Disorder

not been here on a while and I don't know who needs to see this but if you ever feel like it's impasible to recover from the damage someone has done to you, when they've had control over you for years and ruined life as you knew it. you can move past it, you can and you will

is there any weirder way to top off a west weekend than ending up being sat on the train with madeline mccan's dad

lol wonder if I'll ever grow up and actually kms

I'm honestly making the most positive changes to my life and trying my hardest to better myself but so many things keep happening to set me back and I don't know how to cope with any of it. I've been treated so badly recently and I have a shit ton of stuff going on within my family which is all making me anxious and think irrationally and I just feel like a worthless ugly fuck up who doesn't deserve any happiness

not many people understand how draining it is to overthink everything you ever do/say to people and create scenarios in your head about problems that don't even exist, I get overwhelmed even holding a conversation sometimes

can't even describe how distressing and humiliating uni was for me yesterday i legit never want to go there again atm

being horrible to myself feels so fucking good sometimes

please deal with stuff as you're experiecing it or at least soon afterwards and don't internalise it for very long periods of time because I'm scared it's too late for me now

is it bad enough to make me want to kill myself? probably

I'm definitely sure I had a nervous breakdown back in January, I slept for 14 hours for about a week and didn't eat anything or go to work, but it was brushed under the carpet and I covered it up quite well

I have to talk myself out of killing myself every single day