which is exactly why he starts making friends immediately.

it starts when another stay-at-home dad notices tsukki while walking past with his own baby balanced against his shoulder.

“how old?” the man asks with a tired smile.

“seven months,” dazai replies proudly.

tsukki blinks slowly at the stranger with the same expression dazai uses when he’s mentally judging people.

the man laughs. “he’s already got attitude.”

“genetics,” dazai says calmly.

soon enough, more dads slowly drift over.

apparently exhausted husbands with babies gravitate toward each other like magnets.

within minutes there’s a small group gathered near the shallow end.

all holding babies. all wearing expensive resort clothes. all looking equally sleep-deprived.

one baby is chewing on sunglasses. another is trying to eat a pool towel.

tsukki is simply staring at everyone like he’s evaluating their life choices.

the conversation immediately turns into tired-parent chaos.

“mine screamed for forty minutes because i peeled a banana wrong.”

“my daughter cried because i wouldn’t let her drink pool water.”

“tsukki wakes up offended by existence sometimes.”

one of the men snorts. “yeah, that sounds about right.”

another adjusts his baby carrier before glancing at dazai again.

“…so what does your wife do?”

that question changes everything.

because dazai smiles, that dangerous smile.

“Oh,” he says casually, “my wife’s terrifying.”

the group blinks.

“…terrifying?”

“She’s the breadwinner,” dazai explains proudly. “Very successful. Very intimidating. I’m basically a kept man.”

the men stare at him.

one finally laughs. “no way.”

“Yes way,” dazai says. “I live a luxurious life of emotional support and folded laundry.”

another dad points at him accusingly. “what do you even do all day?”

“I raise our son. I cook. I clean. I look beautiful near windows.”

the group bursts out laughing.

tsukki drools slightly against dazai’s chest.

one of the men wipes tears from his eyes. “nah seriously though, how rich is your wife?”

dazai glances toward your lounge chair across the pool.

you’re stretched beneath a large umbrella wearing sunglasses, completely relaxed while scrolling through your phone like you belong in a luxury magazine ad.

then he looks back at them.

“…watch this.”

immediately every single man leans forward because clearly something ridiculous is about to happen.

dazai walks across the pool deck carrying tsukki like a tiny assistant manager.

he stops beside your chair dramatically.

“darling,” he says sweetly.

you don’t even look up yet. “what.”

“I require financial assistance.”

now you lower your sunglasses slightly.

“…for what.”

“poolside survival.”

you stare at him for a long moment.

the dads across the pool are openly watching now.

then calmly, without a single word, you reach beneath the oversized sunhat sitting beside you.

and pull out a thick wad of cash.

actual cash. folded neatly.

completely unreasonable.

the men near the pool go dead silent.

you hand it to dazai casually like this is a completely normal interaction between married people.

“there,” you say calmly. “don’t spend it all in one place.”

dazai looks genuinely emotional.

“you’re so attractive,” he whispers.

“go away.”

he grins immediately before kissing your cheek and walking back toward the group still holding the money proudly in his hand.

the silence when he returns is devastating.

one of the dads finally speaks.

“…what the hell.”

another points directly at him. “is she your sugar mommy?”

dazai considers it seriously. “technically i think i’m her trophy husband.”

“HOW DID YOU PULL HER?”

dazai places one hand dramatically over his chest.

“through perseverance, charm, and mental illness.”

the group loses composure instantly.

one of the men nearly wakes his baby laughing.

another still looks stunned. “she just carries around stacks of cash?”

“she frightens me a little,” dazai says proudly.

“BRO.”

from that point onward, dazai becomes absolutely unbearable.

he lounges back in his chair with tsukki asleep against his chest while casually sipping a drink like he didn’t just emotionally damage every husband present.

“she bought this vacation,” he says lightly.

one of the dads groans immediately. “please stop talking.”

“she also booked first class.”

“i’m gonna throw you in the pool.”

“she told me my only responsibility this weekend was to relax and look pretty.”

“OH MY GOD.”

dazai smiles peacefully behind his sunglasses. “i know.”

eventually one of the wives walks over carrying drinks.

she takes one look at the group and immediately notices the energy.

“…what happened.”

her husband points directly at dazai. “his wife handed him a stack of money like a mafia boss.”

the woman blinks once.

then follows dazai’s gaze toward you sitting beneath the umbrella.

you haven’t even noticed the conversation happening yet.

she pauses.

“…oh.”

another husband notices instantly. “what.”

“…okay no, i understand now.”

“UNDERSTAND WHAT?”

she gestures vaguely toward you.

“…i’d also hand her my paycheck.”

the entire group erupts again.

dazai looks unbearably smug.

“thank you,” he says politely. “i agree.”

later, you finally wander over toward the pool with your sandals dangling from one hand.

the second dazai notices you, he sits up straighter automatically.

tsukki is asleep against his chest, tiny hand gripping his shirt.

you stop beside his chair. “you telling strangers about my finances?”

dazai smiles innocently. “networking.”

one of the dads immediately points at him. “he’s been flexing you for an hour.”

you sigh deeply.

“…that sounds right.”

dazai wraps one arm loosely around your waist as you stand beside him.

comfortable. casual. completely in love.

“You know,” one of the husbands says carefully, “he talks about you like you hung the moon.”

dazai doesn’t even hesitate.

“…because she did.”

you look down at him for a second before laughing softly despite yourself.

“you’re ridiculous.”

“and yet,” he says while tilting his head against your side, “you’re still obsessed with me.”

you roll your eyes.

but your fingers are already sliding into his hair while tsukki sleeps peacefully between you both.

and honestly?

dazai looks entirely too proud of himself for someone wearing baby sunscreen and carrying pool toys.

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akutagawa follows close behind, dark eyes scanning the shoreline carefully before settling back on you.

“you still have not explained why we are here this late,” he says.

you turn slightly, smiling.

“you’ll see.”

he narrows his eyes suspiciously but says nothing else.

the water is colder at night.

the kind that sends a sharp chill through your legs the second you step into it.

Akutagawa clicks his tongue softly beside you. “freezing.”

“don’t be dramatic.”

“I am objectively correct.”

you laugh quietly before walking farther in.

the waves move lazily around your knees beneath the silver glow of the moon.

and then, a wave crashes.

suddenly blue light explodes around your legs.

soft glowing streaks swirling through the water like stars caught beneath the surface.

Akutagawa immediately stills.

another wave rolls in.

more glowing blue.

the ocean lights up around both of you.

“…what is this?” he asks quietly.

you grin softly. “bioluminescence.”

for the first time since arriving, Akutagawa actually looks stunned.

every movement in the water leaves glowing trails behind. tiny sparks of blue drifting around your legs whenever the waves move.

you reach down and drag your fingers through the water.

light follows your hand instantly.

beautiful. ethereal. alive.

Akutagawa watches the glow reflect against your skin in silence.

then against your face.

your smile.

your eyes.

and suddenly the ocean is not the prettiest thing here anymore.

“come here,” you whisper gently.

he hesitates only briefly before stepping closer.

the water glows brighter around both of you immediately.

you laugh softly when a wave crashes against his legs, blue light bursting around him like scattered stars.

“…you’re glowing,” you tease.

“hn.”

but his attention stays entirely on you.

you reach for his hand beneath the water.

the glow curls around your intertwined fingers instantly.

for a moment neither of you speak.

the beach feels impossibly quiet.

like the entire world shrunk down to moonlight, ocean water, and the soft blue glow surrounding your bodies.

Akutagawa’s thumb brushes slowly against your hand.

gentle.

careful.

“beautiful,” he murmurs.

you smile softly. “the water?”

his gaze lifts to yours.

“…you.”

and honestly?

that might’ve been the most romantic thing he’s ever said.

a wave crashes harder around your waist, glowing bright enough to paint both of you blue.

you laugh quietly as Akutagawa pulls you closer against him before leaning down to kiss you.

slow.

cold ocean water around your bodies.

warm lips against yours.

the glowing waves moving around you like living starlight.

and when you pull back slightly, you catch the rarest thing of all, akutagawa smiling faintly beneath the moonlight.

꒰ sigma ꒱

“are you sure this is safe?”

Sigma asks this approximately five times before either of you even reach the water.

you laugh softly while pulling him farther down the beach by the hand.

“yes.”

“there could be jellyfish.”

“there are not jellyfish.”

“how do you know?”

“because I checked.”

Sigma still looks mildly unconvinced.

but he lets you tug him into the ocean anyway.

the water is cool against your ankles while waves roll softly toward shore beneath the dark sky. stars scatter faintly above you, reflected dimly across the water’s surface.

then a wave crashes around your legs.

blue light blooms instantly around both of you.

Sigma gasps.

actually gasps.

another wave glows brighter this time, sparkling electric blue around your bodies before fading back into darkness.

his eyes widen completely.

“…oh.”

you laugh at the expression on his face.

“pretty, right?”

Sigma kneels slightly, touching the water with careful fingers.

light trails follow every movement.

he stares in amazement as glowing blue swirls around his hands like liquid stars.

“this is incredible…”

the excitement in his voice makes you smile.

you move closer beside him, dragging your hand through the water too. glowing ribbons curl around both of your arms instantly.

the ocean lights up every time you move together.

soft blue beneath moonlight.

beautiful enough to feel unreal.

