Cabin life

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Today's Document
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

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Cabin life

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omg omg loved the derek fic so much, i’ll be anxiously waiting for part two ❤️🫶🏻
million dollar man | derek danforth x reader - part 2
thank you so much anon!!! so glad you liked it! :') hope you enjoy this part! <3
word count: 3.5k
warnings/disclaimers: (18+ only!) fem!reader (no use of y/n), one reference to being high, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, girl, etc), making out/kissing, hickeys on reader, explicit consent, descriptive fingering & oral (f receiving), overstimulation (in a way), filthy dirty talk, praise w/ hardly any degradation, established control by derek, tiny bit angsty, cute fluff w/ a happy ending <3
for the biggest derek fucker i know, @sugarevans: i hope you love it just as much as i loved writing it for you 🤍
ao3 link | masterlist
read part 1 here! a lot of things might not make sense if you haven't :)
You never thought you’d ever be in this position.
Making out with Derek Danforth; hands gripping every inch of your body, high out of your mind, is something most wouldn’t ever imagine doing.
Yet, here you were, doing just that.
And hell, was it better than you ever imagined.
being the derek danforth’s special girl probably sounds like this:
million dollar man | derek danforth x reader
summary: Derek Danforth takes great pleasure in paying for your company and your company only. He’s also a grade A asshole, who doesn't know how to take no for an answer. You come to him on a strict schedule, and, usually, he respects your life aside from him. But, for some reason, you can’t ever seem to get a hold of an evening with your friends without his intrusions. Corrupted with need, Derek persuades you to come to him with an offer of something.. more. Something that he knows will get your attention. What happens when the night ends in a way you wouldn't possibly expect?
word count: 3k
warnings/disclaimers: (18+ only!) fem!reader (no use of y/n), slight spoilers for "the beekeeper", reader's a broke college student, substance use (reader & derek smoke a joint and get high), (that's the "more" in the summary if that matters to anyone btw), use of pet names (baby, babe), derek's an asshole and a bit toxic (as expected), maybe ooc derek but? in a way, reader makes derek want to be better, a bittt of angst but it's worth it i promise, kissing, yeaa i think that's it, part 2 will have smut ofc!, this is kinda all over the place but i hope it makes sense lmfaoo
authors note: hi! i've been so so occupied w/ college, so i apologize sincerely for my sudden, longgg hiatus :') i miss writing all of the time </3 but, i saw the beekeeper on saturday and felt the need to write again! i've been super into jhutch for the past few months, so i hope you guys enjoy this one <3 part two should be coming asap :) so, consider this my brief comeback? but not really? i'm unpredictable
ao3 link | masterlist
part 2 coming soon!
Being one of the girls Derek Danforth keeps around, you’re bound to deal with some of the bullshit that comes along with it.
But unbeknownst to you, he likes you a little more than he'd like to admit.
He hasn't seen any of the others in weeks now, his mind only occupied with his thoughts of you and when you're not around. And when you're actually with him, paying for the pleasures of your company, he can't help but want more from you when he knows that's beyond your limits.
It's simple, really.
He's a lonely man, and he knows that; knows that his personality is hard to swallow and tolerate. Knows it's pathetic that all he can do is pay for people to actually stick around.
But, there's only so much a lonely man can take.
PLEASE I NEED DEREK DANFORTH’S FANFICS PLEASE PLEASE I’M BEGGING

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GUYSSS, I was invited to the avant premiere of the beekeeper and I promise you that you will lose your mind with Derek Danforth 😭😭 HE’S THE MOST FUCKING HOT GUY IN THIS UNIVERSE
just imagine peeta mellark with mullet :-)
and i promise i’ll post the pt6 of playlist for a star ok😭
GUYZ I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE BEEKEEPER I’M PRETTY SURE THAT JOSH GONNA SLAY THE TEN SECONDS HE WILL HAVE ON SCREEN
A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS 🎄
🌟 peeta mellark x afab!reader
one shot, just cute things.
summary: it’s your first christmas after the war and Peeta give his best try for see you happy.
It was your first Christmas after the war, several of you had survived and now you lived peacefully but it was your first Christmas without your family. Despite the poverty of the district, your family always did everything possible to have beautiful traditions at Christmas, doing banal things such as having dinner together, exchanging some meaning gifts and having family moments that marked your entire life, really this year the last thing you wanted was to celebrate but Peeta, your boyfriend, had insisted a lot on making a celebration in the victor’s village with Katniss, Haymitch and the few that were left of them.
