Lost In My Mind

The nerves Sid had weren't so much like the type that would make a person feel on the verge of being sick, it was more like...champagne bubbles - it was nice and made her a little giddy. She tried to play everything fairly casual when it came to the topic of Stephanie with her friends, but her smile when she said 'I have a date' pretty much shot that all to hell. Nadia, best roommate and best friend ever of course came in clutch when it came to outfit selection and Tino...sure was there doing his best, reminding Sid to take a few condoms on her way out, so he clearly was mostly waiting on Sid to get out of the apartment so he and Nadia could have it to themselves. Or he was high. Or both. Either way, Sid had been making good time but for some reason there was a line at the florist shop and it knocked her off of her scheduled arrival time by about 5 minutes, but at least she wasn't empty handed. "Hey Suze. Sorry I'm a little late." She was already fighting back a grin between taking in the sight of Steph and receiving the compliment, "No you do too. Really fucking good." She answered Steph by stepping forward and giving the blonde an only slightly prolonged kiss hello, then stepped back and held the flowers out, "Here, I'm not a flower expert but I thought you would think they were pretty. I liked the colors, they reminded me of you."

Steph noticed the flowers as she moved closer, her smile undeniably goofy but she chose to kiss her back first, cupping her cheeks with both hands to hold her there for a moment. "They're perfect; you're right. I do love the colors." She pulled them up to her nose and closed her eyes for a moment. "I knew you were a romantic." Another kiss before she slid her hand into Sid's and led her into the restaurant. Soon enough they were sitting at a table near a window and Steph was feeling some of the nerves settle as they sat across from each other. She pulled a menu towards her but didn't look at it much. "So are you a more 'I want my own meal' person or a let's share everything on the table person? I'm the latter so you know, could be a deal breaker but you look so cute sitting across from me I'm pretty sure I'd say yes to anything right now." It felt good to flirt, good to be under her gaze and have her sitting across from me, and Steph felt like she deserved to feel good.

"Yeah, I know a Northside rich bitch when I see one. Tomorrow? Wow you're not wasting time. I'll be there but don't worry about that okay? I think I'd freak myself out before you freak me out, and I'm feeling pretty calm right now." She must have said the right thing because it earned Sid another kiss from Steph, "Yeah, I know what I'm doing, but if embarrassing is what you want, they'll gladly give it to you I'm sure as hell not." Sid stayed where she was, observing Steph, "You're so sexy, like goddamn how am I supposed to concentrate? I'll do my best." When Steph held her hand out, Sid got up and did the same mirror check, though she was going to get those looks regardless, "Something like that." Before Steph could open the door, Sid stopped her and spun her around, pinning her against said door and kissing her one more time. "Okay, now I can resume host duties."

"Like a really bougie one with a bougie fashion designer for a dad and who travels around with literal professional basketball players. But that sounds actually amazing, bad breath be damned, that's what toothbrushes are for. I am so down for that." And she was, excited for both the meal and the company in near equal measure. "Hi." Sid said with a soft laugh and a quirked eyebrow as Steph looked at her as if to say 'what are you looking at?' "I'd like that but I don't have embarrassing stories, just perfect princess ones. But maybe stay away from Aimee and Franco they're liars."

"Okay well fair, I am all of those things but you know, I put my sneakers on one at a time just like everyone else. Good, I'll make the reservation tomorrow then." Stephanie actually blushed. "Just making sure I'm not freaking you out." She rolled her eyes before moved herself slowly back up to press a kiss to Sid's lips. "I think even a perfect princess has her moments but you have to know warning me is only going to make me want to do it more." Another kiss, this one slow and sweet, Steph's attempt at bottling this moment up for herself in her memory. And then she's rolling off of her, fixing her hair and checking herself out in Sid's mirror before holding her hand out. "Come on, princess. You have host duties."

