Looking for some +++ Positive +++ Representation

Passing the Bechdel: Irina tells Sydney about the favor she needs, and explains her plans.  Sydney confronts Irina on the rooftop. Sydney greets “Francie” after returning home.  They pass again when Sydney offers “Francie” ice cream. They pass a third time after Allison remembers Francie doesn’t like coffee ice cream.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

“Francie Calfo” / Allison Doren

Irina Derevko

Carrie Bowman

Mary Beth

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Marshall Flinkman

Eric Weiss

Kendall

Will Tippin

Sark

Frederick Brandon

Jack Bristow

Marcus Dixon

Arvin Sloane

Additional Notes:

F.Y.I., show, we didn’t need to have Allison be someone who suddenly developed feelings for her mark—I.E. Will. It’s an utterly unnecessary beat, as played. 

That said, I am totally here for her and Sark. 

Smoking is bad, but damn, Allison makes it look so damn good. 

While the big confrontation between Sydney and SpyMommy is often interpreted as a sign that Irina is ultimately on Sydney’s side, my interpretation tends to be the opposite: there’s no reason to do any of this unless the idea is to keep Sydney on her side while still working against her interests. 

While this is not the last episode of Alias J.J. Abrams will be closely involved with, it is the last episode of what feels like J.J. Abrams’ Alias. As such, it is not especially surprising that even though this is a season finale, it’s clearly not an ending in any real sense of the word. Instead, it’s just more of the same chase we’ve been on for most of the back half of the season, in a way that lays bare just how limited that storytelling approach.  

Sure, it’s not like the episode isn’t diverting, in the moment. Once it’s done, though, there’s nothing that lasts. Sloane and possibly Irina have everything they needed to build the big Rambaldi device…and?  We don’t know what they want and we don’t know what the machine does, so why do we care if the good guys win or lose? In fact, they do lose! The episode doesn’t care, though, so why should we?

Granted, one could make similar criticisms of the previous season finale, with the now-forgotten Rambaldi Ball, but this one, in the end, feels less satisfying.  That one, at least, had very defined stakes amidst the weirdness: Will was in trouble and needed rescuing. This one just has the chase for the chase’s sake. Sure, SpyDaddy is kidnapped for all of five minutes, but we’re not really meant to care.

Passing the Bechdel: Sydney tells “Francie” the truth about her job. Irina tells Sydney that she’ll be needing a favor.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

“Francie Calfo”

Irina Derevko

Sarah

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Sark

Will Tippin

McCain

Jack Bristow

Marshall Flinkman

Kendall

Marcus Dixon

Garth

Hans Jurgen

Jens

Arvin Sloane

 Additional Notes:

We’re told early this episode that Will now qualifies for a senior analyst position, and I don’t believe a word of it, given that he’s been an analyst for all of four minutes. 

The details surrounding doubling are slightly different from those given in “Double Agent.” We were told then that double’s eyes were made intentionally different, in order to be able to tell who was who, but here it’s just “doubles have particular proteins.” Similarly, provacilium, the drug mentioned here used by doubles, was not mentioned at all in that previous episode.   

Alias characters have never been careful about ensuring that they’re not able to be overheard, but even so Sydney’s behavior in front of Faux Francie is especially egregious—especially after she’d told her that she was barred from sharing information.  Be a better spy, Sydney. And while you’re at it, actually suspect Francie, if you’re not going to believe Will is a double? 

Remember when Will was arguably the show’s deuteragonist, with his own supporting cast, setting, and mini-show-within the show?  Alias sure has, and has been stuck pretending that it’s still interested in him. And it’s a damn shame, too, because there was a real spark in his story, especially near the end.

Passing the Bechdel: Sydney and Barnett talk, but it’s exclusively and purposefully about Dixon.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Carrie Bowman

Judy Barnett

Male Characters:

Marcus Dixon

Frederick Brandon

Michael Vaughn

Jack Bristow

Marshall Flinkman

Sark

Arvin Sloane

Emilio Vargas

Jandu

Conrad

Additional Notes:

I usually like Vaughn, but he is such a snitch this episode, in a way that feels very contrived, given just how many times he’s been willing to bend or break the rules in the past. 