Sigma looks at you then.

really looks at you.

at the glow reflecting across your skin and the way your smile brightens every time the waves light up again.

his expression softens immediately.

“…you knew this would happen?”

“mhm.”

“…and brought me here anyway?”

“of course.”

he looks genuinely touched by that.

another glowing wave crashes gently against your legs while Sigma reaches carefully for your hand beneath the water.

the blue light wraps around your fingers instantly.

he smiles softly.

small. warm.

completely lovestruck.

“you look magical,” he says quietly.

you grin. “you look shocked.”

“I am shocked.”

you laugh harder at that.

sigma’s face warms pink almost immediately at the sound.

then he steps closer until the water shifts around both of you together, glowing brighter where your bodies touch.

his free hand brushes gently against your waist.

careful like he’s still nervous to hold you too tightly.

“this feels unreal,” he whispers.

“good unreal?”

“very good unreal.”

you lean closer.

the glowing water swirls around your legs again as sigma closes the remaining distance carefully and kisses you.

soft.

hesitant at first.

then warmer when you smile against his lips.

the waves glow brighter around you both with every movement.

like the ocean itself is sparkling beneath your feet.

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“i said I wanted to relax. there’s a difference.”

you hum like you’re considering it, then point at the ocean. “that is relaxing.”

chuuya squints at you.

then at the water.

then back at you.

“…you’re insane.”

still, he follows you down to the shore.

because of course he does.

the second the water touches his ankles, it’s over.

a wave rolls in harder than expected, and chuuya immediately stiffens as it hits his knees.

“tch-!”

you don’t even hesitate.

one arm hooks under his thighs, the other steadies his back, and before he can fully process what’s happening, you’ve lifted him clean off the ground.

chuuya freezes.

“…put me down.”

you adjust your grip slightly, walking deeper into the water instead. “nope.”

“I can stand in the water perfectly fine.”

another wave rushes in. it hits right where his legs would’ve been.

he clicks his tongue sharply.

“…I can mostly stand in the water.”

you snort.

“you’re short, chuuya.”

“I am not-”

a larger wave crashes in right after and would’ve gone straight over his waist.

if he wasn’t currently being held like a very annoyed, very elegant cat.

you feel him go rigid again.

“…don’t say it.”

“say what?”

“don’t say I need help.”

you grin. “you need help.”

“you-”

he reaches up and grabs your cheek, pinching it hard.

you don’t even flinch.

instead, you lean down slightly.

“careful,” you tease softly. “you’ll fall if I drop you.”

“I will kill you if you drop me.”

“romantic.”

once you get deeper into the water, chuuya slowly realizes something.

he’s not sinking.

he’s not struggling.

and most importantly, the waves aren’t swallowing him whole anymore.

because you’re holding him just high enough to stay above the roughest parts, adjusting effortlessly every time the water shifts.

“…you’re doing this on purpose,” he says quietly.

you hum. “doing what?”

“making me need you.”

you glance at him, amused. “you do need me.”

he goes quiet.

then scoffs. “…tch.”

but he doesn’t tell you to put him down again.

instead, his hands slide from your shoulder down to your collar, gripping lightly like he’s decided this is acceptable now.

the ocean moves around you both in soft, rolling waves.

for a moment, it’s quiet.

just wind. salt.

and chuuya staring at you like he’s trying not to smile.

“you’re enjoying this,” he accuses.

“enjoying what?”

“this stupid… carrying thing.”

you tilt your head. “maybe a little.”

his eye twitches.

“…unbelievable.”

you lean in then, just slightly.

close enough that the saltwater between you feels warmer.

and steal a kiss.

quick. soft.

chuuya immediately short-circuits.

“HEY-”

you laugh against his mouth.

“what? you’re not gonna fall. I’ve got you.”

he looks like he wants to argue.

he really does.

but another wave rolls in, and instead of arguing, he just tightens his grip on your shirt and pulls you back in for another kiss, this one longer, slightly annoyed, and very definitely not meant for anyone watching the beach.

“…you’re insufferable,” he mutters afterward.

you smile. “and you’re still in my arms.”

“…don’t get used to it.”

but he doesn’t ask to be put down.

not once.

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"my own girlfriend... insulting my beautiful face..."

he spends the next hour sighing dramatically whenever you walk past him.

"don't worry. i'll simply become a mysterious man whose beauty can only be appreciated by strangers."

the moment you laugh, he immediately grins.

"aha! so you still think i'm funny."

"...i never said that."

"close enough."

later that night, he quietly asks while resting his head on your lap,

"...you were joking... right?"

