Wading in Pencil

Been doing test prints all day working off the rust and ironing out issues, but this one shows some promise.

The little red eye detail was added afterward with fine liner.

Started this vent/personal art quite a while ago. And as we all know, things only get more relevant. I don’t think it’s possible to be too on the nose when you’re channeling rage.

Linocut in progress, mirrored for your viewing pleasure. Art energy is all being thrown at the resistance here in Minnesota because we are literally under attack.

I’m furious with what is happening here. None of this is ok. The Gestapo thugs are endangering us in every imaginable way, but we still have our humanity.

If I can find the energy I’d love to make a Linocut out of this once I get it cleaned up.

Found myself unexpectedly ensnared in a sculpting urge which is exceedingly rare and ended up hyperfocusing on this moose. I learned a lot, including that I should make armature that will support antlers more sturdy at the joints.

Also found that I can’t work with clay any softer than sculpey super firm because I’m very clumsy and constantly dent everything I touch. As it is, I’m okay with the imperfections. But I still need to address the ears and the antler bases with more air dry clay. (Shows up white in the photos)

Last three photos are some wips: sorry about my work space, it’s not even remotely set up for sculpture. Maybe when it’s properly finished I will take better photos and video?

An abyss that laughs at creation

A circus complete with all fools

Foundations that lasted the ages

Then ripped apart at their roots

Beyond all this good is the terror

The grip of a mercenary hand

When savagery turns all good reason

There's no turning back, no last stand.

“Heart and Soul”- Joy Division

Blood orange. 🍊 🩸🔪

And in spite of the dumpster fire that roars around me... delivered at long last!

For the most patient of clients: Horses splashing cheerfully in a creek. What a lovely little spot.

95% watercolors, with assistance from gouache and colored pencils for finer adjustments (tones on the bay needed some lightening after I went too dark. First time for everything!)

Approx 12 x 17". Beam paints and Winsor & Newton watercolors and gouache with Caran d'Ache supracolor pencils on Arches 140 lb hot press watercolor paper. (+ some tears and an overdose of love for good measure)

“I have my color study and my fat stack of reference photos, what could go wrong?”

Untold hours later… and I’m still doing edits and color adjustments and doing my best not to panic. (And telling a reflection it needs to stop impersonating a shadow… 👀)

To be clear: considering how rusty I’ve become and how wild my anxiety has been, this has still come along better than I previously hoped. So that does count for something.

This year has tried to take too much from me, and the will or ability to make art was one of them. Why? *gestures at everything * The concept of getting back to watercolor was more or less eating me alive. I still haven’t quite unpacked why. I know the only way out is through.

Second horse piece of the year (after a freelance project that hurtled into my life a little while back.) These are my first timid steps back onto the scene and I guess I’m just relieved green and I are still friends. Not sure about those other colors though… will need more courage for that.

Better late than never! Happy Pride moth! Based on the love of my life, cecropia moths.

Forgot to commemorate the final orbit of my 30s with a ballpoint pallanoph doodle. Off model Qiara isn’t real, she can’t hurt you!

“Do it for her.”

In this cursed timeline we all have been cruelly subjected to, I can admit that this lil lady is the primary reason I get up in the morning. I owe her so much and it’s really not an exaggeration.

We’ve been working on training and working through leash reactivity (she’s a frustrated greeter so her crime is “too much excitement”) but she’s so smart and willing to please, and it’s more me being trained than anything. She has days when she can’t focus or listen, but that’s the same for me. And that’s ok.

She takes up a fair chunk of my free time (easily 85% of it) so commissions and daily tasks are taking a hit, but she’s helped me with my mental health so much in the aftermath of my serious illness so that’s a net positive. I will learn how to balance better in the future I hope.

So it’s been a while. And I feel obligated to explain my lengthy absence from… everywhere. My email is so full I’m low key terrified.

On New Year’s Eve, I found out the hard way I have asthma. I thought I was tackling a stubborn cold with a particularly nasty cough, but it culminated in a trip to the ER after I all but stopped breathing and felt hypoxic. My oxygen saturation had dropped into the 60s and I was put on oxygen. Went through the whole barrage of tests, chest x rays and blood draws. And the culprit? RSV and the asthma I had thought was imaginary. Despite my own body’s efforts to cancel my subscription to the bullshit year we are now living in, I was discharged after 6 hours just an hour before midnight. To put it simply, I felt like total shit but no longer in danger.

RSV knocked me and J absolutely flat for 2+ weeks. I still am dealing with fatigue and respiratory/cardio hiccups as I try to get back to how life was before. And before I could get to that point, life threw another wrench.

Raclette, my darling pup I had adopted back in October, who I was assured had been spayed (having come from the shelter where it is required) had gone into heat. Which leads me to believe that her first owners had (for whatever crazy reason) lied to the shelter about spaying her, and there were no records of her from before her time at the shelter. To say I was disappointed and alarmed is an understatement, and my suspicions were confirmed by our vet. Poor girl has been in a diaper for a week and a half and her spay is 3 weeks away. We are both miserable and I’ve had my hands full taking care of her. She’s restless at night so I’m not sleeping well, but I would never hold it against her.

So yeah! Art took a severe back seat, and I will need to reevaluate my relationship with art once the commission queue has been emptied. It’s gonna be an extremely rough year and I’m looking to find things that bring me more joy while taking better care of myself (and the dog). It’s a tall order but it needs doing!

Apologies, I’m justifiably livid and will be for… who knows how long.

Before I can find a way to put that to good use, here’s an equally angry sketch.

Someone’s pouting because I have to focus on painting. The torment!

Wake up, new cryptid just dropped!

It’s true that I’ve had to reimagine my day to day life since we got her, but I can’t imagine how we got this lucky. We thought we would have to work to earn her love, but from the moment she entered our house it’s been a cuddlefest, one I couldn’t possibly deny. There are hurdles she will be facing to be sure (and she will still need to meet the cats face to face) but I’m so happy to see this happy lil cheese every day. Welcome home Raclette!