Hey there...i didnt post in a long while...But something horrible happened last week...my fionce died and honestly I need to vent on a subject regarding this.
So many people don’t appreciate what they have, so many people put accent on temporary happiness...yes we may never know what true happiness is till we find it and we may never fully appreciate it till we lose it...
I had true happiness, he thought me what happiness is, he was my happiness...after finding him I didn’t need no expensive things, no fancy dates, no nothing. All I needed was him...I was the happiest when we stairs indoors chatting and doing nothing else...nothing else matters
My birthday is in a few days...for maybe 2 months everybody was asking me what I want as a present, including him....I needed and I still need nothing. All I wanted was to stay indoors with him, have some good Korean food and watch a movie...I can’t have that now...
What’s my point? Stop looking for happiness in material things, in objects ...stop appreciating the unimportant stuff more than the important ones...and if you have a partener , respect them, love them, give them all you have, cuz you never know what can happen and when.
I am soon to be 21 and he was soon to be 23...so young right? You would never expect this to happen...he was ill since he was small but he was so strong...so undistructable you would think. I gave him my everything, I took care of him in every way, shape of form I could think of...but it wasn’t enough, sometimes it just isn’t...so appreciate more the people you have next to you..care for them, love them.
And another sensitive topic...honestly I thought about killing myself, I knew how to do it, I could still just do it. But he fought his entire life to stay alive, he fought his illness to accomplish so much in this years he had, it would be a disrespect to him to do it...if life is hard, unfair...think about the people that loved you and still do, and fight, find a reason to fight, if not for you, for them.
We had everything, we were perfect, we never fought, we never disagreed...we were truly soulmates. We were engaged, he was meant to give me the ring on my birthday...we planed our wedding, we talked about kids and growing old together....and nothing will ever be the same, I will never move on, I will learn to live with it...he became a part of me forever.
I know it’s not nice...but I hope somebody will see this and it will help them. And if anybody goes through something similar and needs to talk, I’m here, you can write to me.
