I'm Only Here for Carter.

County General is no stranger to disaster but this time, the forces of nature conspire against them!

THE CHALLENGE

Create a work of writing/art/etc. about our intrepid heroes facing a natural disaster — literally, metaphorically, psychologically! However you interpret that is up to you.

These prompts are meant to inspire your imagination, but in no way should you feel restricted by them. If you wanna write about a volcano, then by all means— LET US SEE THAT PYROCLASTIC FLOW!

Challenge Open: NOW

Deadline: August 31, 11:59 PST

We welcome all ratings and pairings.

Additionally, we recognise that ER contains many mature and difficult themes, so please be sure to tag your works responsibly (I'm looking at you Secrets & Lies related fics!)

WHAT’S EXPECTED OF ME AS A PARTICIPANT? All written pieces must be a minimum of 500 words, and must be complete (in the case of one shots) or have a minimum of one chapter completed (for multi-chapter fics) by August 31 2026.

There will be an open but hidden collection on AO3 (updated later) for you to submit your fic to. The collection will be revealed on September 1 2026.

If you are making art, you are more than welcome to make it a work on AO3, but please do not post your art on tumblr until the collection is revealed. Be sure to tag it #County General Natural Disaster Challenge on tumblr so we can all find it, and reblog.

Collaboration and discussion is encouraged!

So I think they knew Anna was leaving around or just before filming the last ep of S4 (based on what’s shown in the last 15 mins of the ep). So at this point they’d have had to rethink their plans for a) whatever was going to happen with Anna and b) Carter’s love life. (problem 1).

They knew Clooney was leaving. They screwed it up by making it so repetitive to his previous storylines. Interestingly the writers blamed his leaving storyline taking up all the oxygen being a big S5 problem. I don’t remember that being the case when I last watched but maybe? I don’t know if they let Clooney go earlier than originally planned too because he left midway through the season (Problem 2)

I don’t understand why they decided to make Carol pregnant, except that maybe Julianna Marguiles was originally planning to leave in S5 then extended a year. Either way, Doug leaving halfway through the season and Carol staying left the writers with a story headache (problem 3).

They probably knew Eriq La Salle had a problem with the Benton-Corday relationship in S4 because it’s part of the storyline. If so, that bit them on the arse when he was still unhappy with it in S5, so they needed to change this storyline midway through the season. I don’t think they’d planned to do so - another swerve (problem 4).

I genuinely can’t remember much of Mark’s storyline in S5 which is a pretty big problem for the main character. (maybe problem 5 but that might just be me not paying much attention to S5 Mark).

Lucy. I get what they were trying but I’m fairly certain from reading old forums that she was widely disliked. This is a problem when you’ve just spent about three episodes focused on introducing her as a new main character (problem 6)

Also - they decided to pivot to the Carter-Lucy romance and then had to pivot right back out of it when Noah Wyle asked them not to go down that road (problem 7)

And on the whole Carter-Lucy teaching storyline. This one is total conjecture BUT. In S5E1 they mention whether he’ll teach Lucy like Benton taught him. This is kind of brought up once later in the sense of Carter saying Benton must have found him so frustrating. But thats not what the Ep1 line was about - the Ep1 line had been alluding to Benton’s not so great qualities as a teacher towards Carter. Surely if you’re doing a Carter teacher storyline you’re thinking about the Carter-Benton relationship. And it’s kind of there in the background but I don’t think it’s ever resolved. I think they probably were going to do much more with that but didn’t in the end, maybe due to all the other plot changes that year (although TV shows did used to just never resolve stuff so I might be totally wrong) (problem 8. Maybe)

Something went on with the scheduling that meant they wouldn’t let Noah out to do Pirates of Silicon Valley. I’ve discovered it was always supposed to be filmed in October which means something went on to change his availability if the ER producers were originally going to give him time off to do it. Maybe just normal filming over-running but maybe all the changes to storylines caused the issue (problem 9)

First, her exit was announced AFTER George Clooney’s exit. There were old forums and boards speculating on rumours about Maria leaving while fully aware of George’s upcoming exit. Even Reuters (Variety) seem confused when they break the news on June 23, 1998 (about a month after the season 4 finale aired).

