Over Voracious

And little by little, I am starting to get used to the feeling of him not being around. I no longer feel the urge to look at my phone, nor check on his Facebook profile every ten minutes, or hope that maybe today he’ll talk to me. I am making my peace with the idea that this still may not be it and it’s okay.

I don’t want us to be like the regular couples that get into jealous fights only over valid reasons. I want us to get jealous and get mad at each other for no sensible reason. I want the fumes of jealousy to seep into our veins, I want us to breathe it like it’s the only supply of air we got and we’re already running low of it. I want us to get so used to it until we grow so tired of it that we start to hate it, fear it, avoid it. I want it to be an inescapable reminder of how it is the worst way we could kill ourselves so we’d choose never to use it. I want it to grow in us until we grow out of it; let it get bigger and bigger until we can no longer shelter it that we simply walk away from it.