The atmosphere between them was charged, Sid didn't know what had spurred her to make it a point to invite Steph tonight, but it was feeling a lot like it was supposed to happen. They had been careful around one another for their own reasons and even still had become closer somehow on their very own solid ground. The sound of Steph gasping had Sid grinning against the blonde's neck, letting smug satisfaction take the front seat and not the fact that the sound caused a distinct feeling between her legs. The next time they kissed, Sid indulged in burying her hands in Steph's hair, messing it up no doubt. She allowed herself to be laid down completely and closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of Stephanie's lips on her body. When she opened her eyes and was met with the most amazing vantage point, 'fuck it' was on the top of her tongue, but she tempered herself enough and settled on running her fingers through Steph's hair, "Nope, no allergies. What kind of food are you thinking? You should know I've been to a few richie restaurants and some are cool, but the ones with those little portions are not my vibe. We've got to go back out there soon, but not just yet. I like this too much."

Steph bit back a smile as she felt Sid's fingers in her hair. After the day she had it was a welcome comfort. She felt herself relax, even if her heart had been racing just a moment before. "How much of a bougie bitch do you think I am?" She laughed, pressing her lips to Sid's stomach before grazing the skin light with her teeth. "I don't go to restaurants to not eat. I was actually thinking of one of my favorite greek places. I used to go to it all the time with my Mom when she still lived here. Their fries are like these thinly sliced potatoes with feta and onions and lamb if you want which I realize will make for a very...potent make out afterwards but I promise I'll bring a variety of breath mints." She glanced up at Sid for a moment, studying her face for any sign of her freaking out but then she said she liked this and Steph rest back against her, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm in no rush. But I'd like to actually get to know your friends. I can see how important they are to you. Plus, who else is going to tell me all of your embarrassing stories?"

"I don't know, guess you'll just have to stick around to find out. There's an infinite amount of things I could call you when you think about it.' She wasn't sure how literal Steph's statement was, but if she liked to lead that worked for her because she was a princess at heart, and though she didn't regret all of the efforts she put in for Bridget, there were moments where she could have stood with being the one who could sit back and let the other take care of things. Sid smiled into the third kiss, scooting her body that much closer to Steph's while her hand snaked to the back of the blonde's head. "I just knew you'd swoon over me. What, did you think I really needed to stretch all of a sudden earlier?"

Sid listened and she listened intently. She wouldn't say she was well versed in poetry, but she could absorb with the best of them and they were pretty and felt oddly tranquil, "You and Mary Oliver are real acquainted, I see. I like that though, almost makes me want to wake up early one of these days and try it. Probably not anytime soon, but..." Sid crinkled her nose in distaste at Suzie, "Or even worse, Suze." They laughed together and it felt nice, being this close and sharing her bed. It also wasn't lost on her, this was the most intimate she'd been with someone in quite some time. When they kissed, Sid's palm laid flat on Steph's chest, right above her heart and she languished in it. After a few moments she pulled back and caught Steph's eyes again, "Oh, Suze, you kiss me breathless!" She laughed again, "No actually that was..." Sid leaned in again, as if she needed more research to think of the right way to classify their kiss when really she just wanted to again. "Honestly? If you hadn't tonight I was going to. You beat me to the punch, richie."

Steph tried to remember the last time she had a real first kiss, one that mattered and was more than just a passing interest. Of course she had thought about kissing Sid before but this, this was...nice. Nicer than she had expected and she was still leaning into her when they pulled away briefly. "Is you calling me Suze gonna become a thing?" She was teasing, her chest warm with the idea of them having an inside joke. She kissed her back, one of her arms moving to slide around Sid's waist so she could pull her closer. "What can I say? I like to lead," she teased, actually endeared by being called richie. It felt so old school Rosewood that it made her want to kiss her again, so she did, this time deepening it slightly as her hand stayed firmly at the dip of Sid's back. She pulled back after a moment, forehead pressed against Sid's. "You just knew I'd swoon over your art, didn't you?"

"I forgot the confidence you have, means its been too long since I've seen you." Sid said with a small laugh, "I'm not sure you're lucky enough to ever wake up next to me. Early riser? Eww go away, what are you trying to prove?" She shook her head, "No that's cool, I don't snore so we can still make it work. Send me some Mary Oliver poems so I can know how the two of you see poems." Sid's eyes moved from Steph's to their hands and her own slid up from her necklace to her neck, dragging her fingers lazily exploring, "Well I did text you so you could say the feeling is mutual. I don't know how silly it has to feel though. We've been in each other's orbit for a little bit now. It would be weirder if I was like 'whats your name again? Suzanne?"

