In which I watch tv shows and write posts about whether or not each episode passes the Bechdel, along with other observations on the quality (or lack thereof) of their female representation (as well as anything else that feels important to me, and hey, a little about the quality of the episodes themselves, because I'm just a big damn fan of tv).   We all know the Bechdel is not (and was never intended to be) the be-all-and-end-all for judging the feminist content of a text, it's supposed to represent a bare-minimum hurdle that all-too-many things still completely fail to step over. Within the context of this blog, it remains a bare minimum - even if the episode gives me nothing else worth talking about, I can at least note whether or not it passes the B. Since you could theoretically pass the Bechdel eight times over and still be churning out the most misogynistic content ever encountered, this blog will also endeavour to evaluate that content when and where possible, offering a positive content rating out of five (five being excellent, one being atrocious, and three being the baseline standard from which so few episodes dare to deviate), and details of these observations and others under the spoiler-cut.   Â
...a little of both, at this point. Iâm way too busy to pretend I can keep it running consistently, but Iâm also not ruling out the possibility that I might temporarily return now and then for a short run, and then go away again. So, itâs mostly done, but not officially done.Â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (33.33%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Ten (66.67%).
Positive Content Rating: Three
General Episode Quality: Breezy. Â
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel: Irina tells Sydney about the favor she needs, and explains her plans. Â Sydney confronts Irina on the rooftop. Sydney greets âFrancieâ after returning home. Â They pass again when Sydney offers âFrancieâ ice cream. They pass a third time after Allison remembers Francie doesnât like coffee ice cream.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
âFrancie Calfoâ / Allison Doren
Irina Derevko
Carrie Bowman
Mary Beth
Male Characters:
Michael Vaughn
Marshall Flinkman
Eric Weiss
Kendall
Will Tippin
Sark
Frederick Brandon
Jack Bristow
Marcus Dixon
Arvin Sloane
Additional Notes:
F.Y.I., show, we didnât need to have Allison be someone who suddenly developed feelings for her markâI.E. Will. Itâs an utterly unnecessary beat, as played.Â
That said, I am totally here for her and Sark.Â
Smoking is bad, but damn, Allison makes it look so damn good.Â
While the big confrontation between Sydney and SpyMommy is often interpreted as a sign that Irina is ultimately on Sydneyâs side, my interpretation tends to be the opposite: thereâs no reason to do any of this unless the idea is to keep Sydney on her side while still working against her interests.Â
While this is not the last episode of Alias J.J. Abrams will be closely involved with, it is the last episode of what feels like J.J. Abramsâ Alias. As such, it is not especially surprising that even though this is a season finale, itâs clearly not an ending in any real sense of the word. Instead, itâs just more of the same chase weâve been on for most of the back half of the season, in a way that lays bare just how limited that storytelling approach. Â
Sure, itâs not like the episode isnât diverting, in the moment. Once itâs done, though, thereâs nothing that lasts. Sloane and possibly Irina have everything they needed to build the big Rambaldi deviceâŚand?  We donât know what they want and we donât know what the machine does, so why do we care if the good guys win or lose? In fact, they do lose! The episode doesnât care, though, so why should we?
Granted, one could make similar criticisms of the previous season finale, with the now-forgotten Rambaldi Ball, but this one, in the end, feels less satisfying. Â That one, at least, had very defined stakes amidst the weirdness: Will was in trouble and needed rescuing. This one just has the chase for the chaseâs sake. Sure, SpyDaddy is kidnapped for all of five minutes, but weâre not really meant to care.
If there is one element here with any heft, it comes surprisingly from Allison Doren, a.k.a. Faux Francie, who gets just enough attention to make her fate disappointing. Still, her story has definition and weight; sheâs stuck in another womanâs body and in another womanâs life, and escape seems ever less likely. Additionally, with her mole status, her Project Christmas connection and her relationship to Sarkâher handlerâshe has thematic links to Sydney which, while a bit on the nose, still work. Â Unfortunately, the one thing that is an actual start is the one thing that is treated like an ending. Â
Does it pass the Bechdel Test? Yes, twice, barely.
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Four (25%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Twelve (75%)
Positive Content Rating: Three
General Episode Quality: Hard-hitting. Â
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel: Sydney tells âFrancieâ the truth about her job. Irina tells Sydney that sheâll be needing a favor.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
âFrancie Calfoâ
Irina Derevko
Sarah
Male Characters:
Michael Vaughn
Sark
Will Tippin
McCain
Jack Bristow
Marshall Flinkman
Kendall
Marcus Dixon
Garth
Hans Jurgen
Jens
Arvin Sloane
 Additional Notes:
Weâre told early this episode that Will now qualifies for a senior analyst position, and I donât believe a word of it, given that heâs been an analyst for all of four minutes.Â
The details surrounding doubling are slightly different from those given in âDouble Agent.â We were told then that doubleâs eyes were made intentionally different, in order to be able to tell who was who, but here itâs just âdoubles have particular proteins.â Similarly, provacilium, the drug mentioned here used by doubles, was not mentioned at all in that previous episode. Â Â
Alias characters have never been careful about ensuring that theyâre not able to be overheard, but even so Sydneyâs behavior in front of Faux Francie is especially egregiousâespecially after sheâd told her that she was barred from sharing information. Â Be a better spy, Sydney. And while youâre at it, actually suspect Francie, if youâre not going to believe Will is a double?Â
Remember when Will was arguably the showâs deuteragonist, with his own supporting cast, setting, and mini-show-within the show? Â Alias sure has, and has been stuck pretending that itâs still interested in him. And itâs a damn shame, too, because there was a real spark in his story, especially near the end.
