Luisa Fischer

Writing About Music

Dr. Loughridge

4.18.21

Design Your Own Project

                          Looking Back At Swimming by Mac Miller

            I cried when I heard Mac Miller died. I was a few weeks into spending my first semester of college abroad in London, sitting at a restaurant with two students on my program. My phone kept buzzing under the table, and when I finally looked down, I thought the messages I was getting were some kind of joke. Still, I panicked, and the classmates I was with asked me what was wrong as I held my breath and tried to disprove what my texts were saying. But as soon as I opened Twitter, my feed was filled with updates that struck my heart with a sharp pain. “Mac Miller dead from overdose - details coming soon”. The news was already trending, as hundreds of thousands of people openly mourned for the rapper who died at the young age of 26. He started releasing music twelve years before at the age of 18, and had grown a fanbase that grew up not only listening to his music, but alongside him. There’s no other way I can describe what I was feeling besides pure devastation and loss.

           The first time Mac Miller caught my attention was my sophomore year of high school, when my friend played his album the Divine Feminine on loop in the hour car ride from school to his house. After Shazaming the first three songs, I realized I might as well download the entire album because every song pleased my ears in a way in which only few artists have in the past. I immediately fell in love with Mac Miller and his music, the reason being the way in which he described women. Coming from Atlanta, I had grown up listening to a lot of rap music, and was used to the ways in which the genre often sexualizes and objectifies women. Although Mac Miller wrote a lot about sex, it was from a perspective that was not only respectful and in admiration of women, but inclusive of them. Rather than having females be the object in his songs, his lyrics gave them an equal voice in a way that was able to attract his large female demographic. Mac Miller was able to make us feel heard, understood, and respected in a way that most male artists don’t even try to do.

           However, this wasn’t the only way he made his music as intimate as it is. In his later albums Mac Miller wrote about his struggles with addiction, depression and heartbreak. He went through a public breakup with pop star Ariana Grande, who quickly got engaged to a new man, and was struggling with drugs and alcohol when he was arrested for his DUI all in the year of his fatal overdose. His final release before his death, Swimming, was an album that discussed these topics in such detail, it made anyone who listened to it feel connected to how he was feeling at the time. It was an important album to me personally, even before his death, as I was in the midst of unbearable homesickness and loneliness, and it comforted me in the state that I was in. However, as I sat there in London, scrolling through the tweets confirming his death with tears running down my face, I couldn’t help but ask myself if Swimming was Mac Miller’s goodbye to the world.

           Swimming is all about Mac Miller trying to move into the future with self acceptance and self care - hence the title of the single track “Self Care” - while still acknowledging the pain that the past has caused him. The first track of the album “Come Back to Earth” automatically sets the mood of the project, and became the quote fans used to mourn him after his death. In the song he sings “I just need a way out my head, I’ll do anything for a way out my head” over the strum of an electric guitar before fusing with an electric piano and soft harmonizing strings that add a sense of hopefulness to the melancholy melody. His lyrics further reiterate his attempt to find happiness and sunshine amongst the dark skies that he sees. “Oh, the things I’d do, to spend a little time in Hell” could allude to his craving for substances to make the pain more bearable - he knows that they’re not right, but he craves the feeling that they give him (hence him wanting to spend time in Hell). From this first track, it seems as though Mac Miller was “coming back to earth” after always being high, and all relaying his struggle and depression in trying to find sobriety.

           Another song that had fans looking back on Swimming in a different light was the album’s single and music video “Self Care”. The song itself seems to be about the way in which Mac Miller feels about the people in his life as well as himself, with lines such as “Can’t trust no one, can’t trust yourself yeah” followed by “I love you, I don’t love nobody else, yeah”. This could be a reflection of his broken trust towards the world and himself after losing Ariana Grande, but it’s certainly him admitting that he doesn’t trust himself to take care of himself. The title is almost ironic, the refrain being “Self care, I’m treatin’ me right,” while the rest of the song seem to disprove this line in other lyrics such as “I been losin’ my, losin’ my, losin’ my mind, yeah / Get the fuck out the way, must be this high to play” and “Somebody save me from myself, yeah”. It almost feels like Mac Miller is admitting that he’s tried to move past his addiction and struggles, but continuously falls back into his bad habits and doesn’t seem to care anymore. He feels safer in his bad habits than he does facing not only the world, but himself. Towards the end of the song he says he wants to go home to his house, then follows with “It’s safer there, I know there’s still a war outside / We spend our nights all liquored up, our mornings high,” again opening up his mind to his fans, and giving them insight on the way he covers his fear of the world with substance abuse. “Self Care” as a song alone, shows the struggles Mac Miller was feeling towards life and himself, something that many people can relate to on some level.

