what'd you expect

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

i cannot kill myself because there is music

Its so beautiful that cats have their own special weed. Mother nature rewarding them for being the best animal

I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.

in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead

everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban

Glados learning sign language so Chell can hear at least one of her excellent monologues and Chell just closes her eyes

*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*

*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*

*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*

*becomes the evil wizard because the local strong knight is cute and I want to get beaten by them.*

*dumps my evil chemicals in the well behind some random dude’s house*

Flan 🍮

a really funny thing about working with seeds in a day to day capacity is that you really need the seeds to stay in one place at any given moment, and the seeds disagree. so it’s just like, seeds end up on the floor. seeds end up on the desk. seeds appear in the crack between the glass plate of the microscope stage and its surrounding metal casing. seeds are around the dumpster outside. sweeping up seeds, patching up bags of seeds, picking seeds off your clothes and from between keyboard keys, very carefully transferring seeds into containers less likely to cause catastrophe should the seeds breach containment, like it’s just an uphill battle built into the work. almost as if the seeds are hyperevolved to disperse themselves or something

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer