Oh Monty, you're so clever

it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems

like what do you MEAN the number 1 sexiest character trait of all time is just kind of offputting and bad for you in real life. next you'll tell me smoking has consequences other than looking like a mysterious badass

for some reason this lab rat seems to experience a spike in sexual arousal when rewards are withheld

🫩 no i don't think those characters are siblings i think they're friends. I don't think that's their mom I actually think she's their friend. I don't think they're related actually I think they're friends with each other.

topping in like a defensive wounded animal way

hey. i heard what the devil on your shoulder just told you to do to me. pervert.

why is the angel on your shoulder agreeing...

living a monk lifestyle but like if that monk had a 14 hour daily screentime

guy who fucks like it's just an obligation. like he doesn't enjoy it. like he'd rather be doing anything else. 

i think what's holding me back is that i;m trying to make my stuff good. i will henceforth be trying a new creative strategy: make everything COMPLETELY DOGSHIT

saying "i wish you were pregnant with me" during sex