It happens to be so.. @papasquatskis - Tumblr Blog

I remember crying out that night.

Listening to your soft, stifled cries now.

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I can’t help but wonder i am doing all this just to get back at him....

I wonder if I will ever get over it.

I wonder if I will ever let it go.

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And then all of a sudden things shifted to the right. I moved forwarded in time. A whole day ahead. My head throbbed at the thought, everyone I loved was a day behind me. On their own trajectory, hopefully still with their kite strings tied to something. Not like me.

Words rattle around in my head, but my voice is quiet, nonexistent. Soft spoken. Unspoken. My day is their night.

It’s like I’m just floating along. Alone. Untethered. Unattached. Hoping something will ground me...

I had no clue a year later I would feel just as lonely.

Literally got married with two bail bond guys as witness lolol

I’ve never felt so afraid in my life.

All the times of hardships and I’ve always had an escape route

And now I feel confined on this path to go to Japan with someone I barely know and don’t even really trust all the way. Our goals don’t match.

I think I should break up with him but I’m so scared.

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And then my whole world caved in at once. Dove into itself. Plummeted.

Now that we started, I don’t want to stop. It’s really negatively affecting us too

I just feel so frustrated. We should have never started trying.

Sometimes being me is a lot of fun. I feel very powerful.. but sometimes I have a deep darkness that comes out..

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I was thinking back today.

It’s hard to be in a new relationship. Hard to have trust, hard to have faith at times.

Keep me

Humble and kind. Please.

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It happens to be so..