my girlfriend called me the worst in a little fit of rage and it really took me back to when i was actually the worst. she may or may not have meant it. but maybe i haven’t changed.

life isnt getting any easier. enduring isnt getting any less painful. solutions arent getting any clearer.

day 1089 of wanting to put a bullet in my head

i hate hearing about things i didnt want to know. and i hate when i hear those things from people who know i dont want to know those things????? hello???

i cant imagine any kind of future for myself and that is so fucking scary ¨̮ like i literally cannot picture a realistic future scenario of my life in 5 years. Or even 1 year. Theres no way its gonna be the same as now. And i think that every year. But how can it get worse than this??

i almost texted you for help today but then my gut said something about that would make me feel worse for about a thousand different reasons. but i kept you unblocked in the off chance that one day you need my help.

this is what we get for pretending.

some of yall arent happy with where youre at and it shows.

I had my villain era already and it wasnt a good look. Im good.

old habits die hard

i have never felt so hated

leo partners, leo exes and leo friends are truly three completely different people.

unrelated but i just remembered i had a dream the other night that silver died and i couldnt bring myself to tell alana. i didnt know how. one of the more sucky dreams ive had lately. i dont know how i would delve up the courage to tell her. and i dont know if she would even care? thats kinda scary actually. i mean I don’t know if she would even care to know. or expect me to. I wonder if she ever thinks about her.