drowning in a sea of fear

You know that feeling when you look at scissors, a razor, a knife or at a sharpener and people don’t even realize you’re thinking about cutting and suicide…

My soul is tortured with love and lust and hate, my cracked lips are unkissed for a million days. My infected heart, it’s bleeding in this cage, I’m losing my dignity, not got long left to wait.

“You thought I stopped talking to you because I got bored. However, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m in love with you so much. I love you and it’s killing me because you won’t ever feel the same way. You look at me but you do not see me. Not with stars in your eyes or with a sense of awe. Not with love. So I’m sorry it seemed like I disappeared. For a while I was selfish and wanted to still keep you in my life. It didn’t work out like that. I realized that it didn’t matter if I left or if I stayed because it would all hurt the same.”