Overtale Texts

Why did Burgy send that face?!

This was the only thought running through the head of Ned Narry, Nice Cream entrepreneur, as he stared down at the last text message his Best Friend had sent him. What did a smirking emoticon mean!? Burgy was not one to use emojis lightly, so this had to be a big deal!

Ned felt his heart clench painfully. He so desperately wanted to believe that such a face meant that Burgy either a) knew about Ned’s crush and liked him back, or b) didn’t know about his crush and still liked him. But that couldn’t be it, right? The cat had seemed so unaware of his feelings so far… Though he couldn’t deny that being called Burgy’s Best Friend made his heart soar~ Going from Best Friends to Boyfriends was just a few letters away!!

Taking a deep breath, Ned regretfully pocketed his phone and went to grab his coat and the flyer before heading out. He could always obsess over what a single emoji meant later… But while he was thinking of this, he remembered something very important - he had to get a picture of Burgerpants for his contact!! Now that they were Best Friends, “shyness” or “feeling too pathetic for a picture to be taken” was no longer an excuse!

~~~~~~~~~

“You’re going to do great, Burgy!” Ned whispered. Everyone at the audition had just gotten a piece of paper with a little monologue on it, and they had around ten minutes to decide on how they wanted to perform it - but they could still read off of the paper. Thank goodness they didn’t have to memorize it! Ned didn’t think he could handle that, nor could Burgy, by the terrified look on his face.

“Thanks, Ned,” he whispered back, staring tensely at his paragraph.

Ned hooked his chin over Burgy’s shoulder to read it. It was something about a woman’s hand being stuck to her cheek by Crazy Glue? That sounded painful… But there were a few funny lines in there! He was sure Burgy could deliver this without any problems!

“Don’t be nervous, okay?” Ned told him, testing the waters and wrapping his arms around Burgy’s waist. Holding him like this felt so nice~

“Uh…” Burgerpants swallowed a bundle of nerves and turned his head to look at Ned, a light blush to his cheeks. “Your hug is kind of making me more nervous.”

“Oh!” Ned immediately removed himself, laughing awkwardly. “Sorry!” Burgy must be the type to not want to be touched when he was worried. Oh, no, that means putting his chin on his shoulder was probably too much, too...! Idiot, Ned! “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Burgerpants took a deep breath and looked back at his monologue. “What’s yours about, anyway?”

“Hm…” Ned looked down at it, and immediately felt like laughing. “Something about a girl complaining about a guy not having called her in three days.” Ha, at least he never had to go through that with Burgy.

“We both got women monologues?” Burgerpants asked, giving a big, fake grin. “Figures. Not even local theater takes me seriously.”

“Hey, don’t say that!” Ned reached forward to hug him again, but stopped himself. “I think it was just random assignment - and it takes more skill to act as the opposite gender!!”

“I guess…” Burgy still stared at his monologue like it was a death sentence. It was honestly breaking Ned’s heart. “We should go practice these alone for a bit.”

“Right.” Ned smiled softly and hesitated before patting his shoulder twice. “Break a leg, Burgy! You’ll do great!”

“Thanks.” He nodded and stiffly turned, walking off to a corner somewhere as he mumbled his monologue to himself.

Ned sighed, watching him go. The poor cat… his nerves would be the only thing standing in his way. He knew Burgy could be a great actor! Whenever they quoted movie lines, Burgy always hit them spot on, and he was already naturally dramatic - and had such an expressive face! He was perfect for theater! He could only hope that he’d be able to let loose once he was on stage.

Ten minutes later, and everyone was called to take their seats. “We’ll call your names in a random order one by one, and you’ll deliver your monologue to us.”

“With everyone watching?” Burgy whispered to Ned, visibly shaking.

“It’ll be okay,” Ned whispered back, reaching over to take Burgy’s hand to squeeze it comfortingly. “You can do it. I believe in you!”

Someone’s name was called, but since it wasn’t theirs they didn’t really care. Well, Ned didn’t - he cared more about trying to calm Burgy down. He gently rubbed his thumb across the back of the cat’s paw, hoping the simple action would soothe him. It seemed to do the trick, and by the end of the first monologue he wasn’t shaking anymore.

“Thanks, Ned,” Burgerpants whispered to him, reaching over to give his hand a grateful squeeze.