Steph laughed at her response but was feeling less guarded the more they sank into her mattress. So she was quiet for a moment before speaking the words that had come to mind at the mention of Mary Oliver. "there is still somewhere deep within you a beast shouting that the earth is exactly what it wanted–each pond with its blazing lilies is a prayer heard and answered lavishly, every morning, whether or not you have ever dared to be happy, whether or not,you have ever dared to pray." She leans into Sid's touch and smiles. "She reminds me to stop and take everything in. I mean shit moves so fast, especially around here. It can feel hard to hear your own thoughts. But in the morning, when it's just me and the birds? I can hear it all." She almost snorted as she laughed. "I'd make a terrible Suzanne. Ew, imagine if everyone called me Suzie?" She pretended to gag and shook her head. After a moment she took a breath and shifted closer to Sid, meeting her eyes for a moment. "I'm gonna kiss you now," she whispered, before doing just that, feeling like she finally let out a breath she was holding the moment her lips touched Sid's.

"Oh shit, I didn't see that coming, but yeah, I think I'd love to." An internal 'fuck' rang out in her head, because she would be Sid's first date since Bridget and that made her feel a little strange, but not bad. "Not in my experience, I'm like my dad's little princess but maybe it could be like an only child. I hope he appreciates you at least." Sid offered sincerely without prying. Sid's eye contact with Steph broke when they started talking about art and she groaned, "I know, I know still getting used to all of it. I've only been doing it for a few months and that's the biggest block I've done so far so I'm going really slowly so I don't fuck it up, that's about 4 days worth of work on and off. I keep going between wood an lino, I like them both for different reasons." She rolled her eyes about her bed at Steph, "Fuck off, the only thing soft about me is my bed. Firm bed people are so obnoxious. From her bed, she playfully taunted, "No, you're not allowed in here anymore, put your shoes back on." Still, she occupied the space next to Steph, electing to lay on her side, head propped up by her hand, "Sleep in, but it's usually never past 10. What about you? And why did that question pop into your head?" She asked while reaching out playing with the pendant on Steph's necklace idly.

"Yeah? Me neither. But I think it'd be nice. Not that I don't enjoy talking over the reverb of your speakers." She was glad Sid said yes, not realizing how much she wanted her to until she said it. "Only child? So beyond my reality. He does, he loves me and he spoils me when he can but he's just kind of a mess." She was grateful for the distraction and twice as grateful that it meant putting a light on Sid's talent for a moment. "Well I can't wait to see it when it's done. If you'll show it to me. I'd really like to see it." Steph didn't know how much her body needed her to lie down and she enjoyed the softness afterall. She smiled when she felt Sid reach out for her necklace and leaned into her touch. She moved to rest on her slide, reaching out to brush her fingers along Sid's cheek, then under her chin. It made her finger tips feel like they were tingling. "I figure if the memory foam does it's job then at some point I'll be waking up next to you. Gotta know if I'd be waking up to a grump or not. I'm an early riser. I like mornings. I like watching the sunrise sometimes. I do a lot of morning rituals, ways to try to ground myself before everyone starts emailing and calling. If you've ever read any Mary Oliver poems about how she views mornings, that's kind of how I feel about it." She let her hand slide down to rest on one of Sid's. She met her eyes and smiled. "I missed you," she finally found herself saying. "Which feels silly but it's true."

"I'll accept it, just because it's you though." Sid tried to just let Steph do her thing, but she gravitated towards the blonde eventually, explaining pictures here and there, "Mmm there's a story there. Here's hoping he can come through a little more, you can't be the only one in the Finch army holding down the fort. Glad I could help though and glad you showed." After a brief pause from Sid's very honest statement, she brought Steph over to her desk where several carving tools and a slab of wood with an image of an old train car on it that was half carved out laid. "I found a new medium recently, relief printing. This was a picture I took a while back that I really like but basically once I'm done carving this, I'll ink it and press it on paper like a giant wooden stamp almost and ta-da, they call it art." After they changed subject, Sid looked back at her bed, then put her cup down, "What do you think? Answer quick." She told her as she pulled Steph by the hand to the bed and sat, "Memory foam, do you approve of my bed? I mean could you see yourself here someday soon?"

