now, what?

It’s going to be OK. You know exactly what you need to do. Just get the courage and strength to do it. Be strong for all the new people in your life, all the new connections and experiences.

You give me joy and hope, re-energized my lost soul. I know you are hurting and you need support. That’s why I am here. I’ll share with you my light, have it guide you to where you need to be. I’ll let my warmth heal you, I’ll show you every part of me. You have given me the hope I so longed for, I so craved. I need to bounce back.

I’m sorry that the world has done you wrong. I can promise that I can change that, I want to protect you, I want to go through struggles with you. I want to hug you.

I am scared too, I am frightened and alone. 

I hoped and prayed it was you...

but it wasn’t.

I was ready to love you, but I wasn’t being fair to myself. 

I write these thoughts down so I can release myself from this love. 

I’ll stick around for as long as I can. 

until that time comes,

thank you.

i took a trip thinking of you, i took a trip to reaffirm my decision to grow than love. thinking that maybe this time it would be different. truth be told, it wasn’t.

i’ve always wanted it to be you. i’ve always wanted to go back as a better person. ask you questions we didn’t have answers to. i can confirm that i was the only one holding on to these hopes, as you shrugged them off.

that’s the only answer i needed. that’s the closure i needed...

you will always be the first love i’ve ever felt, may not be the realest but it was a blueprint of pure bliss. i still thank you for that as my next relationships hardly lasted as long as ours. this isn’t me “finally moving on” no, I’ve moved on long ago. it’s me finally acknowledging that...

we were never meant to be. thank you for pushing me to become who i needed to be, for myself and for the people i care about. you were one of those people. 

thank you.

2015

You took away family, yet you gave me friends.

You took away the monotony, but you gave me experiences.

You gave me challenges, but I had the freedom.