It was difficult for you not to feel like a stranger, they are the closest thing to what a family was but it was difficult for you to take it as such, Christmas was always marked by the moments with your parents, your siblings and other people, it was the first time you spent this holiday with people who were not of “your blood”, your memories were so happy that your sadness and anguish overshadowed any other emotion you could feel in the present, now you were surrounded by people but you felt more alone than ever.
On the other hand, Peeta’s optimism was relentless, he was that sun you see in the middle of the storm, that boy was your ground wire at all times, he was so sweet that you didn’t think you deserved someone as pure as him, Peeta was in charge of organizing everything, from cooking dinner and making delicious desserts to even decorating his home for the guests, you were appreciating each of the actions he did, because you knew that he knew that this was important for you, who were not working in the kitchen, helped put things on the table and Keep clean for dinner, Peeta had seen that in the capitol they put a kind of tree decorated with shiny balls and was in charge of having one at home to increase the decoration of the place.
You were all in your best clothes, you had eaten delicious, you had laughed and had spent really beautiful moments, you received several gifts that were charming and it couldn’t be more perfect, even so, there was a certain void that nothing could fill, this moment would be ephemeral and then you would return home, alone, without your family, you would never have them again, no matter what happened, you would always be alone. All of you were drinking and talking about some of your experiences in the district, remembering that time when everything was worse than now, you were still absorbed in your thoughts about the family, about the future, about your loneliness, you felt Peeta’s hand on your leg, you looked him in the eyes and saw the concern in his eyes, you could never lie to him, because your boyfriend already knew you too much. “We will go for a walk, we will be back soon,” he said with his characteristic kind voice before getting up, taking your hand and walking out of the house, before leaving he took his coats so that they could be covered, the snow was falling again, so it was too cold to walk without a coat.
“I know what you’re thinking and I don’t like that you’re thinking about it so much,” you watched his beautiful eyes as you heard him speak, you intertwined your hand with his to walk, you tried to ignore what he had said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Peeta,” you murmured, the sound of the snow accompanied every step they took. “You think that after this there is nothing, I know that you were very attached to your family, I know how much it hurts, I also lost my family... I don’t have anyone else anymore” You could notice the sadness in his voice but also the worry. “You have me, Peeta, you have Haymitch, Katniss, Effie, you have us all” you stopped to be able to be in front of him, you wanted to be able to appreciate his face.
“The same for you, you still think you’ll be alone and I don’t like that you feel that way, I don’t know what to do so that you don’t feel like that, I would like to tear that pain and put it on me so that you never have to suffer” His words made you shudder, this man was simply too much for the world, your eyes shone and suddenly everything seemed clear, you were going to respond to what he said until you saw him kneeling in front of you, taking out a little box and showing a ring inside it, it was beautiful, now you were shaking. “Merry Christmas, my love, I know that This is a long way to go, I know that none of us will be able to fill that void left by those you loved but I need you to know that I love you with every part of my body, my whole heart dances for your existence and as long as I live, I will do my best so that you do not feel alone, I will remove all your fears, I will calm your nightmares and support you every time you think you will fall, because I will never let you fall, I will give every minute of my life to you and we will form our own legacy, we will have more Christmas to celebrate and we will create memories full of love, do you want to get married With me?”
At this point, you and Peeta were crying, you nodded your head and saw the most beautiful smile you had ever seen, that boy was totally bewitched by you and you couldn’t be more grateful to have it, this would definitely be your most unforgettable Christmas.

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currently watching future man and you got me, is cinema 🚬🚬🚬
OVER THE INFLUENCE
(pt5 of ‘playlist for a star’)
PEETA MELLARK X AFAB!READER
previous part - next part soon
summary: You were rescued from the capitol and you were taken to the 13th district but your reunion with Peeta Mellark was different from what he wanted.
a/n: Hi guys!! i expected post this in the week but a stupid coward guy stole my phone while i returned to my home after work >:( fortunately i’m fine now and at least i recovered my stuff and buy a fucking new phone, definitely peeta mellark never treat me like this -.- happy xmas !!