Steph was grateful for the added backstory, mostly so she didn't feel like she was looking at Sid's room like a museum but more like a living and breathing thing. "There is a story there. One I'll tell you some time if you let me take you out to dinner." It wasn't something Steph realized she really desired until she said it, but the thought of them sharing more than just heavy flirting wasn't terrifying to her. "Maybe but isn't that why people have daughters? To hold all the shit together?"She shrugged it off, not wanting to wade into the complicated relationship she had with her parents. "I'm glad I showed too." She met her eyes as she said it, hoping Sid could sense the sincerity in her words. "What do you mean they call it art, Sid this is art." She stepped forward to gently touch the block, smiling as she felt the grooves and tried to imagine Sid sitting at this desk and giving it all of her careful attention. "I love it. How long did this one take you? Wood carving is such a delicate skill."

"You wanna see my apartment, you wanna see my art, are you nosy or just interested in my life?" Sid smirked then nodded, "I can show you some stuff for sure, it's back in my room so we'll make it the last stop. One of these days you'll have to really paint a picture for me as to what you do with the team." Nevermind the fact that Sid found it weirdly sexy when Steph started talking about sports even though she could care less about them, what Steph's day to day was that kept her so busy was hard to picture. Okay come on, tour." Sid took a sip from her cup then took Steph's hand again, pointing out things in the living room, kitchen, hallway, and balcony that made their apartment a home; things like funny stories or how some piece of decor was acquired. She introduced the blonde to a few people along the way and as promised, the last stop was her room which wasn't messy but was a little chaotic, much like Sid herself, "And this is my room, be it ever so humble. Feel free to look around, unless you're all toured out." She told her as she closed the door, catching a glimpse of Nadia and Tino playfully humping to taunt her. "Low key I wasn't sure if you'd even see my text. In my head you're always busy and shit."

"Is both an acceptable answer? It's definitely both but it does feel exciting to see the place you call home." Stephanie wondered for a moment what she'd think of Steph's apartment but tucked that thought away. She was here now and wanted to be present. This time when Sid took her hand, she linked their fingers together, happily following her through the party. She listened to her stories with real attention, sipping her drink slowly as she met new people and felt the stress of the day fall away from her. "You saved the best for last and you think I'm all toured out? Don't you know I'm an appreciator of art?" She glanced back at Sid with a smile before setting her drink aside so she could look around more. She didn't want to seem eager but she started with the pictures she had around. "I am always busy and shit. But your text was like the life saver in the water. I needed." She turned away from the photos and looked at Sid. "My Dad can get a little intense when he has a big event in town. He always needs help and I've always been the one to step up to help because my brother can be unreliable. Or was, I don't know he's working on it." She waved off the rest of the context. "So your invite was a welcome break from all of that chaos. I think I might actually crash out if I see another strawberry." She pulled them back to the room and glanced at Sid's bed. "So are you more of a firm mattress or memory foam girlie?"

Sid took Steph's hand once she was standing loosely and led her over to the mixers table and since she had no idea where her last cup was she mixed herself a drink as well, not precious about whatever she mixed in the slightest, but she did elect to use Steph's tequila, "Uhh a lot of art so I guess it wasn't just a fluke. Besides that, I'm still working down at the tattoo parlor as reception and working on bikes with Nadia, it's been a good summer honestly. What about you? Anything fun?"

"Oh yeah? Any you want to show me? I'm very curious to see what brings you muse." She took a test sip of her drink, thinking it over before pouring a bit more tequila. "That sounds really nice. A good way to enjoy the pace that summer shoulder have," she told her and held up her cup, tapping it gently against Sid's cup before taking a sip. "Yeah, I mean it's been busy. I work for a team that mainly plays in the summer so I've been traveling a bit but I took a few weeks off. I'm exhausted," she admitted. "I slept thirteen hours last night and that was very, very fun."