Marshall and Carrie are totally adorable. I ship them, which is good, since this is what the episode intends. 

Danny Trejo feels totally wasted this episode, going down like a punk.

We learn this episode that it was Jack who recruited Dixon into SD-6, which is something I really wish had been delved into more. We see almost nothing of Dixon’s relationship with Jack, even though it’s an older relationship than his relationship with Sydney, and that’s a damn shame.

I realize co-opting Asian culture is David Carradine’s brand, and that having Conrad actually be Asian wouldn’t have actually improved anything, but still, this is not a fantastic look.

Passing the Bechdel: Sydney asks Elsa if she would undergo regression therapy.  Sydney talks to an imprisoned Elsa. Diane apologizes to Sydney.  

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Irina Derevko

Elsa Caplan

Diane Dixon

“Francie Calfo”

Male Characters:

Marcus Dixon

Arvin Sloane

Sark

Jack Bristow

Neil Caplan

Michael Vaughn

Trailer

Weiss

Morgan Nickovich

Will Tippin

Marshall Flinkman

Additional Notes:

Alias’ timeline has always been a mess, and this episode, which supposedly takes place two months after “A Free Agent,” does not help. 

It’s taken a while, but we finally got our first few hints about what makes Sark tick—although honestly, I’m not sure they say much.

I really don’t care for the suggestion that the only way Elsa can prove that she’s on the level is by showing just how much she cares for her family, particularly since the alternative is “she’s a monster for being a spy,” which is a bit rich.  

I really don’t get why they needed to make Neil Caplan an ass-kicker this episode—it feels inconsistent with everything we’d been told before, and his connection to the NSA isn’t enough to explain it. It feels, more than anything else, like something they felt they needed to do because Christian Slater is a big-name male guest star.

Alias continues to be…not good when it comes to guest characters. Here, we have the return of Elsa and Neil Caplan, whom the show attempts to use as prisms through which to look at our regular cast. Unfortunately, like James Lennox before them, it does so in an exceedingly clumsy manner. There is creating parallels between guest characters and main characters, and then there’s making it so that Elsa is a Russian spy sent to marry Neil, who, we learn this episode, is actually an NSA asset, so that SpyDaddy can play the exact same emotional beats he’s been playing all season. Not only that, the device the episode uses to add stakes to the episode is exceedingly contrived; why has Russian intelligence decided that now is the time to kill Neil Caplan, and not at any other point during the supposed two months he has spent kidnapped? 

Passing the Bechdel: 

 There are several interactions between women, but they almost invariably feature either no back and forth, or have one of the parties turn the subject to men. That said, Sydney and Emily speak briefly about Irina.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Irina Derevko

Emily Sloane

“Francie Calfo”

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Marcus Dixon

Cliff

Jack Bristow

Arvin Sloane

Sark

Kendall

Marshall Flinkman

Heinz Brucker

Will Tippin

Additional Notes:

This may be the episode where the show’s “X hours earlier” device really stops working. There’s really no point to it beyond setting up a completely unnecessary fake-out.

How does “make sure there’s no evidence we’re here” mean “blow up the building along with everyone inside?”

Sloane and SpyMommy is both everything I wanted and not nearly enough. This is the problem with writing that is focused on keeping stuff from the audience: it means you miss opportunities for really interesting conversations and dynamics. 

Similarly, I wish we could get more of SpyMommy and Sark, given everything that has been suggested about them. Having him defibrillate her is just not enough. 

Speaking of Sark, I wonder if that smile he makes before killing Brucker—which I had not noticed until a friend mentioned it—was there in the script / direction or was a decision by David Anders.

Even though he’s appeared in most episodes this season, I can’t say I’ve quite got a handle of Kendall’s character beyond “abrasive,” but boy, I love him.  

Passing the Bechdel: 

 Irina says her goodbyes to Sydney.