(y/n’s pov)
Every cell in my body hurt, I was so drowsy that I had already lost count of how many times I had been lucid or unconscious, I have lost my idea of time and my life more than anything else. My last lucid memory was me about Peeta, hitting him until everything went black, my biggest fear was not to have killed him, Peeta Mellark should not be here free as if he had not hurt me, as if he had not destroyed everything around us. The light (of what I suppose was the hospital) felt too blinding to allow me to open my eyes suddenly, so I fought to open them for a few minutes, the voices were clearer and I felt my head hurt once again, I was already getting used to the feeling.
I tried to move, anxiety took hold of my body when I felt my limbs tied to the bed, this couldn’t be happening to me again, was this a Mellark’s plan? Did you want to rescue me to finish killing me here? My desire to be dead increased every second, I no longer remembered what it was like to be without that desire. Possibly they will have seen me fight, because it took a few minutes for Haymitch to enter the cold room, I didn’t know how to feel, for a moment I felt happy to have someone who maybe didn’t want me dead but my fear and distrust couldn’t disappear so easily.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered with weakness, I felt that I would burst into tears, it was the only thing I had been able to do without restrictions in recent weeks. “I came to see you, apparently if it was as terrible as they told me... do you know what happened?” I wanted to laugh at his words but it was more like a grimace, I shook my head, I knew that I had tried to kill Peeta Mellark but beyond that, I didn’t know anything, I didn’t know if he had died, I didn’t know where I was, I also knew that Peeta Mellark was being the face of the revolution and I was suffering the consequences, of the rest of the winners I didn’t know anything, I just know that they rescued us from the capitol.
“This is Peeta Mellark’s fault, you know? He was stupid, he got into this revolution and thanks to that I’m tied up here, I’m not even sure what they did to me or where I am! I hope I killed him!” The beeps of the monitor indicated that my heart was racing, I was shaking and my voice was barely audible, I felt helpless, full of anger and anguish, I just wanted to feel safe, I wanted someone to protect me, I no longer had anyone to trust.
“Don’t worry, y/n, they subjected you to a type of torture called hijacking, they give you tracker jacker’s venom while they alter your memorices so that you feel fear or danger with things related to that, that’s why you attacked Peeta and that’s why you want to kill him, I need you to remember who he is and what it is for you, I assure you that Peeta has never wanted to harm you, he didn’t know about the plan of the revolution” Haymitch’s voice sounded honest, I wanted to believe him, I needed to believe him but my fear was bigger, what if Peeta came in and I was unarmed? What could I do? I’m not really the strongest person and I’m a little shorter than him, considering that I’m malnourished, doped and weak, although I remember that when I attacked him, he didn’t do anything to defend himself, he simply allowed me to hit him even knowing that I was at a clear disadvantage.
“Is Mellark still alive?” I didn’t even want to say his name, I had to feel far from him, far from where he could hurt me, I wanted the answer to be negative. “He has some bruises but he’s fine, he’s been seeing you all these days, he’s like crazy for not being able to do anything... when you recover and you can return to normal, you’ll appreciate not having killed him, y/n” Why was he seeing me? I knew it, he’s waiting for the moment to kill me.
“He’s going to kill me as soon as he sees me, Haymitch, you need to stop him, you need to kill him before he kills everyone!” I twisted in bed while I cried and screamed, I felt again how my head was filled with voices and memories without stopping, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t fight my fear, I fought against the ties until my wrists bled, the sound of the door made me out of the trance.
Haymitch had left the room, instead, I found the presence of Peeta Mellark, watching me astonished and with sadness, he looked bad, his dark circles quite marked, his hair was messy and some bruises of the beating I had given him a couple of days ago were still visible, my heart shuddered, I didn’t know what I was feeling but he looked vulnerable, I wanted to throw myself into his arms and be in his chest while caressing my hair, the memories attacked my mind, some were beautiful and others horrible, I wanted to move those thoughts away but he couldn’t, he He had hurt me, it was all his fault. “You look terrible, Mellark,” I spat, trying to settle in bed, thinking of some way to defend myself if he approached me.
He sketched a sad smile and just as he expected, he approached a little but he did it slowly, he knew that I was alert. “You look as beautiful as ever, y/n, I am happy to know that you are here, safe, I will do my best so that you can be calm again, I will never forgive myself for this” His voice was so sweet that I felt that I would fall into his game, it was what he wanted and he was not going to give in.
