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so has anybody’s dad ever actually apologized to them, or is that just an urban legend

saying "it's okay. I'm only human" before glancing at a nonexistent audience with a slight smirk and a twinkle in my eye (the twinkle is an asterisk) (when you go to read the footnote attached it just says "in the beautiful garden of his imagination he is also another thing as well")

as much as i poke fun at “tumblr prose,” i will acknowledge that sometimes when you’re writing and you’re really in the groove, you’re really feeling yourself, you’re on your capital-a Author shit, and you write a line that makes you go, “oh yeah, this is the Good Shit. this is so Subtle and Says So Much. this is Characterization. this is Themes and Motifs. you could write a whole essay about this one line. the master of the craft strikes again!” and then a month or whatever later when you’re editing you read over it again with post-write clarity and you realize you wrote some real “people die when they’re killed” bullshit

as much as i poke fun at “tumblr prose,” i will acknowledge that sometimes when you’re writing and you’re really in the groove, you’re really feeling yourself, you’re on your capital-a Author shit, and you write a line that makes you go, “oh yeah, this is the Good Shit. this is so Subtle and Says So Much. this is Characterization. this is Themes and Motifs. you could write a whole essay about this one line. the master of the craft strikes again!” and then a month or whatever later when you’re editing you read over it again with post-write clarity and you realize you wrote some real “people die when they’re killed” bullshit

the thing is that pomegranates and blood and cannibalism and Fucked Up Deer are literally cool. like they're genuinely just sick as fuck and you simply cannot deny it without looking like a try-hard contrarian. they rule. sorry for thinking deep scarlet is an awesome color for things to be... as if it's my fault...

okay but honestly DID you ever love a woman with a death wish? something in her eyes like flipping off a light switch?

(guy who can draw horses and hands easily but can't draw hugs or kisses to save his life) yeah I just like it when the characters are just standing next to each other. no need to make their adoration too obvious you know. and I turned this one into a centaur,

I just got sent to jail & hell for playing a video game

I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.

They should invent joints that don't hurt for no reason

I would never get salmonella Because i am pure of heart