Still, weâve finally gotten a Will episode, and itâs good. Granted, itâs a bit of an idiot plot, but the emotions feel good, the parts of it that arenât stupid are really cleverâhypnotizing Will so that he forgets things the more he tries to remember them is sadistic geniusâand really, Iâm just so happy to see Will get some focus.
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Three (23.08%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Ten (76.92%).
Positive Content Rating: Three
General Episode Quality: I donât like it.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel: Sydney and Barnett talk, but itâs exclusively and purposefully about Dixon.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Carrie Bowman
Judy Barnett
Male Characters:
Marcus Dixon
Frederick Brandon
Michael Vaughn
Jack Bristow
Marshall Flinkman
Sark
Arvin Sloane
Emilio Vargas
Jandu
Conrad
Additional Notes:
I usually like Vaughn, but he is such a snitch this episode, in a way that feels very contrived, given just how many times heâs been willing to bend or break the rules in the past.Â
Marshall and Carrie are totally adorable. I ship them, which is good, since this is what the episode intends.Â
Danny Trejo feels totally wasted this episode, going down like a punk.
We learn this episode that it was Jack who recruited Dixon into SD-6, which is something I really wish had been delved into more. We see almost nothing of Dixonâs relationship with Jack, even though itâs an older relationship than his relationship with Sydney, and thatâs a damn shame.
I realize co-opting Asian culture is David Carradineâs brand, and that having Conrad actually be Asian wouldnât have actually improved anything, but still, this is not a fantastic look.
As happy as I am to see Dixon get some focus for once, I really wish heâd been given a different story. I donât like that heâs the character whose mental health weâre asked to question, and whose decision to disregard orders is seen as uniquely dangerous. Do better, show. Â
Does it pass the Bechdel Test? Yes, three times. Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (31.25%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Eleven (68.75%).
Positive Content Rating: Three
General Episode Quality: It has its moments.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel: Sydney asks Elsa if she would undergo regression therapy. Â Sydney talks to an imprisoned Elsa. Diane apologizes to Sydney. Â
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Irina Derevko
Elsa Caplan
Diane Dixon
âFrancie Calfoâ
Male Characters:
Marcus Dixon
Arvin Sloane
Sark
Jack Bristow
Neil Caplan
Michael Vaughn
Trailer
Weiss
Morgan Nickovich
Will Tippin
Marshall Flinkman
Additional Notes:
Aliasâ timeline has always been a mess, and this episode, which supposedly takes place two months after âA Free Agent,â does not help.Â
Itâs taken a while, but we finally got our first few hints about what makes Sark tickâalthough honestly, Iâm not sure they say much.
I really donât care for the suggestion that the only way Elsa can prove that sheâs on the level is by showing just how much she cares for her family, particularly since the alternative is âsheâs a monster for being a spy,â which is a bit rich. Â
I really donât get why they needed to make Neil Caplan an ass-kicker this episodeâit feels inconsistent with everything weâd been told before, and his connection to the NSA isnât enough to explain it. It feels, more than anything else, like something they felt they needed to do because Christian Slater is a big-name male guest star.
Alias continues to beâŚnot good when it comes to guest characters. Here, we have the return of Elsa and Neil Caplan, whom the show attempts to use as prisms through which to look at our regular cast. Unfortunately, like James Lennox before them, it does so in an exceedingly clumsy manner. There is creating parallels between guest characters and main characters, and then thereâs making it so that Elsa is a Russian spy sent to marry Neil, who, we learn this episode, is actually an NSA asset, so that SpyDaddy can play the exact same emotional beats heâs been playing all season. Not only that, the device the episode uses to add stakes to the episode is exceedingly contrived; why has Russian intelligence decided that now is the time to kill Neil Caplan, and not at any other point during the supposed two months he has spent kidnapped?Â
Still, the episode is not without high points. For one, it features an uncommonly competent Sydney. The sequence where she improvises a costume at a convenience store is fun, as is the idea of a cowboy bar in Russia. In the end, though, it feels like fillerâjust a way to give closure to their big-name guest-star. Â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Four (28.57%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Ten (71.43%)
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Not my favorite.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
 There are several interactions between women, but they almost invariably feature either no back and forth, or have one of the parties turn the subject to men. That said, Sydney and Emily speak briefly about Irina.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Irina Derevko
Emily Sloane
âFrancie Calfoâ
Male Characters:
Michael Vaughn
Marcus Dixon
Cliff
Jack Bristow
Arvin Sloane
Sark
Kendall
Marshall Flinkman
Heinz Brucker
Will Tippin
Additional Notes:
This may be the episode where the showâs âX hours earlierâ device really stops working. Thereâs really no point to it beyond setting up a completely unnecessary fake-out.