“You’re welcome.” Ned smiled, filled with the desire to kiss him, or at least rest his head on his shoulder. Gah, that would be too much! Why was he like this? He was just a Best Friend for now!

“Next is,” one of the directors called, “uh, Burgerpants?”

Seriously? He wrote down the nickname that he hated?

Ned gave him a confused look as Burgy stood up, hastily walking towards the stage and tripping on the first step. Oh, Burgy… He almost couldn’t watch. Ned crossed his fingers together, repeating “Please do well!” over and over to himself. He watched as Burgerpants stood in the middle of the stage, stared out at the directors and fellow auditioners, and took a deep breath. Then he smacked his right hand to his cheek and began reciting.

“Alison!” Just the first word was packed with so much emotion that Ned smiled. Burgy was going to nail this. “Oh god, it’s me - it’s Linda. I, I, I... I glued my - I glued my hand to my cheek!” He started pacing across the stage, his expressive face getting to work to match his animated words perfectly. “I’m walking around the house trying every kind of product and I can’t get it off. Nothing will work! I crazy glued myself to myself!” He let out a crazed laugh, and Ned had to cover his mouth to keep from cracking up. “I was fixing the chair that my Aunt Fran sat in, you know, the one she broke with her fat ass. The wooden one! My Grandmother gave me that chair, so I decided to fix it. The wood glue didn’t seem to be working, so I crazy glued it!” He stopped, off on the side, and gave his “oh god what is my life” smile. “I was lying down underneath the chair,” his voice was the perfect volume to convey a quiet moment yet still carry across the auditorium, “gluing the entire bottom half of the seat because I noticed cracks, these small cracks and I figured, why not just cover the whole bottom with glue so it will be stronger and last longer?! But, but, but then the chair came apart, and the seat landed on my cheek, and I put my hand in front of my face to protect myself and my hand got stuck to my cheek - it all happened so fast!

“WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!”

Ned laughed quietly to himself when Burgy restarted his manic pacing, looking up at the ceiling with his “just keep smiling for the customers” grin. “I’m walking around the house like a complete ass and I have tried EVERYTHING!I I’ve tried soap, detergent, nail polish remover, windex, Febreeze, vodka, toilet bowl cleaner, Pine-sol, and Pledge! God knows what else, and my face looks swollen. Every time I try to pull my hand off my cheek it hurts way too much, like the skin wants to come off!” He stopped abruptly, turning to the audience as he shut his right eye as tight as could be. “MY EYE! My eye is burning and it keeps tearing up and I may go blind now because I’m beginning to see blurry, and so here I am walking around my house with one eye and one arm! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!? Alison? Hello? Alison? Are you there? Alison? ALISON?!”

Ned jumped when Burgy let out a hysterical, offended screech.

“You’re laughing? Are you laughing at me? You’re LAUGHING!? You bitch, my hand is stuck to my cheek and I’m going blind and you’re LAUGHING?!” He started laughing himself on the end of his own word, shaking his head. “I know, hahaha, I know this is actually kind of funny, but I want to laugh later - not now.” He started to sound more resigned now, as if finally coming to grips with his current situation. “Right now I need to get my hand off my cheek. I’m so afraid I’m going to have a permanent hand imprint on my face - like I’ve been bitch slapped for life. Please, I can’t go out in public like this, and I am too embarrassed to call up a hardware store and ask someone for help. Can you call for me, or come over? Please? I am losing blood circulation in my arm. Will you come? Yeah?! Oh thank Heavens, Allison - please hurry, I’m…” he started to sway on the spot, “feeling a bit faint…” The eye that was still open rolled back into his head, and he fell backwards. Ned jumped in his seat, worried that he had actually fainted, so it was with great relief that he saw Burgy twitch and slowly get up, finally removing his hand from his cheek.

The fellow auditioners started politely but enthusiastically clapping, and Ned gave a big smile before clapping louder than them all. He even stuck his fingers in his mouth and gave a whistle, which made Burgy blush as well as smile. That was a win, as far as Ned was concerned.

“Thank you,” the director said, obviously pleased with the performance. “You did some great work for just ten minutes of preparation.”