“You should have thought about it before letting them take me, your role as a loverboy is over and it wasn’t with me who you should play it with, so you don’t need to come and tell me nice things because I don’t believe you, you’re a liar!” I could barely speak, crying and anguish had opposed my position of being hard, I was being vulnerable again and worse, I was being vulnerable in front of the person for whom I had become like this.
“Y/n, this is not a game, I love you from the first time I saw you and you know it, look at your hand, you still have the ring, you and I are secretly married, don’t you remember?” I looked at my hand, the damn ring was still there, it didn’t even seem to have any scratches, it was intact even after everything that had happened. I remembered that night, I remembered the warmth of his arms and the honey taste of his soft lips, I missed that feeling, inside me awoke that feeling of protecting him and loving him madly.
“Peeta Mellark, I will regret offering myself for the quarter quell until the end of my days, I should have let you enter there alone, I would have saved myself a lot of pain if I had not offered to enter with you, ‘cause you were going to enter as it was, you should have died there” It was the last thing I said before seeing the blond burst into tears and almost running out of the room.
————————
I did not see Peeta Mellark again the rest of that week, luckily I had already been allowed to leave the room accompanied by people or handcuffed in case I was alone, with a lot of therapy and a lot of crying, I could remember some things and I learned ways to discern the real from the false, although of course I had days when I did not know who I was or where I was, I was still unstable despite the fact that it was no longer as terrible as it had been at first, I began to realize that therapies and all those things were working when I could Having good memories with Peeta Mellark, I was enjoying those memories in the meadow and our sunsets together but all that was part of my mind, I didn’t know how I would react if I saw him again.
I would have liked to have enjoyed my calm and being taken care of all the time but apparently Coin decided that it was a good idea to send me to the battlefield along with the rest, they mentioned some propos.
My arrival at the squadron was not particularly pleasant, what did you intend to send me there? Right now I was only a malnourished and traumatized little girl, if I didn’t have my daggers it would be of no use and the only thing they gave me was an unloaded weapon, so the confusion was even greater, I was received with Katniss and Gale pointing at me while Peeta Mellark watched me with a look that this time I could not decipher, I assumed that for him my income was as spontaneous as it was for me.
“President Coin has sent to y/n to help us with the propos, she will be given an unloaded weapon and we will have turns to watch her, is that okay? He’s here to let you know that he’s on our side” The boy named Boggs or something like that spoke, everyone nodded to the orders without saying anything except Peeta, who offered to take care of me, the alarms went off in my head, maybe this was his time to kill me, I tried to think rationally and think that I wouldn’t be able to do something like that.
Or maybe yes.
————
taglist: @mellaurks
playlist for a star this next weeeeeeek :-) long chapter !!!
peeta mellark the type of man to stick his hand between ur thighs under the table at dinner while having the nerve to force you to make conversation
“SAY DON’T GO” ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
(pt4 of playlist for a star series)
PEETA MELLARK X F.READER
pt1 / pt2 / p3 / next part !! ^^
Summary: You and Peeta were tributes for the quarter quell, so they tried to stay together until they couldn’t do it anymore.
a/n: i speak Spanish so the story was originally written in Spanish and then I translated it into English, plz don’t be rude if there is a mistake !! 😞
warnings: Mentions of death, violence, angst, torture.
The days had been chaotic, interviews, training, dealing with the other tributes and looking for allies, Peeta and you had obtained a 12 in the tests, from Peeta you understood it but for your part, you came to the conclusion that it was in revenge for offering yourself instead of Katniss to enter the arena again, you feared for your life but especially for Peeta’s. You needed him to return home, Katniss was temporarily out of risk, so if you were dead, and you were going to do it, Peeta wouldn’t be alone, he could live a life With Katniss if they had to continue with the farce of the lovers.
Peeta and you didn’t waste any time, when they shouldn’t leave the apartment assigned to the 12th district and they were out of risk of being seen, you spent the whole day stuck together, talking about everything, about life, about what it would be like when they left, about how they wanted things to change, they were in their own world where nothing could harm them, the days before the games, you made sure that your boy didn’t miss a single sunset, you knew that he loved them and how important they were for both of you, once they entered that arena, no sunset could be beautiful if it was corrupted by evil.
