Otome Craziness

It was so long ago that you couldn’t quite pinpoint the year, but your family had rented a summer house to get away from the routines of everyday life.

Boredom soon set in, away from all your friends and the amenities of home. Dust motes danced slowly through the rays of sun coming through the windows. The only sound in the air was the distant hum of a lawnmower. The heat had slowed time to a standstill. In a bid to beat the boredom, or at least get some air, you headed out to the woods behind the house. They were just large enough for an adventure, and just small enough that if you got lost, you wouldn’t be lost for long.

Under the canopy, the world outside fell away. A thousand shades of green, broken only by small cracks of sunlight between the foliage. The gentle trickle of water drew you to a little stream that wound its way between the trees.

On a rock by the edge of the stream, not too far from where you were, sat a boy. Hearing your approach, he turned to you. Wild silvery hair framed a narrow, almost fox-like face. "There you are." His voice was warm, the tone casual. As if you being here was the most natural thing in the world.

You looked over your shoulder, to see if the strange boy was talking to someone else, but there were only the two of you. “I think you’re mistaking me for someone else--”

“Nope, I knew you were coming. I’ve been waiting ages for you. You just arrived at the yellow house yesterday, right?”

“How would you know that?” Maybe he knew the owners of the house?

“I know many things.” He smiled, and held out his hand. “I’m Mitsuhide.”

From that day on, you became fast friends. Mitsuhide often appeared from seemingly nowhere, like a ghost. He only came when you were alone, soundlessly, or with the quiet tinkle of bells. Always in the forest.

You invited him to come for ice cream, or to go meet your family, or go exploring different parts of the town, but he always refused.

You told your family about him, but when you explained that he wouldn’t come by and say hi, and that he would only show himself to you, they assumed he was just an imaginary friend. Your imagination was vivid, but there was no way you could have invented an entire boy, was there? Imaginary friends weren’t supposed to be this vivid, were they?

“You’re real, aren’t you?” You asked him one day, after once again having tried to convince your family that he wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. .

“I suppose so, he shrugged.” He held out his hand, and you took it. “I couldn’t hold your hand if I was imaginary, could I?”

That made sense. His hand was warm wrapped around yours, and a strange fluttering filled your body. After that, you decided it didn’t matter what your family thought. You knew he was real, and that was all that mattered to you. He said strange things sometimes, and he would never talk about his family, or where he came from, or even why you could only meet in the forest, but he was undeniably flesh and blood. The mystery just made him more intriguing.

The two of you spent the summer bathing, running about, and talking about anything that came to mind in the moment. Being around him was so easy, and you loved every moment of it. He showed you the secrets of the forest. What plants were edible, what ones had helpful characteristics like healing, and what ones to stay clear of. He showed you how to find different animals, and you watched them together in silent awe. He even had a little fox that would sometimes follow you around. He was like no other boy you had ever met.

When the day came that you were leaving, you found him at the edge of the woods. He took your hand, and you walked for a while in silence before he stopped and gave you a hug. There was something final about the gesture. He then stepped back, and looked at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher. “When you go back, you won’t remember me.”

“I will, I promise!” You reached for his hand, but he took another step back, out of reach. How could you forget the person who had brought you so much enjoyment and excitement. Someone who, you now realised, had become one of your best friends.

He shook his head. “No, you won’t. Not until the time is right. But that’s alright.” His lips quirked into a small melancholy smile.

You opened your mouth to ask him what he meant, but before any sound could leave you, he had vanished into the woods.

That was the last you saw of him, and with no one to talk to about him, and so much happening in your life, the memory of him slowly faded into nothing and he once again became a ghost.

Back in the present, something told you that you had to go back to those woods, that there was a reason why you had remembered all this now. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, or even why you needed to go there. Memories were just memories after all. And even if Mitsuhide was real, what were the odds he would even be around that sleepy little town any more. But it was autumn, and the price of renting the old house was so low that you might as well head out for a weekend, if only just to get away from your everyday life for a bit.

The town was quiet without the holiday makers. Only a few cars passed you on the way there. Time had not been kind to the house. The owners had grown old, and so had the building, but it was dry, cosy and clean. You chose the same bedroom as you had as a child, a room stuck in time.

That night you didn’t dream.

The morning crept up, grey and misty. Looking out the window over the rim of your steaming cup, the trees loomed like quiet sentinels. The prospect of going for a walk in those woods was all of a sudden much less tempting than it had been just last night. But what were you to do? Sit and wonder all day? You shrugged on a coat and some wellies and headed out.

Just as you took the first step into the forest, the sun broke through the clouds. The woods felt like they were welcoming you back. You almost chuckled at the thought. The path, now sun-dappled and soft under your feet, wound its way towards where you had first met him.