How does âmake sure thereâs no evidence weâre hereâ mean âblow up the building along with everyone inside?â
Sloane and SpyMommy is both everything I wanted and not nearly enough. This is the problem with writing that is focused on keeping stuff from the audience: it means you miss opportunities for really interesting conversations and dynamics.Â
Similarly, I wish we could get more of SpyMommy and Sark, given everything that has been suggested about them. Having him defibrillate her is just not enough.Â
Speaking of Sark, I wonder if that smile he makes before killing Bruckerâwhich I had not noticed until a friend mentioned itâwas there in the script / direction or was a decision by David Anders.
Even though heâs appeared in most episodes this season, I canât say Iâve quite got a handle of Kendallâs character beyond âabrasive,â but boy, I love him. Â
This episode tends to be well-liked, but like season two in general, it leaves me cold. One would think that SpyMommy and Sloane joining forces would result in some sort of escalation, but the action this episode feels like a retread of what we saw in âA Free Agentâ and âFirebomb.â What escalation we do seeâIrina and Sark blowing up a building full of peopleâgoes on largely unremarked. So we get an episode of muted actions and muted reactions, and it should be so much more.
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Three (21.43%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Eleven (78.57%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Excellent.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
 Irina says her goodbyes to Sydney.
Female Characters:
Irina Derevko
Sydney Bristow
âFrancie Calfoâ
Male Characters:
Luri Karpachev
Sark
Kendall
Jack Bristow
Michael Vaughn
Mitchell Yeager
Marshall Flinkman
Weiss
Ilya Stuka
Will Tippin
Arvin Sloane
Additional Notes:
Boy, the CGI for the elevator has not aged well.Â
In the context of the season as a whole, the whole Vaughn B-plot (or is it A-plot?) feels a lot like filler, since there was no hint of any of it before and it doesnât really come up later. In the context of future Vaughn revelations, though, it ends up feeling like a happy accident.Â
Also, it helps when you have a good actor doing the interrogation, and Richard Lewis is really great here.
Itâs striking how well the Bangkok mission works here, particularly given that itâs not significantly structurally different from Sydneyâs usual missions, which have to a large degree worn out their welcome. Some particular factors: Irina / Lena Olin has more stage presence than Sydney / Jennifer Garner; the background music is excellent; Ilya Stuka gets to show quite a bit of character in a very short amount of time, and the fact that there is history between he and Irina helps. Perhaps most important, though, is that the mission reveals character in a way Sydneyâs missions have long since stopped doing.Â
While the major twist hereâIrina has been stringing the C.I.A. along from the start, and has now rejoined Sloane and Sarkâno longer surprises (I wonder if it ever did), that doesnât stop this episode from being among the best in the season, thanks, largely, to one thing: after being on ice for most for most of the season, SpyMommy really gets to shine, and boy does she. Â Whatâs more, she gets to shine with Jack, who, despite the seasonâs efforts, remains a much better screen partner for her than Sydney isâmore on that in the season review.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (31.25%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Eleven (69.75%)
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Fine.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
 Sydney and Francie talk about the weirdness between them. They pass again once Sydney informs Francie about work. Sydney tells Alia to come with her.  Sydney apologizes to Francie about missing their planned hangout.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
âFrancie Calfoâ
Diane Dixon
Joyce
Alia Gizabi
Male Characters:
Arvin Sloane
Michael Vaughn
Sark
Marshall Flinkman
Kendall
Weiss
Jack Bristow
Amhad Kabir
Marcus Dixon
Will Tippin
Fleming
Additional Notes:
Double standards ahoy: the first(!) time we see Sydney having to make contact with a woman in a mission, and her alias is that of an old woman.
On that note, Sydneyâs old-person makeup is terrible.
Making a Muslim woman in hiding reside in a Vatican embassy is certainly a choice. Â Itâd probably be waaaay less bothersome if Alia were more of a character, of if the choice werenât almost entirely about the imagery, but alas.
After being the source of vague portents for most of the series so far, Rambaldi actually results in something concrete: a weapon that causes people within a specific range to spontaneously combust. Sure.
Three episodes after âPhase One,â and Alias is at a bit of a flail. Sure, we now have Sloane as an open antagonist, but even with that, it still feels as if the series has lost something, without a ready replacement.Â
The best part of this episode is easily the Dixon plot, which at least has some resonance, because itâs very easy to understand where heâs coming from. I wish, though, that more time had been taken with it, instead of bringing him back to the fray already. Granted, the series doesnât really have time for things going on outside the spy-realmânot anymoreâbut still, having him cave so easily feels dismissive of his very real problems. He has every right to be not okay with things, and yet that is, according to the show, far less important than saving Sydney. It feels like cheating.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (23.81%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Fourteen (76.19%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Fineânot bad, not great.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
 Sydney and Irina about the former graduating and leaving the C.I.A.  âFrancieâ congratulates Sydney on graduating. Elsa Caplan asks Sydney her name.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Irina Derevko
Elsa Caplan
âFrancie Calfoâ
Diane Dixon
Male Characters:
Michael Vaughn
Kendall
Jack Bristow
Aaron Caplan
Neil Caplan
Sark
Will Tippin
Arvin Sloane
Marcus Dixon
Marshall Flinkman
Mr. Johnson
Tobias Dennet
Antonyn Vassily
David
Claude Sheurer
Peter Kunz
Additional Notes:
Like Ethan Hawkeâs role last episode, the major guest star role here appears to have been conceived with the perception that a big enough nameâin this case Christian Slaterâwould render unnecessary the act of actually making him interesting. No, dude, I donât actually care about your random family or marital troubles.Â
Sydney going from still taking classes in season one to graduating in season twoâa time span that, regardless what the series claims, should actually comprise only roughly three trimestersâis the second least plausible âreal worldâ thing in the series, after Francieâs restaurant.Â
Fake Francie is reeeeally bad at pretending to be real Francie.Â
While Iâm really glad both Dixons are getting time to not be okay with the truths that have been kept from them, I feel that they should be waaaay less okay about it than they actually are. Diane mentions that Marcus worked for the people who made America less safe, but doesnât mention the obvious implication: that he himself mightâand most likely didâmake America less safe. Â Diane should be considering the absolute worst possibilities: that Dixon actually knew about SD-6. That heâs killed and might kill again. That he has another family elsewhere. Similarly, Dixon should be second-guessing everything he did while at SD-6. While the things weâve seen him actually do have been largely innocuous, the truth should have made him question everything. His reaction feels far too muted.