It was time to sleep, Peeta took you in his arms and took you to bed, he sat in this one still with you clinging to him like a koala, you didn’t even want to see him in the face, you couldn’t, you were crying in silence, the blond felt your tears on his neck and let out a sigh, he was trying to contain the tears too, they both knew it was their last night together, in the morning they would both be on their way to the fucking sand. His hands caressed your waist and your hair, he cleared his throat before he could talk.
“Effie wanted us to wear something golden, he said it was something like a token, so that they know that we are a team and that we will endure until the end, I asked her to please give me this for you, I want you to take it and be strong just in case...”
“Shut your fucking mouth” you let go of interrupting him, you knew what he was going to say and you weren’t going to accept him saying it, you sobbed and stuck more to him, if possible, you let him keep talking, you wanted to hear the melody of his voice. “You know what can happen, beautiful, I’ll die there and I want you to take this so that you don’t lose hope, you’re going to leave that place alive anyway, you’re good, you’re fast, you know how to handle daggers and swords better than anyone else” Peeta’s voice could make you believe anything but this time you knew it wouldn’t be like that, you were going to die and your boy would come home but he didn’t know about it, you just wished he could forgive you for this.
He took your hand and extended it towards him, took something out of his pocket and put it on your ring finger, you separated to see it and you saw a beautiful ring, it had a precious stone in the shape of a star, it looked expensive but luxury did not surprise you in the slightest, Peeta’s heart was what sheltered your soul, he showed you his hand, he wore one to match yours on the same finger. “If I die, I want to die being yours, y/n, I want you to know that you and I are married regardless of what the rest knows” His eyes were as full of tears as yours, you kissed his lips in desperation, your breathing was agitated and your hands tried to caress every part of his existence. “I love you, Peeta Mellark, no matter what happens, I’ll always love you with all my strength, even if I die, I will continue to love you and illuminate your path forever, I will never let anything harm you” you did not wait for an answer, you did not need it, they both lay in bed without separating of the kiss, you couldn’t stand the desire to love him anymore.
———————————
In your nightmares you were in a beautiful room, you could tell that it was from a classy place, your body burned and you felt that your head was going to explode, you felt pain but you didn’t know where, the confusion was too much, the blows came back, you begged them to stop but they didn’t listen to you, someone pulled your hair and forced you to look forward, you expected your death to come but you met Snow in front of you, with a horrible smile.
“Miss y/n, the only thing you had to do was let Katniss Everdeen enter the arena, maybe we could have saved your loverboy, or do you think i didn’t know?” Fear made you feel paralyzed, the pain ceased and his words echoed in your head, you felt stupid, you should have left Peeta, you should have kept him away as he was, you cried desperately. A puncture made you return to the reality of your nightmare, the images were in front of you while Snow’s voice did not stop resonating in your mind, they were memories of your life and in each of them, Peeta Mellark hurt you, he hurt Katniss, he was damaging everything, you began to hallucinate, Peeta wanted to kill you, you didn’t understand why, you loved each other!
“Peeta Mellark betrayed you, y/n, he delivered you to be free” Snow laughed next to you as you writhed from the pain feeling more syringes in your body, now you were on the floor. “I’m just trying to protect you, y/n, now you know the truth, if you cooperate I will be able to give you the best of lives away from Peeta Mellark,” he continued showing your memories, they looked strange and some bright but you associated it with whatever they were injecting at you. You remembered him, Peeta had abandoned you in the arena, badly injured, possibly he had been victorious, you would have thanked him if it were not because now you needed him to die, Peeta was a liar, he never loved you and it was always a lie to be able to win him, he didn’t care about anyone, his plan was always to kill you.
They weren’t nightmares, they weren’t bad memories, everything was true, all that seemed real.
——————————
You opened your eyes suddenly, where the fuck am I? You thought, every part of your body hurt and the dizziness didn’t let you think, what looked like doctors were checking you but as soon as you realized this, you screamed desperately. “Please stop, kill me, I beg you!” The doctors took your arms and you cried inconsolably, without stopping begging. “you’re fine, calm, you’re in the 13th district now, you’ve been rescued from the capitol” you couldn’t believe the words of an unknown person, so you fought until you got tired or rather, they managed to calm you down. Once you were calmer, one of the doctors spoke to you and briefly explained what had happened, you felt stupid because of the way she spoke to you but you were already exhausted from trying to fight, you had already passed so much that at least an hour without torture was a miracle for you.