                          “Self Care” Official Music Video - Mac Miller

           Even more haunting than the song, however, is the music video that was released for “Self Care” just two months before his death. It starts off with a wider shot of blackness and the single light of a flashlight Mac Miller is holding while laying in a box. As the camera zooms in, you see that he’s laying in a coffin, seemingly relaxed as he lights a cigarette and carves “Memento Mori” into the coffin - which translates to “remember you must die”. He stares at the writing for a few moments before punching through it, and pushing himself out of the dirt he’s buried under, that has collapsed on top of him. Fans came back to the video, released in July of 2018, after news of his death in September of that year, and speculated whether it was Mac Miller predicting his own death. Even though he seemed to be trying to fight against it in the video, in hindsight it seems almost like his goodbye to the world.

           However, in January of 2020, a posthumous album Circles was released. Mac Miller’s friend and fellow producer Jon Brion finished multiple tracks off the album in the way he envisioned the late rapper to have wanted them. The songs of this album gave fans a new perspective of Mac Miller and his state of mind in the year of his death. Unlike in Swimming, which indulges in the pain the rapper was feeling, Circles gives a true sense of self acceptance and hope for the future. If Swimming is black and white, Circles is a fusion of colors that gives insight to what could’ve been the future of Mac Miller’s career and life. Although the posthumous album didn’t make his death any less tragic or diminish his state of mind during Swimming, it was a way for fans to feel closer to the rapper after his death, and have more closure on the person and musician that Mac Miller was.

Deidre Loughridge

Writing About Music

3.7.21

Artist Profile

                                       A Closer Look at Eph See

            Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity and the pleasure of getting to know Felisha Cabral through classes and mutual friends, and feel as though she has become a person that I can always reach out to and rely on whether it be for musical critique or to get coffee. We first met in a Concert and Venues Promotion class, where I first started to develop my admiration for her confidence and kind, humble heart towards everyone around her. When I had her again in classes the next semester, such as Music Marketing and Promotion, I was always excited to catch up with her before and after class, hear her insights on the lessons and get to know more about what was going on in her life. Unfortunately, Covid-19 sent us home before I had the chance to really get to know her better, but we stayed in touch through instagram likes and comments for the net several months, and I shared some of her music with my family and friends because I could boast how talented people I met at school were.

           Felisha is someone that carries an undeniable energy. It was one of the first things that I noticed about her. She’s not just someone you meet in passing and forget about, but a kind and generous person who will make you feel like you are special, seen and heard. I don’t know her much on a professional level, but after our lessons together we would often take short walks or stand outside with some of our peers and discuss personal matters in our lives without feeling judged (at least on my end). Over quarantine, seeing her name in my instagram notifications brought a light to my day, because her energy radiates through every single one of her actions. When I reached out to her about being interviewed for my Writing About Music class she didn’t hesitate to say yes, and when I told her I was nervous and terrible at interviewing, she assured me that it was going to be just like catching up and having a normal conversation, and that I had nothing to worry about.

           Two minutes before we were scheduled to facetime, she let me know that she was just waiting to take the cupcakes out of her oven, but she would call me as soon as she was ready. When that time had passed and I answered her call, she was sitting in the sunlight in her apartment, smiling through the camera with her big brown eyes. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and I took notice that she had changed her hair again and was sporting space buns that framed her face nicely. The sun was glowing on her dark skin that she used as a canvas to display the bright colors in her eyeshadow, like a work of art in a museum.

           It took us a while to even get to the interview questions, because we were catching up on other matters of life such as her past COOP, how I was worried about CO-OP, where she was living now, how we should go get coffee soon until I had to break out conversation to ask my first real question. She was eager and happy to answer all questions, and would go into detail and offer information to keep the conversation flowing naturally. I got to learn more about her other songs that she’s released through her stage name Eph See, as well as an in-depth view of what she wants to achieve with her music and what it means to her. She offered a lot of intimate details about her life and her identity, and traced them all back to her songs such as “the things i used to care about seem so stupid now” and well as “April”.