“Th-thank you,” Burgerpants replied, swallowing nervously. After an awkward pause, he started walking back to his seat, where Ned was giving him two big thumbs up and a bright smile.

“You did fantastic!!” Ned whispered once he was close enough.

“You think so?” Burgy asked, but the smile on his face betrayed that he felt good about it as he sat down.

“Yeah!” Ned laughed, unable to stop himself from giving his friend a hug, even if the armrest was between them.

“Thanks, Ned.” Said bunny felt like melting when Burgerpants returned his hug - wrapping his arms oh so perfectly around his neck. Oh man, if they were dating, this would be a perfect moment to kiss… Gah! Why!!

“Next we have - Ned Narry?”

“Guess I’m up!” Ned laughed nervously, but not because of the audition - but because Burgy gave him a little squeeze before releasing him.

“Break a leg,” Burgy returned the earlier sentiment as Ned stood up.

“Th-thanks!” He couldn’t stop the elated smile that came to his face, nor the way he gave three little bunny hops of excitement before remembering to walk. He couldn’t help it - Burgy was smiling and actually looking happy for once...! This was the best night ever!

(Insert: this is the monologue that Ned reads for his audition.) 

The Next Day.

THIS HAD TO BE A DREAM!!

Ned felt like singing to the world as he jogged down the street, an impossibly big smile on his face and his heart fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. Burgy liked him back, Burgy liked him back, Burgy liked him back~! Goodness, he had been so nervous when Burgy said he could see his crush… it took him ten minutes to respond! But thankfully everything worked out - it worked out so, so well!

Ned started running, just to get to Burgerpants’ house faster. Then he started laughing, because he felt ridiculous, and hopelessly in love, and he didn’t care if people were staring at him as he ran and laughed because he was going to go talk to his crush and get a kiss~! He never actually thought he’d get this far - he had almost started to accept the fact that he would be nothing but a friend, but he was never happier to be proven wrong!

It was honestly really surprising… Burgy was naturally hesitant and paranoid about other people, and always assumed the worst of them. But somehow, Ned had been able to earn his trust, enough to where mutual romantic feelings could grow. That thought specifically made his desire to hold Burgy close grow so big that he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself once he saw his dramatic cat~

By the time he arrived he was out of breath from running, yet he couldn’t stop bouncing in place as he rang the doorbell and impatiently waited for Burgy to open up. As soon as that door started to give, Ned launched forward, tackling Burgerpants in a hug immediately.

“I’m so happy,” Ned repeated himself in a hushed whisper, since he was rather close to his ears. He squeezed his kitty crush and started nuzzling his rabbit nose against his cheek. “So, so happy.”

“Y-yeah,” Burgy’s voice cracked, so he cleared his throat. Then he finally remembered to hug Ned back, which caused him to melt~ This was already so perfect, how could it get any better? “Uh, do you want to come in?”

“Right!” Ned laughed, standing up straight to just smile at Burgy, who was being shy and avoiding his eyes. It made his heart bubble up - being shy around someone was a very good sign of really liking someone~ “Hey now,” he laughed and leaned in to nuzzle their noses together. “Look at me, please?”

“O-okay…” Burgy mumbled, but he only managed to glance at Ned before turning shy again and looking away. Close enough!

“Let’s go!” Ned excitedly pushed Burgy inside, closing his front door behind them. They just stood in the first part of his apartment for a moment, much the same as they had been at the doorway - one shy and the other bursting with excitement.

“I,” Burgy started to speak, swallowing nervously and playing with his hands. “I don’t really know what you’re expecting.”

Ned laughed - he felt so overjoyed, he just had to. “Come on!” Ned grabbed those fiddling hands and pulled Burgy over to the couch, sitting them both down before immediately cuddling up against his side. “I just want to be with you, like this.” He loved physical affection - it was one of the easiest ways to be nice and show your love! And just knowing Burgy felt the same way and was letting him get this close sent Ned’s heart into overdrive - like a thousand little kids beating on drums, like a hundred elephants stomping on the ground, like ten big, brass bands!

He knew he was way too excited for something so simple, but he couldn’t help it. Wasn’t everyone like this when they were first in love?