Their article goes on to suggest that George Clooney’s exit prompted Maria’s because she wanted to be romantically paired with his character. This is, in retrospect, clearly a wild speculation. Season 4 is pretty clear from the off that Carter is Anna’s endgame romance, and she outright rejects Doug in Season 3. Never mind no person on earth really believed Doug was ever going to end up with anyone except Carol by this point in the show.

So it seems like it was a shock to everyone, quite late in the game, and no one had any clue, or any reason to anticipate or understand her exit.

I think, maybe a year or so later (? I can’t find a single source, but lots of repetitions of this from random people) it came out Maria was really unhappy on the show. The word was, for quite a long time, that she’d felt ER “wasn’t real acting” and “didn’t challenge her” and so she wanted to pursue more ambitious projects in film.

Maria’s own story, later on, backs this up. She says that she went to John Wells (she doesn’t say when) and said “she’d rather be sweeping streets” than stay on ER.

SO that’s the vibe that got out, and this is where the story diverges.

As far as I can tell, this is essentially the story that the cast heard. I’m sure they heard from Maria directly or indirectly while working with her, or could tell just from the vibe that she was miserable. She acknowledges that she was just constantly sad on set, and could not get up the energy to participate and be enthusiastic about it, especially as Season 4 went on. She felt like she was unfulfilled and the only thing that she could identify as being the cause of that was being stuck on ER. She “couldn’t bear to be there.”

SIDE NOTE:

Turns out - she was suffering from undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and BPD. In 2024, on the Seano Show (although she may have mentioned it before), she goes in detail about how the day she quit, she got in a car, left LA, and drove away to a hotel in the middle of a mixed manic-depressive episode and was suicidal. Her mother and brother got her into psychiatric care, where she was eventually diagnosed and treated.

This poor girl was literally in the midst of a mental health crisis, and because of the way mental health was at the time she could not articulate it beyond “I feel awful, I can’t be here.”

I don’t think the cast ever knew this.

And why do I think the cast was never told about Maria? Because a) she clearly didn’t know what was going on with her, and b) the cast was never told about Kellie’s sister. Obviously, both these instances are deeply personal, and in Maria’s case, unclear even to her. But both of these instances deeply affected a cast who were very committed to each other, and have now had their whole career thrown into chaos at the whim of two people who, for unknown reasons, seem to have taken precedence over more senior members.

BACK ON MAIN

I think that all the cast was told at the time was that Maria was gone. They may have filled the gap of understanding in with the little they did know (She didn’t want to be there, she was often sad and frustrated, and didn’t seem to like the job), and supplemented it with rumours (She thinks the show is “not real acting” and that the work is beneath her).

All this coming in June. Shooting is expected to start in July.

We know this because Kellie Martin was due to start shooting ER the week her sister died, and they ended up delaying production by a week in order to give her some time to grieve. Kellie’s sister died July 17 1998.

Kellie Martin, herself, and the character of Lucy, was a late addition to the cast. She says in an interview (a podcast, I can’t remember which) that it was stated to her that Season 5 was meant to be a “soft relaunch” for the show.

After Season 4’s success, there’s no real reason to do a relaunch of ANY kind unless your whole story has been completely thrown out. This makes even less sense when you consider any reboot would be more likely after Clooney’s exit, and anyone else they might lose.

Because, consider this: It was obvious from probably Season 2 that George Clooney was not staying past his contract. In fact, there was much praise singing regarding his staying that long.

See, back in the day, network shows generally signed their main cast to standard five-year contracts. This is to keep costs down if your show gets really popular, like ER did. However, after five years, if you get renewed, the actors can renegotiate. ie. ask for more money.

And since ER was such a massive hit, they were always gonna ask for A LOT more money. Like the article @delightfullyatomicfest linked stated — MILLIONS of dollars more money.

This is also why, in general, back in the day shows like this would have a planned out five-season arc. You can go back to a bunch of 90s shows and see a strong first five seasons and then a tone shift (X-Files, for example), and/or cast changeover. That’s the five year contract standard, baby!

Anyway, the thing is, Maria Bello signed a SEVEN-YEAR CONTRACT halfway through Season 3. So they knew they were planning on keeping her long-term. They did not expect that she would leave, at all.

And once she does they’re faced with two main problems.

What to do about the plot?

What to do about the cast?

Because she left, but they were juuuuuust approaching negotiations for season 6 contracts, which means EVERY OTHER MEMBER of the main cast could choose to peace out. And now that the story/plans for Season 5 were in shambles, they could very well lose the trust and investment of those leads.

Eriq doesn’t like his Season 5 story? Gone.

Noah hates his Season 5 romance? Gone.

Julianna was already on the fence. Now? Gone.

Anthony feels underutilised? Gone.

They could very well lose them ALL. And be absolutely fuuuuuuuucked.

Maria leaves, as far as the cast knows because she hated the show and hated them all, the whole production is thrown into chaos, and suddenly, within a month, they’re “soft-relaunching” the entire thing with a brand new lead character, Lucy.

I don’t think it’s a big leap to imagine that the atmosphere backstage was…fraught. To put it mildly.

Keep in mind, this is the same time period as Noah telling Kellie to “step up” and bring her A-Game. This is where he’s telling us he hated Goran, and was very jealous.

Now, imagine this:

You’ve been on this show for four years. It was your big break, and basically your sole professional credit of any critical or public value. And it’s amazing. You have made the best friends of your life — one of whom is leaving after the next season.

That’s sad, obviously, but you’re happy for him. And it’s good news for you, too, because that means you’re moving up on the call sheet. You’re no longer the junior comic relief. Actually, this past season you just did has set you up with some pretty juicy character arcs, and a slow-burn love interest with another up-and-coming actress who has signed on for seven years. You can tell it’s cooking. You’re being groomed to be the next romantic lead of the show! And the show is the biggest thing on television.

ALSO, this fall, you’ve booked a film. You’re not sure what the situation is, but the Big Show you’re on has agreed to let you go to Toronto for maybe a couple weeks, or weekends to shoot. There’s time being built into your regular shooting schedule for the Big Show to make room for you to do film projects. FILM PROJECTS! What you’ve always imagined you’d eventually graduate to. Not that the Big Show is bad, but…you were going to be a movie star.

In the meantime, you’re going on a road trip with your girlfriend soon to be wife, and you’re growing your first beard. Congratulations. Things are coming up you!

And then you find out the up-and-coming actress EVERY SINGLE ONE of those juicy storylines of yours was tied to has left.

She’s gone.

No reason given, but things come back to you. You hear she hated the show. Maybe you suspected it. She never seemed happy. The speculation in the paper is that she felt the Big Show you’ve fucking busted your ass for four years on “wasn’t creatively fulfilling,” or “wasn’t real acting.” She’s left to pursue movies. (Not that you couldn’t but you wanted to do movies, too, so what? What? Does she think she’s better than this Big Show? Better than you?).

Also, filming is supposed to begin in less than a month. How are they gonna write new scripts that fast? What are you even gonna be shooting?

Then you hear, they’re casting a new character. A med-student. The next Carter. The producers tell you and the rest of the cast they’re doing a “soft re-launch.”

You’re getting replaced.

And there’s nowhere for you to go, because how can you be the romantic lead when your romantic partner is the person who left?