           A topic we discussed in detail was the way in which Felisha - or Eph See’s - music was meant to be personal. Felisha wants people to be able to process their emotions through her music, and give them the words that they aren’t able to express themselves. The most played track on her SoundCloud is “the things i used to care about seem so stupid now”, the song she says is probably most authentic to her. The opening line “lately I’ve been feeling like my past self is slowly peeling away” displays the identity issues that Felisha was going through at the time, but she looks back at that time with a different perspective today. She told me: “I had what people would call a mental breakdown and it was really scary but needed” and that’s exactly what the emotion that the song creates. Her latest release “April” is another intimate look into the changes a person can go through as the seasons change. When I asked about upcoming songs, Felisha said that she’s currently in her winter season, and is letting herself rest. “My life follows the seasons,” she says. Winter is cold and dark, and she feels as though her best creative self is reborn with the sun in the springtime, much like how the song says.

           Felisha brought up points of struggle such as being a femme artist in the music industry, and the pressure from that to write love songs when she felt like she had so much more to offer. Not only that, but she mentioned that as being a femme and non-binary person of color makes her feel less in tune with a lot of people she’s worked with in the past, who have mostly been straight, cis white men. She wants to work with people that understand her on other levels, and care less about the marketability of her music and more on the energy that she puts into it. Felisha mentioned several times that it’s important for music to give people a voice for their struggles, their feelings, and their thoughts, especially amidst the pandemic, and she wants her music to be relatable for people living their everyday lives. For example, her song “Body” describes the struggle of mental health and feeling lost and disconnected from yourself. In it, she sings “I don’t wanna seem like I’m crying for help but I’m having a hard time finding myself and I don’t want to lie” and “I don’t want you to worry about my health but I’m having a hard time sleeping sometimes, can’t get through the night”. Dark lyrics, but one that many people, especially in the times we are living in now, have struggled with.

           For this reason, she says she’s stopped caring about how she looks on paper in the industry, and has been writing songs of all different sounds that she’s proud of and excited to release in the future. She’s tired of trying to be someone marketable, and wants to just be herself and release whatever type of music she wants. Eph See (Felisha’s) music can be best described as indie-pop, but she doesn’t want to limit herself to any genre and be as fluid as she wants in the sounds she creates. She said that her new unreleased music is different from what she’s put out so far, and she’s excited to grow as an artist and in the type of music she releases. She wants to be a “one stop shop” for those people who listen to a wide variety of music and show off the fact that she can be more than just a one-genre or one-sound artist. Felisha is currently working with a producer on six new songs, but as it’s still her ‘hibernation’ season, you can probably find her playing around with her guitar in her apartment and recording videos for her TikTok.

Professor Loughridge

Writing About Music

4.4.21

Trend or Issue Analysis

                              Selling Sex and the Double Standard

              Sex sells. Sex sells everything from books, films and clothes to car insurance and fast food burgers. And of course, sex sells music. You can find it in every genre - rap, pop, country, rock… music has been a way for artists and their listeners to feel sexually liberated for decades. When we look back, it’s almost laughable to think of what was once considered ‘risque’, like when Elvis Presley caused a frenzy with a single thrust of his hips. But with a new century came new social norms, and both female and male artists alike are much more open to marketing their sexuality through their music, outfits and dances. However, the music industry and the world has cast a double standard when it comes to male artists vs female artists (or even any non-heterosexual artist). While the world will sexualize a female, no matter her age or what she is wearing, there is still a prejudice against any female artist that chooses to openly sexualize herself, and it seems as though nobody is ever quite satisfied with how much or how little skin a woman chooses to reveal.

             Women, especially women in the public eye, have always been criticized more harshly than men when it comes to their looks and how they choose to dress. In more recent years, Billie Ellish has been an example of a young girl who wanted to avoid this at all costs. She inspired a new fashion standard of wearing oversized, baggy clothes that hid her body from the outside world. Billie has talked about how she didn’t want to give the press any reason to comment on her physique, and wanted to be heard for just her music. But in the past year, as she’s turned eighteen and paparazzi photos of her in a tank top leaked, there were a few weeks when her body was all that the internet was talking about. The moment she wasn’t covering her body, the world was open to sexualize her, body shame her, and do everything she had tried to avoid in her career. It’s especially disturbing considering that around this same time, she had just turned legal age, and people jumped at the opportunity to make inappropriate comments now that she was no longer considered a child.

             Other female artists who chose to take a different path to willingly sexualize themselves, have faced even harsher criticism, at an even younger age. Britney Spears made herself into a sex icon when she found fame when she was fifteen or sixteen. She purposefully marketed herself as a ‘tease’ through her promiscuous but still tasteful outfit choices, baby voice and choreography. An example of this is in her hit record “Baby One More Time”. The music video is set in a highschool, where Britney wears a short uniform skirt, a tied up and slightly revealing white blouse, knee high socks and pigtails. She knew that the industry would sexualize her against her will, so she decided to take the ropes into her own hands and give them what they want. She played a fantasy, a flirtation that was just sexy enough… all the while she was a young girl still under the legal age to give consent, but the world was still eating her up and spitting her back out until she got to her infamous mental break.