The white slab came in to view, and your stomach dropped. It was there, an empty and silent witness to the stillness of the forest. Accompanied only by your disappointment, you advanced. Inexplicably pulled towards it even now.

The wind rustled through the leaves, and you could swear you heard the faint chime of bells. It must be your imagination, conjuring up the faint sounds of a dream, you thought to yourself. Just wishful thinking. The second time the sound came, there was no denying that it was real. Your heartbeat quickened, and when you turned around, he was there. His face had sharpened with age, and he had grown into a tall well-built man, but his silvery hair and golden eyes were unmistakeable. For a moment you wondered if this too was a dream, and you had to resist the impulse to pinch yourself. The wind picked up, sending leaves swirling around you.

He smiled, something indeterminable twinkled in his golden eyes. As he advanced towards you, it was as if the forest floor itself smoothed to let him glide effortlessly across it. As if he was a part of it, and it a part of him.

Now that you were here, standing across from him, words evaded you. His presence felt the same, even after all the years that had passed. All doubts you previously had about coming here evaporated like dew in the sunlight.

Next, I look for what the MC themselves say and think about the experience.

This tells me more about the interaction than a general CW, as all situations are different depending on the story. 

I pay close attention to the MC’s internal and spoken dialogue, and how the experience is affecting her.

Is the MC frightened? Is the MC conflicted? Is the MC interested in the LI’s sexual advances in general, but not in this particular situation? Does the MC even consider what is happening to be a sexual advance or straight up an attack on her person? etc.

I’m looking for what words (if any) she says or thinks.

Some examples:

“I wanted him to touch/kiss me,” “it felt good when,” “I liked,” or actions such as pulling the LI in rather than pushing him away, keeping the LI close to their person during the dubcon instead of defending herself and running for the hills, etc. 

How the MC is responding internally, verbally, and physically during the dubcon, that’s what I’m interested in beyond just: there’s dubcon on my screen and I feel xyz about it (which is fine, just not what I do).

Again I ask myself these questions (and others) because not all dubcon situations are the same.

For example, Alfons and Darius are two different characters with two different outlooks, experiences, and motivations behind the dubcon they perpetuate in their routes. 

Trying to view Darius through the view of Alfons’ dubcon actions wouldn’t make sense, and vice versa. What Darius does may not bother you, but you might have a problem with what Alfons does, and vice versa. 

What I’m looking for is why is this character in this specific story is doing these actions. 

Then I go back and do the same internal and spoken analysis for the LI. 

I do this because it’s important FOR ME to understand the intent of the whole picture.

Then, I read the scene again, normally. 

If you’re just starting out with reading analytically, this may seem dumb and time consuming. 

Again, you do not have to do any of this at all.

Once you learn (or continue to grow) how to analyze what you’re reading, it becomes second nature and you’ll start by do it automatically.

Also, please keep in mind that there are many other techniques, and this is not an exhaustive list for how to read analytically. Just some of the things I do, for myself, to achieve a deeper understanding.

Interacting with what you read in this manner can help you understand the intent behind what is going on in a story beyond what the words on the screen say.

Think of it as the text version of how you interact with people in real life:

There’s what someone says, what someone does, and the intent/motivation behind the connection (or disconnection) to both of those things.

Your brain processes these things and your intuition kicks in to help guide your actions, emotions, and decisions surrounding such interactions with other people.

Analytical reading does the same thing, just on paper or a screen.

Finally, for the nine millionth time, this approach is how I was trained to read from a young age and as such I’ve found it extemely helpful to me regardless of whether or not I was reading fiction or non-fiction (to exclude, of course, strictly scientific or medical research, etc.)

I share this technique in the hopes that it may help even one person who is unsure of how to interact with reading sensitive topics or someone interested in learning more about characters beyond what the words on the screen say.

There are the words in the screen, and there are the motivations, thoughts, and feelings in-between those lines that are so easy to miss (even outside of sensitive topics) when one simply takes the story for being only in the text.

As always, be kind to yourself first, and remember to extend that to others as often as you can. 

Keep first and foremost in your mind that these characters are not real, the situations are not real, and that you owe it to yourself to scrape off your plate as much crap as you can.

If playing otome helps you decompress, but something you’re reading is stressing you out— bail. 

NO you don’t need to finish that sentence, that chapter, or that route.

YES you can just press Skip from start to finish.

NO that does not mean that you’re not a “true” fan.

