is there anybody out there?

in her head, she had imagined it many times what would happen when he got out. part of her thought that maybe he would have just forgotten about her. certainly, she felt like prison would change him whether it was for better or for worse. "i do believe that, leon. but that doesn't mean it wasn't fucking great or that i regret it." angie told him as he towered over her and she bit her lip. a sea of emotion hid behind her cold eyes which she wasn't sure he would still be able to read. "what do you want me to do, just drop everything and follow you to ends of earth again?"

he could move on from a lot of things... but her? she was what got him through prison. it didn't matter that he stopped hearing from her or whatever. he knew he she had to keep living but she was still the light peaking into his life. " i guess i expected more... " he didn't know what exactly but did he dream of them continuing where they left off? yes. leon had never told her but not long before he got arrested, he had went out to look for rings. who else would he want to be with rather than the girl who was always by his side? " don't let me stand in the way. if you want no part in my life than all you have to say is that. "

the fact that what they had meant something more than just a fling was obvious. however, they hadn't really talked about what it did mean and what the future would hold for them. "if only i could read your mind." a weak attempt at a chuckle that lacked humour was released as he carefully pulled her closer, eyes not leaving hers. "i promise." clyde told her honestly, because he already knew that instead of hurting her he would simply kill anyone she would tell this to. like it was any better. "i get that this is a lot." he kissed the top of her head as strong arms held her and he took a sharp breath in and out. "i grew up like this, it's what i know. but i'm entirely not a monster. — you have nothing to be scared of."

a smile pulled at the corners of her lips when he tried to ease up the mood. kennedy closed her eyes, letting her head rest against his chest. it was still a lot to take in and she knew it wasn't going to be easy. the world he seemed to be involved in was far away from her own. " i know you're not a monster. " she knew it in her core. she felt that even when she saw his arsenal. " i think... i-" the big l word always slipped her lips but she quickly caught herself. " nothing. " she felt so strongly about him and the fact that she was considering keeping his secret was crazy. she was crazy. " i won't tell anyone. "

old feelings she had pushed away in the sake of her sanity all came back up and she wished for things to have been different for them. who knew where they would be if none of it would have gone south like it had? "well that was before i fucking lost you!" the brunette exclaimed, something inside of her snapping and giving in to the side of herself that wasn't so polite. the palms of her hand landed on his chest and she wanted to push him away, but it was barely a real attempt. "at least that won't happen again with him." his degree would especially make sure of that. "we brought out the worst in each other."

leon wanted to tell her that she never lost him. no matter where they held him or for how long. he belonged to her and no one else. seeing her reaction made him see the angelina he once knew. feeling her palms against his chest made his heart beat faster. " you don't really believe that. " face was stern as he looked down at her. " we made a fuck ton of mistakes, hell i made a fuck ton of mistakes ... but you weren't one of them. "

"what? no, of course not." with a bit of a confused he shook his head as he inched closer to her and gently took her hand. "no one knows this. you do know, but i had to be sure this was real. you haven't even told me how you felt about me yet." in the midst of it all he had just confessed to her that she was important to him. however, due to the circumstances, that was probably not something that really stuck for her right now. "kennedy —" his jaws sharpened as he thought about the possibility and with a shake of his head he looked at her. "i won't hurt you, ever." a slight nod of his head followed. "i'll tell you everything you wanna know."

kennedy kept his gaze, even as he stepped forward, closing the space between them. deep breath as he took her hand. " you don't know what i feel for you... " the brunette hadn't put it into words but how could he not see how she looked at him? how safe she felt when he was holding her? she bit down on her bottom lip. " can you promise me that? " she softly squeezed his hand. ken wasn't only thinking about him using one of those weapons on her. she was thinking about her heart. it would hurt so bad if she found out that there was other things he was keeping from her. without being able to stop it, she leaned against him. her arms wrapped around him, needing to feel the comfort of having him close. " i don't want to be scared of you. "

"you would've ratted me out if you did — but you do blame me for moving on, don't you?" the years of trying to be a better person had perhaps made her weaker as she had to swallow down the lump in her throat. when he stepped closer, she tore her gaze away from him. "exactly, you don't know me anymore." she told him, her voice small and her heart beating rapidly. eyes went back to his and she forgot how to breathe. "can't you just be happy for me?"

jaws clenched at her words. of course he didn't want her to be happy without him, wasn't that obvious enough? just became he had been locked up, it didn't mean that it had changed anything for him. " no, at least you had some fucking balls when i knew you. you would've rather had died than live this kind of silly life. " he put his hands up in defeat. " fine, if you wanna play housewife and cook dinner for mr. harvard law student, then i'm happy for you. have a fucking blast. "

at some point he had to tell her about this, clyde knew that. the fact that it got out was not ideal, but he knew the day would come and it wouldn't be pretty. "i would've told you the truth, i just needed to know for sure i could trust you. the only other thing is that my family has a history of crime. they're — a story for another day, but everything else is true i promise." honestly if she would have been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared to explain himself. it would be a lot more likely that he would have killed her on the spot, but he had grown attached to her way more than he had ever planned to. "you and me, that was real."

" so you're making this my fault? you couldn't trust me and that's why you couldn't tell me? " another bomb was dropped and she could barely react. his family was involved with crime? it was all too much for her to wrap her head around. " and what if i don't believe you? " eyes started getting teary. " what happens then? you'll finish me like any bad guy? " obviously, she hadn't decided on what she was supposed to do after this. " if you want me to... understand, then you need to tell me everything. no holding back. " she was driving a hard bargain but that was just kennedy being herself.

the look in his eyes is too obvious and she was convinced he wasn’t trying to hide his resentment. “he’s a good guy.” she replied in defence, although nothing she could say would actually sound convincing. how could it be after what the two of them had shared? “would it have made you feel better if i didn’t get to move on? the same thing that happened to you could've happened to me." disbelief is in her eyes as they clearly didn't seem to be on the same page. "why won't you? it's been years."

