Onus Anbu

“Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.”

indie. Kakashi Hatake rp blog - semi-selective - 21+ - - mostly canon compliant - dynamic timeline -

     He wasn’t sulking–Okay, maybe he was. A little. But he didn’t have to point it out. Rude. He crossed his arms and accompanied that with a scowl…well, his usual expression. Maybe he could make Kakashi feel his indignation.

     His student looked so much like a disgruntled cat. Maybe he felt a little bad. Maybe. But it was too easy to annoy Sasuke, and what kind of sensei would he be if he didn’t take advantage of that every so often?

“Knowing the details could mean the difference between life or death,” he states without missing a beat. Alright, that was a little morose given the situation, even for him. Still, it pays to have a keen sense of what’s going on. Regardless, he relents a little with a sigh. Kakashi can be trusted. …most of the time. 

He lays back down on the grass, nose up to the sky once more, hands folded over his chest politely. “I passed out?” Well, he really doesn’t remember. Was he that overworked that it’s come to passing out in the middle of the day. “Well, I feel about as good as anyone could who’s just come to, I suppose.” So…bad, is what he’s saying.  

     Always so serious. Though, Kakashi couldn’t really blame his kouhai, knew him better than most with how many years they worked together in Anbu. Most situations they were involved in were life or death. But even Yamato deserves to take it easy every once in a while, and if Kakashi was particularly annoying during these times— well. It was because he cared.

“Can I do anything for you?” 

THERE’S  A  SOFT  HUMM  OF  CONSIDERATION.           when  you  love  something  you  protect  it,  gai  said  that  once,  that  he’d  protect  lee  from  the  orphanage.     what  kakashi  said  made  sense.         being  there  for  each  other;  the  young  child  pondered  for  how  long  gai      &&      kakashi  had  been  together,  what  they  went  through  war  together.    the  orphanage  taught  him  about  the  third  great  shinobi  war,  the  glory  of  going  to  war      &&      dying  for  your  village.    but  these  two  jonin  actually  fought  during  the  many  battles,  they  were  lee’s  age  when  it  happened.       lee  is  smart  enough  not  to  ask  them  about  it,  though,  either  it  would  upset  them  and  make  them  send  lee  back  or  the  child  would  be  confronted  with  stories  he  wasn’t  ready  for  yet.

a  frustrated  groan  left  lee,  only  slightly  muffled  by  his  face  pressed  against  bull’s  great  body.           ❝    WHY    WOULD    HE    NEED    ME    TO    BE    THERE    FOR    HIM??    ❞          after  all,  gai  was  so  strong.      he  was  talented,  confident;  everything  lee  aspired  to  be.     there  was  no  way  lee  could  do  anything  for  his  father,  nothing  kakashi  wouldn’t  give  him  tenfold.     lee’s  voice  begins  to  thicken  with  tears  again.          ❝    SOMEONE    AS    WEAK    AS    ME    COULD    NEVER    PROTECT    SOMEONE    AS    STRONG    AS    PAPA.    ❞

“Strength isn’t always a measure of the laps you can run or the jutsu you can create. Sometimes it’s what’s inside that counts.”

❝    YOU’LL    BE    FINE.    ❞     gai  keeps  repeating.     but  he’s  not  so  sure.    vaguely  is  the  child  aware  that  they’re  in  the  middle  of  war,  a  calamity  which  had  been  raging across  the  lands  since  before  their  birth.   gai  knows  kakashi’s  father,  the  entire  hatake  clan,  used  to  be  is  famous.   they  were  deemed  prodigies      &&      genuises.    if  one  of  this  esteemed  clan  could  die,  so  would  his  father.    gai  is  terrified  of  that.     but  through  will      &&      want  alone  he  stops  his  knees  from  shaking  as  he  walks.     away  from  the  busy  streets,  out  of  konoha.        the  forest  welcomes  them      &&      the  animals  do  not  judge.    quick  glances  are  given  before  they  continue  on  their  way.