             Another issue is the fact that male artists haven’t been held accountable for their actions against women, and in turn female artist’s careers have suffered. At the 2004 SuperBowl HalfTime Show, Janet Jackson performed alongside Justin Timberlake but the performance went south when Justin ripped off Jackson's bra and top, revealing her breast on live national television. Instead of the scandal being turned against Timberlake’s action, Janet Jackson was torn apart by the media, and her career suffered for years after as she was held responsible for the wardrobe malfunction. Justin Timberlake only recently came forward with an apology to her, and an apology to women in general for not speaking up for his co-performer and his fault. It took sixteen years for people to reflect on the underlying sexism, and racism, that defaulted in the world to blame the woman for what happened.

             These double standards have most recently been on display in the reception of WAP. A recent trend on Tik Tok was a dance to the song by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. The song had mixed reactions, most of them either praising or slandering the two women for their graphic lyrics and choreography. The song left little to the imagination, essentially telling women to embrace their bodies and sexuality because it’s a powerful tool against men. Most of the backlash was around how sexual the lyrics were, and how Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion were so clearly using sex as a way to sell the song. However, artists like Drake, Lil Wayne or the Weeknd, who range in the same hip hop and pop style, have used graphic lyrics to draw in listeners for years. The difference is, these men are sexualizing women from a male’s perspective, but when WAP empowers women to do the same to themselves with their own will, and to put men in the same perspective, it’s ‘unclassy’ and inappropriate. Nonetheless, the two performed the hit song at the Grammy Awards this year, and didn’t hold back from sexual choreography and performance.

Professor Loughridge

Writing About Music

3.18.21

Cultural Criticism

                                           Amy Winehouse - “Rehab”

               2006 was a year of several exciting events. The first Macbook was released, Youtube was purchased by Google, Italy won the World Cup, Pluto was downgraded from a planet to a dwarf planet and Amy Winehouse released her iconic album Back to Black featuring her hit song “Rehab”. Today, we look back at the late singer’s career with kinder eyes. There was never a question of how talented Amy was, but the media loved to tear her apart when she was obviously struggling with addiction, self worth and an eating disorder. Instead of being concerned for her health, the press focused their efforts on turning the public against someone who was in desperate need of help. The mentality around mental illness and addiction has changed drastically in the past decade, and has become a topic that is no longer pushed aside but rather discussed more openly with more options available. However, in 2006 these heavy issues were, like Pluto, downgraded and in turn, Amy Winehouse along with many others, didn’t receive the help they needed.

              One of the factors that made Amy Winhouse into the musical icon she is today, was the way in which she was able to take her influences from jazz, soul and gospel music and intertwine them with more modern aspects from hip-hop. Her lyrics were like a diary - she didn’t hold back and she spoke her mind the way it was. This raw honesty makes her so appealing and relatable, especially to young women. That was what made “Rehab” the success that it is. It was the first single off Back to Black and its topic gave the media lots to talk about. It wasn’t a song about heartbreak, it was about Amy’s addiction, and more importantly, she was almost mocking it. The co-songwriter and producer of many Amy Winehouse songs, Mark Ronson, says the inspiration for “Rehab” came from a conversation he was having with the singer. She had been telling him about her dad confronting her about her alcoholic blackouts to which she said: “He tried to make me go to rehab and I was like, ‘Pfft, no, no, no’”. From this, the infamous hook was created.

              One of the most important takeaways from this story is that instead of addressing that Amy might be an alcoholic, her and Mark Ronson took the issue to the studio and created a song that would live on as her confession to addiction and submerged cry for help after her passing. Ronson has spoken out on this as well, evaluating the line between artistry and taking action for help. Like Pluto, Amy’s addiction was downgraded from a life threatening issue to a hit record. She was hiding her struggles in plain sight. If she could address the fact that people thought… or rather, knew... she was struggling with alcohol, she could in a way diminish the grandness of it. It’s also interesting to note, that although we know today that Amy struggled with an eating disorder, that was a topic that never made it into her lyrics. What made her choose to deliberately write about her alcoholism, yet leave out the other fatal mental illness that she was struggling with? Was it the fact that one of those struggles was easier to hide from the public than the other? Or did she genuinely believe that one was less serious than the other?

