Outside the Scope

Your server is a human!

Your server is a human!

Your server is a human!

If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.

Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.

But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.

Redditors design worst volume sliders possible

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

ASTRONOMERS ARE THE SHITTIEST EVER AT NAMING THINGS I KID YOU NOT.

When it came time to name the two theoretical particle types that might be dark matter THEY INTENTIONALLY CHOSE THE NAMES SO THAT THE ACRONYMS WOULD SPELL “WIMPS” AND “MACHOS” I SHIT YOU NOT

“I’m walking down the street and I’m like ‘ooh pretty rock…’ and some Geologist is like ‘actually, that’s anorthosite feldspar’ and I’m like ‘Nevermind, I don’t want it anymore.’ Any biologists in the audience? [some clapping] Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The most important molecule in the human body, what did you name it? It has NINE SYLLABLES and it’s so long that even YOU GUYS abbreviate it as ‘DNA’!

See this beautiful creature?

It’s a carnivorous deep-sea sponge that lives off of Easter Island and never sees the light of day, as it’s about 9000 feet down. Those delicate-looking orbs are covered in millions of tiny hooked spines, which latch onto anything unfortunate enough to bump into it, and hold it in place as it is digested alive by the sponge’s skin.  Amazing, beautiful and profoundly creepy.  They could have given it so many cool names.  Could have drawn on mythology (I think Scylla would have been an appropriate reference), the region it was found in, the textured skin, PHAGOCYTOSIS, anything!  

You wanna know what they called it?

PING-PONG TREE SPONGE.

Engineer Karen Leadlay in an analog computer lab at General Dynamics, January 1964.

Even more lazy with PUG

I told you guys! It will also take time getting used to writing HTML like this.

“Could you get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

She comes back with 12 loaves of bread.

Next week, he tries again.

“Could you get a loaf of bread, and while you’re there, get a dozen eggs?”