Female Characters:

Irina Derevko

Sydney Bristow

“Francie Calfo”

Male Characters:

Luri Karpachev

Sark

Kendall

Jack Bristow

Michael Vaughn

Mitchell Yeager

Marshall Flinkman

Weiss

Ilya Stuka

Will Tippin

Arvin Sloane

Additional Notes:

Boy, the CGI for the elevator has not aged well. 

In the context of the season as a whole, the whole Vaughn B-plot (or is it A-plot?) feels a lot like filler, since there was no hint of any of it before and it doesn’t really come up later. In the context of future Vaughn revelations, though, it ends up feeling like a happy accident. 

Also, it helps when you have a good actor doing the interrogation, and Richard Lewis is really great here.

It’s striking how well the Bangkok mission works here, particularly given that it’s not significantly structurally different from Sydney’s usual missions, which have to a large degree worn out their welcome. Some particular factors: Irina / Lena Olin has more stage presence than Sydney / Jennifer Garner; the background music is excellent; Ilya Stuka gets to show quite a bit of character in a very short amount of time, and the fact that there is history between he and Irina helps. Perhaps most important, though, is that the mission reveals character in a way Sydney’s missions have long since stopped doing. 

Passing the Bechdel: 

 Sydney and Francie talk about the weirdness between them. They pass again once Sydney informs Francie about work. Sydney tells Alia to come with her.  Sydney apologizes to Francie about missing their planned hangout.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

“Francie Calfo”

Diane Dixon

Joyce

Alia Gizabi

Male Characters:

Arvin Sloane

Michael Vaughn

Sark

Marshall Flinkman

Kendall

Weiss

Jack Bristow

Amhad Kabir

Marcus Dixon

Will Tippin

Fleming

Additional Notes:

Double standards ahoy: the first(!) time we see Sydney having to make contact with a woman in a mission, and her alias is that of an old woman.

On that note, Sydney’s old-person makeup is terrible.

Making a Muslim woman in hiding reside in a Vatican embassy is certainly a choice.  It’d probably be waaaay less bothersome if Alia were more of a character, of if the choice weren’t almost entirely about the imagery, but alas.

After being the source of vague portents for most of the series so far, Rambaldi actually results in something concrete: a weapon that causes people within a specific range to spontaneously combust. Sure.

Three episodes after “Phase One,” and Alias is at a bit of a flail. Sure, we now have Sloane as an open antagonist, but even with that, it still feels as if the series has lost something, without a ready replacement. 

Passing the Bechdel: 

 Sydney and Irina about the former graduating and leaving the C.I.A.  “Francie” congratulates Sydney on graduating. Elsa Caplan asks Sydney her name.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Irina Derevko

Elsa Caplan

“Francie Calfo”

Diane Dixon

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Kendall

Jack Bristow

Aaron Caplan

Neil Caplan

Sark

Will Tippin

Arvin Sloane

Marcus Dixon

Marshall Flinkman

Mr. Johnson

Tobias Dennet

Antonyn Vassily

David

Claude Sheurer

Peter Kunz

Additional Notes:

Like Ethan Hawke’s role last episode, the major guest star role here appears to have been conceived with the perception that a big enough name—in this case Christian Slater—would render unnecessary the act of actually making him interesting. No, dude, I don’t actually care about your random family or marital troubles. 

Sydney going from still taking classes in season one to graduating in season two—a time span that, regardless what the series claims, should actually comprise only roughly three trimesters—is the second least plausible “real world” thing in the series, after Francie’s restaurant. 

Fake Francie is reeeeally bad at pretending to be real Francie. 

While I’m really glad both Dixons are getting time to not be okay with the truths that have been kept from them, I feel that they should be waaaay less okay about it than they actually are. Diane mentions that Marcus worked for the people who made America less safe, but doesn’t mention the obvious implication: that he himself might—and most likely did—make America less safe.  Diane should be considering the absolute worst possibilities: that Dixon actually knew about SD-6. That he’s killed and might kill again. That he has another family elsewhere. Similarly, Dixon should be second-guessing everything he did while at SD-6. While the things we’ve seen him actually do have been largely innocuous, the truth should have made him question everything. His reaction feels far too muted.