While it is real fun to see Marshall take to the actual C.I.A. like a fish to water, I do wish things had been less easy. Not for him, specifically, but for someone who made the leap from SD-6 to actual C.I.A.
I really wish more had been made of the fact that multiple people in Sydneyâs lifeâpeople who are ostensibly on her sideâopenly tried to emotionally blackmail her into doing their bidding.
See, show? You can make a convincing disguise for a character without resorting to brownface or yellowface.Â
After the tangent that was âDouble Agent,â we now return to the main story, in what is largely a transitional episode dealing with the consequences of the big SD-6 takedown. It kind of works, in that the things that it explores it explores well. Still, the problem hereâwhich is a problem with the larger seriesâis that this should all feel bigger. In keeping its focus squarely on the main cast, the series takes what should be a huge dealâSD-6 is no moreâand makes it seem much smaller than it actually is. Â
Weâre told that Dixon and Marshall have been cleared to work for the C.I.A. Is this an offer that was made for everyone else at SD-6 without knowledge of the truth? Was the only consideration knowledge, or did they consider individual agentsâ actions? Â Did anybody take into account the fact that Dixon killed several C.I.A. agents in the previous season? Was anybody prosecuted, or were they all left in the wind? Â Nikita got an entire season out of the question of what happens when an organization like SD-6 is taken down but you still have to deal with its people: I would have liked to have seen Alias explore that for at least one episode. Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Four (30.77%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Nine (69.23%)
Positive Content Rating:Â
Two.
General Episode Quality:Â
A mess.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Christine tells Sydney sheâs read her file. Â Sydney consoles Christine. Â
Female Characters:
Emma Wallace
Sydney Bristow
Christine Phillips
âFrancie Calfoâ
Male Characters:
âJames Lennoxâ / Renzo Markovic
Arvin Sloane
Michael Vaughn
Weiss
Kendall
Jack Bristow
Rick McCarthy
Arden Kezek
James Lennox
 Other Notes:
Weiss, I realize Sydney and Vaughn are a thing, but that doesnât actually mean you can just make a pass at your new colleague.
Not!Francie needs to do a much better job of impersonating Francie.
The Sydney and Vaughn moments are easily the best parts of this episode.
Bin Laden gets mentioned this episode, which is a weird intrusion of the real into the showâs more fantastical take on global politics. This episode in general feels as if itâs trying to be more realistic than Alias usually is, which makes it feel exceedingly odd as the introductory episode itâs supposed to be.Â
One more for the âwhat even is our moral code anyway?â file: Vaughn injecting a goon with a poison that will kill him if he doesnât do what they ask.
I donât even understand why they had Ethan Hawkeâs character kiss Sydney, particularly since in the end, itâs not a clue hinting that heâs not the real deal. It feels like something that happens because there was no way that Ethan Hawke wasnât going to kiss Jennifer Garner, which is a terrible thing to have to suspect.
Of all the things I donât like about this episode is that the one new character with the most potential, and which Iâd have liked to see more of is also the one that gets horribly killed.Â
 Well, this is odd.
The story goes that until it was decided (fairly early on, from all appearances) that âPhase Oneâ would be Aliasâ Super Bowl episode, it was âDouble Agentâ that was slated to fill that role. That detail goes on to explain a lot of this episodeâs weirdness, such as the introduction of a character who exists almost entirely to permit characters to be introduced and then never appears again, to the extremely male gaze-y shots of Sydney exiting a pool, to, most notably, the episodeâs guest star Ethan Hawke, one year after his Oscar nomination, who gets unprecedented focus in a way that makes this episode feel less like Alias and more like an Alias tie-in novel: itâs got familiar faces and concepts, but thereâs too much that feels off.Â
Alias so far has not been a series that is comfortable with characters. It has often faltered when it comes to those outside its core cast (and sometimes those within it) relying largely on solid actors to elevate what are often underwritten roles. As it has progressed, it has dispensed almost entirely with missions involving people and doubled down on missions involving MacGuffins, which makes this story an outlier, at least at this point in the seriesâ history.
