PapySanzo

robby *hates* this. he's not angry at dennis of course, he's angry at the system that made his boy on and off homeless for almost three years. he hates that his dennis won't even buy a fresh vegetable because hes so worried about his next meal. robby knows he won't be able to change dennis and fix him fast, trauma like dennis's doesn't just go away as soon as he has place to live, but he can still spoil him. if they're "gifts", denny can't refuse.

any piece of clothing robby thinks dennis will like- he's got it. soft jumpers and new jeans and warm coats and fleeces and fun socks and even cashmere scarfs and hats for winter. real leather boots as well as converse, enough scrubs that he'd never have to rely on the hospital machine. dennis protests at first- what a collosol waste of money when his old clothing was fine! (it wasn't, it was worn and tattered and faded) but soon he realises robby can't be stopped. he still doesn't buy anything for himself, but he knows his protests do nothing against his boyfriend.

now the clothes are sorted, robby moves on to fun things. a fancy gaming console and the games that went with it so that his boy could play with his friends (dennis had sobbed and begged robby to send it back due to the cost, but the older was adamant, telling dennis he deserved to have fun- Trinity's delight somewhat helped dennis reckon with the gift), books upon books upon books, and stuffed animals galore.

so many stuffed animals. he'd been denied a single one during his childhood, and so dennis was presented with sharks and bears and puppies and birds and kittens, all fluffy and smiling and so, so cuddly. though he hated the expense, he soon found himself snuggling up close and holding them in his arms while robby held him in his. he slept well like that, both cuddled and cuddling. it warms robby's heart.

seeing dennis in good, well made clothes and fed good nutritious meals and reading new books and cuddling new toys all made robby the happiest man alive. of course, his dennis had a long way to go in terms of finding peace and security after homelessness (and robby was well aware that many of his tendencies would never go away), but being able to give his boy a good life and a comfortable life and a happy life was so important to him.

Commission I made for the author of this fic

Because it might very well be that he’s not in love with Robby -that his is just a small, trivial, truly tiny crush- but what if your crush touches you in bed as if you were the most precious thing in the world and fucks you as if it were the last time on earth?

Well, yeah, Dennis isn't exactly the brightest guy, but he doesn't feel like blaming himself entirely either, because when Robby looks at him, smiles, puts a hand on his shoulder, or talks about a friends with benefits arrangement, Dennis's brain just shuts down. How can you blame him?

And how can he keep his crush from turning into something more when Robby’s hands grab his hips and slam him onto the mattress, ordering him to stay still with that low, hoarse voice, full of control, that makes Dennis tremble right to the center of his chest?

How can he avoid becoming dependent on this man when Robby is dissecting him piece by piece, stripping him of every coherent thought, and drawing him into a world that Dennis has never known before meeting him?

How can he keep his word when all the relationships (few, brief, fleeting) he had before Robby didn't have even a tenth of the intensity he feels for him?

Dennis is trembling, moaning; he knows he’s begging to come while Robby tells him no, while Robby brings him so close that Dennis gasps harder and feels his muscles twitch, but then he stops, and Dennis doesn’t know how he has all this self-control -he doesn’t know how Robby manages to stay still, just a few beads of sweat on his temples and down his neck, while Dennis is literally trembling and begging- but Robby looks at him with deep eyes and an adoring smile, and Jesus fuck, how the hell could Dennis possibly remain unaffected?

“Please, please, please,” Dennis pleads again, because Robby has been going at it for hours, and Dennis is sure that soon he’ll have no breath left in his lungs and that tomorrow he won’t even be able to walk.

But Robby is relentless, and he starts all over again, pushing him to the brink of the abyss and pulling him back, and so on for who knows how many times, until finally Dennis comes, his voice choked off -almost a hiss- because he’s been begging for so long that he’s lost his voice.

And Dennis’s mind suddenly goes silent.

He doesn’t know his name, he doesn’t know where he is, he can no longer feel the tips of his fingers or toes -he only knows that it feels like he’s been coming for an endless time, his abs are contracting, and Dennis is crying- out of relief, out of loss, because it’s the most beautiful moment of his entire life—and his ears are ringing, and Dennis doesn’t know where he is, but he knows he’s safe, that he’s protected, that he feels wonderful, and that he can rest.

Dennis comes to -he doesn’t even know how much time has passed- all he knows is that his body feels heavy, that his mind is still foggy, and that Robby is holding him close and whispering things that Dennis would like to hear for the rest of his life.

You did so good, sweetheart.

So precious.

Everything is okay, you are okay, I got you.

And Dennis knows he should say something, respond, get up, go wash up, and leave like he does every single time, but Dennis also feels like he’s on the verge of bursting into tears, and he doesn’t want to leave the spot next to Robby, and when Robby starts to move, Dennis clings to him with all his might.

“I’m just going to get a towel to clean you up.”

But Dennis shakes his head, opens his mouth to beg him not to go, to beg him to stay, but nothing comes out except a sob. And Dennis cries. And he’s mortified because what’s going on? But Robby doesn’t seem upset by it; on the contrary, he settles himself more comfortably in bed and pulls Dennis close, Dennis’s face nestled in the crook of Robby’s neck as he cries as if there were no tomorrow, and Robby strokes his back, his hair, kisses his forehead, whispers sweet words that Dennis wants to engrave in his heart, and doesn’t let him go for even a moment.