While it is real fun to see Marshall take to the actual C.I.A. like a fish to water, I do wish things had been less easy. Not for him, specifically, but for someone who made the leap from SD-6 to actual C.I.A.

I really wish more had been made of the fact that multiple people in Sydney’s life—people who are ostensibly on her side—openly tried to emotionally blackmail her into doing their bidding.

See, show? You can make a convincing disguise for a character without resorting to brownface or yellowface. 

After the tangent that was “Double Agent,” we now return to the main story, in what is largely a transitional episode dealing with the consequences of the big SD-6 takedown. It kind of works, in that the things that it explores it explores well. Still, the problem here—which is a problem with the larger series—is that this should all feel bigger. In keeping its focus squarely on the main cast, the series takes what should be a huge deal—SD-6 is no more—and makes it seem much smaller than it actually is.  

Passing the Bechdel: 

Christine tells Sydney she’s read her file.  Sydney consoles Christine.  

Female Characters:

Emma Wallace

Sydney Bristow

Christine Phillips

“Francie Calfo”

Male Characters:

“James Lennox” / Renzo Markovic

Arvin Sloane

Michael Vaughn

Weiss

Kendall

Jack Bristow

Rick McCarthy

Arden Kezek

James Lennox

 Other Notes:

Weiss, I realize Sydney and Vaughn are a thing, but that doesn’t actually mean you can just make a pass at your new colleague.

Not!Francie needs to do a much better job of impersonating Francie.

The Sydney and Vaughn moments are easily the best parts of this episode.

Bin Laden gets mentioned this episode, which is a weird intrusion of the real into the show’s more fantastical take on global politics. This episode in general feels as if it’s trying to be more realistic than Alias usually is, which makes it feel exceedingly odd as the introductory episode it’s supposed to be. 

One more for the “what even is our moral code anyway?” file: Vaughn injecting a goon with a poison that will kill him if he doesn’t do what they ask.

I don’t even understand why they had Ethan Hawke’s character kiss Sydney, particularly since in the end, it’s not a clue hinting that he’s not the real deal. It feels like something that happens because there was no way that Ethan Hawke wasn’t going to kiss Jennifer Garner, which is a terrible thing to have to suspect.

Of all the things I don’t like about this episode is that the one new character with the most potential, and which I’d have liked to see more of is also the one that gets horribly killed. 

 Well, this is odd.

The story goes that until it was decided (fairly early on, from all appearances) that “Phase One” would be Alias’ Super Bowl episode, it was “Double Agent” that was slated to fill that role. That detail goes on to explain a lot of this episode’s weirdness, such as the introduction of a character who exists almost entirely to permit characters to be introduced and then never appears again, to the extremely male gaze-y shots of Sydney exiting a pool, to, most notably, the episode’s guest star Ethan Hawke, one year after his Oscar nomination, who gets unprecedented focus in a way that makes this episode feel less like Alias and more like an Alias tie-in novel: it’s got familiar faces and concepts, but there’s too much that feels off. 

Alias so far has not been a series that is comfortable with characters. It has often faltered when it comes to those outside its core cast (and sometimes those within it) relying largely on solid actors to elevate what are often underwritten roles. As it has progressed, it has dispensed almost entirely with missions involving people and doubled down on missions involving MacGuffins, which makes this story an outlier, at least at this point in the series’ history.

Passing the Bechdel: 

Super Bowl watchers don’t want to see women talking, apparently.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Francie Calfo

Diane Dixon

“Francie Calfo”

Male Characters:

Gils Macor

Jack Bristow

Dixon

Michael Vaughn

Weiss

Kendall

Anthony Geiger

McCullough

Arvin Sloane

There is so damn much to say about this episode. How it’s colored by the fact that it’s a Super Bowl Episode—an episode designed to appeal to a new, broader audience who might not have otherwise watched the show. How it irrevocably alters the show’s status quo, and why it does so. How it’s often (unfairly, I feel) identified as the point the show jumped the shark.  How it’s both the series at its most exciting while arguably also being made up of largely empty calories.  

