My Journey.

Hi, Since ikaw lang naman yung pinagbigyan ko ng link na ito dito for the purpose of saying whatever I want to say to you to avoid sparking an arguement .  This is going to be my last entry in this blog, Looking back its not all bad memories naman, SInce We started being a couple everything seems to be okay, masaya , kilig and always excited to what’s gonna happen next. You were very supportive back then while me on the other hand have really high hopes and dreams laging motivated to do more in life. Mayabang ako, Oo pero mataas ang pangarap, I have tried a lot of things just to be successful and to provide you the best options in life. Being successful is really hard sobrang hindi siya madali pero I never stopped trying hard. Always trying to defy what the normal norms dictate about having a 9-5 job . Fast forward, mas marami kapang moments na nag doubt ka sa capabilities ko bilang isang tao and its really draining especially for a person who is trying really hard to make it big in life. Hindi na healthy pero I stood up and endured everything on my own. I may have a lot of mistakes sobrang dami hindi ko naman pwede isisi sayo ang mga naggawa ko pero ganun yung naramdaman ko hindi ko makita sayo yung support kahit na naawardan ako sa mga career na tinatahak ko ibang tao bilib na bilig sa kakayahan at skills ko pero sayo lahat wala lang.

Dad died, everything was shattered I was forced to be the breadwinner of the family . Maraming beses na nakiusap ako sayo na palipasin muna ang grieving ko pero looking back madaming beses pading nauna ang attitude mo yung pang mamaliit mo, Even may nakarating sakin na inaasa ko sayo yung pang araw araw ng pamilya namin for which is not 100% true. You were every insistent to help pero ako ayaw kong tanggapin fully dahil alam kong kapag nagkaron na naman ng away isusumbat mo ang lahat ng yon. 

Napansin ko mas nagiging successful ako knowing na ako lang yung naniniwala sa Vision at dreams ko at hindi na ipipilit sayo ever. Nakita ko sa ibang tao totoo yung hinahanap hanap ko sayo na confidence at tiwala na kaya kong maging successful mga hindi ko pa kaano ano. Never kitang pinagtaasan ng boses, pinagbuhatan ng kamay at tiniis ko lang lahat ng doubts sobrang hirap nun knowing na supposed to be partner mo for life ay walang tiwala na may maggagawa kang mabuti at magiging successful ka. hindi ko na idedefend ang sarili ko pero sa realization ko kailangan mahalin ko naman ang sarili ko, at bigyan ng respeto ang sarili ko. Alam ko na alam mo na hindi talaga bebenta ang dahilan mong nagmamagandang loob sayo yung si Paolo at nagrereview ng phone mo kaya ka kinukuhanan ng picture . Masakit pala pag sayo na nangyari hindi ko kayang tanggapin pinipilit ko pero mahirap at hindi talaga doable sakin na okay kalang kapag meron akong sobra na maiproprovide pero kapag problema na o kaya kailangan ko ng kausap sa tuwing pinanghihinaan ako ng loob ay wala. Huwag na tayo maglokohan hindi na kita pipigilan hahayaan na kita kung diyan ka masaya. Siguraduhin nalang sana natin na magampanan natin ang obligasyon natin sa ating mga anak sila yung pinakamahihirapan dito sa magiging sitwasyon pero pipilitin kong maging madali para sakanila ang lahat. Pero baka mauna pakong mamatay kapag pinagpatuloy ko pa itong pag-asa at pagsuyo. Looking forward parang hindi ko na kaya magtiis na minamata, minamaliit at sinusumbatan from time to time. Now I’m setting you free and myself free from us. 

Kailangang mayroong matira sa sarili ko, hindi sa pagiging makasarili ngunit marami ang nakaasa sa akin at hindi ako pwede mag fail. Mahirap na ang everyday struggle pero wala na yung makakapitan kong inaasahan kong makakasama sa mga pangarap.

Tutal palagi mo namang sinasabi na hindi mo na ako nakikita sa picture ng future kahit na wala pa yung mga current na problema nating dalawa. Palagi kanarin lang nagsasabi ng tapos. 

Laking gulat ko nga, after ng Malaman ko yung sa inyo ni Paolo biglang naging desidido kana talagang wala na. Para akong nauntog at nagising sa katotohanan. Goodluck as inyo. Ipagdarasal ko na sana makayanan nating abutin ang pangarap ng bawat isa kahit na hindi na tayo kabilang sa mga yon at may kanya kanya na.

Only through men whom you can conceal and hide but in his eyes the good and the wicked are always seen.

"ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?"The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.

Here’s the answer: 

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. 

That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression.

 It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades.

 It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. 

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someoneelse.

 This is when relationships breakdown.The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. 

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. 

But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.Because (listen carefully to this)The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. 

Make no mistake about it.Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Trusting God also means trusting His process of breaking things that might destroy you later.⁣

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Don’t be upset when He starts to wreck your plans to show you that His plans and His ways are way better.⁣

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God will break your plans before your plans break you.⁣

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He loves you too much to let your plans ruin everything God’s been preparing for you. He does things like that so you don’t have to break yourself later, and you don’t have to break His heart as well.⁣

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6)‬‬⁣

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It’s not His punishment— it’s His redirection. As important as it is to trust His plans, it’s equally important to trust His breakings too. It’s for our good. ⁣

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Imagine.

Instead of starting over with another.

We should make our existing one ponder.

It may not be a perfect one.

There is no such marriage that is perfect not even one.

Its not about forgetting.

Its always about forgiving.

It is too much to ask for it now.

But I’m not rushing it for now.

We have a greater chance of making it alive on our 50th Wedding anniversary.

Our age are still young and we are already on our 7th wedding anniversary.

43 to go.

Not any of us should go.

As for our kids

Where not a day comes that you are not missed.

Let’s try to envision making it to their debut.

Of them seeing us making it through.

Let’s try to envision them getting married.

While making them see we are still married.

Let’s try to envision happiness.

With them giving an example of true happiness.

Let’s envision them building their own family.

While making them see we remain as a family.

Patience

Persistence

To make our marriage always up for its existence.

I love you

And I sure bet you love me too.