Then you hear your schedule’s been bumped again. They’re pushing the start date a week to accommodate this new actress. Someone who has never been on your show, has no idea how it works, has done nothing to contribute to the success of it, doesn’t know the dynamics, is coming in already the new lead, and with a schedule shaped to suit her. And you?

Well, first of all, that film you're doing? It's all a mess too. Turns out, your schedule isn't gonna be as flexible as you'd imagined, and now, unless they move the whole production to LA, you probably won't be able to do it.

As for the Big Show...you’ve read the first couple scripts. You’re basically in the background. Doing nothing. Unless “Lucy” is in the scene — then you pop up just to give her some conflict to work against, or to set up her main story arc. You’re barely a supporting character at this point. All your stuff seems to revolve around her. A lot of it seems like the comedic stuff you were doing in Season 3.

Not to mention, they’ve hired this other hot guy, very obviously and openly intended as George’s replacement in terms of romantic lead. So…that’s not gonna be you anymore, either.

They do give you a new love interest. She has no ties to any other characters. No real plot. Everything you were involved in last season has been completely dropped. In fact, at some point, it kind of seems to you like it’d be really easy to write you out of the show entirely…are you…are you getting fired?

I mean, your contract is up after this season. George is gone. Eriq…is making some noise about wanting to go, especially after this new shake up. Julianna, more and more, seems intent on leaving. And Kellie is getting a lot of screen time. You’re not stupid. You can read the writing on the wall, and it’s not good.

You lose the Emmy again that year, and this time, for the first time, the vote isn’t split between you and a Big Show colleague. You lost it all on your own. This is your last Emmy nomination for 26 years.

…

OBVIOUSLY THIS IS ALL RAMPANT SPECULATION but frankly, I’d be scared and impatient, too. I’d also be convinced I was getting fired, and irritated at having to hand hold these new people who were getting all this page time but couldn’t manage to do a single take without flubbing dialogue you have worked really hard for a really long time to master. I’d be a wreck.

I’m not saying this is what happened, but I am saying, hypothetically, if it was…yeah. Bring your stupid A-game.

NOW THAT’S ALL PRODUCTION BASED, but I think the evidence for this is in how Anna’s leaving really messed up Season 5 as we see it on screen.

Here’s the thing: when Maria joined, she was introduced to the show slowly. With great patience. At the same (or near the same) time, the cast was also expanded to include Alex Kingston and Paul McCrane. Looking back, Corday and Romano feel like Original Cast, because they were so seamlessly brought in. And Anna was the same. If she’d stayed, she’d have been in their ranks as the invisible second cast, long before Lucy, or Abby, or Luka arrived.

How did they do this?

They made each of these new characters integral parts of Main Cast Plots without giving them their own unique plot. We don’t know much about Anna, but we know that she and Doug disagree about patient care, and as a pediatrician she is set up opposite him. At the end of the season, her ex-boyfriend, Max, is the physician called in by County to evaluate the possibility of a pedes ER. He even literally tells us, “You know what will happen? They’ll ask me to run it,” setting up the very clear future plot line where Max comes in and edges Doug out — hence giving Clooney a plausible reason to leave County.

This was something that people found especially nonsensical in Season 5, even as it was airing. Doug’s plot ends up being essentially recycled from Season 1, feels unmoored, over-played, and unsatisfying as referenced in the article posted in OP’s post.

For Peter, she’s the one who delivers Reese, and the only person in the ER that Peter seems to trust with his son. Once this is established, not only is she connected to the ongoing Reese plot, and Benton, but also is a bridge between Benton and Carter who the writers have struggled to bring together in any logical way since Carter left surgery.

For Carol, Anna is established as a close friend, and is involved with the start of her clinic. There’s also some personal conflict here as even though she and Carol are friends, she makes no secret about how little she likes Doug. Carol is ALSO the matchmaker for Anna and Carter more than once, being a friend and bridge between both of them.

With Elizabeth, also new, they’re quick to establish a friendship, though since Elizabeth doesn’t really have her own unique plot yet, they’re less connected than they might otherwise be.