              Either way, “Rehab” was followed by mixed reactions by the public. On one hand, I would argue that musically it was able to downplay her alcoholism from a serious issue to part of what made her music good… in a way her ‘niche’. On the other hand, the media was able to use it as their headline for any drunken incident she had after. A Pitchfork review of the song described Amy’s image as “it’s soul, jazz and blues with a bottle of booze,” brushing over the significance of that bottle of booze that would be fatal in hindsight. The most upsetting thing looking back, is the success of the song. While the press would judge every time Amy got on stage in a drunken state, the song stayed within the top ten hits in both the US and UK. Everyone loved Amy’s alcoholism, until they were front stage and she couldn’t get through a concert or until she ultimately overdosed in 2011.

              The warning signs were there, hidden in plain sight within every magazine cover, every slurred note, every lyric of her most iconic song. But until it was too late, these red flags were knocked down by a lack of understanding and sympathy of mental health, addiction, and simply being a struggling woman in the public eye. “Rehab” provoked the already complicated outlook on alcoholism into light, and until it was too late, the heaviness of the song wasn’t acknowledged. In a year full of chaotic events and upside-down priorities - when a beloved planet lost its status and YouTube was born - the sound of alcoholic self-destruction topped the charts, in a tragic failure to take mental health seriously.

Writing About Music

Professor Loughridge

Due Feb. 28. 2021

Artist Interview

Eph See on Finding Her Sound, Balance and the Music Industry

     This past week I had the chance to have a FaceTime interview with Felisha Cabral, otherwise known by her stage name Eph See. A third year Music student, Eph See has been making a name for herself around the Northeastern campus, with tracks such as “Field Recordings”, “Body” and “April”. We sat down together (virtually) to talk about the singer-songwriter’s processes, past and upcoming projects, as well as what it’s like to be a female and non-binary artist in the music industry.

When and how did you first start getting into music?

Music… I feel like every artist says this but music has always been a pretty prominent part of my life. Yeah, I remember doing theatre and choir and stuff since like elementary school and it just continued and continued. I did that throughout middle and high school as well but it wasn’t until I got to high school… we had something that was called Jazz Combo - we never really played jazz - but it was like rock band essentially and I was a vocalist for it and that got me into performing and I was like ugh it’s so cool to be able to you know sing all these songs in front of audiences and stuff even though it was like friends and family… but I really liked that. And then I started writing my own music seriously probably around freshman year of high school. I was a very musical person. If someone said something like a line that was stuck in my head I would just start singing it… I was definitely that kid. But yeah, I remember writing my first song ever ever, that I performed, when I was I think ten or eleven years old? And it was at summer camp and I got all the counselors to sing it with me as well as my backup singers. Oh my God it was sooo dramatic, but that’s the first thing I remember, like writing a song and performing it for people... and I guess here I am now!

What’s the first song you remember writing and really liking?

Okay that’s easy! That was a song I wrote at fifteen called “The Shelf”. It’s a song about unrequited love but someone that always comes back to you, I guess, because you’re there. And the whole premise is like “I’ll just stick to being another book you put back on the shelf and take down when you want”. I was fifteen, I don’t know what I was thinking… Like what was I feeling, what was I going through?

It’s funny that a high school crush as a fifteen year old can turn into a song like that…Did you ever end up recording it?

No. But I did perform it in front of my grade. That was the second time I performed an original song just me and my guitar and I performed it at school. I was like… pretty bold back then, which is kind of cool but also looking back at it I felt bold but during the performance I was so nervous.

Do you still get nervous when you’re performing today?

Oh yeah, all the time, but I think it’s just because I care. I want to do well and I want to connect. It’s less so about looking good or not messing up now… that used to be my fear. But now it’s, you know, what did I write this song for? To help other people and to help myself. And if I can do that well, I care a lot about it and when you care a lot about something, that can become nerves.

Yeah that makes a lot of sense… It’s funny because you seem like you’re a real natural at it.

Thank you! It definitely took time. But that’s another thing I forgot to mention, I did acapella for a while and that was a lot of performing very consistently.

And probably a lot of pressure too.

Oh yeah, especially with some of the crowds that we got. We did like a competition too, I remember my first year second semester in that group, we did do a competition and that was… terrifying. But we won and the feeling after that was insane.  

Do you think you like performing in group settings (like with Acapella) more or when it’s just you and your music?

Mmmmmm… That’s a great question.

I love performing my own stuff, but I always love being with other people. I know for me community is such a big thing and I love people that I can create with consistently. Maybe it’s just me but it’s easier for me to create and be vulnerable with people that I trust and if I’ve worked with you a lot then we have built that sense of trust.  I’ve always - still do - wanted to be in a band and everything, so I definitely see myself being someone who has a touring band that stays pretty consistent or people that I make music or write with pretty consistently. Or even if I work with a producer I’m probably going to keep my circle pretty small and just work with the same people.

