miscellaneous

the police department in our state capital was called because a skunk was wandering down main street with its head stuck in a yogurt cup

not wanting to risk getting sprayed, and unsure of how to remove a skunk from a yogurt cup anyway, the police googled “how to get a skunk’s head out of a yogurt cup”

this led them to an article, published by Arizona police in 2015, titled How to Take a Yogurt Cup Off a Skunk’s Head Without Getting Sprayed

using the method outlined in that article, vermont police safely caught the skunk, removed the yogurt cup, and sent the animal on its way

they did this without anybody getting sprayed in the process

“Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?)

“Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish

“Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely

“Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip

“Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum

“Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”)

“Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant

“Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones

☆Leo

☆Taurus

☆Aries

Remember Brock Turner? Here is another one!

One of the bullies, 19-year-old John R.K. Howard, pled guilty last week to a felony count of injury to a child. That’s a lesser charge than he originally faced, forcible sexual penetration by a foreign object, which could’ve landed Howard in prison for life. 

Now though, Howard will avoid any prison or jail time at all, and could even have his conviction dismissed if he completes his two- to three-year probation without committing any new crimes or violations.

At least, they didn’t call him “a kid”, just “a student”, but it would be better if they called him a beast or an animal because no human being is able to harm a disabled child!

“Hemmer said it was neither a sex crime nor a hate crime” - then what was it? White boys having a little fun?

That’s real disgrace… Be careful, hide your children….