this past year, something unexpected happened. it made me so sad and made me realize how alone & lonely i was. it made me feel like friends, who i thought would & did, didn’t care about me. didn’t care, didn’t 100% listen, wasn’t there for me. i’ve concluded that they don’t understand since they never experienced this heartache & everyone has their own life to deal with. it made me realize that i don’t need/want to work on friendships anymore. it makes me really sad when i think about how depressed I was and how I’ve changed from it. i felt like my life was on pause for a long time, i was drowning in my own thoughts for awhile... even though the pain will fade, i’m still going to need a lot of time to heal and it sucks because this is going to be something i will always remember. i need to forgive. everything just sucks, yknow? so weird and crazy.