Are you looking to form a band or have you taken any action to start one?

I haven’t… you’re calling me out… I think for me it’s just that some things should come together organically and I have tried posting on NeuGigs because I wanted specifically a band of women or non-gender conforming people because I already have to work with so many cis white men and it’s just not the vibe anymore. So definitely non-men, or non-men of color that I relate to more and I’m able to be more vulnerable and open and free with those kinds of people and that’s what I want out of my experience with a band. So, I definitely could do more to find those people but…

But I feel like you’re doing really well as a solo artist right now too.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s true too. I just found this band the other day called Hard Car Kids and I was like wow these voices all sound so familiar. Then I realized they were a bunch of little artists that I listen to who are friends and they made a band so I was like ugh that’d be sick. Something like that.

That’s so true, I love it when bands are all solo artists or have their own side projects. That way you can see different sides to each of them and sometimes the music they make as a band vs the music they make on their own is so different.

Yeah, I think it definitely allows for artists to have more creativity. Because you’ll find that everyone will tell you “Stick to one genre so you can be more marketable!”. With this one producer I’m working with right now, I’ve made six different songs… none of them sound anything like each other. But I think that it’s so good to get that stuff out because that’s kind of what writer’s block is. When you’re not allowing yourself to get everything out or only letting certain things out then of course you’re gonna have blockages because you’re not fully allowing yourself to create. I found that’s what I was going through a little while ago, and then we [producer + Eph See] started working together and now it just comes more naturally because I’m like okay anything that comes out I’m gonna let come out. Instead of only releasing things that would be good as singles because that just kills your creativity.

That’s so true. I think that you have to write some bad songs or ones you don’t love to eventually get to the ones that you’re really excited about. You have to lay the groundwork and get everything you’re feeling out into the world so you can move on and then get the songs you love.

I could talk all day about the pressure that capitalism puts on artists. Like only releasing “good” music… what is that? Good to who? What is the criteria? You know we can’t all write “Driver’s License” so. And when you look back, this is something I went through in quarantine, you know early shut-down - I was forced into a lot of alone time and I’m living alone now - well I don’t want to say forced because I benefited from it. But going through that and having to really see who I am when I’m not trying to be somebody for somebody else has reflected in my music. It’s gotten more honest. Instead of just writing about love all the time - because what is that? - I’ve been writing more about things like childhood and growing up, self expression and exploration.

Especially as a femme artist everyone expects you to write about love and heartbreak. But, there’s so much more to me than that. So I definitely had to let go of the pressure to only release like billboard charting songs because I want to look back at my discography and see growth. You know what I mean? And it’s not that my songs are bad now, but there’s going to be an evolution when you look at my discography. Like Ariana Grande’s Yours Truly and Positions sound nothing alike but they’re still great and I love being able to see her trajectory.

And to see how an artist grows after a couple projects.

And life! Like life changes you and that’s the whole point!

Exactly! Because sometimes you are in the mood to write a love song but… that’s not all there is to life.

There’s so much more.

And because it’s the main topic of most songs, especially for female artists, I feel like it’s easy to get caught up in that.

Right.

You recently came out with “Body” on Spotify, but do you have any other recent projects you’ve put out?

So “Body” was my latest Spotify release, but in December on New Year’s Eve I released a song called “April” on Soundcloud. Sometimes I just like to put stuff on Soundcloud… not as much as I should probably. One of my songs on there, “The Things I used to care about seem to stupid now”, has started to gain likes and plays again which is really cool to see.

...But it’s actually so true like the things I used to care about do seem so stupid now. But I wrote that last March so it’s about to come up on its one year anniversary and I still feel that way so I think it’s a song that will definitely age well with time which makes me very proud. In the comments there’s people really relating to it and that’s what makes me really happy because I think that was one of the most honest songs I’ve ever written. And it wasn’t easy to write because it was very vulnerable but it just shows that it’s worth it because I feel like the more vulnerable you are, the more people are drawn to it. It gives other people permission to feel that as well and to go that deep.

That’s a really good way of putting it. So how did you go about writing a song that’s really and intimate and how did you come up with the idea for that song specifically?