But you see what I mean? They tie her in SO TIGHTLY to everyone else’s plot which is INCREDIBLY smart as a way to introduce a character naturally to an audience, without pulling any focus from the Original Cast, but…

When she leaves, it kind of fucks over everyone else.

Especially Carter.

Whose EVERY SINGLE PLOT was in some way tied to Anna. Especially the main one, which was about his growing up and emancipation from his family. As discussed many times by MEEEEEEE lol, Anna and Carter are matched up SO SO well, structurally and narratively that even without a romantic subplot it would have been basically impossible to lose her and not restructure Carter’s ENTIRE story.

Which is what happens.

And that’s why Carter’s essentially a non-entity in Season 5. Roxanne essentially fills page time that likely would have been devoted to Anna/Carter stuff which is probably why it always feels so separate, and so aimless.

Doug’s exit-plot had to be completely reworked, dropping all the seeds from the season before about having to compete for his fellowship and the ER pedes unit.

Carol’s clinic, sponsored by Gamma Carter, no longer needed since all Carter’s plots were dropped, is also dropped, leaving Carol kind of aimless as well.

Benton’s connection to Carter is lost, and so they basically don’t interact for yet another season, though, admittedly the Reese plot is easier to excise (however, I can see a world where Reese’s care and development plot would have been tied to the pedes unit headed by Max, and Anna’s presence there is still relevant).

BASICALLY IT ALL GOT THROWN OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE ANNA LEFT.

And money doesn't fill that void. Season Four, for me, is extremely interesting from a structural point of view. Of course, I'm incredibly biased, and of course, I'm giving it more time and thought than I'm interested in giving to other seasons, if someone wants to go off about season five, then by all means, do so. BUT I DO THINK that season four is structurally, thematically, and narratively more focused and more coherent than...any other season. To be honest.

I think this is something that's been growing since season one, and we can see how season two and season three are consecutively more and more complex, and more and more coherent in their narrative through line, but for my money, season four is the culmination of this mindset on the part of the writers.

An easy way to see this is to consider that if you watch any episode in season five out of order, you have a pretty good chance of understanding the different relationships, and plots, and whatever else is going on. The episodes are consistently, relatively self-contained.

But if you watch episodes from season four out of order, you're almost definitely going to be missing some key piece of information. Relationships are extremely dynamic, plots build over time, there is a general display of patience and restraint in the writing that rewards consistent and linear viewing.

SO, what this means for us in this analysis, is that we have a story line capable of being examined through the lens of a single metaphor, because if each episode is so deliberately contiguous, then we're able to assume that the use of metaphor and symbolism is equally consistent.

And one of the things that season four really wants us to investigate is Carter's Family.

I don't think we ever see his family in such clear relief ever again. Of course, later seasons feature members of his family in vaguely interconnected plots, but we don't see them so clearly, or with so much variety as we do in season four.

More specifically, we see how the Carters impact and control John's life through wealth.

Episode one informs us that Carter is not getting a paycheck. While this was established in the second half of season three, it's good to remind us off the top that he is a trust fund baby. He does not live off what the hospital gives him, but from the Carter Family Fortune.

Contrast this with Anna, who, almost immediately, informs us that she is massively in debt, and their paycheck as interns barely makes a dent.

In this instance, we can understand the contrast of abundance vs. scarcity.

And, in traditional terms, we would be correct to read this as Carter living in abundance and Anna living in scarcity.

Which is why it's extremely interesting that the moment this disparity is made obvious to the characters, it is not Anna who pretends to be in a class above her station, as is the most common trope.

This is not a Cinderella story. This isn't My Fair Lady.

Instead of Anna pretending to be a princess, Carter immediately pretends to be a pauper. He agrees their paycheck is pitiful, and actually takes some genuine joy in the thought that he's earned his own money for real however small the amount.

