HERE COME THE DEBT COLLECTORS!

Sophokles, from Elektra; translated by Anne Carson in An Oresteia

megaera exhaled through her nose as the tension left her scalp and her hair spilled down her back. what happened? it was a straightforward question, but one that lacked a straightforward answer; little things piled up, and she could only effectively tamp them down for so long. thanatos’ prompting allowed her to transform her next deep breath into a weak chuckle. at least he offered her a place to start.

“ no, not hypnos, ” she murmured as she slowly pulled away from his embrace to reach for the clasp on his gorget. she maneuvered the lock with practiced ease, and once she carefully lifted it from his shoulders and set it down on the nearby table, she removed her diadem from her head and held it in both hands. “ it’s always them, ” she snarled as she stared at the purple gemstone set into it, as though she was inspecting it for the first time. “ i can’t have any peace as long as i have to work with them. ” peace was a luxury few ( perhaps none ) in the house could afford, but at the very least she wanted to work without any unnecessary disturbances. “ i won’t grovel before hades again, but … i don’t know much longer i can take this. ” her pride kept her from asking zagreus to make another headstrong petition: defend megaera’s honor, since she’s far too weak to do it her damn self?

she turned away from him to set her diadem down, then to remove her own gorget and ease herself out of her freshly-polished greaves. “ can we take a bath? ”

‘ i don’t think you should ever grovel before that drunken usurper cunt of a king, ’ thanatos scowls, but it is an ephemeral one. he does not sit openly in defiance of their king, despite his preference for the prince. her pride may be too great, mind, but thanatos is not above asking zagreus for help, not when he spent so long denying himself the comforts of the other in a piss-poor attempt of self-sacrifice. he knows megaera’s frustrations with her sisters, just as he has his frustrations with his brothers. ( being the eldest means you have such a burden, and despite charon’s seniority, his absence from the house makes thanatos the de facto lead. )

‘ we can do whatever you want, ’  thanatos replies honestly, and he guides her into the next room over, the obsidian-laid and granite-basined bathroom, where a large fountain bath means that he he and as many trodden souls as he’d like can enjoy the skull-themed bath, as oils and soaps and tinctures line the northern shelving. luckily for thanatos, and unlucky for most, megaera is one of three that gets to frequent this place. 

megaera could only close her eyes in response to his cool embrace and allow him to move her. she was not obedient or docile by nature, but death’s gentleness was a welcome breach of her defense. where her sisters would balk at any show of vulnerability and curse her for a moment’s weakness, thanatos beheld the emotions she hid from the rest of the house without judgment — safety, solace incarnate.

moments of doubt pushed her toward the familiar: doling out extra lashes to the deserving souls in tartarus, and drowning herself parchmentwork and strong beverages in the house when that was not enough. normally, losing herself in her work was enough to push down whatever grievances stirred within her. megaera knew how to fight, but not with herself. she knew better than to bury herself in earth and darkness. thanatos would stay with her until the overwhelm passed.

she drew in a breath to compose herself before she met his gaze once again. “ the tower, ” she affirmed. a bath, fresh robes, and the comfort of his bed would do her good. her grip on his hand reflexively tightened as they were bathed in a flash of green light, but all of the tension left her body once she recognized their surroundings. now that they were hidden from all watchful eyes, she allowed her limbs to feel their aching weight as she leaned against him. “ than … i’m exhausted. ” please stay with me.

the green is familiar, comfortable, and quick as thanatos teleports them far away from the oppressive rule of the house and into the comforts of his tower. it is a large, dominant, stygian thing, one crafted of thanatos’ own will and enforced by the rule of his mother. it is a place of safety, and solace, and now that he is here, he remembers why he had it built. he feels safe here.

perhaps that is what megaera wants, he thinks, that safety. she has such a burden on her shoulders ( the same burden that sits on his own, on zagreus’ ) that is unknown to the average eye. he holds her on the ground floor of his tower, letting her lean against him. he was strong enough to keep them upright; he was, after all, the heir of nyx and the eldest of her deathbearing spawn. he had the strength to protect them, to protect his twin and elder brother, to protect everyone. he had to– that was his responsibility. liberation in death.

" no, not hypnos, " she murmured as she slowly pulled away from his embrace to reach for the clasp on his gorget. she maneuvered the lock with practiced ease, and once she carefully lifted it from his shoulders and set it down on the nearby table, she removed her diadem from her head and held it in both hands. " it's always them, " she snarled as she stared at the purple gemstone set into it, as though she was inspecting it for the first time. " i can't have any peace as long as i have to work with them. " peace was a luxury few ( perhaps none ) in the house could afford, but at the very least she wanted to work without any unnecessary disturbances. " i won't grovel before hades again, but ... i don't know much longer i can take this. " her pride kept her from asking zagreus to make another headstrong petition: defend megaera's honor, since she's far too weak to do it her damn self?

moments of doubt pushed her toward the familiar: doling out extra lashes to the deserving souls in tartarus, and drowning herself parchmentwork and strong beverages in the house when that was not enough. normally, losing herself in her work was enough to push down whatever grievances stirred within her. megaera knew how to fight, but not with herself. she knew better than to bury herself in earth and darkness. thanatos would stay with her until the overwhelm passed.