Let’s start with the initial scene, where Sydney literally parades in lingerie as part of her latest mission, which has her impersonate a sex worker in order to get close to a person with access that will allow her to take down SD-6. Twice. It’s both the apex of a practice the show has indulged in before—using Sydney’s aliases as a way to justify placing Jennifer Garner in a variety of sexy costumes—and also an outlier: the sequence exists the way it does entirely because the showrunners wanted to draw in new viewers sticking around after the Super Bowl.  

There are several things that bug me about this sequence. The first and most obvious is that, this was the first impression J.J. Abrams and company thought needed to be made, which is quite telling. Given that nothing in the series ever suggests that the writers ever considered queer women, it’s quite clear who is being prioritized here, both within the story and a TV show—especially since the episode also has her note, for the first time, that she does not particularly care for being dressed this way (something more than borne out by her usual style).  

Also bothersome is the fact that Sydney’s alias is that of a sex worker, because while the series has been more than happy to have Sydney (and the few other female characters we’ve seen) be sexy, and sometimes even seductive, it seems far less comfortable with allowing her to be sexual, even when performing a job that in popular perception requires it. Sydney strutting down the airplane hallway is good enough to do twice, the series suggests; actually having sex with her target, however, would have crossed a line and made Sydney unworthy of viewers’ support. Occasionally, we’ve seen this belief suggested textually: the disdain with which Macor’s reliance on sex workers is talked about this episode and the way Anna Espinosa was introduced as evil Sydney by showing her having sex with her mark both suggests there is something wrong with non-romantic sex.  

While Alias does not generally claim to be a feminist work, it is still somewhat unsettling to see a show that is ostensibly centered on a woman make these arguments. It’s not surprising—at all—but still disappointing. I don’t actually care to see Sydney having sex with random people for information, but this low-key slut-shaming doesn’t work either.  

As attention-grabbing as the initial sequence is, however, it’s only a drop in the bucket to what is largely an innocuous episode. Most of what is notable about “Phase One” has little to do with what it is doing and everything to do with how it is doing it. This is the big “blow up the status quo” episode: after this, SD-6 and the Alliance are no more; the series’ core premise is, for all intents and purposes, over and done with.

Back when this first aired, the fact that the show would just up and end its central conflict in the middle of its second season was treated as shocking and daring; in retrospect, it feels much less so.  While there are still no obvious-in-retrospect in-story hints that this would happen—not a point in the episode’s favor—one can see, given how the series’ focus shifted from SD-6 to the C.I.A., that the writers had gotten somewhat bored with the double agent shenanigans. Something like this was always going to happen, and given the details of the premise, it arguably needed to happen sooner rather than later.

(It’s also been well-documented that the timing of SD-6′s end was dictated largely in part by the perception that people found the series hard to follow, and a desire to accommodate those people. While I have some sympathy for these claims, and find them believable—especially since the writers had trouble keeping their continuity straight more than once—it also feels shocking that the showrunners were willing to bend to this degree.)

What is still quite surprising, however, is how little interest there was on making this feel like a satisfying conclusion. The circumstances that bring down SD-6 relate to nothing Sydney or the C.I.A. had previously done. There is little sense of escalating stakes, with none of the established Alliance players in attendance, and with the major threat—Jack at SD-6 being tortured—being a nearly direct replay of what had occurred on the episode immediately preceding this one. Sloane’s replacement at SD-6 is someone we’d never seen or heard from before, and gets taken down without a fight. At no point does it feel like the people assaulting SD-6 are in danger.   While the events of the episode are not completely divorced from things that have gone on before—they occur as a direct consequence of Sloane’s exit last episode, and is part of his ongoing plan with Sark and perhaps SpyMommy—what they do is make the end of SD-6 the beginning of a new story, rather than the end of one.  It also denies viewers a sense of proper satisfaction—surely the end of SD-6 should come because of Sydney?  And yet, she is ultimately largely irrelevant—a tool in somebody else’s story. The show’s original premise, thus, is rendered an inconvenience—something to be discarded as dramatically as possible.  

