- orange

The difference is shown below. Study it.

Gifs by @livelovecaliforniadreams, and thank you because I didn't notice Carmy agreeing.

I think if we could say their relationship is based on how much they act like anchors for each other's insecurities... these are the two key anchors: courage and peace.

So what does this mean? Peace for Carmen comes from order, the opposite of chaos. Sydney is the most honest and kind person that Carmen has ever met. She is also the one who brought order, accountability, and respect to the Bears' chaotic system. Because a bunch of regulated people is what comes up in an abusive household. Sydney is also peace in that she doesn't hold Carmen's mistakes against him as punishment, but she constantly asks him to do better for himself and others. For Carmen, peace equals being safe from the abusive dynamics he learned in Donna's house. While Donna actively dismissed him his whole life and doesn't even know him, Sydney knows him better than anyone.

And why is Carmy Sydney's courage? Because she grew up with an overprotective father, losing a parent at a young age, her father resorted to overprotecting as a coping mechanism, and she ended up feeling like a worry to her dad, a burden. Her whole dream sequence at the theater? It's about stage freight. She has always been afraid of not being enough. Of not being worth the effort. So here comes Carmy, MY WHOLE LIFE STARTED WHEN YOU WALKED IN Berzatto.

And I think that says a lot about why they work together as a romantic pair. Because what they provide for each other is how they have been coping this far. Sydney provides peace/order because she is an over planner and over analyzer. She wants to do things the best way they can be done to avoid disappointing people and proving herself she can do these hard things (another reason why he wants to be the best). She says she gets early to meetens because she can't help it (like her dad). But her father also reassured her emotionally. She wants to be efficient with food and provide for those who are hungry. She is a giver. While Donna took and took so much for the little she gave. Peace and order were her coping mechanisms as a kid.

And Carmy gives Sydney courage because that's what he needed as a kid. he had the courage to believe he had all the potential his family tried to ridicule him for. He gives her words of affirmation because he was insulted. He gives her power over the restaurant and choices because he was never given power over his own life. He wants to be a friend to her because he never had one.

And what does he do when Syd is going through a crisis and is paralyzed by fear? He gives her support and a comprehensible list of actions so she doesn't spiral into overthinking. He makes her believe things are gonna be okay. That he wants to be there.

We were robbed of the hospital scene, Storer. I hate you, you'd better give me something that provides me emotional catharsis for this. I need them crying in each other's arms.

I guess I needed to write this as reassurance lol. Because I do feel Carmy has caused Sydney levels of distress and anxiety that have to be accounted for. Sydney also gives Carmen anxiety when she pulls away emotionally, even though it is only justified. Their issues mostly revolve around trying things to make the partnership work that don't land. Carmen gives "gestures" when Sydney wants actual commitment. Sydney gives stability, but that's not enough to save Carmen; only he can fix himself. Carmy hasn't accepted Sydney's peace either; he keeps denying himself of her. Not everyone can sustain a relationship with someone who is deep in self-loathing and self-sabotage, not to mention unloaded trauma, as @sonoranbumblebee has suggested in their theories the past month. Vampira certainly cannot sustain a relationship with Carmen, as I have discussed with @morningssofgold; she is just taking advantage of his weakness and might actually make it worse.

tagging @waywardangel-wilds and @whrky because it was a re-post of theirs that made me wanna talk about this. Also @juniper-is-in-the-house @notthebear @adamuschef

ayo letting jeremy know he's up next at the golden globes <3

augh!!!!! ayo for citizen magazine