gai  sets  his  rival  under  the  biggest  tree  he  could  find.    as  if  the  large  branches      &&      great  roots  would  shield  them.   he’s  still  holding  kakashi.    the  maito  is  prepared  to  hold  him  the  entire  day,  until  the  moon  stood  high,  if  necessary.   if  they’d  get  hungry  gai  would  catch  them  some  fish  or  pick  non  poisonous  mushrooms  just  like  the  academy  taught  them,  anything  but  going  back  to  konoha.   he  keeps  sneaking  glances  at  kakashi,  the  air  is  thick      &&     heavy  with  unspoken  words.  he  feels  like  he  ought  to  say  something.         BUT  WHAT??       apologizing  for  kakashi’s  loss  wouldn’t  bring  sakumo  back,  saying  he  didn’t  think  the  white  fang  was  scum  didn’t  help  either.      (      after    all    the    maitos    were    never    anything    but    laughing    stock      )       perhaps  gai  ought  not  to  say  anything  after  all.      ❝    DO    YOU    WANT    TO    TALK    ABOUT    IT??    ❞

     It takes Kakashi time to come back to himself, to be fully aware that they’re moving outside of the village. He takes a moment to breathe, take in the fresh forest air, lets it start to clear his mind even minimally. 

     He’s tired, that’s the first thing that really comes back to him, a heaviness to his bones that he had been carrying around with him the last few days. It only really set in now that he was sitting still, and he felt it through his bones. His outburst and general lack of rest left him with no energy. He use felt raw, used, empty. 

     He hears Gai’s words, finally really acknowledging his presence there with him. He can’t bring himself to raise his gaze up to Gai’s, whether through shame or some other complicated emotion he couldn’t hope to express right now. 

     Does he want to talk about it? “I don’t know.” He winces at the sound of his own voice, sounding as broken and worn out as he currently felt. “I don’t know.” He didn’t know what he wanted to say, didn’t know exactly what he was feeling at the moment, or how to describe it. It was a confusing swirl of sorrow, anger… he was upset. He was sad. He was resentful. He didn’t know of who: his father, himself, or the village that abandoned them both. 

     Why?

   Typical. Leave it to the youth of today to SPOIL an otherwise pleasant evening; & just as the barfly was beginning to catch a BUZZ too. At this rate - with his gift of accelerated healing - the Jashinist would drink his liver into a state of fatal SEPSIS and recover a million times over by the time they cut the cord on that wretched machine. Newfound details given by the eyepatched man a few seats east invokes a slow, deliberate roll of Hidan’s eyes. Though the other’s suggestion is considered rather amusing there is nothing lighthearted about the sneer that crooks his lips. 

   ❝ If I went up there - it’d be a two hour comedy special on how much I HATE children. ❞ At that, his gaze returns to his beverage so he may take another considerable gulp; the downing of which a decent enough vehicle for the DROWNING OUT of a poorly sung tune. Then, as if on cue, the boozed up vocalist hits ( or misses ) a high pitch octave with all the air in their ribcage, carrying with it the SCREECH of microphone interference. The Priest’s glass, once bottoms up, nearly shatters; be it due to the sound frequency or his involuntary SLAM of it back on the counter from startlement it was difficult to say. Fingering at a pulsing eardrum he growls

               ❝ ── Seriously?! Fuck. Hey, whaddya think?              Will getting drunk make this shit better or worse? ❞ 

This time his words do have an intended target : none other than the only other silver-haired male in the joint.

     At least there was some enjoyable company at the bar tonight; Kakashi unable hold back his deep chuckle at the other’s response. He waves over the bartender, requests another round of drinks for himself and the other man. It seemed like his new friend might need it.

“Nothing could be worse than what they’re subjecting us to currently. A nice change of pace, set the mood. I love a good comedy.”

     Kakashi wishes he had the foresight to have stalked the outside of the bar this evening instead of coming in. The first few songs the vocalist sang encouraged more pity out of him than irritation, but by the fifth song a dull throb began behind his eyes. He’d much prefer the sound of howling dogs, or even plain screaming at this point, over whatever was happening on stage. 

