Life Is Sooo Hard When Youre This Sexy

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

brazilians, imagine you’re a famous futebol player and are about to hit the winning penalty kick at the world cup finals. accidentally, the referee tosses a christian baby at you. would you still kick the baby to the goal and win the hexa championship, and sacrifice the christian baby?

You're just saying that because your a sick pervert who gets off to themes and ideas

But the randomized control trial that was actually performed (second link) found no evidence that parachutes prevent mortality! (because they could only recruit people willing to jump off small, landed aircraft)

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steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

running over faeries in my riding lawnmower not on purpose im trying to swerve but they literally love it i dont know why theyre like giggling and pushing eachother in front of me wherever I try to mow .

Does anyone have the touhou “flesh flesh I want soda beverage” post?

what’s the opposite of a poor little meow meow. this man is pathetic but he’s unfathomably cocky and i want to make him cry

woem woem

hold up mfers in the notes saying" Stupid big bark bark" are onto something

my favourite genre of gay fiction is "making out would have been a lot less gay than whatever this bullshit is"

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"