The plaguing chaos within our minds

Welcome one and all the the pity party of the week, next week’s meeting has yet to be determined but be ready just in case.  Today’s topics, “how you’re a fucking idiot”.  

Voice 1: Well you knew this was gonna happen

Voice 2: It’s not his fault, things just turned out bad

Me: Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have been ready for the possibility

Voice 1: You were always too fucking nice; letting people walk all over you, putting yourself out there to be walked on, be abused.  It’s sad that you do this to yourself.  

Voice 2: How can you say that?

Voice 1: Shut the fuck up, you saw this shit unravel just like I did.  This piece of shit here wants to act like he’s changed, that he’s smarter, knows better.  All this motherfucker has done has come up with new ways so coat the bullshit and play ignorant.  Well too fucking bad loser, the shit it the fan like it always did and look where you’re at now.  Nothing’s changed, you just can’t lie to yourself or us anymore

Voice 2: Whats wrong with having faith in people?  Whats wrong with trying to believe in something better?  Can you blame him for trying?

Voice 1: Can I?  You bet your fuckin ass I can.  This sad sack of shit hasn’t changed one bit.  New faces, same fucking outcome.  This fuckin loser doesn’t get it; you can’t trust people.  Fuck, this sad piece of shit can’t even trust himself.  Lies to himself more than he lies to everyone else.  And you and me got front row tickets to this fuckin moronic daytime drama.  Face it, he’s a pussy that’s afraid of being alone and forgotten.  He puts himself out there just to get hurt cuz that’s the only way he can interact with people.  Stop trying to see the good when this fuckin sap just makes it up on the spot to make himself feel better.  

Me:  You’re right...

Voice 1:  I’m always fuckin right, aint no good left in this world and you fuckin know that.  Your whole life is a lie.  

Voice 2:  Don’t.  You’re going too fa-

Voice 1: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  Pussy boy needs to hear this.  It’s over pal.  The shit is all over the fan and you can’t deny it now.  You were scared of being alone, that’s why you never went off to college.  You didn’t know what to do with your life, that’s why you let people make decisions for you.  Even when you thought you were makin them yourself, you were just lying to yourself to ease the pain and put it off.  Guess what, it’s here and you can’t run now you little bitch.  Face it, the world is fucked and you don’t even like being apart of it.  Do you even feel anything anymore?  Poor schmuck can’t even face the truth about himself and there he goes tellin people “I want to help people”.  Poor fuck can’t even help himself.  Should’ve offed yourself when you had the chance.  “Ohh it’s gonna hurt, it wont solve the problem”, do you know how many people have it worse than you?  Do you?  Do you think their problems get any better?  That people will help them when they can’t even help themselves?

Voice 2: You didn’t need to say all that...

Voice 1:  Quit coverin for his bitch ass, you’re apart of the reason we’re in this fuckin mess with this sack of shit here.  Always coddlin him, trying to justify his fuckin stupid mistakes and reasoning.  Face it, you’re a loser and will die alone.  Either live with that realization or just kill yourself now.  You’re wasting a lot of time and effort from everyone else.

Voice 2:  Don’t listen to hi-

Me:  He’s right.... about all of it.  You know it too.  The lies gotta stop.  They were convenient and justifiable, but look where’s it’s gotten me.  Y’all wouldn’t be here if I faced all this from the beginning.  Maybe he’s right, maybe I should’ve offed myself back then.  Saved a lot of hassle.  

Voice 1: Oh shit, here he goes.  Trying to turn it around.  Fuckin A you’re retarded..

Me:  Let’s try it your way, change everything that needs changing.  Be different than how I am.  Let’s see if this works...

Voice 2: B-b-but-