I'm Only Here for Carter.

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]

No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.

But me? Never.

I am the highest power in my life, okay (i mean it in a non-narcissistic way). There’s no destiny, universe, cat, dog, or god. Nothing. Me and my free will. That’s it.

Part of this is because of the religious nature that this post talks about, but because the program has only a 5 - 10% success rate across the over 1.5 million members worldwide. Other than for religious reasons, the 12 step program emphasises that people are powerless to the whims of their addiction, which isn't just blatantly untrue, it's harmful. As someone who has "the addiction gene" and has been an alcoholic, it's really important that I acknowledge that addiction isn't any different to any other mental or physiological condition that I have. Sure, you should try to overcome addiction, as a depressed person should avoid self-harm, and someone with chronic pain should avoid impact sports; that is to say, you should avoid perpetuating the negative symptoms of whatever you are suffering from, but it is not some deep dark evil that you have to fight. Your illnesses, diseases, and conditions are very much a part of you, and as such, you are very capable of bettering yourself and managing the symptoms. The 12 step program to the contrary would have you believe that your illnesses, diseases, and conditions are a demonic entity that is taking hold of your soul and that if you want to get to Heaven, you must repent!!

Additionally, my personal issues with these programs centres on something important: ABSTINENCE DOESN'T FUCKING WORK. "Do nothing!" DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. You know what the best method for getting clean off heroin is? Doing heroin. I'm not joking (though I definitely am nitpicking this example). Doctors used to be able to prescribe heroin addicts with small doses of heroin so that they could ween off of the drug. The reason for this is not just patient comfort in lessening withdrawal symptoms (which could be said for the case of alcohol and prescription pain killers, though the specific person's circumstances may be more severe than others), but because heroin is a drug that makes you genuinely physically ill when you are addicted and don't take it. I've heard some recovering addicts describe this as a burning of the flesh and a mental state that makes you feel like you are actively passing away – though, take this with a grain of salt, I don't have a massive sample size. In this circumstance, I'm sure that you can understand why telling an addict to just 'uhh....fkn stop doin drugs bro haha' is damaging, unhelpful, and potentially very dangerous! Furthermore, the guilt surrounding relapse when every psychologist would tell you that relapse is just a fkn part of recovery that might happen (or might not happen) depending on your general ~everything~ is downright cruel! Guilt is an awful emotion to experience. Why would you base a whole therapy group around it????

This is the best advice anybody can give you, but it's not fun and it's shitty to execute: the only way to get better at writing is to write a lot.

I'm not going to say that there aren't people who have a better intuitive capability at writing than others, but no matter how much innate talent someone may have, nothing will ever take the place of the journeyman grind of writing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pages. From the first story I ever wrote to the last one I churned out, the difference is immense -- and while yes, I've grown in experience, vocabulary, literary reference and maturity, the only way I was able to deploy those new tools and refinements was by continuously throwing myself bloody against the brick wall of writing yet another story.

The best way to be a good writer is to be a bad writer for a very long time, in essence, and to be able to grit your teeth through that process. That last part, the endurance sport of it, that's the thing a lot of people can't do; even once you're a quote-unquote good writer, writing doesn't get much easier, because you hold yourself to a higher standard, and chipping blood out of the rock of your frontal lobe so your story can have a climax is the same agonizing process it's ever been -- regardless of how you avoid thesaurus abuse these days.

Re: the realism and atmosphere, I wrote a long thread about my process there years ago (thanks @cherrysolitary for the off twitter link!) which now I'm thinking I should probably transcribe into Tumblr at some point.