     He’s envious of the barkeep when he comes back with the drinks, noticing small earplugs. Kakashi supposes that’s a requirement for the poor staff that have to run the place. He winces when the lead vocalist hits a note that shouldn’t be produced by man, wishing that slinking further into his seat somehow made the noise lessen.

Sometimes, Rin laughs too loud and smiles too wide. She is still learning how to compact and fold herself inwards, to be unseen and unheard like other kunoichi. Which is why when Kakashi takes her hand, she gasps out loud and immediately regrets it. For a few awkward seconds, she looks at his hand, eyes blown impossibly wide while her heart grows a size too big. Until now, she has always been the one reaching, pulling and for the first time, he has met her in the middle.

“Um…” Her face scrunches under his words, nose crinkling in thought while her mind putters into action. “We’re going to the same place, yes?” It’s always easier when she can forget about the mold she’s supposed to fit into and be herself. Her teasing, giggling self with dirt in her fingernails and leaves stuck to her hair. Her personality is too large for constraints, anyway. 

“Same place… at the same time… for the same purpose…” She tests the grip of his hand in hers and finds it is satisfactory. “Sure Kakashi, let’s separate and reconvene at twelve hundred and five hours.” With a cheerful hum, she turns and breaks into a light jog, dragging him along behind her. In between ducking and weaving through civilians and the hustle and bustle of market stalls setting up for the day, Rin looks back at her companion, cheeks rounded from smiling far too wide.

     Why were girls so weird? 

     Though as far as girls typically went, Rin was… well. She was his teammate. And he’s gotten used to her quirks and what made her uniquely… Rin. None of it actually bothered him. Though Kakashi still does scrunch his brow lightly in confusion when she stares at him for those awkward few seconds.

     Confirming he didn’t hurt her when he reached for her hand, not seeing the same parallel that she pulled for herself with the action— he gives her fingers a pointed squeeze. 

     He huffs, fighting back another eye roll and creep of his shoulders. She was getting more bold with her teasing, less shy than she used to be in the academy. “I just didn’t know why we had to hold hands to go there. Pointing exists; it’s not like I’m going anywhere else.”

                  “ HA— Impress you? HA HA HA HA. I’m showing you how a man ‘s supposed to drink! shutup.”  Zabuza forced a laugh that went together with his heavy fist slapping the counter-table they were. Konoha’s alcohol wasn’t the best but was enough to start to have an effect on his senses. His indicador finger poking Kakashi’s hitai-ate as he shook his beer cup, spilling a little to the side while speaking. “ Shouldn’t had saved my life then, take responsibility.”

                  As the waiter went to refill his cup, Zabuza just took the whole bottle; cracking open the bottle cap with his pointy teeth. “Tsc… . If I was actually formidable I would had killed you….” Accepting compliments wasn’t his strong point, leaving the man actually more annoyed than glad. “You were… stupid.  Copying my—30 seconds long jutsu. Just to show off?J—just cut my throat instead?? Baka baka…”

“I can take responsibility for my actions, but I’m not footing the bill, I’m afraid.” He replied good-naturedly, a point of composure to his space contrasting Zabuza’s energy. 

     He wondered how much of this Zabuza would remember in the morning if he kept going at this pace. Kakashi didn’t doubt the other man’s tolerance, but, well... even the most skilled shinobi have their limits. Kakashi was teetering on the line himself, if he wanted to let go for an evening or try to stay a little sober and make sure someone remembered what happened the next day.

     He pours himself another drink, for now.

There are times where Kurenai still questions whether she made the right decision or not.

She loves her daughter, she loves Mirai so much that sometimes it’s painful, this little piece of her heart that exists outside of herself, something she can never pull back and draw in close to protect like all the other little pieces she’s tried to hide away over the years. But- she never signed up to take on such a burden alone, had bided her time and moved forward secure in the knowledge that there would be support, a partner to cover her back, the blind spots she was unaware of that left her vulnerable. 