Unfortunately, if this episode proves anything, itâs perhaps that Alias was right in avoiding character-centered missions. Very little about this story works. Â While the writers attempt to make James Lennox something more than a random C.I.A. agent, what they do is saddle him with manpain, and some vague talk about identity that would feel a lot more appropriate if the showâs explorations into Sydneyâs psyche werenât shallower than a puddle. The episodeâs villain, meanwhile, fares even worse; nothing about him makes sense, and heâs nothing but a gimmick to introduce doubling technology. The writers were very clearly relying on the Ethan Hawkeness of both characters to make them interesting, but Ethan Hawke is not that sort of actor, so what we get instead is an episode focused on characters we care nothing about, are incredibly boring, and will never see again. If it werenât tangentially tied to last episodeâs plot twist, this would be utterly disposable; even with that connection, itâs really not worth watching. An extreme letdown, after last episode. Â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
 Four (23.53%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
 Thirteen (76.47%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Exciting, if somewhat empty. Â
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Super Bowl watchers donât want to see women talking, apparently.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Francie Calfo
Diane Dixon
âFrancie Calfoâ
Male Characters:
Gils Macor
Jack Bristow
Dixon
Michael Vaughn
Weiss
Kendall
Anthony Geiger
McCullough
Arvin Sloane
There is so damn much to say about this episode. How itâs colored by the fact that itâs a Super Bowl Episodeâan episode designed to appeal to a new, broader audience who might not have otherwise watched the show. How it irrevocably alters the showâs status quo, and why it does so. How itâs often (unfairly, I feel) identified as the point the show jumped the shark. Â How itâs both the series at its most exciting while arguably also being made up of largely empty calories. Â
Letâs start with the initial scene, where Sydney literally parades in lingerie as part of her latest mission, which has her impersonate a sex worker in order to get close to a person with access that will allow her to take down SD-6. Twice. Itâs both the apex of a practice the show has indulged in beforeâusing Sydneyâs aliases as a way to justify placing Jennifer Garner in a variety of sexy costumesâand also an outlier: the sequence exists the way it does entirely because the showrunners wanted to draw in new viewers sticking around after the Super Bowl. Â
There are several things that bug me about this sequence. The first and most obvious is that, this was the first impression J.J. Abrams and company thought needed to be made, which is quite telling. Given that nothing in the series ever suggests that the writers ever considered queer women, itâs quite clear who is being prioritized here, both within the story and a TV showâespecially since the episode also has her note, for the first time, that she does not particularly care for being dressed this way (something more than borne out by her usual style). Â
Also bothersome is the fact that Sydneyâs alias is that of a sex worker, because while the series has been more than happy to have Sydney (and the few other female characters weâve seen) be sexy, and sometimes even seductive, it seems far less comfortable with allowing her to be sexual, even when performing a job that in popular perception requires it. Sydney strutting down the airplane hallway is good enough to do twice, the series suggests; actually having sex with her target, however, would have crossed a line and made Sydney unworthy of viewersâ support. Occasionally, weâve seen this belief suggested textually: the disdain with which Macorâs reliance on sex workers is talked about this episode and the way Anna Espinosa was introduced as evil Sydney by showing her having sex with her mark both suggests there is something wrong with non-romantic sex. Â
While Alias does not generally claim to be a feminist work, it is still somewhat unsettling to see a show that is ostensibly centered on a woman make these arguments. Itâs not surprisingâat allâbut still disappointing. I donât actually care to see Sydney having sex with random people for information, but this low-key slut-shaming doesnât work either. Â
As attention-grabbing as the initial sequence is, however, itâs only a drop in the bucket to what is largely an innocuous episode. Most of what is notable about âPhase Oneâ has little to do with what it is doing and everything to do with how it is doing it. This is the big âblow up the status quoâ episode: after this, SD-6 and the Alliance are no more; the seriesâ core premise is, for all intents and purposes, over and done with.
Back when this first aired, the fact that the show would just up and end its central conflict in the middle of its second season was treated as shocking and daring; in retrospect, it feels much less so. Â While there are still no obvious-in-retrospect in-story hints that this would happenânot a point in the episodeâs favorâone can see, given how the seriesâ focus shifted from SD-6 to the C.I.A., that the writers had gotten somewhat bored with the double agent shenanigans. Something like this was always going to happen, and given the details of the premise, it arguably needed to happen sooner rather than later.
(Itâs also been well-documented that the timing of SD-6â˛s end was dictated largely in part by the perception that people found the series hard to follow, and a desire to accommodate those people. While I have some sympathy for these claims, and find them believableâespecially since the writers had trouble keeping their continuity straight more than onceâit also feels shocking that the showrunners were willing to bend to this degree.)