Here, Anna is presented as having The Thing That Carter Wants -- to be a Real Boy.

And it's directly tied to the inversion of material wealth as being the thing of value. In this moment, we are introduced to the idea that Anna has something, and Carter is missing it.

This concept is quickly tied to the idea of food when Anna asks Carter for help on her taxes. In exchange, she offers to get them some sandwiches as they do laundry together. Here is where money is contrasted with food. Carter is wealth, but also hunger (his family echoes that hunger with their hunger for wealth, and power, and control), while Anna is a provider of food. Of nourishment.

Interestingly, in this moment, Carter ruins the food by putting it in the dryer, symbolising how that as long as he fails to be honest with Anna, he will not be able to access the nourishment she offers.

She can bring him the food, but his pretense, his lies, will not let him eat.

This is followed by Anna showing up with work as a font of abundance, pulling food out of her pockets like Aragorn disarming himself at the hall of Edoras.

She is a symbol of abundance. Of food. Of nourishment. And while she has all this food -- she doesn't share it with John.

However, not all is lost, because she has brought him something.

Again we see this association with Anna being a carrier and provider of food and nourishment, and John being so close but not quite a recipient.

Each time, however, he gets a little bit closer.

After this, he's buying her lunch. And lying about it. When she realises he's spent so much money, she stops eating and pay him back. She was happy to eat with him until she recognised that this feast is one of money. While, obviously, within the context of the character, she pays him back because she thinks he's also poor, we can understand from a subtextual perspective, Anna's refusal of this meal is a refusal of Carter wealth, of money as a substitute for nourishment, and a rejection of Carter's pretense as reality. She simply can't stomach it.

The next time we see them around food, Anna's telling him to get them both a couple of pop-tarts. Which...he has never tasted. This food is sweet but artificial, and anyway, they don't make it that far because --

BUG!

But that's alright because we get our first exchange of food. He's still lying, he still can't quite eat the food she's offering, but finally, he offers to provide her food in return.

In this conversation they explicitly connect wealth to hunger with Anna telling Carter he's always seemed so "milk-fed middle class" and Carter responding that he "never went hungry."

Both their framing of wealth directly refers to the idea of eating with Anna using a metaphorical comparison and Carter using a literal one.

They conclude this conversation about wealth as access to food with Carter offering to make sure Anna doesn't go hungry by buying her pancakes.

Later, in this same episode, Carter remembers that he can't take Anna to journal club because he's meant to be having dinner with his grandmother. He can't tell Anna that he's helping Carol get money, so he's lied in a way that, again, connects food with family, care, and nourishment.

"Dinner with grandma" implies an entirely different experience than "a business proposal with grandma." One brings to mind family, love, and care with all the intimacy of a shared meal, while the other is cold, and inhuman.

He tells Anna this while she is buying him lunch.

Anna's response?

"So this is just an appetizer."

As if the food she is providing him is both literally a prelude to what he gets with his family, and also, subtextually, only a small portion of the abundance he's surely enjoying at that dinner table.

But even more interesting than Anna's response, is what Carter says next to her:

"Well, her cooking's not exactly --"

He begins to deny the quality of his grandmother's hypothetical cooking. Even in his lie, he can't pretend that the food being provided at home is of any value.

The idea that his family name, that his wealth, that his identity as a Carter first prevents him from eating and sating his hunger for a more grounded, domestic life reappears again once Anna has discovered the truth.

When she and Carol arrive at the Carter mansion she first asks for beer -- a very blue collar drink -- and then amends it to water. Essentially, consuming nothing of significant substance.

Then, when she confronts John, we see them presented like this:

They are sat

At opposite ends

Of an EMPTY TABLE.

The only item on that table? The one at John's fingertips?

Yeah, it's a Faberge egg. It is a useless, decorative, but expensive object made in the image of real food. But it cannot be consumed. It is nourishment without substance. Money without value.