It wasn't until many hours later that Dennis woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was still at Robby's house, in his bed, resting against his chest as it rose and fell, and Dennis realized he must have fallen asleep at some point and, horrified, began to panic.

Because they don't do those kinds of things. Because Dennis doesn't stay over at Robby's, because as soon as they're done, Dennis leaves, because he doesn't want to impose himself, even though Robby very often asks him to stay for dinner or to stay and watch a movie -but Dennis knows Robby is just too kind to tell him to leave- and so now Dennis has absolutely no idea what to do.

It’s warm in Robby’s bed. It feels comfortable, and Robby’s chest rising and falling lulls him back to sleep, and Dennis doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do -get dressed and leave in the middle of the night? He doesn’t even know what time it is; he doesn’t even know where his clothes are, and he’d have to feel around for them. Maybe he could manage it; he doesn’t want to disturb Robby, but if-

“Go back to sleep”

Robby’s voice is hoarse from sleep and so close to Dennis’s ear that he feels himself shiver. And maybe that’s the right moment to pull away from Robby and give him some space and-

But Robby wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him closer -as if that were even possible- buries his nose in Dennis’s hair, and lets out such a deep sigh that when the air leaves his mouth, he seems to relax completely, as if having Dennis right there beside him helps him feel more at ease.

Dennis really can’t stay. If he’s having such stupid thoughts now, there’s no way he won’t find himself completely in love with his attending in less than a week.

But he can’t bring himself to leave. It’s already too much for him.

“Robby…” Dennis whispers against Robby’s chest, the hair on his chest tickling Dennis’s cheek.

"Mh?"

Dennis touches one of his pecs, plays with the chain Robby wears even while he sleeps, runs his fingers through his chest hair, and thinks that maybe this will be the last time he’ll be able to do something like this.

“I’m an idiot,” and he knows Robby will understand because Robby always understands everything.

Robby makes a sound of agreement that reverberates in his throat, and Dennis can hear it right next to his ear.

Robby holds him a little tighter.

Dennis's family has always made him feel like he wasn't good enough.

His relationship with Robby is helping him change his mind.

The deep snow, the cold that seeps into your bones despite layer upon layer of clothes, the nose that never stops running, and the inevitable colds.

But, to be perfectly honest, Dennis has always been a little envious of his classmates.

It snowed every year in Broken Bow; it has always snowed there, and it probably always will. Centimeters upon centimeters of snow piled up on top of each other until they formed nearly impassable walls.

Perfect for making snow angels, building snowmen, and having snowball fights- and then retreating to the warmth of home with a cup of hot chocolate in hand.

Not so perfect if you were part of the Whitaker family and, after school, had to help out on the farm -there was no time to waste playing with your friends.

And then you’d feel the weight of the snow that just wouldn’t stop falling. You’d feel your ankles sink into drifts of snow so deep that you’d find yourself knee-deep in it. And it didn’t matter what clothes you wore, what boots you put on, or what gloves you wore. There would always be parts of your body you wouldn’t feel until after dinner, chills that no hot bath could ever take away, and in the morning you had to shovel the snow from the driveway before going to school to make his father’s job easier, since he was now struggling with that kind of work.

For Dennis, snow was never fun. The cold was never something to savor before he could get back to the warmth in front of the fireplace. He much preferred summer. Sure, it was hot, but he could walk around in shorts, take shelter in the shade of the big trees, and drink an icy soda because his mom made lemonade in the summer.

There were never any Christmas holidays – the farm didn’t run itself – or Christmas markets to visit or carnival rides, at least not for them.

They could consider themselves lucky if their father didn’t make them work when they had a fever (but they never skipped school!), but he, like all his brothers, didn’t look forward to winter, and for years it was one of Dennis’s least favorite times of year.

Not anymore, though.

In Pittsburgh, too, the snow is falling heavily and the air is cold, and in Pittsburgh, too, Dennis’s fingers and toes freeze even though he no longer has to work for hours on end in the fields.

But now, when his hands and feet are frozen, Michael hands him a cup of hot chocolate as they curl up on the couch, and massages his feet, telling him that it feels like he’s caressing an ice pop rather than a body where blood should be flowing.

Now he spends his winters in bed in his boyfriend’s arms, tucking his icy feet between his calves, and Michael mumbles something in annoyance but never pushes him away, sighing and stroking his back in concentric circles, trying to warm him up even more.

Now he has fleece pajamas (even though Michael still sleeps in a T-shirt and boxers -but that man is a living furnace, so Dennis isn’t surprised by anything anymore) with horrible patterns printed on them, but he loves them with all his heart because Michael gave them to him and because he’s never felt such a soothing warmth during a winter.

Now Michael comes over with layer upon layer of blankets when they’re on the couch together and buries him under them, then pulls him close with one arm and lets him rest his head on his shoulder while they watch a movie (where Dennis falls asleep 9 times out of 10 shortly after it starts because he feels safe and cuddled)

Now he goes ice skating (and when Michael found out that Dennis had never worn a pair of skates in his life, he got him dressed and they went straight to a store to buy both rollerblades and ice skates. This seemed excessive to Dennis because he had no idea if he’d ever use them, but Michael wouldn’t hear any excuses) and snowball fights with friends after his shift at the hospital.

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

gosh I enjoy this website