What is still quite surprising, however, is how little interest there was on making this feel like a satisfying conclusion. The circumstances that bring down SD-6 relate to nothing Sydney or the C.I.A. had previously done. There is little sense of escalating stakes, with none of the established Alliance players in attendance, and with the major threatâJack at SD-6 being torturedâbeing a nearly direct replay of what had occurred on the episode immediately preceding this one. Sloaneâs replacement at SD-6 is someone weâd never seen or heard from before, and gets taken down without a fight. At no point does it feel like the people assaulting SD-6 are in danger. Â While the events of the episode are not completely divorced from things that have gone on beforeâthey occur as a direct consequence of Sloaneâs exit last episode, and is part of his ongoing plan with Sark and perhaps SpyMommyâwhat they do is make the end of SD-6 the beginning of a new story, rather than the end of one. Â It also denies viewers a sense of proper satisfactionâsurely the end of SD-6 should come because of Sydney? Â And yet, she is ultimately largely irrelevantâa tool in somebody elseâs story. The showâs original premise, thus, is rendered an inconvenienceâsomething to be discarded as dramatically as possible. Â
This isnât to say that the episode doesnât workâmost of it does, quite well. Â Dixon gets what is possibly his finest moment in the series, and gets to be the lynchpin of the episode. Â The Sydney / Vaughn ship finally sets sail with a great kiss. The ending is shocking. It all feels lush and big and exciting. Â In the end, though, itâs not the finale I wanted it to be. Â
Other Notes:
Because this episode is aimed at potential new viewers, there are a bunch of scenes and conversations that exist solely so that these new viewers can be caught up to speed. While I appreciate the effort, these scenes now seem dated and intrusive, if sometimes charmingly so.Â
On that note, part of restating the showâs premise is mentioning Danny for the first time in like a dozen episodes, in the process giving us much more detail than weâd ever gotten about him. Kinda too little too late, show.Â
This episodeâs big guest star is Rutger Hauer, who does his best but is let down by a story that doesnât have much time for him and a script that doesnât allow him to be terribly memorable in the time he does have. Given that his mayor role involves him stumbling upon the fact that Sydney and Jack are double agents and torturing Jack, I really wish theyâd allowed Ariana Kane to stay for one more episode and merge the two stories. But that would have defeated the purpose of the story.Â
Weâre told that Sloane is acting director of SD-6, which is either an error or one heck of a thing to slip into when itâs no longer relevant. While it answers some questions (like why he wasnât a senior partner at the Alliance) it also raises far more (why is he still acting director after seven years)?Â
HOW IS FRANCIEâS RESTAURANT MAKING A PROFIT AFTER SIX MONTHS?
Sydney mentions the Alliance to Dixon, with the full expectation that heâll understand what sheâs talking about. This raises a question: if SD-6 agents know about the Alliance, how does SD-6 justify never actually doing anything to try and bring it down? As a friend of mine noted, the entire premise of SD-6 is creaky as hell.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (29.41%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Twelve (70.59%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
A letdown.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
After a conversation that is exclusively about guys, Francie and Sydney pass when Francie tells Sydney theyâre going out for cocktails. Â
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Ariana Kane
Irina Derevko
Francie Calfo
Emily Sloane
Male Characters:
Jack Bristow
Blake
Marshall Flinkman
Dixon
Arvin Sloane
Michael Vaughn
Weiss
Karl Schatz
Patton Birch
Claude Rousseau
Rick McCarthy
Kendall
Other Notes:
Good reversal, with Sydney pulling off a vehicular rescue of her father.Â
Sydney reaches new heights of unprofessionalism this episodeâyouâre a spy Sydney: youâre not entitled to know everything that is going on in the workplace. It feels especially egregious just a couple of episodes after sheâd said that she now understood that keeping secrets was something done out of love.
Marshall is such a sweetheart, giving Dixon and Sydney gifts for thanking them.Â
I appreciate the callbacks to Jean Briault. Continuity!
Yay, Weiss is back! Boo, heâs now pushing for the Sydney / Vaughn ship, after being the voice of reason last season. Â
After the previous episode established Ariana Kane as a formidable antagonist, this one undoes most of that goodwill by keeping her at a remove from the action and by having parties on both sides act like idiots for the purposes of ship drama. Â If it werenât for the excellent twist at the end, Iâd call this one a failure.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Four (30.77%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Nine (69.23%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
A worthy follow-up to the previous episode.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â Â
Francie suggests Sydney quit the bank.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Francie Calfo
Irina Derevko
Ariana Kane
Male Characters:
Will Tippin
Marshall Flinkman
Michael Vaughn
Kendall
Jack Bristow
Arvin Sloane
Craig Blair
Dixon
Rick McCarthy
Other Notes:
One would think that a series which introduces a massive surveillance system would actually tackle the implications surrounding its existence, but not Alias. While Will does ask whether such a system is unconstitutional, Sydneyâs response is a tepid âwell, the people in charge say they donât abuse it, and I believe them.â
Francie doesnât get nearly as much screen time as she deserves, show: donât waste it by using it to have her argue that she should totally quit her job for Vaughn. In fact, that whole D-plot is badânot enough to ruin the episode, but it is completely unnecessary. Give Vaughn more credit than that.
I like how the show pulls back the curtain on TV production techniques in order to show how SpyDaddy can fake being in places he hasnât been to. Â
While Iâm glad to see Jackâs murder of Haladki from last season have consequences, the way its inserted here really doesnât work. Â Ariana claims that the fact that Jack used an SD-6 gun to kill someone on the same day Emily was killed makes Jack suspicious, but Emily wasnât killed that day. The day Haladki was killed was the day Sloane âkilledâ Emily, weeks before she was actually killed.
Marshallâs reference to Audiogalaxy never fails to amuse me.
This rewatch has really gotten me noticing some of the background players at the C.I.A. If only they were more than, essentially, recurring extras.Â
Irina is such a boss.
