Open Book

It’s rare I ever post my pole stuff here outside of the pro pics we got. But I’ve been training at home on some more advanced things & so proud of the shapes I was able to make.

7 months out of the gym & you’d think I never left. The hand stand? The figure D? Learning an Ayesha?? (Not in this video but others). I’m so proud of my self progress.

But this cover. This god damn cover was so fucking good I need a full version STAT

I’m shy… I’m so shyyyYyYy 🫣

Jk, I’m bi 😘

Booking my mom & I a matching tattoo appt for her birthday for when she comes down to visit

Weird sleep schedule is ruining my life but we somehow trucking along.

Stress is definitely bringing up some brain issues. Gotta call my neurologist to make sure I’m hopefully not knocking on deaths door again. Short term memory. Forgetting what’s happening in conversations *i* started for fucks sake. & a severe increase of migraines in the last week.

Psych appt in the morning so hopefully I can get some answers on that. I might take her up on some sort of med or something idfk at this point. I’ll take anything that will just regulate my brain or just turn it off for the smallest time.

Had weird dreams for the first time in a while. My dogs waxy ear?? My painting being spilled on with paints?? What is going onnn in my brain 😅

But between the family info I found out. My ex friend. My dad pulling his stunt. My dog rolling her ankle and us getting an $800 vet bill but it’s worth it because she’s finally back to her old self after not having a great time for a while.

It’s been a month and a half of me not being able to sleep until I hear the birds chirping. Doesn’t feel like there’s enough weed in the world.

Also my therapist & I are both shocked at the fact that even when I took my sleeping meds. Which could knock me the fuck out on my hardest days, I was still up until 5am on the dot. I took them at 230am. I should have been dead to the world by 315 at the latest 🫠 so maybe we take an extra one and hope for the best.