GiveUp/GiveIn

Also Me: *starts reading and rewatching Normal People*

Me:

Also Me:

I have been safe and stable enough the past few months to pay off some debt and free up some money to be more financially secure when I move into a new place.

I am at a workplace where I am respected and compensated well enough that I can regain my independence and work toward financial stability.

I am prioritizing myself in all areas: Mind, Body, Spirit

I am feeling content with my life at the moment and don’t feel the need to seek validation. I’m not dating or planning to date. Romance is not a factor in my life at the moment.

I am feeling shakily optimistic.

People: *projecting their unprocessed trauma and insecurities onto me*

Me:

Sunday reading.

Like the second something goes right, something else goes really wrong.

I crave my independence but I can’t be independent and physically, emotionally, or mentally healthy.

I just don’t want to play this game anymore. I can’t win. I can’t even level up.

You can still hold space for someone even if you do not have the capacity to invest too deeply.

You can still show up for people in your life without sacrificing your own wants and needs.

You can still love someone without being in love with them.

Just losing sleep over a mediocre man who couldn’t be bothered to give me less than the bare minimum.

I quit. I fucking quit.