This one kills me because like -- AN EMPTY DINING TABLE WITH ONLY A FAKE EGG IN FRONT OF HIM?

See, this is the point where I was like, "I'm reaching...but am I?"

Anyway.

Anna is mad. And when Carter wants to repair that bridge, he goes back to food.

He invites her to breakfast, and she says, she's not hungry.

But he is. For her presence. For the nourishment that she provides, for the way that she feeds him. Metaphorically.

But also literally.

Once they've made their peace, we see Carter once again impoverished and hungry. He has no money for the vending machine. Randi refuses to give him any, but Anna? Anna gives him the money he needs, and when he offers her the change, she tells him to keep it.

In this moment, she has combined money AND nourishment.

Because Anna and Carter are compatible. Because they've overcome the obstacles between them (and Henry basically married them lbr).

Once his lie is out of the way, he is able to be fed by her. He wants to be fed by her. And she wants to feed him.

Even in episodes where they aren't necessarily interacting with each other, we see them eating -- and even more tellingly, eating the same things.

But then...we get to Chase.

And Carter's Family with their emotional starvation diet comes back again.

Chase demands John's help getting him clean. Anna warns Carter, and is dismissed. And when he decides to go to Chase, he first has to pass by Anna, sat like a fae at the feast where John is too scared to eat.

Seriously.

Look at her. Sat at this table with her lunch spread out. Abundance. Nourishment. Waiting to be consumed, and being consumed by her alone.

And she reaches out, inviting John to lean on her, but he refuses to accept her support, her investment, walking out alone while she has this wealth of food in front of him. A metaphor for the nourishment she offers but which he, in his pride, in his shame, in the shadow of his duty to his family, refuses to take.

Later, she appears at Chase's house just as John finishes a bowl of soup. He offers it to Chase, who refuses -- the Carter scarcity. But John, who has eaten, is immediately rewarded with Anna showing up for him.

And he is so glad to have her. He lets her in. Literally, and again, metaphorically.

So of course, the next time he encounters her, he is determined to provide her with a feast of his own.

(Side note, LYDIA WATCHING)

His efforts to feed her get increasingly elaborate. First, he brings her a dooughnut from the admit desk. But once he sees her, this changes.

Multiple times, he states his intent to get her breakfast, asking her what she wants, implying that he will go out -- in the blizzard -- to get her anything.

Please. The YEARNING. The DEVOTION. I'm obsessed.

And ANNA, FINALLY RECIPROCATES.

This moment is so special to me, folks. All this time, she's been feeding him, or only accepting the rare offer (the pancakes) after her own food has been rejected.

But in this moment, he has offered her breakfast. He wants to feed her. And she wants to be fed. She wants to be nourished, too. She wants to be taken care of. It's reciprocal, now. They are equal.

She has seen his family, has seen through his lie, has seen the thing he fears to show most, and she has come out saying not only that she wants to keep feeding him, but that she wants him to be the one to feed her, too.

Her breakfast order is elaborate. It's maybe impossible. Like a Greek hero, though, John is determined to get it for her. Because she's asked. And he loves her.

We get our first hint that there is trouble up ahead when this breakfast is rainchecked.

And then, even more doubt is sown when the breakfast is destroyed.

Anna is STARVING. Anna is waiting to be fed.

And John, well...John LITERALLY slips up.

Still, even though she acknowledges she's not likely to get her breakfast, she still takes a bite. She's still willing to take what he can offer.

But then, the rapist is brought in.

And John starts lying to her again.

And Anna...

Anna isn't hungry anymore.

She declines dinner.

And while it's an indirect rejection of John, it's clear that it's his actions which have made her decline Chase's invitation. His lie. Chase is also a Carter, and this same sort of trait, this aspect of him which first denied his identity, which Chase also embodies -- this abundance of wealth, but scarcity of integrity. This is the thing that she rejects.

