Sheffield's sickest grime station

just for posterity my favourite joke from my first listen through of wooden overcoats was "think of the worst 5 word sentence possible" "mum–" "and–" "dad–" "are–" "back. oh dear"

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

I got six words for you: I got four words for you: I got 2 words: Fuck you

@i-count-words-in-posts

19

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

Any good story needs an ending. Any good story needs an ending!! Any good story needs and ending!!! To make a point you need a period, not a comma!!!!!

but above all, one must not concern oneself with the opinions of people who censor the word fuck

Something nobody prepares you for is that the better you get at writing the harder it becomes. beginners write freely because they don't know enough to know what's wrong. then you learn. and suddenly you can see every single flaw in real time as you're making it and you have to write anyway while your own brain is in the corner going "that's a weak verb. that transition is lazy. you've used that word three times." getting good at this is mostly just getting better at ignoring yourself.

*walks up to the bar* get me a white gilgamesh. and make it warm, its gonna be a long night

I’m not saying it was a good idea but every society has tried to solve the problem of “society needs organization to function but power tends to corrupt people” and I like how ancient Rome’s answer was the position of the tribune, where you get to have unchecked power with no accountability for one (1) year but after that you’re just a guy and everyone you pissed off can beat you to death with hammers.

I’m just not ashamed of being an omnivore. Yes this chicken was once an individual. Thank you chicken for your sacrifice. You were delicious and gave me some very necessary B vitamins.

yall aren’t gonna believe this

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”

The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.

Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.

You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator

We could have stopped here