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@orionlancasterr
Oc pantheon of grief and despair

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My first time operating CCTV cameras I was handed control over what was essentially 50 independently moving eyes that collectively covered an area about the size of a football field and from that experience I now know that
Suddenly having 50 moving eyes can make you disoriented and barfy and the adjustment period sucks ass
It takes both more and less time than you’d think to figure out what the structure as a whole looks like and where those eyes ARE
After you get used to it the entirety of the structure itself and all of the eyes you can see from feels like an extension of your nervous system in a very bizarre way. Like I have dreams now from the perspective of A Building and I’m not sure how to describe that.
Once you are aware of an unreachable blind spot it nags at you constantly and you can feel it like a hard little lump under your skin you need to poke and scratch at and it’s ardghgguychgghhbhhhbhhh
Unexpected rift among security specialists on this one as 50% of respondents say “Yeah I know exactly what you mean” and the other half drop in just to say “no OP is just a freak”
Bringing this back because I was on shift at this specific location the other day when one of the older cams got fried and I had to pull out the tower and rummage around in the wiring of my own damn eyeballs and maybe I AM the freak here but I'm disturbed to say it was an *extremely* bizarre and vulnerable feeling
Like being your own neurosurgeon
Also I'm blind in one of my 50ish eyes now and it feels like I lost a tooth in my brain
yes i spent a while studying chems so i could make this more accurate
ref ↓
Grace that saved a wretch like me
girl help i can't stop doodling the vigils keep grey wardens.

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One day ur a suicidal 15 year old and then suddenly you wake up and you're 22 years old and genuinely debating the merits of iceberg vs romaine lettuce in the salad ur making. Life goes on ig
SIMPLE GUIDE:
Body Horror: Things that cannot happen in real life. EX: The Thing, stomach mouths, eyes on hands, etc
Gore: Fresh injuries, often severe. EX: Severed leg, gutspill, deep gashes, etc
NEITHER: Healed injuries and burns, congenital differences, missing appendages, etc. If I could theoretically go to the store and see that character browsing the isles- It isn't body horror or gore. That's just a person. *AND the amount of people that tag, not just fictional characters, but real human beings as body horror is staggering. Its not solely a fandom issue, ableism and bigotry against anyone that looks sufficiently "different" is prevalent in real life and has devastating consequences.
(Modified) from my comment left on this post.
I have been a sheep caretaker for like two days and already I'm like. Wow. I get it.
I get why these were some of the earliest mammals to ever be domesticated. They look up to humans with this sort of dumb but all at once innocent and pure and trusting expression. They're happy to see you. They follow you around. They like to be rubbed under their chins. Maybe its just some latent Scottish highland shepherd DNA I still have in me but I look at my sheep charges and suddenly I see why the love of God for humanity is so often described as a shepherd and his sheep. I'd fight a wolf for these guys. I'd go way the Hell out of my way for them. I'd carry their young for miles on my own back.
nearly 80k reblogs and how many of you eat lamb
The ancient shepherds I'm referencing also ate lamb lol
op disabled reblogs but I think the point still stands
reminder that the books themselves also suck ass actually. there's an entire plotline endorsing slavery. the one character who advocates to end slavery is bullied and made fun of. the one slave who doesnt like being enslaved is bullied and treated as an outcast. the bankers are the picture of racist stereotypes of jewish people. the one asian character is named fckn Cho Chang. the worldbuilding SUCKS. fuck harry potter and fuck rowling. stop giving her your money.
We have this interesting situation where we basically no longer have privacy nor the expectation of privacy, but we also don't have community or meaningful connection with others, so we're all simultaneously both completely exposed and absolutely alone, and please understand that when I say this situation is "interesting", what I in fact mean is that it's "nightmarish and I wish I could wake up"

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People legitimately think there was no criticism of the Harry Potter series before her TERF/soft holocaust denier era and I'm sorry to tell you but people were criticizing the Cho Chang banking goblins werewolf-AIDS metaphor elf emancipation is silly series years before Joanne's public turn to transmisogynistic chauvinism.
There were things to criticize of the series.
NO you absolutely WANT your PLASTIC SURGERY procedures to be done by a PLASTIC SURGEON.
As in someone who is specifically trained in it and does it every day.
Someone who is not specifically trained in pleasing cosmetic results and not actively practicing pleasing cosmetic results is how you get horrifying cosmetic results
I cannot tell you how many episodes of Botched I've seen where someone with a mangled nose job says some shit like "My dentist did 2 for 1 rhinoplasty...."
Feels like an important clarification from prev
I have had a rant brewing for awhile now and this seems like as good a place as any for it:
The "plastic" in "plastic surgeon" did not get here to mean "cheap and fake."
Plastic, the word, predates plastic, the material. The material was named for its noteworthy quality.
"Plastic" means "shapeable." Workable, moldable, malleable, et cetera.
When the first reconstructive surgeries were being pioneered in the 19th century, working absolute miracles like restoring whole faces to girls and women who'd caught fire tending to their kitchen stoves, among a multitude of other devastating conditions, it was this miraculous reshaping that gave the surgery its name: plastic surgery, the shaping surgery.
Time passes, and plastic, the material, is developed, and goes from fantastic modern wonder material to byword for cheap imitation; plastic, the surgery, expands from reconstruction to aesthetic finicking, Barbie is introduced with her unrealistically-proportioned plastic body, and the phrase "plastic surgery" goes from indicating "the reshaping surgery (what a marvelous thing)" to "the fake face/fake tits/fake nose surgery (how vulgar and deceitful)."
Same phrase. Entirely different connotation.
Just sayin'.
You want the reshaping. Go for the plastic.
People seem to think of plastic surgery as for cosmetic purposes only. Kids getting plastic surgery is considered a sign of the fall of society. I got three plastic surgeries before I was 10. I was born with a facial birthmark that actually caused malnutrition as a baby (couldn't latch on) and a speech delay (couldn't put my lips together to form sounds). I was also treated as a pariah by fellow toddlers who were scared of me, which I think caused the social anxiety disorder I have today. My mom literally searched the country for the right surgeon. We had to take a week to go up to Boston Children's Hospital each time. The surgeon is famous in medical circles for the things he did for kids like me. Plastic surgeons are heroes.
the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this
if you could somehow procure a list of every person in the world who's ever had a crush on you would you do it
yes
no
touches U in a very weird but non sexual way

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RATE THE EXPERIENCE: Walking barefoot on tarmac, pavement or concrete
10 - Extremely satisfying
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1 - Extremely unpleasant
I've never experienced this before
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other