You allowed them to be checked, your body was weakened and you had lost weight considerably, your whole body had marks and scars from your weeks in the capitol, you kept crying in silence while thinking about what you did to deserve all that pain, all that suffering, the answer did not take long to arrive, because you heard a familiar voice behind you, you heard his steps running while he shouting to let him in, he came to kill you, you knew it but you were not going to give him pleasure. You turned slowly to see him, his eyes overflowed with tears and his gaze was full of love, liar, he was a mutt, he wanted to deceive you again to fall, for a moment you almost believed him, something in you wanted to run and kiss him but your survival instinct was greater, when you felt his warmth near you, you took him by the neck and threw him to the floor, putting yourself on him, Peeta choked a scream and fear took over his features, you hit him until they fell asleep again.
————————
I posted it again because I didn’t like the previous one I uploaded, I hope you like it! I want to finish it soon :-) I’m also accepting requests for other fics !!! 🌸
taglist: @mellaurks

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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guyz i’m rlly sad about some things that happened in my life lately, i think maybe i’ll continue the fic asap to keep my mind busy !! :D
THE GREAT WAR ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ (pt3
(playlist for a star series)
PEETA MELLARK X F.READER
pt1 / pt2 / next part
Summary: Peeta and Katniss must get married now to calm Snow or so they think.
a/n: i speak Spanish so the story was originally written in Spanish and then I translated it into English, plz don’t be rude if there is a mistake !! 😞
The engagement was made public, they made sure that each person in Panem knew about the wedding, they gave all the world’s attention to the show, the capitol made everything about the lovers of the 12th district, again.
Every thing that happened, every protest, every uprising, every arrest, they covered everything with the great ceremony of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark.
Even with all the public attention they had, Peeta and you took advantage of every second they were hidden to continue loving each other as always, it was not just physical contact, you were really spending quality time, they took care of your flower garden in the victor’s village, as if it were about taking care of their love, they cooked together and every time they laughed together it was as if there was nothing else, it was almost like before, when they could, they escaped to some meadow where they could not see them, today was one of those days. The sound of the river was relaxing, this was accompanied by Peeta’s heartbeat, it was an orchestra for your ears, you were lying on his chest while the colors of the sunset were scattered throughout the sky, the breeze caressed your face, you smiled at the delicious sensation, Peeta left a kiss on your head and you felt that you could die there in his arms, you got up a little to be able to observe him but without separating much from his body.
“What are you thinking, loverboy?” You said while you let out a little laugh, you saw how he rolled his eyes by the nickname and bit your arm gently in a playful way before speaking. “I was thinking of us, I would like all this to end soon, I want to be with you y/n, I want us to have a family, I want to escape forever to a place where they can never find us, I don’t want the capitol to continue to own our lives, we should have escaped after your games.” He paused as he watched you with the most beautiful eyes that exist, stroked the back of your hand and left a little kiss in that place. “You don’t know how happy I feel every time I have to see wedding preparations, try on outfits and photo shoots but all that happiness goes to hell when I remember that it’s not you I’m marrying.”
Some tears fell down your cheeks at his words, it sounded so sad and lost, you wanted to protect him at all costs, why should something so beautiful feel pain? You didn’t have the words to answer him, you took his face in your hands and started a slow but intense kiss, you needed him to feel everything you were feeling, his hands caressed your waist, squeezing gently as they intensified the kiss, it was as if both were desperate to feel the other but it was still delicate and intimate. “Now it will not help us to escape, Peeta, they were going to find us no matter where we went, I have faith that all this will end at some point, I think that now Snow must be at peace with them getting married, he will not stop but at least he will calm the waters a little, while you and I will continue as we are, you know that you are mine and that’s what matters to me” Your words sounded soft, it was a great consolation for the blond, you laid back on his chest and dedicated yourself to giving him a lot of caresses, you knew that he was uneasy, all They were.
They had reasons to be…
——————
You decided to be alone for a while since Peeta had to keep seeing other things, your house felt alone and a little cold without his presence, you lay on the couch and turned on the TV, you didn’t usually watch TV because you really preferred to avoid things related to games or the capitol, not seeing that screen helped you get away from reality a little, that night you wished more than ever not to have turned on the damn screen, You saw Snow’s unpleasant face.
