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I will not self destruct or concede or just lay down and die. I refuse to be a victim of myself or the things I have say in

Fighting tooth and nail to not become like the people who hurt me. I’ve come this far I’m not collapsing now.

I can’t keep waiting for life to happen as I lick my wounds. It’s not fair to myself to keep picking at scabs as they’re trying to close just to satiate the incurable "why?" of what’s happened. The house is starting to stink, and it’s time to move the body

It’s meaningful speaking to yourself kindly, especially when you’re already tender. I feel like this is a common message, but the reminder can make a difference

I cannot keep allowing the memories of unsafe and unhealed people make me sick. I cannot even bring myself to rest for fear of another person stressing me out or stomping me out

People are going to tear into you anyways, the person who said people are too busy with themselves to judge you was more well adjusted than most. Let them say whatever, let them judge you and try to tear you down. If you don’t respect them (and you shouldn’t, at least not their behavior), and they clearly aren’t acting right or being safe—it will always been in your best interest to let go of as much as possible and release them if you’re able

Even just the thought of you has been making me so sick my skin is itching and flaking off like a reptile.

The only reason I don’t hate you is because I see that you’re still human. The only reason I forgive you is so I can finally rest and receive my happiness.

I want to cut everything out until only what’s necessary remains. My soul is too tired to care about pretty fluff, and that hurts because it used to matter so much to me.

I fantasize of slamming my front door in your face and laughing at you. I want to humiliate you even worse than you’ve made me feel dirty and stupid. But for the child in me I work on redirecting those thoughts. Never for you, not anymore.

It’s taking every ounce of humanity and goodness in me to not become terrible. I have beautiful things that await me and I’ll be damned if I allow the ghosts of my abusers— even some of them in the flesh, to take that from me too. I will remain gentle and kind, but I refuse to allow other people to cut my claws and file my teeth. That is NOT their choice or jurisdiction, and I WILL protect all of me now if I need to.

People have taken even some of my bones from me it feels like. It’s so hard packing up and moving forward when there are 20 or so hungry threads trying to trip me up and pull me back in so they can chew on what’s left.

I may never get my justice, and a part of me dies at the realization.