His interest in Kate at the beginning is… superficial and to a degree selfish, if not outright self-centered; despite his curse, he sees himself as destined to assist others in regaining their autonomy and becoming their own masters. In his view, obstacles in their lives are (mostly) self-imposed; there’s always a decision that can be made. This is something that the past and his ability taught him. So therefore, William wants others to be free from their (self-imposed) restraints. He not only sees Kate’s longing for freedom, but he also sees through her. And while his interest might seem like nothing more than a desire to help her spread her wings, it’s also his own selfish desire that restrains him somehow. He isn’t particularly evil; he simply makes it very clear that he isn’t seeking any kind of close relationship/partnership; a fact that clouds Kate’s ability to approach him. She is afraid of becoming addicted to her newly discovered feelings, only for her to be left longing for this afterwards. He notices that she is punishing herself by denying herself every pleasure life has to offer; this is already evident in his first encounter with him. She wishes to see him again, but quickly reminds herself that it’s unlikely they will meet again given their social status. So, she quickly puts her desire away and continues her work.

But she wants a change and this wish manifests in her being lured by William’s piano melody which leads to her becoming a witness to horrific crimes that night.

William may seem to be quite passive at times, but he is far from it . While he doesn’t seem opposed to indulge in sexual behavior, he waits for his prey her to make the decision out of her own free will. He isn’t trying to force her to do something she doesn’t want to; he rather tries to make her feel her desires pulsing through her, tempting her. William’s voice actor describes him as “calculating”.  Additionally, he says that instead of William forcing them to act, he wants them to become their own masters and so he manipulates them into giving into their desires. Williams initial intentions become clear once again in his POV from Episode 6, in which he proclaims that he wants to pour all his love into Kate. After being hurt during their first mission, William is quick to notice that Kate hides her pain. He comforts and reassures her that it’s ok to voice her true feelings; and from the moment on, Kate begins to express her desires which culminates in her in initiating their first lovemaking in Episode 11.

After that, she tries desperately to remind herself that she isn’t special to him; he probably does this with other people as well. Even Harrison tries to “warn” Kate and notes that William’s love feels like “passing rain” a metaphor that even Kate uses during the following chapters. But regardless of it (and her desperate clinging to reason) she falls for him.

When trying to understand William, it is obviously crucial to look into his past and present experiences and relationships. While I don’t want to dwell on his childhood too much, I want to examine his friendship with Victor. They are both the founders of Crown, with Victor serving as the Queen’s aide, delivering the word of His Majesty and William acting as the de facto leader of Crown. In William’s second birthday epilogue, after the relationship between William and Kate has been established, Victor says something to William that even he himself never realized. Victor describes his long-time friend as “lonely” and that he’s glad that he finally found someone who shares his fate with him. This finally made William acknowledge his loneliness for the first time. For someone who can read people and even Kate thinks at some point that he’s able to read minds lol, he never once considered himself lonely; but his closest friend did. But even Victor doesn’t truly know what goes on in William’s mind because his dear friend hides his feelings. Even though William explicitly states that he loves humans, he keeps them at a distance, fearing he might drag someone down his path and ultimately into his fate. He accepted his destiny long ago, but he never accepted his desire to share it. And when Kate enters his life and falls in love with her too, he becomes more stressed at the thought of her getting hurt. And this even astonished Victor when William saves Kate after she is nearly killed by a statue during the end of his main route.

I think that the possibility that William considers Kate being his special someone is hinted in the early chapters. While it seems that his motives are purely based on his perception of personal freedom, he takes his time to make Kate’s time enjoyable. In Chapter 2 he invites her to the theater and even says he’s somewhat disappointed that she didn’t mention that she loves the theater – a shared love by both of them. During the play, the actors depict a perfectly picture of passion, love and dedication that even transcends death. Also, Kate can’t believe that someone can be passionate about something that someone would willingly die for their desire is just pure nasty foreshadowing lol. Not only is Kate later willing to die for her love, but the situation in the theater is also the chance for William to grant himself the wish to spend time with her. Even if he wouldn’t admit it and masks it as Kate’s desire, it just shows that William truly enjoys being with her. He doesn’t realize it yet but it’s his own desire that meddles with him. And even though it’s true that Kate wanted change. He didn’t only saw this in her yes, but he also saw his own reflection, his own desire for change; so, it’s no wonder that this robin caught his attention.

One night before falling  asleep, I imagined how Kate/MC would speak to him. She wants to unveil all his mysteries, and she doesn’t hesitate in making this clear. She would probably one day ask herself the question, what would I do if I had the power to command others by simply using my voice? And then it crossed my mind what a burden that power would be; how much self-control one has to develop in order not to mess up and accidentally steal someone their freedom. In Williams POV side story from Episode 23 he thinks about how playing chess and the piano helped him with the frustration he felt after discovering his powers; how he felt disgust when he used his ability unintentionally. A rare glimpse we get of him expressing negative feelings such as anger.