This is a really good episode for both Dixon and Marshall, the sort that makes me resent how much the new status quo has reduced their overall screen-time. Â SD-6 shenanigans remain, on average, more interesting than C.I.A. shenanigans.Â
While this is not peak Alias, this is very close to being ideal Alias: (almost) everything is firing on all cylinders.
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (41.67%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Seven (58.33%)
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Great fun.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Sydney and Irina talk at the exercise yard. Â Alice greets âRita.â
Female Characters:
Irina Derevko
Sydney Bristow
Francie Calfo
Ariana Kane
Alice
Male Characters:
Jack Bristow
Will Tippin
Arvin Sloane
Sark
Michael Vaughn
Marshall
Thatcher Powell
Other Notes:
Irina Derevko vs. fly: hot.
âI was a fool to think that any ideology could come between me and my daughter,â Irina says, during her heart-to-heart with Sydney. While the source is unreliable, at this point I feel itâs fairly clear that Alias does truly believe that biological family trumps everything else, which is not a message I have a lot of time for, and especially not the way Alias tells it. Case in point, this episode has Sydney express that her warming feelings towards Irina result from the fact that she feels Irina is acting more like a mother to her, which is certainly a take.
Willâs response to Sydneyâs comments about her time in Kashmir is very funny, and it reminds me that we havenât gotten nearly enough domestic scenes this season. Â
While the the MacGuffin this weekâaccess to a low-rent version of the Machine from Person of Interestâis rather undercooked, itâs miles more interesting that anything having to do with Rambaldi, because the stakes and implications are immediately clear, even when the series is dead set on ignoring half of them.
While this season so far has done a somewhat better job of giving Sydney aliases that go beyond âhot [person]â, thereâs still a noticeable disparity between the performances sheâs allowed to give, versus the performances her male partners are allowed to give. Yes, Marshallâs performance is meant to be somewhat buffoonish, in contrast to Sydneyâs polish. Still, in the end, itâs his performance that is actually funny and memorable and revealing, while Sydneyâs is just there.
While I have reservations about the greater variety of mission partners paired with Sydney this season, I have no complaints about her and Sarkâs mission in Paris this episode, especially when he gets too look like this:
This episode isnât as lauded as âThe Passage,â but itâs the better episode in my books, thanks to more defined character work. Marshall has shone as a background character, and he does just as well with the increased focus, which gives the episode emotional stakes which feel more genuine than what Alias usually manages. Plus, we get a nice balance of character focus (although Dixon is sadly M.I.A.) and the return of a familiar and welcome face, all of which help make the episode perhaps my favorite of this bunch.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Two (13.33%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Thirteen (86.67%)
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Alright.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Irina tells Sydney about security in the facility theyâre infiltrating. Sydney asks about mines in PRF territory, and Irina asks about school. Â Irina tells Sydney to rest. Â
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Irina Derevko
Male Characters:
Rick
Michael Vaughn
Kendall
Craig Blair
Jack Bristow
Rajive
Sark
Arvin Sloane
Ramon
Alain Christophe
Gerard Cuvee
Marshall
Arshad
Other Notes:
This episode reminds us for the first time this season that Sydney is a grad student, and tells us that sheâs working on her dissertation. While this part of Sydneyâs life never got the most attention, the fact that it is only now that we even get a hint of it tells you a lot about the seriesâ changed priorities.Â
I like Jackâs contact. Heâs got personality, and I always like it when the series references the older generationâs past lives.Â
That said, not all nods of that sort work. Gerard Cuvee, introduced this episode as a former colleague of Irinaâs, is a really bland antagonist, with nothing beyond the actorâs previous working relationship with Lena Olin to make him stand out.
On a similar note, I want to acknowledge all the work the writers of these two episodesâDebra J. Fisher and Erica Messer for part one and Crystal Nix Hines for part twoâto flesh out Kashmir and its geopolitics: Iâm not sure it could be considered good, but it is, by far, the best job the series has done in giving a sense of place to its locationsâespecially in comparison to episodes like âThe Counteragent.â It feels like a specific place with an existence independent from that of Spy Family, which is something the series very rarely achieves or even attempts.
I remain uncertain whether the disguises the SpyFamily don this episode constitute brownface or not; if theyâre wearing makeup to darken their skin, itâs subtle enough that I cannot easily tell. Still, given past precedent, it canât be really ruled out.
This episode, more than any previously, makes the best case for Rambaldi ultimately being an unnecessary liability for the series. The episode worked perfectly well as the story the spy family preventing SD-6 from obtaining nukes; however, once itâs all revealed to be about Rambaldi, any sense of stakes the story had disappears. The writers havenât done the job of convincing us that itâs all as important as characters believe it is, so thereâs no reason to be invested in Sydney and companyâs success.
This two-parter is often held up as among the best season two has to offer; itâs certainly emblematic, and not in a great way. Sure, itâs fun when itâs all Spy Parents bickering, but as with the Rambaldi reveal at the end, itâs all rather empty.