This isn’t to say that the episode doesn’t work—most of it does, quite well.  Dixon gets what is possibly his finest moment in the series, and gets to be the lynchpin of the episode.  The Sydney / Vaughn ship finally sets sail with a great kiss. The ending is shocking. It all feels lush and big and exciting.  In the end, though, it’s not the finale I wanted it to be.  

Other Notes:

Because this episode is aimed at potential new viewers, there are a bunch of scenes and conversations that exist solely so that these new viewers can be caught up to speed. While I appreciate the effort, these scenes now seem dated and intrusive, if sometimes charmingly so. 

On that note, part of restating the show’s premise is mentioning Danny for the first time in like a dozen episodes, in the process giving us much more detail than we’d ever gotten about him. Kinda too little too late, show. 

This episode’s big guest star is Rutger Hauer, who does his best but is let down by a story that doesn’t have much time for him and a script that doesn’t allow him to be terribly memorable in the time he does have. Given that his mayor role involves him stumbling upon the fact that Sydney and Jack are double agents and torturing Jack, I really wish they’d allowed Ariana Kane to stay for one more episode and merge the two stories. But that would have defeated the purpose of the story. 

We’re told that Sloane is acting director of SD-6, which is either an error or one heck of a thing to slip into when it’s no longer relevant. While it answers some questions (like why he wasn’t a senior partner at the Alliance) it also raises far more (why is he still acting director after seven years)? 

HOW IS FRANCIE’S RESTAURANT MAKING A PROFIT AFTER SIX MONTHS?

Passing the Bechdel: 

After a conversation that is exclusively about guys, Francie and Sydney pass when Francie tells Sydney they’re going out for cocktails.  

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Ariana Kane

Irina Derevko

Francie Calfo

Emily Sloane

Male Characters:

Jack Bristow

Blake

Marshall Flinkman

Dixon

Arvin Sloane

Michael Vaughn

Weiss

Karl Schatz

Patton Birch

Claude Rousseau

Rick McCarthy

Kendall

Other Notes:

Good reversal, with Sydney pulling off a vehicular rescue of her father. 

Sydney reaches new heights of unprofessionalism this episode—you’re a spy Sydney: you’re not entitled to know everything that is going on in the workplace. It feels especially egregious just a couple of episodes after she’d said that she now understood that keeping secrets was something done out of love.

Marshall is such a sweetheart, giving Dixon and Sydney gifts for thanking them. 

I appreciate the callbacks to Jean Briault. Continuity!

Yay, Weiss is back! Boo, he’s now pushing for the Sydney / Vaughn ship, after being the voice of reason last season.  

Passing the Bechdel:  

Francie suggests Sydney quit the bank.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Francie Calfo

Irina Derevko

Ariana Kane

Male Characters:

Will Tippin

Marshall Flinkman

Michael Vaughn

Kendall

Jack Bristow

Arvin Sloane

Craig Blair

Dixon

Rick McCarthy

Other Notes:

One would think that a series which introduces a massive surveillance system would actually tackle the implications surrounding its existence, but not Alias. While Will does ask whether such a system is unconstitutional, Sydney’s response is a tepid “well, the people in charge say they don’t abuse it, and I believe them.”

Francie doesn’t get nearly as much screen time as she deserves, show: don’t waste it by using it to have her argue that she should totally quit her job for Vaughn. In fact, that whole D-plot is bad—not enough to ruin the episode, but it is completely unnecessary. Give Vaughn more credit than that.

I like how the show pulls back the curtain on TV production techniques in order to show how SpyDaddy can fake being in places he hasn’t been to.  

While I’m glad to see Jack’s murder of Haladki from last season have consequences, the way its inserted here really doesn’t work.  Ariana claims that the fact that Jack used an SD-6 gun to kill someone on the same day Emily was killed makes Jack suspicious, but Emily wasn’t killed that day. The day Haladki was killed was the day Sloane “killed” Emily, weeks before she was actually killed.

Marshall’s reference to Audiogalaxy never fails to amuse me.

This rewatch has really gotten me noticing some of the background players at the C.I.A. If only they were more than, essentially, recurring extras. 

Irina is such a boss.