So that song was kind of funny because I just tweeted “I feel like writing an indie song right now” and people were like “well don’t just not do it then”. So then I did! I wrote it in like six hours. Wrote it, recorded it, produced it, mixed it all in six hours and then just posted it to SoundCloud and… Wow I’m actually getting kind of, I don’t want to say emotional but the way it all happened was so just on a whim and it’s the most streamed song on my SoundCloud. I just had a guitar riff that I played and then it just kind of flowed. But the first line is “lately I’ve been feeling like my past self is slowly peeling away” so I was dealing with a lot of identity issues. Two years ago in November I had what people would call a mental breakdown and it was really scary but needed. I think sometimes people think about mental breakdowns in a very nutcase kind of way but what a mental breakdown really is is the way you’ve been living your life or viewing the world or viewing yourself… your soul is just like “this is not it anymore and we can’t go on thinking about life like this or acting like this or being like this”. So then it’s like okay, purge, total recall, burn it all to the ground. You feel really raw for a bit but then slowly you start to reevaluate and piece things together in a way that fits better.

… That’s a bar. I’m gonna write that down. “Piece things together in a way that fits better”.

That’s another thing, I have a lyric dump so I just put anything there.

On your phone and on your laptop?

Mhm *as she’s typing away*

A lot of my songs are just like stitches from my lyric dump.

So, do you think that [“the things I used to care about seem so stupid now”] is your favorite song, or what would you say is your favorite song you’ve released?

Hmmm… Yeah!

I think… ooh… that’s a really good question. I think it’s the most authentic and most cathartic song that I have released but “Field Recordings” was probably my favorite writing process and releasing process.

I definitely want to release more music but I also have to honor the fact that  I’m very much in my own winter season right now. But spring is coming. My life follows the seasons. Fall is all about releasing what you don’t need. Winter is, humans don’t hibernate, but I feel like… well let me not generalize. I don’t hibernate but in the winter time the world is telling me to slow down. Because when spring comes and you’re gonna have all these ideas and all of this stuff that you’re gonna want to do but you need to recharge first. And then summer is like, okay, bask in all the glory!

I get a lot of sunlight from my windows, like so much natural light in my apartment, as well as the view of the moon right outside my window.

I feel like that’s very on brand for you.

Oh my God, it is!

I was thinking about it yesterday and the universe really snapped. But yeah, I have all of these windows, just drinking tea, and I felt like a cat that just sprawls out in the sun. I was trying to get the sunlight all over my body, like my back and I was thinking how these parts of my skin have not felt the sun for so long so I need to soak it all in while I can. But spring is coming!

Do you have any songs on the backburner that you’re planning on releasing anytime soon?

Yeah. It’s about getting into recording and stuff but I’ve been working with the producer that I’ve really enjoyed working with. The only thing is my writing has been all over the place, in all different genres. So I might just set the precedent for anyone who listens to my music that if you listen to me you’re gonna get seven different things at once. And that’s okay. I know there’s a lot of people out there who listen to all different kinds of music. So it may not be as marketable, but I can be your one stop shop!

I also hate the idea of having to make only one type or genre of music. I feel like artists should just be able to write and go with how they’re feeling, and do a bunch of different things.

Yeah and you should be able to! There’s so much emphasis on marketability but how cool would it be to look at it in a different way like you do so much let’s show that. Because that will draw so many people to you. I just think sometimes marketing is really backwards.

Sometimes it feels like nowadays music is just based on how marketable it is.

I feel like there were people in the past that I’ve worked with and before I even wrote the song we were discussing marketing tactics. And that just made me not want to write the song because it gives you so much anxiety like this has to complete this and do this and that before it’s even, you know, been born. And I think again, with the whole killing an artist’s creativity, I do think there’s a beauty in wanting to do what you love as your job. I think everyone who wants to make music should be able to do that and survive. But there’s this whole system like you’re either a superstar and you’re rich or you’re starving.

And that alone, that fear, of putting all your work and energy and time and love into a project and not receiving anything from it… it’s criminal in my opinion. It doesn’t just kill your creativity. It kills your will and your love for music. That’s what I was just going through. I was focusing so much on release, release, release that I was like I don’t even want to do this anymore. Do I even want to do music? That’s so crazy. Music will always be part of my life, but that mindset made me question it.

So when you’re writing your music, are there any artists who influence you the most?

I grew up listening to all different kinds of music so let me look at my playlist… There’s an artist that I just discovered. I was scrolling through Tik Tok and they were singing and it was so beautiful. They’re name is Leith Ross, let me text it to you. I’ll actually text you the track, because it’s so good. But basically I’ve been listening to a lot of artists where their music is more conversational or more personal and raw. So even if I don’t directly relate to that experience, hearing them talk about what they’ve been going through, again is that idea of it’s okay to feel this and if this is what you’re going through, you’re not the only one.

