Orphan Sestra

Aries: If you betray us again, I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career. And I love you, too.

Taurus: I could kill for some ice cream.

Gemini: I'm so... bored.

Cancer: I'm just here for my kids and I'm sorry that I ruined the play with my drinking.

Leo: This girl looks nothing like me. Like, first of all, my tits are way bigger, and secondly, even if you could drag a comb through that hair, she's like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a 10.

Virgo: I've been self-aware since I was a child.

Libra: I can handle it. Don't be a bitch.

Scorpio: You know, my security concerns, they're not jealousy. I'm French. We enjoy lovers.

Sagittarius: I just want to make, like, crazy science with you.

Capricorn: Whenever somebody talks about the future, I always say 'Show, don't tell.’

Aquarius: Da Vinci robbed graves to study anatomy. In a hundred years, they'll call me a pioneer.