Kochanski is two skutters tall
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JVL
Today's Document
DEAR READER

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz
sheepfilms

titsay

Love Begins
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
Cosimo Galluzzi

#extradirty
Jules of Nature
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
RMH
Show & Tell
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@openthefobwatch
Kochanski is two skutters tall

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Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?
Let me explain:
Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.
Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.
Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.
He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.
Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.
To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.
Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.
But. There is another option.
COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.
Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.
Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.
But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.
Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.
Possessiveness is awesome.specifically if the possessive person is kind of embarrassed and ashamed and turning inwards about it
Alpha boyfriend beats the shit out of some guy for touching his discord kitten or whatever <- unfathomably unsexy
Repressed freak has private breakdown about other people being affectionate with their favorite person on earth and has a guilt spiral about it afterwards <- awesome and sexy. To Me.
Repressed freak does all of that and then is forced for some reason to say, out loud, with their words that yeah basically I feel like you're Mine and it's very upsetting to me when other people touch you or make you smile or laugh sorry I try not to feel that way I know it's wrong of me sorry sorry sorry <- REALLY AWESOME AND SEXY. TO ME.
Everybody's dead, Rimmer's a hologram and me I feel also not so good
Very pleased to see we now have a “how dare you accuse me of masturbating” gif. It’s a line that was begging to be giffed. 😂

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I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it Kryten...
Ashes to Ashes S01E01
Love Red Dwarf series 1 promotional shots that put Kochanski front and centre as if she's the main character. Because she is.
You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.
they need to make a wuthering heights emoji for when u need to quickly express the emotion "heathcliff it's me i'm cathy i've come home i'm so cold let me in your window"

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Watched Samsara for the first time yoooo what a brilliant ep! Famous mineopoly scene lives up to the hype! Rimster dynamic is peak! "Permission to strangle you, sir?" "Granted." This episode fucks severely
its always "what are your plans for the future, you should really be planning for the future" and never "wow that character you're obsessed with sounds so cool can you explain them to me. im sure you get them more than anyone else"
not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex
Red Dwarf: The End
GWEN!!

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Joh Fredersen: I need a robot to do work
Rotwang: I made a robot that can dance. A robot that give speeches. A robot that can inspire lust. A robot that can feel feelings. A robot that can make moral choices. It chooses to be evil. I made a robot you can bang crazy style. I made a robot with breathtaking eyes
Joh Fredersen: But does it do work?
Rotwang: ✨No✨
honestly fandom has ruined me because now any time i'm in the desert and i see two vast and trunkless legs of stone or a half-sunk shattered visage i'm like "omg just like in Ozymandias" and its like come on girl not every half-sunk shattered visage is Ozymandias