" is that what you think? that i wanted you to end up in the same dump as i did? " he questioned, closing the space between them even further. " i'm happy you've been good but this... living on the fancy side of town with a harvard guy? who the hell are you anymore? " maybe he shouldn't question it but he couldn't help himself. " i guess time doesn't go by the same as i does out here. "

it was the moment of realization in her eyes that was painful to watch. "listen, kennedy. i care about you, okay?" he admitted as he followed her out of the room glad they could leave the space, but at the same time catching up to her to somewhat block the way out. "don't just walk out on me, please. we should talk about this."

she cared about him, more than she had yet to admitted to him but what did that mean now that she had gotten to know something she wasn't supposed to? it changed everything. kennedy stopped and stood frozen, brown eyes looked up to meet his. " you kill people. " she let her words hang in the air for a moment. " i-i ... you can't expect things to be the same now. i found a room full of... things, clyde! you had a secret collection of things and i had no idea. i mean... what more are you hiding from me? " her heart ached because what kind of secrets had he kept from her? maybe he wasn't the person she thought he was.

they leaned back against the sofa in the living room, anita closing their eyes with a quietened exhale. "do we just. . . cohabit this place until our respective vacations are over?" it was better than either of them spending it elsewhere; as it did cost money to find somewhere to stay anyway.

" i guess we don't have a choice, do we? " alessandra wasn't giving up her spot, she had planned this trip for a long time and she really needed it. a getaway to take a breather. " we can see what happens when the landlord calls back, then we know what to do. " it was getting late and maybe that was why they didn't get an answer? the brunette sat down on the other couch. would it be weird? had they made a mistake in trying to co-exist until they found out what the mix up was? " so... do you live far away from here? "

this wasn't something he wanted to spell out for her. saying it out loud made it sound so much more terrible than how it felt when he was doing it. "there are terrible people in this world, babe." his gaze is locked on her as he let out a soft sigh. "i just happen to end some of them. it's my job." and he was good at it. however, he could only imagine the things that were going through her mind right now. "please don't freak out, it's really not all that bad."

end some of them? " no... no you don't- " she avoided his gaze, looking down at the ground beneath them. " i really can't do this right now. " kennedy moved past him, trying to get out of his secret room.

part of her felt responsible for him going to prison. they had both been quite the lawbreakers back then and angie just had the luck not to get caught. however, she hadn't forgotten how it felt to be so alive. "you don't know him. he's in harvard law. he's picking me up in an hour to go to his charity event." she was a lot more nervous saying that to him than she looked. "leon —" lips parted to speak, but it wasn't easy to gather her thoughts now that she saw him after so long. "losing you was one of the hardest things i had to go through. i can't live like that anymore."

a scoff slipped past his lips. " wow, harvard law? " it seemed like she had sought out everything he hadn't been and would never be. " he sounds like a blast. " only a little jab at the new guy. " was it really? it seemed like you got by just fine. " deep brown eyes locked onto hers. he bit down on his bottom lip, keeping himself from saying anything stupid. " you got to move on... don't expect me to do the same. "

"well, they do serve a purpose of course. i don't know how to explain this to you." walking further into the room, he cleared out the desk as though there was still any chance to control the damage. "all the things i told you i do for work, i do. but i also do this. — take on jobs that require me to sometimes resort to these. but i assure you, this doesn't change anything."

face dropped, " what do you mean? " her brain had accepted the collection thing. even though it was weird and creepy, she could understand it. " and this is.... what? " she frowned, trying to keep up with what he was saying. " you're losing me here. you use them to... "

Open the fucking door, Lily!

her lips part to respond but no words follow. he was right. of course, he was right. even at their happiest, bea had always felt like something was missing in her marriage. "i know, i know—" she replied, her mind a mess of questions and loose plans. she just wanted to find a way out of her marriage relatively unscathed. "you would never lie to me, you're good—" her eyes search his uncertainly as she took an unsure step toward him. his confidence is simultaneously confronting and comforting. she couldn't ignore the truth anymore, not when he called it out. despite his belief in her, her self-worth was at an all-time low after being battered around carelessly during her marriage. "i don't—"

maybe he was overstepping, or rather... he definitely was. but how long had they known each other? mateo had kept his mouth shut, for the most part, and had accepted her decision to be with the guy. did he liked it? no. but was there much he could do about it? " tell me... what do you want? "

“stop acting like everything that happened is all just  my  fault  .”

" because it is your fault. what else do you want me to say about it? " the femme shook her head. " but you won't ever admit to it. "

it had been a long time and it wasn’t like the prison that had held him was around the corner. what the two of them had was something she never thought anything or anyone could ever compete with, but eventually came the time for her to move on so to say. “you’re out.” it was an observation that didn’t need addressing, but seeing him was a surprise. it caused her to quickly glance past him to make sure no one outside her apartment saw them. yet she could only pretend so much as even the way she looked gave away that she wasn’t quite the same. “forget, no — i just thought you’d want a fresh start after everything. to do things different from now on. it’s what i did.”

" i can see that's what you did. " she looked more polished than he had ever seen her. was the old angelina still in there somewhere? he wasn't sure now. " so, who's the lucky guy then? " he could only guess that she had moved on, probably with someone way different than him it seemed. leon took a step closer to her, " i liked my life the way it was before. i'm not trying to change anything. "