the moonlight carries the message of love

whats so sad about this moment is this is literally mamoru telling usagi goodbye. he’s going to starlight tower knowing that he will most likely die. and just in case he does, he wants to tell her goodbye. this is his way of doing it. he tells usagi she’s cheerful today and she says “well excuse me for being a cheerful girl” to which he says that he hopes she stays that way. what he doesnt say is that he lives for their little interactions, that he loves to annoy her, not to be mean, but because he genuinely likes her outbursts. he loves to get under her skin, he loves every moment of their little interactions. but he’s not going to tell her that. not now, maybe he might have, but now things were changing and he’s probably not gonna make it out of this fight alive. so he does what he does best- clam up. he tells her to take care and he walks off, leaving usaig standing there, knowing something just isnt right.

of course she does though, how can she not? this isnt the mamoru she interacts with. this isnt the mamoru she’s begun to know so well. where’s his usual sass, his witty comeback that always leaves her red faced and frustrated, but with her heart beating so much faster? where’s his little chuckle and his wave, things she’s grown so used to. she recognizes immediately that something about this is oh so wrong.

and thats when she sees the blood. 

is he hurt? she asks herself as worry fills her eyes. she’s watching him walk away from her and suddenly, the side of her that cares for everyone perks up. she cant let him go on that way, not without someone there at his side. this is mamoru, she’s not supposed to like him, but there’s that part of her that does. she cant ignore the voice in the back of her mind thats telling her to follow after him. 

well here we have it

probably the first ever moment of mamoru feeling helpless, of feeling like he failed in his duty to sailor moon. of course, right now he doesnt even know her true identity yet, but he feels SO STRONGLY about what has just happened this night. 

sailor moon / usagi wasn’t even HURT that bad, but he still feels terrible about what has happened. because he was tricked by zoisite, he was injured, and couldn’t do anything when usagi and the others were trapped by kunzite. instead, he could only watch and listen to their cries of pain until they were rescued by venus. he had no power to fight back with and it was all his fault. he made a mistake and it could have cost those girls their lives- it could have cost sailor moon her life, and man does that bother him. it doesnt matter that he’s hurt so much worse, that he’s aching and bleeding and probably needs to go to the hospital, but nope, none of that matters to him right now. all that matters is what he’s failed to do. the one thing he’s out there to do, protect sailor moon, help her along, and he coudn’t even do that.

i imagine mamoru thinks back to this moment often in the future- whenever he makes a mistake, he’s reminded of this very first time. we all know how mamoru is- his lack of self esteem and faith in himself is overwhelming. but i feel like this is a moment that sticks with him for life- the first time he ever fails. the first time he doesnt protect her. mamoru remembers this moment as vividly as if it had only just happened. this is a defining moment for him, the moment when he swears to himself it doesnt matter what happens to him, from then on he’ll do whatever he has to to protect sailor moon.

YAYYY our girls are FINALLY together.

let’s all take some time to digest this moment

first of all, i love that rei has yet to speak. i like to imagine she’s speechless over this blonde beauty that’s jsut shown herself. 

a hundred thoughts must be running rampant through all of their minds, honestly and i love that its usagi who asks what they’re all probably thinking: are you our princess? unlike the manga, venus doesnt go this route. i really dont understand why they didn’t do it that way. that plot point was so important to me in the manga and i feel like it fit overall with the story. it gave usagi a bit more reason to be brave and to fight, because she felt liek she had someone to protect. it gave her guardianship so much more meaning in those few hours/days that she thought venus was the princess.

but, what i love MOST about this scene is usagi’s reaction. sailor v-chan (still crying over this btw) is her idol, who she aspires to be. and now she’s ON HER FREAKING TEAM. she’s her comrade, someone she’s going to fight alongside. she’s so excited and adorable and look at her SHINE over venus joining their team. 

but she's so quick to put her faith in the starlights because they're senshi too. if they're senshi, then surely they can understand one another. and then michiru points out that their enemies are senshi too and that shuts usagi up, but it doesnt make her feel any better. the starlights aren't their enemy. seiya isn't their enemy. and really this is even about the starlights- this is about her and seiya. at this moment, usagi seems to almost be viewing them as two different people, seiya and fighter. even though she knows who seiya is, she cant seem to separate them yet. "seiya is just seiya" she says, her voice so dejected. she's so tired of trying to be strong. she's so close to falling apart but she refuses.

so she runs

this is typical usagi behavior, running when the conversation is too tough, but that doesnt mean its over.

what i love about usagi is her ability to see the good in everyone, doesnt matter who they are or what they've done. her love knows no boundaries- even the worst of her enemies has felt the warmth of her love. the future scenes with galaxia and the previous scenes with nehellenia prove that. usagi's ability to love all- senshi, villian, civilian- is something special and unique to her. some might call her naive, that you cant fix everyone, and you cant touch everyone's hearts- but usagi really does her best to prove those things wrong. she knows better. she knows just how far a little bit of love can take a person. and she wants everyone to feel loved and cared for, no matter who they are.

but to usagi, of all people they should get along with it should be the starlights. they're all senshi and they all have a similar mission. its crazy because not so long ago, usagi was having these same thouhts about the outers. and maybe thats another reason this is just so important to her. because she was right the last time. because not so long ago, she knew they could all work together when none of the others did. and now look at them! they're one big, happy team. they could be like that with the starlights too, if only the outers would open their eyes and hearts

usagi is such a pure character

man i so DO NOT blame usagi for the freak out

she's fully capable of making her own choices- like, is it safe for her to meet up with seiya? even usagi would probably stop seeing her, IF THEY WOULD HAVE LET HER JUST SAY SORRY. like, for real this girl aims to please, and she trusts her friends. if haruka & the others say its not safe, well then maybe its not. but, damnit she wants to end things on her own terms. she wants to be able to look into seiya's eyes one last time and tell her she was sorry for everything and anything else she wanted to say. but the outers and the starlights are deciding for her (and for seiya!) that this wont happen. even though its not their decision to make, both sets of senshi are making it anyway.

and again, usagi probably WOULD stop seeing seiya, if only they'd give her the moment she wanted with her. they're making this into some huge deal for no reason. usagi could explain everything, they'd talk it out, and usagi would say some beautiful thing about "hey we'll see each other again once we beat galaxia!" and they'd go on their merry ways until their paths crossed in battle and like always happens, they're all brought together.

but nope, cant let that happen CAN WE?

look at how shocked haruka and the others are when usagi explodes tho. lmao its pure shock like "wtf" everyone is so used to usagi's tantrums and tears, but anger? noooo one is used to angry usagi. some would even venture to say she didnt even exist. but here she is and they're on the receiving end of her anger, which is even more surpising. but you cant blame usagi for being hurt and mad that everyone else is making her decisions without even consulting her.

ok fuck you guys for real

i get it, i get what the starlights are trying to do here... they only want to protect seiya/fighter and their princess. but damn, why you gotta be so mean??? unlike the inners (and much like the outers) the starlights refuse to see past their mission and feel no sympathy for those who get in their way. i feel for them- their home planet was destroyed, everyone and everything they ever loved is lost to them. except for kakyuu and they dont even know if she's alive. they hold onto the hope that she is, but if she's not? what meaning is left to their lives?

these are bitter, frightened, and sad senshi. these are senshi with nothing left to lose if their princess is gone. it's hard TO blame them, but man I'M GONNA BECAUSE DONT BE MEAN TO USAGI. she FEELS SO MUCH GUILT and they wont even acknowledge that. they cant. yaten has the grace to look bothered when seiya approaches after she hangs up the phone, but taiki is the one to say that this is for the best.

it doesnt even matter to them that seiya is hurting just as much as usagi is and that talking to her would benefit seiya too!!! they want whats best for her they say but ignore whats actually best for her when it doesnt suit their own state of mind.

ugh.

more friendship GOODNESS YES THANK YOU.

guys you already know how much i ADORE usagi and minako's relationship (its a lot, for those of you who dont) and this is a really important one.

here we have sad usagi with ami & mako doing their best to cheer her up with talk of cakes and whatever, but its not doing it. not even mako-chan's homemade cakes will pull usagi from her own thoughts right now.

but then here comes minako with the right answer, like she always does.

i truly feel like minako can read usagi better then anymore- even better then mamoru can. she knows what usagi's feeling right now:  concern for seiya. and she knows how she can fix it: get usagi in contact with seiya. so minako does what she does best- she snoops. she makes phone calls. she's contacts everyone and anyone she can until she has AT LEAST a phone number to give to usagi.

whats even better- minako doesnt even necessarily feel like this is the best choice for usagi. she may even downright agree with the outers approach (tbh i cant fully remember so this is speculation on my part lol) to this whole thing. usagi hanging out with seiya is going to get her hurt somehow and the inners cant just let that happen. rei and mako would fight tooth and nail to ensure they stay apart & ami would speak soft, calming words to try and explain why this has to be the way its done. but minako... she'd be stoic and silent, knowing that sure it was what was best for usagi, but at the same time she knows the only way to ease usagi's guilt is to bring them together again

its not what minako wants to do, but at that moment it was what was best for usagi. so minako got her that number and watched her run off with the first smile in days, knowing she'd done the right thing.

FIRST OF ALL EPISODE, HOW DARE YOU

i dont know what it is about seeing these girls do such NORMAL things like walking home from school. but man do i love it. i love seeing the little things that we all know go on. this is one thing ill give the original anime over the manga- the senshi interactions. seeing the bonds they form is just so special and wonderful in SO SO many ways!!

but whats so c U T E here is ami & mako doing their best to cheer usagi up. AMI DOING IT REALLY, LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE WINK!! all ami knows is usagi is sad and if usagi is sad SOMETHING MUST BE DONE. what does usagi like most? cake! cheer usagi up with cake, thats all ami can think of. she's so desperately wanting her to feel better and even ami will resort to lying to cheer up her friend.’

now where was i

oh right

oh you poor sweet angel

my heart is breaking for this girl

(although i am wondering why she’s still referring to seiya as a boy, when she knows she’s star fighter)

but here we go all over again, someone hurting themselves in order to protect her. she’s seen this happen SO MANY TIMES & its never gonna get easier to witness. her friends lives are constantly on the line for HER and seeing the people she loves hurts usagi so deeply. like, the amount of worry and guilt on her mind right here must be agonizing. not to mention she’s still shouldering the loneliness of being without hearing from mamoru all on her own. & OF COURSE you know, there’s that minor threat from galaxia against the whole fucking galaxy.

and she’s dealing with all of this ALONE.

AHHH JUMP RIGHT IN TO WHAT I LOVE

outer senshi dramatics!

first of all, i cut like an inch off maker’s forehead, so YOURE WELCOME 

second of all, aint it some shit that they’re yelling about exactly what they had planned to do to hotaru like, two seasons ago? like, taking out hotaru was, in their mind, what had to be done for their benefit (along with the world’s yeah, i know but still). it didnt matter if it hurt someone else, so long as they did what they had to do.

the starlights feel the same way- do whatever THEY have to do to protect their princess. doesnt matter who gets hurt in the process. both mentalities are wrong, because its never okay to hurt someone to get what you want, even if its to help someone else