I was given the opportunity to change positions in my job and it would of come with a significant raise but I turned it down because the coworker id be working with is a terrible human and I do not trust him. It’s a real shame because I could use the raise but I can’t sacrifice my sanity. I know I’d be an emotional wreak working with this person ugh.

I hate how the sadness just over takes me. I can feel fine and then the next moment the emotions are so strong and overpowering that all I can do is cry. Everything hurts right now. I just want to disappear

I’m so tired of masking when I’m screaming inside

I just feel so alone :(

I just want to be able to hug and kiss my girlfriend 😭. It hasn’t even been a week apart and I feel so touch deprived. Idk how long distance couples do it. It’s very lonely over here.

Someone I just like to talk to my animals and imagine what they would respond with and I just said to Beatrice “YOURE A CAT BEA?” and I said in her cat voice “HECK YEAH IM A CAT”. Am I actually communicating with my animals or am I just insane? 😂😂

It’s only been 2 days and I miss them so much. My partner went to residential treatment on Friday for their eating disorder and even though I know this is where they need to be right now I miss them so much. I miss having them next to me in bed. I miss being able to hold them. I miss their kisses. I miss everything. I’m struggling to keep myself sane. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through and I can’t even imagine how they must be feeling right now. Thankfully I can talk to them everyday. They get an hour of phone time everyday. I am very thankful for that. It’s still very hard. I have been preparing myself for this and now that it’s real the emotions have really kicked in. Mental health is struggling but I’m trying my best to stay strong. I love them with all my heart and all I want if for them to recover and I know this is going to be an up and down battle but I am willing to do anything to be there for them.

I don’t know if I’m manic or if I’m high but I have come to the realization that I want to be a drama teacher. Those who can’t do teach and I loved being a theater kid but I grew up and needed a job and needed a stable life in order to be stable and OK again and performing became a thing of my past. But theatre saved me so many times as a kid and I want to teach kids how to express themselves in a fun and creative way. And maybe I have a savior complex but that little shy girl in me wants to encourage young people

I’ve been having a lot of health problems the last few months and even though they have all been minor and fixable it’s been a financial strain and it’s making me more and more scared of aging. Am I going to die young? What’s the next issue I’m gonna have? I’ve never really had medical anxiety until recently because other than my obesity I’ve been pretty health my whole life. I’m just scared. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to me. I’m scared of dying. I’m scared of all the unknown. I am struggling so hard mentally to keep myself together. To keep going to work. To keep doing all the tasks I have to do to be a functioning adult. But I don’t want to do any of it anymore. I have no ambition anymore. Nothing. I’m just sad and scared

I fucking hate the dentist. I think I have a abscess in my gums so I contacted them to get me in tomorrow and I specifically told them I would like a morning appointment because it works better for my work schedule and they got me an appointment for 8am and then they call me and hour later and ask me if I can come in at 2pm instead because it works better for the dentist. Um no? Did I not say I would prefer mornings. You gave me a morning appointment that’s the appointment I want. If there wasn’t anything available in the morning then fine but you already scheduled me so I’m not taking it back. Fucking stupid. I just don’t wanna deal with all this.

The tmj pain is the fucking worst. My mouth guard fell out the other night so I slept without and now my face fucking hurts