The big change at the end here is meant to be the shift in Sydneyâs relationship with Irina, as the former starts seeing the latter in a more benign light. And yet, the work to get there has not been done, despite the fact that this was ostensibly all that the two-parter was about. Yes, Irina did not betray Sydney in this instance, and yes, Irinaâs life was more complicated than Sydney believed (at least, if Irina is to be believed, which is far from a given). And yet, none of this actually addresses the two chief sources of tension Irina presents: that Irina was an enemy of the United States and continued to be an enemy of the United States until she turned herself in for reasons she has yet to explain; and that Irinaâs life parallels Sydneyâs to a degree NO ONE HAS ACKNOWLEDGED YET. These two episodes should have been where the series hashes out these matters. Instead, it sort of suggests that the stuff sheâs done she did under duress, and that Irina displaying the ability to be maternal somehow solves everything, which is nonsense. Granted, Sydney has always been fickle when it comes to her feelings towards people, but as a TV showâas a storyâAlias needed more.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Three (23.08%).
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
Ten (76.92%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Three
General Episode Quality:Â
Fun times.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Irina tells Sydney that she needs to be temporarily let go. Â Francie asks Sydney if she wants to go to the spa. Sydney asks Irina for help retrieving the warheads. Â Irina asks if Sydney is alright after a shootout in Kashmir.
Female Characters:
Sydney Bristow
Irina Derevko
Francie Calfo
Male Characters:
Sark
Jack Bristow
Arvin Sloane
Dixon
Marshall
Kendall
Michael Vaughn
Zoran Sokolov
Will Tippin
Saeed Akhtar
Other Notes:
While itâs good to see Dixon object to Sark now working with SD-6, I really wish heâd pointed out that Sark had worked for the same people whoâd broken into their HQ last season.
The SD-6 mission at the start of the episode feels as if it were from an entirely different show, what with it involving an actual extended conversation with someone who is actually not very nice, who then just goes on with his day.
Lena Olinâs pronunciation of the word âsabotageâ is distressingly sexy.
Will is doing his best, and is not getting enough appreciation from the C.I.A. :(
(At least Vaughn is there for him.)Â
All of the interactions between the Bristows are gold, but Iâm particularly fond of Jackâs âyour motherhood is a biological fact with no substantive value in Sydneyâs life,â which is kind of rich for this series.Â
We know the Peopleâs Revolutionary Front is made out of true believers because nobody in the group actually ever audience-tested that name.
This woman only appears for five seconds, but I want to know everything about her.
After building towards it all season, we finally get all three members of the Spy Family together on the field, and it is great. More next post.Â
How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?
Five (29.41%)
How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?
 Twelve (70.59%).
Positive Content Rating:Â
Two
General Episode Quality:Â
Insulting.
MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:
Passing the Bechdel:Â
Francie asks Sydney for her opinion on Francieâs bouillabaisse. Sydney and Irina talk about the antidote for the Rambaldi virus. Â
Female Characters:
Irina Derevko
Sydney Bristow
Francie Calfo
Alice
Abigail
Male Characters:
Michael Vaughn
Doctor Nicholas
Will Tippin
Kendall
Rudman
Jack Bristow
Agent Chapman
Arvin Sloane
Sark
Marshall
Claus Richter
Henry Fields
Other Notes:
Vaughn doesnât try to keep his illness secret. Good for him.Â
Sydneyâs all okay with Project Christmas, apparently. That the plotline is now apparently a Will story feels like a demotion, even if Iâm glad it gives him something to do.Â
Sydneyâs apparently okay with Jack, too. What were the last three episodes there for, then?Â
Abbie! Given how important Willâs job last season was, Iâm glad to see at least one character from that circle return.
Mentioned but not shown last season, we finally get to see Alice, Vaughnâs girlfriend and then ex. On one hand, Iâm really happy they didnât try to make her a TV show smokeshow. On the other hand, she feels very much like a character existing solely to create romantic angst the show does not need. Irinaâs conversations with Vaughn about his feelings for Sydney feel the same way.Â
The crux of this episode is that Sydney is coerced to hand over Sloane to Sark so that he can be killed, in exchange for the antidote to the virus that is killing Vaughn. The fact that this is presented as a shocking moral dilemma that no right-minded person would consider is ridiculous in theory, and only more so in execution, as we have characters like Kendall asserting, in all seriousness, that âAmerican intelligence agents are not in the business of committing murderâ âan excellent candidate for most unintentionally funny line in the series. Aliasâ sense of right and wrong has always been incoherent, and here thatâs stretched to the breaking point.
While Sloane being in hot water with the Alliance after SD-6â˛s recent failures is somewhat consistent with what weâve seen this season, it also doesnât make a whole lot of sense. Are those failures disappointing? Sure. That said, they should also be a drop in the bucket, given what weâve been told of SD-6â˛s operations. Just because Sydneyâs missions are all we see doesnât mean itâs all thatâs going on, show. Â
Where to start with that Japan sequence. With the writers deciding that Japan means geishas? With the yellowface, and the assertion that Sydney can somehow pass as Japanese? With Jennifer Garnerâs painful command of the language? Â With the music, which is exactly like what youâd expect it to be, given everything else? I canât say itâs worse than the brownface sequence last season, but that doesnât mean that itâs not racist as fuck.
Letâs be clear: the twist at the end, where it turns out that, yeah, Sark did not intend to kill Sloane at all, is still very good. Not only is it genuinely surprising while still making sense, itâs exciting and manages to keep the general status quo will also changing the details in very important ways. It is not, however, nearly enough to make up for the episodeâs many other problems.