Realizing more than ever how lonely this all is.
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@painstarrrr
Realizing more than ever how lonely this all is.

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Rant under cut TW 3d
Sometimes in like “meh im barely disordered” and then i got to a social thing where people are like talking about how craaazy it is for people to not eat for long periods of time/not eat breakfast/thinking taking metamucil is like crazy person behaviour and im like …..
Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)
Tryna kick my meds is making me kinda wild ngl
I shoulda put my rant under a cut but fuck it we ball*
*(don’t know how to use tumblr mobile)
K i figured it out, literally so easy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I shoulda put my rant under a cut but fuck it we ball*
*(don’t know how to use tumblr mobile)
K i figured it out so WL and BED rant under the partition
Since i became active on here, i have been in the most control i have ever been in my whole life (im almost 30). I feel like i have fought back against my BED and… maybe i’ll never be normal about food. But i have gained a shit ton of muscle and shed so much f@t. Clothes i wore in HIGH SCHOOL are FALLING OFF of my body. I havent been this weight since i did kayla itsines (WHO REMEMBERS) and weight watchers concurrently after a break up when i was 19!!!!! (That is 0 for 3) That was 10 years ago!!!
Like deep inside im fucked up but it feels good to be in a body that is more accepted and less “obscene.” It’s like im living a different life. People treat me so differently. It’s FUCKED actually. Cuz i was never really big. I have lived in a straight sized (size 4-8, s-m) body and still my body wasnt good enough. I wish this shit didn’t matter!!! I wish food wasnt engineered by evil companies go give us @ddictions and BED. I wish we just could all have access to normal healthy food. I wish losing didnt FEEL SO GOOD. BUT IT DOES.
Just barely still in 120’s jail 🥲 but i also weighed myself in my clothes at work in the middle of my shift…AND i take creatine sooooo

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Painstar is attempting to self-taper off of lexapro
Ive dropped so much wt, my clothes are falling off of my body. I look in the mirror and see what i have always seen. When will i look different to myself? When will i be satisfied. Im so tired
Enchantix!
I got got pls help
the whole “only eat foods with ingredients you can pronounce!!” thing doesn’t mean much to me because I’m generally pretty good at pronouncing chemical names lol

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I’m almost out of 120s jail 🥹🥹🥹 please clap
Logging back in….my moots have all probably all nuked by now