Which makes it important to note that when Carter comes to her to confess, he's not empty handed. He has a bottle of beer which, yes, while absolutely holding the implication of empty calories or a purchased obliviation of reality, is ALSO the same blue-collar drink that Anna earlier requested and then declined.

He's seeking the food that she consumes because he can't access the food she actually provides.

But it gets him close enough to her for his honesty to feed her forgiveness, and her hand in his replaces the bottle he'd been holding.

In Exodus, we don't see much of Anna and Carter together in repose, but we see them working perfectly in tandem professionally.

In fact, the first time we see them in the episode, they're encountering each other in...THE CAFETERIA.

And later, the cafeteria becomes the place Carter chooses as a refuge. As their temporary ER.

Is it a coincidence that the place he first steps up and takes on a leadership role is where people eat? An activity he associates with Anna, who we also encounter there casually at first, and later in the height of the trauma.

Maybe. Like, that one's a stretch. BUT IN CONCERT WITH THE REST?

Anyway, we're not done with the cafeteria, because after Chase ODs, after Carter begins to pull away again because of the weight of his family's expectations, because of the Carter family demands we find him like this.

Sleeping. Not eating.

Hungry, and unfed.

I mean, that bagel might be his, but if it is then,

a) it's a plain bagel he hasn't consumed

b) pretty sure it's not bc when he gets up he only takes his coffee with him.

Here he is, surrounded by his chosen family, essentially, but literally unconscious to the feast being had around him. He can't eat.

OH

OH???

What's that? He LITERALLY CANNOT EAT? HE'S LITERALLY STARVING?

Yeah.

Anna catches up to him, and instantly, she calls him out for not returning her call.

He lies, and says his answering machine is broken.

We know this is a lie because the next thing he admits to is that he's not sleeping. Which means he would have heard his phone ring. He's screening his calls, and he's denying Anna, FOOD IN HAND, while he is at his hungriest and being starved for affection by his family.

This man is LITERALLY STARVED FOR AFFECTION.

And Anna can see this.

She notes he looks tired. He's honest and says he's not sleeping.

She rewards him, instantly, by feeding him because she knows that he's not being fed, either.

In this moment, it's not a purchased meal. It's not negotiated. She breaks her food in half, and gives it to him. They are eating the same fruit from the same vine. Her food is his.

It all comes to a head at the ER BANQUET.

An actual, literal banquet.

...Where Anna can't feed him. Because she admits that Max is not totally out of the picture.

But still, though their table is empty, they are still AT THE FEAST. Not all hope is lost. She's denying him food in a place of abundance (the ER banquet), as opposed to him trying to eat in a place of scarcity (his family home).

She still has a drink in front of her. Her abundance isn't entirely depleted.

But...she isn't able to feed him anymore.

And so, John feeds her.

And, most relevantly, she accepts it. Without question.

While we're being told that Max is coming in to disrupt, coming in to steal Anna away, what we're being shown is that Carter and Anna still have something more substantial than that.

And this is proved by how Max attempts to persuade Anna back to him.

He does it through food.

He buys her food from her home town. Something to remind her of what he, metaphorically, can feed her: comfort, familiarity, nostalgia.

He promises her Home.

But he knows that's not enough to persuade her. If he wants Anna to eat with him, he has to feed John, too.

And Carter sees this ploy for dinner as a play for his support. As the thing Max wants to do to win back Anna. That if Carter will eat whatever he feeds him -- whether that's literal Philly Cheese Steaks, or lies about him being sober, or wanting Carter's support -- Anna will accept what he feeds her.

The way to Anna is through Carter's stomach.

And he declines.

He'd rather go hungry than feed that.

Of course, the season ends in this strange kind of limbo, but I truly think that Anna was endgame for Carter (see: my other elaborate theories). I think this metaphor of hunger and abundance, of Carter and Anna literally feeding each other and metaphorically feeding off each other is proof of how well they compliment each other, how integral they are to each other's health, well-being, and very survival.