~~~ Burgerpants stared up at the ceiling anxiously as Ned cuddled up against him. T-they still… Hadn’t kissed yet… And… And… He groaned, whiskers twitching, tail slowly moving back and forth as he kneaded his paws into Ned’s fur. Ugh, what was he waiting for?! H-he needed to make the move first! …. Okay, maybe Ned needed to know his real name before they kissed.

Groaning quietly, he continued to flex his claws lightly and try to get comfortable. He supposed he had to wait for Ned to finish cuddling him.

He felt his anxiety skyrocket when Ned started shifting against him, lifting his head up to stare at him. Great, now he had to talk. Great, great great great greeeaaaat…

“Are you okay?” Ned asked, giving him that warm smile that always made him want to melt. H-he was too soft and those eyes were too cute…

“T-totally,” he tried to lie, face twisting up awkwardly.

Ned’s smile turned concerned, making his stomach twist as much as his face. “Burgy…” Did he have to say his name like that?? Like he was praying or something stupid like that? It wasn’t even his real name, dang it!

Burgerpants sighed, resting his head back and grumbling lowly, “Whiskers.”

The only thing Ned offered in return was a blank stare. “Whiskers? Yours or mine?”

“That’s my, uh, real name.” Whiskers mumbled, staring down at the ground, “Pretty pathetic.” He closed his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if Ned ended up hiding laughter at such a loser name.

“... Whiskers,” Ned tested the name, and for the life of him, Whiskers couldn’t figure out if he was disappointed or happy (like usual) or just neutral. “Whiskers,” Ned said it again, and he flinched when a hand caressed his cheek. “I like it.”

“Seriously?” Whiskers snorted and looked away, not believing him at all.

“Seriously!” Ned laughed, dropping his hand only to lean in and nuzzle his cheek with his nose again. “It’s cute, like you are!”

Whiskers flushed, but didn’t turn away. Instead, he chuckled, ruffling Ned’s ears. “Not as cute as you, but thanks I guess.”

He was able to witness the adorable sight of Ned blushing, and then beaming. “Heh - it’ll be harder to think of a cute nickname for Whiskers, though! Whisky? Skerty?”

Whiskers huffed, lightly batting Ned on the head with his paws. “Shush.”

Ned laughed again, reaching up to put his hands over his. “Oh, all right. I’ll call you Burgy and Whiskers, okay? Unless you don’t want me to!”

“I don’t care.” He sat up a bit, anxiously eyeing Ned’s lips. They were… so… close…

He felt incredibly small when Ned grinned, for the first time he had ever seen, and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. “Whiskers.” The way he whispered his name sent shivers down his spine. He had never known Ned could sound like th-that. “Can I kiss you?”

“P-please do.” Whiskers couldn’t help but babble, eyes widening comically.

Ned didn’t need a second invitation - almost too eagerly he closed the gap and kissed him. Just a firm press of their lips together, but it was enough to make it feel like a dam of emotions had just broken down.

Burgerpants, or Whiskers, had gotten used to the idea that he’d be all alone. After ruining his entire life at MTT Resort, and resigning himself to a tired life of customer service, he never would have thought that he’d actually matter to someone. That anyone would actually see anything worthwhile in him… But now, now he was happy. Things were finally looking up for him - Ned had helped him so much. He basically revived his life, helped him believe that things could get better, that he was good enough. And now he was actually excited, not exhausted, at the thought of being together with someone.

When their first kiss was done, seeing Ned smiling at him like a lovesick puppy was probably the best thing he had ever seen in his life. His cold heart was beating so fast, as if wanting to burst out and wrap itself in Ned’s warmth. It only got worse when Ned nuzzled him again.

“I could get used to that,” he whispered, laughing lightly.

“M-me too,” Whiskers replied, smiling weakly.

“Do you want another one?”

“Yeah.”

~The End~

(Author’s Note: just a little backstory; I told my friend awhile ago that I wanted to have the Christmas season chronicle the tale of NicePants getting together, complete with a fanfiction, so this was born. Unfortunately we were both so busy that this ended up being completed and written in like two days amidst Christmas parties and my job and every other busy thing that comes with the holidays. I still like it though!

Anyway, for those of you that read this far, I hope you enjoyed it! I might put this up on AO3 later, who knows.