“The tributes will be chosen from those who have won before”
Your stomach turned. You appreciated oxygen too much at that time, because in a matter of seconds you felt your chest tight and as panic took over every part of you, you were so afraid, this feeling did not compare to any other fear before, not even when your name was chosen for the hunger games or when you heard Effie Trinket say the name of the person you love most in this life, now it was worse, there were chances that you would enter the quarter quell and you knew that if you were chosen, Peeta would enter at all costs, he would give your life for You without even hesitation. You needed to do something but you couldn’t think, you were on the floor while you cried and screamed in pain, the panic had paralyzed each of your senses, you lost track of time.
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You were walking towards Haymitch’s house, you had hit your head so many times that your forehead was bleeding and you were a total mess, you were pale, your hair tangled from pulling it so much, you looked horrible, the blows had left you stunned but you appreciated it, it was just what you needed, not to think. The door of the house was open, you entered without asking and saw him drinking as usual.
“It seems that someone didn’t like the news... your forehead is bleeding” Haymitch’s drunken words resonated in your head, you just let out a laugh, it was obvious that you knew you were bleeding.
“I need you to offer yourself as a tribute if they choose Peeta, it is obvious that Katniss will come out as a tribute, They want her to fight, Snow hates her and wants to see her dead, so I will offer myself, instead for Snow, Peeta is not a threat” Your voice sounded lost but you had no doubts about everything you said, you were sorry to lose Haymitch but nothing mattered if Peeta was safe, even your life did not matter.
“Wow... not even a ‘please’, sweetheart.” He laughed and drank more of his glass, you ignored his words and waited for some useful answer. “Peeta came half an hour ago to beg me to save you while you were trying to commit suicide even without knowing if you can get in there or not, Katniss kept asking me to help them, it seems that today is my day to be the most sought-after man in Panem but I will do it, because you deserve it and because I need to give a little emotion to my life” His words were firm, apparently he had already made the decision a lot before you asked him for something.
“Thank you, Haymitch, seriously, I’m very afraid” You hugged him and sobbed him, you felt your head burn from the blows you had given yourself and for having cried for a long time.
“You need to see Peeta, that he help you heal that wound before you pass out again or something like that” His words reminded you of that time you fainted from anxiety when Peeta was chosen in the reaping. You nodded in response to his words and went out in the direction of your boy’s house. As soon as you saw it, your heart broke into a thousand parts, he looked so sad and worried, he ran to meet you when it noticed all the blood on your face. “y/n, are you okay? Hey, honey, what happened?” His voice sounded as if he wanted to cry again, you regretted being so unconscious as to be able to respond, you simply let yourself fall into his arms, Peeta carried you to the house and took care of you with all the love in the world, he bathed you and took care of your wounds, you loved that it to be like that, actions like these made you fall in love with him every day, you slept entangled in his body, you didn’t want to leave him, you needed to be as close to him as possible.
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Peace was ephemeral, now you were walking towards the stage, escorted with peacekeepers, you knew what you were going to, so you walked with your forehead up, strutting that you were going to die and that you were not afraid of that.
Lie.
You knew that at all costs you were going to enter that arena again, being elected or voluntary, you had spoken to Katniss, you begged her not to offer herself in case your name came out, she refused but you managed to convince her, although this time you did not trust her word, it was sure that she had made some promise with Peeta but it certainly did not worry you, you knew that it was Katniss who they wanted to kill.
Effie’s voice this time was not celebratoous, it sounded more like a sad attempt to make things more lively but it wasn’t going to turn out, everyone knew it was unfair for them to come back, especially for Katniss and Peeta who had just gone through this.
“Katniss Everdeen” Effie’s voice exclaimed, you felt Peeta’s gaze on you and in a matter of seconds you had offered and you were already ahead, there was no turning back. Although there was a certain possibility that Peeta would not be elected, you didn’t want to risk it, you needed to know that it would be fine.
“Haymitch Abernathy” You let out a sob when you heard the name, you knew what was coming, Haymitch watched you with sadness, how much pain. Peeta offered himself as a tribute automatically.
You and Peeta gave each other a handshake as a greeting for being the tributes for the quarter quell, you hated that the odds were not in your favor, again. You were going straight to death, you could never hurt Peeta. The next thing was you on the train, back to the capitol.