Juli | Noah Czerny coded

He thinks this must be a joke so he goes to the comments, and sure enough it's absolutely full of people who not only seem to think this spoon is worthy of rating in the first place, but who seem to have very strong opinions on what makes it a good or bad spoon. To Ilya a spoon is a spoon is a spoon. It's absolutely baffling to him that people seem to think the handle looks like it's not weighty enough, or that the shape of the bowl is wrong, or that it's too flat or too square. He opens the playlist of cutlery rating videos because surely this can't be the norm, and sure enough every single one has a comment section full of very strong opinions about how good or bad this normal fucking fork or knife is.

And then a memory returns to him, as he looks over at his peacefully sleeping husband, of Shane moving in and having to get rid of all his cutlery to replace it with his.

"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but yours are really bad to hold, baby. It's literally all I can think about every time I eat here."

And Ilya didn't mind at the time. So Shane likes his own cutlery better? That's a small compromise when Ilya doesn't have strong feelings about silverware in the first place. But now things are beginning to click, and he's beginning to draw a line between the opinionated spoon people and the day he had to drive his cutlery to the nearest goodwill.

-Imagine you’re a little kid who’s already weird and people think you’re weird because of your race but also you’re autistic. You don’t make friends well. Your parents love you but you’re generally lonely.

-you grow up a bit, get in to hockey, get really in to hockey. You’re like really good at it and finally people start talking to you and respecting you

-Grow up some more and you get so good at hockey you get drafted. You’re not first though and that hurts because you’re entire identity is built on being the best at hockey because if you’re the best at hockey people talk less about all the other things wrong with you.

-you eat insanely healthy because again, if you’re the best at hockey then nobody talks about what’s wrong with you and still though people already talk about you being unsociable and other things

-you’re somehow fucking a hot Russian guy

-your team doesn’t like you. You’re the captain and your team doesn’t like you. I feel like yall forget this part. You WIN YOUR TEAM 2 CUPS AND YOUR TEAM AND COACH FOR SOME FUCKING REASON DONT FUCKING LIKE YOU

-the hot Russian guy your fucking has a lot of friends. He’s the captain too but he’s everything you’re not. He’s sociable and everyone loves him.

-You’re never not busy. You always are under pressure. From the commissioner, from your coach, from your brands, etc. You don’t even feel like you can talk to your mom about it. Now on top of all the other things wrong with you you’re also gay. This is a death in sports. Nobody in your sport is out.

-You’re falling in love with the Russian guy you’re fucking. You think he’s falling in love with you too but you’ve never been good with emotions. You try really hard to not be gay but it’s not working.

-okay everything is fine your parents know you’re gay you had a panic attack but that’s fine and there’s a plan. Now you have a boyfriend but the pressure is still there. It never leaves. Your teammates still hate you. Your coach doesn’t like you.

-You deal with it because this is what you do. You’re good at hockey. Hockey means you don’t have to fake things. It doesn’t matter that you’re not sociable or that you’re different because you’re good at hockey. At least that’s what you tell yourself. Because all these people look at you like a God or they want you gone. The pressure is still there.

-Your boyfriend is going to therapy. Something is going on but you can’t tell what and it hurts you and makes you nervous. You don’t read subtext well. He says he’s fine and you think he’s telling the truth.

-he’s not fine. You say you would pick him and you mean it but it hurts. What do you do when questioned if you’d give up wheat you built your safety on? You would give it up for him but you don’t understand and it hurts a lot.

-you ask him if he would do the same. He’s a free agent at this point and you’re not. He hated Russia and talked about it regularly, or maybe he hated what Russia stood for. You didn’t think it was a big deal giving up Russia because he didn’t want to go back anyways. He could still be playing for the Boston Raiders you do understand he went to a losing team and you’re sorry about that but realistically even if you weren’t together he probably still wouldn’t go back to Russia. He would be in a winning team though and you get that, but Ilya doesn’t really give a shot about hockey the way you do. You don’t understand what he’s saying.

-your boyfriend walks out and you don’t know what to do and you could call your mom but she’s just like you and plus she loves Ilya and you could call Hayden but Hayden doesn’t like Ilya. If you came out it would topple everything you’ve spent your life curating which would mean everything you’ve ever suffered through would be pointless. You took your team to get multiple cups and they don’t like you anyways. The public thinks you’re weird even if they say they like you. Even your parents are worried about you.

But patriarchy is not a misunderstanding it's a power structure. And all power structures are held up by those with the power benefiting, not those with power not "knowing better". Ending Patriarchy essentially means you are asking billions of people to give up their power, and the obvious response from people with power is "make me"

I don't expect Bezos to redistribute his wealth because I explained labour rights, so patriarchy isn't any different. You'll never give oppressors moral awakenings. The entire point of power structures is people benefiting from harm while being emotionally insulated from it.

And you can a wife was raised this way and doesn't think to challenge it because it's all she knows. She's watched her mother and countless other women "manage" their husbands and take care of the home and she does the same. Things flow smoothly. She prepares her daughters to manage their future husbands. Her really smart daughter she arranges to marry a man who has a profession where the daughter can assist. The daughter's accomplishments will be absorbed by the husband, but that's how a marriage partnership works, right? He appreciates it, so it's all good.