꒰ chuuya nakahara ꒱

"...the hell did you just say?"

he genuinely thinks he misheard you.

when you repeat it with a completely straight face, he narrows his eyes.

"...you're lucky i love you."

he walks over to the nearest mirror, fixes his hair, adjusts his coat, and looks back at you.

"be honest."

"..."

"am i?"

he tries acting confident, but the tiny crease between his brows gives him away.

once you finally tell him you were kidding, he flicks your forehead.

"don't scare me like that again."

꒰ ranpo edogawa ꒱

"...lying."

he doesn't even look up from his snacks.

"you're trying to tease me."

"...what if i'm serious?"

"you're smiling."

"..."

"your heartbeat didn't change."

he casually pops another piece of candy into his mouth.

"nice try."

he still ends up asking later,

"...you still think i'm cute though, right?"

꒰ ryunosuke akutagawa ꒱

he goes completely silent.

"...i see."

his expression barely changes, but something in his eyes dims.

he simply nods and quietly excuses himself.

the guilt hits you almost instantly.

when you find him later, he's standing alone, staring out the window.

"...i apologize if my appearance disappoints you."

your heart absolutely shatters.

he looks genuinely confused when you immediately hug him.

꒰ doppo kunikida ꒱

"...what?"

he blinks over the top of his notebook.

"did i hear you correctly?"

when you nod, he instinctively starts adjusting his tie.

"is my appearance untidy?"

"is my hair messy?"

"do i look exhausted?"

he immediately starts trying to figure out what changed.

when you finally admit you were joking, he lets out the biggest sigh.

"...please don't conduct unnecessary relationship experiments."

꒰ atsushi nakajima ꒱

"...oh."

his smile immediately disappears.

he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

"...that's okay."

"...looks aren't everything."

he says it so softly that you immediately regret teasing him.

he genuinely believes you.

when you start apologizing, he's more worried about comforting you.

"it's okay..."

"...really."

꒰ fukuzawa yukichi ꒱

he simply looks at you.

"...is that so."

his voice remains calm, but there's the faintest hint of disappointment.

he doesn't argue.

he doesn't defend himself.

he just accepts your opinion.

"...thank you for being honest."

which somehow makes you feel ten times worse.

you immediately grab his sleeve.

"wait- i was kidding."

he looks at you for a long moment before the tiniest smile appears.

"...i thought so."

꒰ fyodor dostoevsky ꒱

"...interesting."

he tilts his head.

"what changed?"

he isn't offended.

he's curious.

he starts asking questions like he's conducting research.

"when exactly did i stop being handsome?"

"was there a defining moment?"

"what qualities determine attractiveness?"

five minutes later you're somehow debating philosophy instead of teasing him.

he wins.

somehow.

꒰ nikolai gogol ꒱

"...WHAT?"

he gasps dramatically.

falls to his knees.

throws both hands toward the ceiling.

"THE TRAGEDY!"

"THE BETRAYAL!"

he spends the next five minutes asking random strangers.

"excuse me! am i handsome?"

you can't stop laughing.

he finally grins.

"mission accomplished."

꒰ sigma ꒱

"...did i... do something wrong?"

he immediately assumes it's his fault.

he quietly fixes his hair.

straightens his clothes.

"...i can change."

"...if there's something you don't like."

he looks so genuinely worried that you immediately cup his face.

he almost melts the second you tell him he's still the most handsome man you've ever seen.

꒰ saigiku jouno ꒱

"..."

he smiles.

which somehow feels dangerous.

"you hesitated before speaking."

"..."

"your heartbeat increased."

"..."

"you're lying."

he chuckles.

"you nearly had me."

then he leans closer.

"...say it again."

"...you're not handsome."

"incorrect."

꒰ tetcho suehiro ꒱

"...understood."

he accepts it with complete seriousness.

"...thank you for informing me."

"..."

"...should i change my hairstyle?"

"...or perhaps my diet."

he actually starts making a mental list.

you have to physically stop him before he asks strangers for appearance advice.

꒰ junichiro tanizaki ꒱

"...really?"

his ears immediately turn pink.

he awkwardly smiles.

"...i guess... i can't really argue."

he becomes noticeably quieter for the rest of the day.

when you apologize, he laughs softly.

"...i know you didn't mean it."

"...but maybe don't joke like that again."

꒰ michizo tachihara ꒱

"...excuse me?"

he laughs because there's no way you mean it.

"...good one."

"..."

"...wait."

"...you're serious?"

he immediately pulls out his phone and opens the front camera.

"nah."

"...nah, i still got it."

he spends the next hour fishing for compliments without even realizing it.

"this jacket still looks good though..."

"...right?"

the second you call him handsome again, he tries so hard to hide the smug grin spreading across his face.

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