This is a really good episode for both Dixon and Marshall, the sort that makes me resent how much the new status quo has reduced their overall screen-time.  SD-6 shenanigans remain, on average, more interesting than C.I.A. shenanigans. 

Passing the Bechdel: 

Sydney and Irina talk at the exercise yard.  Alice greets “Rita.”

Female Characters:

Irina Derevko

Sydney Bristow

Francie Calfo

Ariana Kane

Alice

Male Characters:

Jack Bristow

Will Tippin

Arvin Sloane

Sark

Michael Vaughn

Marshall

Thatcher Powell

Other Notes:

Irina Derevko vs. fly: hot.

“I was a fool to think that any ideology could come between me and my daughter,” Irina says, during her heart-to-heart with Sydney. While the source is unreliable, at this point I feel it’s fairly clear that Alias does truly believe that biological family trumps everything else, which is not a message I have a lot of time for, and especially not the way Alias tells it.  Case in point, this episode has Sydney express that her warming feelings towards Irina result from the fact that she feels Irina is acting more like a mother to her, which is certainly a take.

Will’s response to Sydney’s comments about her time in Kashmir is very funny, and it reminds me that we haven’t gotten nearly enough domestic scenes this season.  

While the the MacGuffin this week—access to a low-rent version of the Machine from Person of Interest—is rather undercooked, it’s miles more interesting that anything having to do with Rambaldi, because the stakes and implications are immediately clear, even when the series is dead set on ignoring half of them.

While this season so far has done a somewhat better job of giving Sydney aliases that go beyond “hot [person]”, there’s still a noticeable disparity between the performances she’s allowed to give, versus the performances her male partners are allowed to give. Yes, Marshall’s performance is meant to be somewhat buffoonish, in contrast to Sydney’s polish. Still, in the end, it’s his performance that is actually funny and memorable and revealing, while Sydney’s is just there.

While I have reservations about the greater variety of mission partners paired with Sydney this season, I have no complaints about her and Sark’s mission in Paris this episode, especially when he gets too look like this:

Passing the Bechdel: 

Irina tells Sydney about security in the facility they’re infiltrating. Sydney asks about mines in PRF territory, and Irina asks about school.  Irina tells Sydney to rest.  

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Irina Derevko

Male Characters:

Rick

Michael Vaughn

Kendall

Craig Blair

Jack Bristow

Rajive

Sark

Arvin Sloane

Ramon

Alain Christophe

Gerard Cuvee

Marshall

Arshad

Other Notes:

This episode reminds us for the first time this season that Sydney is a grad student, and tells us that she’s working on her dissertation.  While this part of Sydney’s life never got the most attention, the fact that it is only now that we even get a hint of it tells you a lot about the series’ changed priorities. 

I like Jack’s contact. He’s got personality, and I always like it when the series references the older generation’s past lives. 

That said, not all nods of that sort work. Gerard Cuvee, introduced this episode as a former colleague of Irina’s, is a really bland antagonist, with nothing beyond the actor’s previous working relationship with Lena Olin to make him stand out.

On a similar note, I want to acknowledge all the work the writers of these two episodes—Debra J. Fisher and Erica Messer for part one and Crystal Nix Hines for part two—to flesh out Kashmir and its geopolitics: I’m not sure it could be considered good, but it is, by far, the best job the series has done in giving a sense of place to its locations—especially in comparison to episodes like “The Counteragent.” It feels like a specific place with an existence independent from that of Spy Family, which is something the series very rarely achieves or even attempts.

I remain uncertain whether the disguises the SpyFamily don this episode constitute brownface or not; if they’re wearing makeup to darken their skin, it’s subtle enough that I cannot easily tell. Still, given past precedent, it can’t be really ruled out.

This episode, more than any previously, makes the best case for Rambaldi ultimately being an unnecessary liability for the series. The episode worked perfectly well as the story the spy family preventing SD-6 from obtaining nukes; however, once it’s all revealed to be about Rambaldi, any sense of stakes the story had disappears. The writers haven’t done the job of convincing us that it’s all as important as characters believe it is, so there’s no reason to be invested in Sydney and company’s success.

