my dean ⋆ dean winchester
pairing: dean winchester x f!reader
warnings: talk of john being a bad dad
summery: dean comes over to talk to you about his dad
It’s a late Friday night, and you are getting ready for bed. You slip into your pink pajamas, and start to do your skincare. You walk into your bathroom, and as you start to wash your face you hear a rock hit your window with a soft thud.
You shrug and continue to wash your face, and then you hear the noise again. You roll your eyes thinking it’s a dumb bird.
You walk out our bathroom when you are done, and look out the window.
At the bottom you see Dean. You smile and open your window, and clubs up the ladder into your room. He lands with a thud on the floor, and you quickly shh him.
“Hey, sweetheart” he says but his usual cocky demeanor is not there it’s replaced with something else.
You give him a smile, and your heart flutters you have been in love with him since you met him. You want to tell him but you’ve been friends with him long enough he doesn’t do love or let people get attached.
“Don’t you have some party to be at?” You ask because after all it is a Friday night.
He shrugs, “nah, I’d rather be here with my best friend” you roll your eyes, but you smile at him.
You miss seeing him outside of school, and when you try to make plans he always says he has a job, but last time you checked he was unemployed.
“What’s on your mind Dean” you ask noticing him looking around nervously, you pat the bed spot besides you.
He gets up and sits next to you on the bed, and he lays his head on your shoulder. You stiffen becasue he’s never the one to really do “soft” things like this. Oh, so he says.
You know John can be sort of a harsh man to live with, and you’ve seen part of it when you would sleep over with dean sometimes.
He starts to explain how John is being much harder on him than usual, and making Dean feel useless, and you notice he starts to tear up a bit.
He starts to talk about how he thinks and feels useless now because John is getting in his head. He tells me about how the things he does like random hook ups, and going to parties is just to feel wanted by people.
“Hey, hey look at me” you say softly and he looks at you, “you are not useless Dean you are my best friend, and I care you so much I hate hearing yourself talk about yourself like this”
His eyes soften a bit, and you wipe his tears away while telling him he is more than what John says he is.
“I-I just can’t keep living like this” he says voice hoarse, and he continues “I need to leave, and never look back”
Your heat drops. He wants to leave, and this means you. You know it, and you’ve seen this look on him before. When he saw Sam getting bullied. The look of pure determination.
You remember when he beat up Sam’s bullies a few months back, and you remember patching up his knuckles after.
“He expects me to carry all the weight of our jobs” he sighs, and rolls into his back you turn of your lamp and lay next to him.
“You know what?” He asks suddenly.
“When we are old, and wrinkly let’s still be friends” you let out a giggle because how silly his request is.
“Of course” you simply respond.
“Promise me? Because I promise you” he holds up his hand with his pinky out, and you interlock pinkies.
You guys hold it there for a while, and he pulls back quickly. Ouch. That hurt.
You start to think about everything, like how you want to tell him how you feel, but you know you shouldn’t. So you think to yourself maybe tell him on graduation.
“I know that look sweetheart what are you thinking about?”
He rolls his eyes then he starts to fall asleep. You slowly get out of bed, and get a blanket to cover him because he’s over the comforter and you don’t want to move him.
You lay next to him, and whisper “I love you” so quietly that you can barely hear yourself. You smile to yourself knowing Dean is here with you.
You slowly drift off to sleep happy that he’s there with you, and not at some dumb party getting drunk or with some girl who doesn’t appreciate him like you.
The next morning you wake up to an empty bed, and assume he’s in the bathroom. You go to knock on the door.
“Dean?” you call out, and no answer.
Maybe he’s eating everything out the fridge, so you head downstairs. You check the kitchen and he’s not there.
You start to get worried this isn’t like him to just leave you, you know he leaves one night with no warning, but world he do this to you?
You start to get worried and head back to your room frantically looking for a note. You don’t fine one.
You start to tear up. Why would he leave? You then check your phone and see no messages from Dean, but you see one from Sam that reads
‘Sorry. Dean dropped out, and is not going to be back.’
Why didn’t he tell you? you were always there to listen to him no judgment.
Then you see the bottom message:
‘Lose his number. His request.’
You start to cry. Why would he do this? You can’t bring yourself to delete his number. You then remember his rule of not letting people get attached.
You drop to your knees, and hold your head in your hands. You just let it all out.
“My dean” you whisper brokenly.
He was all that you wanted, and it just vanished overnight.
You couldn’t even tell him you loved him before he left.
Your everything was just ripped from you, and you feel empty without him.
You text him three simple words:
You wait for a response from him, and then your phone finally buzzes with a message from him:
‘You got attached. Not my fault.’
You freeze looking your phone. Maybe you are reading it wrong.
Then another message comes from him:
‘I meant what I said. lose my number.’
You lost your Dean. The man you loved.
He doesn’t get attached or do love. It one sided love the worst type of love.
You could never make him love you.
authors note: the infamous rory gilmore line
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