THEYâRE CREEPY AND THEYâRE KOOKY.
âł a collection of lines from the first season of netflixâs wednesday. these are in no particular order and will contain spoilers for the show. some lines have been edited for clarity or to give options.
âthose are all traits of great writers. and serial killers.â
âthe first boy/girl/person i kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster.â
âhow do you feel about scary movies?â
âwe work. we shouldnât, but we do.â
âhummers stick together.â
âbeing your friend should come with a warning label.â
âyou giggle when you text, which is a 24/7 addiction.â
â[name], the mark you have left on me is indelible.â
âi act as if i donât care if people dislike me. deep down⊠i enjoy it.â
âare you really going to make me ask?â
âi want to assure you i remain as cold and heartless as the first day we met.â
âiâll survive alone. i always do.â
âas soon as the dirt hits the coffin, iâm out.â
â[name] always looks half dead.â
âi actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.â
âif you need me for anything, anything at all, iâm only a crystal ball away.â
âeveryone would know i failed to get the job done.â
ânot hugging is kind of our thing.â
âthe only person who gets to torture my sibling is me.â
âyou guys are making me nauseous. not in a good way.â
âmy personal philosophy is kill or be killed.â
âyou growl in your sleep.â
âi donât know who etsy is, but i doubt she was an outcast settler.â
âif i am the monster, then why havenât i killed you?â
âfor some reason i cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me.â
âseriously, you could cut the tension with an executionerâs axe.â
âiâm not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material.â
âi will never fall in love, or be a housewife, or have a family.â
âi swear on my late scorpionâs soul, my hands are clean.â
âthey couldnât even spring for real pigâs blood. itâs only paint.â
âyou know the old saying: never bring a knife to a swordfight. unless itâs concealed.â
âthey want to turn me into a version of herself.â
âi find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.â
âit takes a special kind of stupid to devote an entire theme park to zealots responsible for mass genocide.â
âemotions are a gateway trait. they lead to feelings, which trigger tears. i donât do tears.â
âyouâre really bad at cheering people up.â
âthis reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit. you were so happy you nearly smiled.â
âthereâs that biting sense of humor that i always adored.â
âif he breaks your heart, iâll nail-gun his.â
âwhy would i share information about an ongoing investigation with a high school kid?â
âdonât you want eyes and ears behind those ivy-covered walls?â
âdid you think i was going to judge you over some lousy prank?â
âi consistently stalk my parents.â
âi brought my pocket mace. the medieval kind.â
âitâs not my fault i canât interpret your emotional morse code.â
âthereâs nothing quite like the feeling of being proven right.â
âiâd rather stick needles in my eyes. iâll probably do that anyway.â
âif you hear me screaming bloody murder, thereâs a good chance iâm just enjoying myself.â