It was a terrible thing, to know that even in such a short amount of time there were milestones missed, celebrated alone. 

“Well, I’m free now, old man. Unless I’ll be held accountable for any of your neglected duties.”

The support from others (from her aforementioned meddling students) offers some solace though, the warmth from Kakashi something she finds easy to match, to return, in their idle conversation. Something she had once thought she would never see again in her old friend, when he became lost in the same sort of aimless hurt Kurenai now found herself faced with. 

Maybe it really isn’t so seemingly impossible to keep going, to regain strength, if Kakashi can still find a way to smile. And maybe if she can just keep trying it will eventually feel like something genuine instead of carefully fabricated niceties played out to avoid examining the things she’s lost control over, the things she can’t possibly hope to change.

“Only if you’re fine with my bad influence. They might accuse me of corrupting your work ethic, be careful.”

     In all honesty, there wasn’t anywhere Kakashi had to be at this very moment. Certainly there were other things he could be doing, but there was time later to handle it. Duties would only pile on as the days till his official ceremony drew closer. Despite how exasperated it made those around him when he put off his work, he never ignored them completely. Everything got done, just not always as quickly as the front desk wanted. Oh well. He’s been doing this long enough they should know better than to expect it any different. 

“Tea? I know a spot off the beaten path where none of our students should find us.”

          SAKURA FELT A BRIGHT SMILE SPLITTING her face at her sensei’s approval. Although she knew he had to accept her –she would have raised hell if he hadn’t– the fear of rejection had still lingered in her heart, for she wanted him to actually want to train her, she deserved that! 

          AN EXCITED INTAKE OF AIR ACCOMPAINED Kakashi’s flourished summoning of the scroll, the sight of his sharingan only made her heart beat faster, “whatever he’s planning it must be big for him to reveal his sharingan” she thought while assuming a defensive stance. Would he simply start attacking her out of nowhere? Perhaps with a giant shuriken or another weapon? Sakura had trained under Tsunade’s mercilessness for long enough to be always prepared for a sneak attack –her master had an inclination for randomly attacking her during training in order to keep Sakura on her toes.

          HOWEVER, WHEN THE STACK OF BOOKS came into view Sakura felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown at her. Confusion took the place of determination in her eyes, and her stance relaxed as she approached her sensei, eyeing the books curiously.

           ❝I HAVE READ ABOUT SEALING JUTSUS, they require a good chakra control and precision. Lord Fourth was a master, wasn’t he?❞ Sakura turned her eyes towards her sensei’s, looking for a sign of… well, anything, at the mention of his former sensei.  ❝I’ll read these until tomorrow, but I do like the idea of sealing ninjutsu, when it coes to chakra control its mechanics aren’t so far from the techniques I already know. But I also would like to learn some Earth ninjutsu, for offense, ‘ya know?❞ A sheepish smile bloomed on her lips as she took the books from his hands, biceps tensing at the heavy weight. ❝My fighting style is based on short distance combat, but I feel like I should have at least a couple of long distance techniques up my sleeve.❞

     Kakashi almost felt bad when he saw the crestfallen look on his student’s face, almost. It was a bit mean to tease her like that, but he would be taking the rest of it seriously. 

“Yes. They combine an intricate weave of precision and intent.” Kakashi was by no means a master of the trade, but knew enough of the fundamentals to start off Sakura. He had no doubt that she would take to it easily. Perhaps in a few years the village might have more skilled sealing shinobi again, the number had been unfortunately declining far too steadily in recent years. 

     At the mention of his own former sensei, Kakashi does pause for a moment, a far-off look in his eye, “He was indeed.” He quickly focuses back on Sakura and the current moment. “I was lucky to learn from some of the most skilled in our village. I’ll do my best to impart that wisdom onto you.”

     He nods, at her mention of Earth ninjutsu, “We can do that. I would be happy to help you diversify your ninjutsu. There’s a few techniques I have in mind that should fill out your skillset rather nicely.”