I feel like you hear so much of this idea of I partied until 3am last night and now I don’t remember my name! Or I have all this money and I don’t know what to do with it! And in this world, especially right now, it’s just not relatable and it can give people an unrealistic world view and then they get dissatisfied with their own lives like “I’m not clubbing on a Tuesday night so I must be doing something wrong”. But I’ve seen this kind of revolution, of people romanticizing mondanity and the little things in life. And we’re shifting from instagram baddie culture to just I am who I am and I love that. I’m just in my little house, cooking my little things, but life is great! So that’s what I’ve been drifting towards.

Lizzie McAlpine is a really great example of that, and obviously I listen to songs like SZA and Frank Ocean, Chloe and Hally I’ve been listening to a lot. Also a lot of Arlo Parks and Hayley Williams also just dropped an album. So that’s what I’ve been listening to now, but if you want to make this a point then I can literally bop to almost anything. I would say expect country, but I like Kacey Muscgraves. But yeah, I listen to a lot. I think listening to a lot of music helps me write better music.

What’s the best advice that you’ve been given as an artist or do you have any advice that you would give a smaller or DIY artist just starting out?

I think it’s what we’ve been talking about.

Writing About Music

Dr. Loughridge

2/14/21

                                   Virtual Concert Review

Red Shaydez - Feel the Aura Album Release Party

Released 2020

              Live music has changed drastically over the past year. What once was hundreds of people standing side by side in a dark room with the pulsating rhythm of the bass through the amps has been replaced with a Friday night in pajamas on a living room couch, headphones in and staring at a screen. The concept of attending a hip-hop concert virtually is almost a juxtaposition however, the restrictions and regulations of Covid-19 have left artists of all sizes with no other choice. Live Streaming album releases and performances have become the new normal, and one of the pro’s that has come with it is that you can now virtually attend them anytime and anywhere.

             The concert I attended was a livestream album release party from July 2020 for a local Boston hip-hop artist, Red Shaydez. I was curious to see how smaller and local artists have been adapting to the changes Covid-19 has brought on the music industry, and Red Shaydez seemed like the perfect candidate. Over the past ten years, she’s risen to the top of the Boston hip-hop scene and has made a name for herself across Georgia and Massachusetts. Once lockdown was set in place early last year, Red Shaydez released a new album Feel the Aura in July of 2020 and organized an intimate live streamed album release party over multiple platforms. It was an interesting experience to say the least…

             I sat at my laptop in the comfort of my bed, headphones on not knowing what to expect from a virtual event like this. There sat Red Shaydez, in the comfort of her own home, looking straight into a camera and at me. There was another camera angled further away and showing the setup of the event - essentially, just Red Shaydez, her couch, and her camera. Right off the bat, a portion of one of the songs was playing, and Shaydez sat eyes closed on her floor, nodding her head along to the music. It felt more like a friend showing me a song than an artist putting on a show, which in this case was working to Red Shaydez’s advantage.

             Once the first song faded out, Shaydez looked into the camera with a big smile and introduced herself as well as all the people who worked on the album with her. She went on to explain how this livestream was going to work and that she was excited to talk about the process and inspiration behind every song. I was afraid I would get bored sitting at my laptop for so long, but Shaydez’s bubbly personality kept me hanging on to every word. Although she didn’t perform any of the songs, she was able to draw her viewers in by introducing each song and telling her fans what to look out for - for example “You better turn up the bass for this one!”. Her enthusiasm has only worked in her favour in growing her fanbase virtually during a global pandemic. The comments from her viewers were on the side of the screen, and throughout the livestream she would come back to them to answer questions and comments. Some of the questions asked what her favorite song off her new album is and curiosity about where she got her inspiration from. Most of the comments were just words of encouragement and excitement that her fans were leaving for her. Just from the type of messages left on the video, it was clear that her fans were excited about the event.

             Red also included visuals to keep the livestream more interesting. She had made short music videos for some of the songs on the album, and talked through the inspiration behind them as well. One of the videos was completely animated, and Red stayed honest with us by explaining that she had other plans originally, but was restricted by covid for most of the video ideas. Whether or not she was planning on an animated music video, it was filled with bright colors and unique graphics that were entertaining and exciting to watch. It also gave the audience a bit more variety in visuals, as most of the event was just Red Shaydez on her couch. Because the livestream played each track on the newly released album, it was almost three hours long. However, there was no lack of engagement from viewers throughout the whole event, as each song Shaydez played was captivating and exciting to hear.

                                    Blind Album Review

Maggie Lindemann - PARANOIA Released 2021