This two-parter is often held up as among the best season two has to offer; it’s certainly emblematic, and not in a great way. Sure, it’s fun when it’s all Spy Parents bickering, but as with the Rambaldi reveal at the end, it’s all rather empty.

Passing the Bechdel: 

Irina tells Sydney that she needs to be temporarily let go.  Francie asks Sydney if she wants to go to the spa. Sydney asks Irina for help retrieving the warheads.  Irina asks if Sydney is alright after a shootout in Kashmir.

Female Characters:

Sydney Bristow

Irina Derevko

Francie Calfo

Male Characters:

Sark

Jack Bristow

Arvin Sloane

Dixon

Marshall

Kendall

Michael Vaughn

Zoran Sokolov

Will Tippin

Saeed Akhtar

Other Notes:

While it’s good to see Dixon object to Sark now working with SD-6, I really wish he’d pointed out that Sark had worked for the same people who’d broken into their HQ last season.

The SD-6 mission at the start of the episode feels as if it were from an entirely different show, what with it involving an actual extended conversation with someone who is actually not very nice, who then just goes on with his day.

Lena Olin’s pronunciation of the word “sabotage” is distressingly sexy.

Will is doing his best, and is not getting enough appreciation from the C.I.A. :(

(At least Vaughn is there for him.) 

All of the interactions between the Bristows are gold, but I’m particularly fond of Jack’s “your motherhood is a biological fact with no substantive value in Sydney’s life,” which is kind of rich for this series. 

We know the People’s Revolutionary Front is made out of true believers because nobody in the group actually ever audience-tested that name.

This woman only appears for five seconds, but I want to know everything about her.

Passing the Bechdel: 

Francie asks Sydney for her opinion on Francie’s bouillabaisse. Sydney and Irina talk about the antidote for the Rambaldi virus.  

Female Characters:

Irina Derevko

Sydney Bristow

Francie Calfo

Alice

Abigail

Male Characters:

Michael Vaughn

Doctor Nicholas

Will Tippin

Kendall

Rudman

Jack Bristow

Agent Chapman

Arvin Sloane

Sark

Marshall

Claus Richter

Henry Fields

Other Notes:

Vaughn doesn’t try to keep his illness secret. Good for him. 

Sydney’s all okay with Project Christmas, apparently. That the plotline is now apparently a Will story feels like a demotion, even if I’m glad it gives him something to do. 

Sydney’s apparently okay with Jack, too. What were the last three episodes there for, then? 

Abbie! Given how important Will’s job last season was, I’m glad to see at least one character from that circle return.

Mentioned but not shown last season, we finally get to see Alice, Vaughn’s girlfriend and then ex. On one hand, I’m really happy they didn’t try to make her a TV show smokeshow.  On the other hand, she feels very much like a character existing solely to create romantic angst the show does not need.  Irina’s conversations with Vaughn about his feelings for Sydney feel the same way. 

The crux of this episode is that Sydney is coerced to hand over Sloane to Sark so that he can be killed, in exchange for the antidote to the virus that is killing Vaughn. The fact that this is presented as a shocking moral dilemma that no right-minded person would consider is ridiculous in theory, and only more so in execution, as we have characters like Kendall asserting, in all seriousness, that “American intelligence agents are not in the business of committing murder” —an excellent candidate for most unintentionally funny line in the series. Alias’ sense of right and wrong has always been incoherent, and here that’s stretched to the breaking point.

While Sloane being in hot water with the Alliance after SD-6′s recent failures is somewhat consistent with what we’ve seen this season, it also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Are those failures disappointing?  Sure. That said, they should also be a drop in the bucket, given what we’ve been told of SD-6′s operations. Just because Sydney’s missions are all we see doesn’t mean it’s all that’s going on, show.  

Where to start with that Japan sequence. With the writers deciding that Japan means geishas? With the yellowface, and the assertion that Sydney can somehow pass as Japanese? With Jennifer Garner’s painful command of the language?  With the music, which is exactly like what you’d expect it to be, given everything else? I can’t say it’s worse than the brownface sequence last season, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not racist as fuck.