r.w.

“ yep . . . ‘guess that’s what i get for procrastinating on studying for my potions test. maybe not doing that anymore was an unrealistic new years resolution. ”

“ ah, don’ feel bad, new year’s resolutions are loads of bollocks anyway. still, you should probably speed up the process, seein’ as the professor will have y’r NECK if you’re late. trust me, do not test it ; i wasn’t even late for more than a minute and got a detention        nearly missed quidditch practice too. y’r a hufflepuff right ? we’ve got double potions. ” she says this all rather quickly, considering she rarely has spoken to the male before, chewing a dry piece of toast. “ don’ know why, but the hufflepuff table’s always got better pumpkin juice. pass me some please ? ”

“ wait — you weren’t sitting here, were you ? because i can move. ”

“ actually, i was. ‘s alright though, we’ve got classes in ten anyways. wait, did you just get down for breakfast ? have a long night or somethin’ ? ”

”yeah, i had a fucking amazing time in the second stall on the 5th floor with grand old moaning bloody myrtle.” his words oozed sarcasm and annoyance at the memory of it. “oh, trust me, she, and others, definitely come see how everything’s hanging during my bubble baths – never thought the day would come when i get nervous stripping my clothes off.” shaking his head, alfie ran his fingers through his hair. “i’d love to be their friend! just not during my personal me time!” 

“ myrtle’s just tryin’ t’ have a grand old time with the rest of us. ” rose said, a halfhearted attempt to defend the ghost. “ in any event, she’s nowhere near as bad as peeves. i mean, merlin, he’s fucking everywhere i go ! and those annoying songs about my hair got old about five years ago. ” she patted his shoulder and nodded understandingly. “ y’ve just got to be strong, mate. we really need to set these ghosts up on dates or something t’ keep them out of our hair for a bit. ”

chuckling lightly at the thought, alfie decided it had to be said aloud. “i love this place, i really fucking do,” he started softly. “but i don’t understand why some ghosts can’t respect my basic need to take a shit in p e a c e. i just don’t get it.” the boy shook his head in disbelief. “i mean, was it custom to be interrupted mid deuce back when, or what? can anyone explain their bloody obsession?”  

she laughed           really laughed, the kind that rumbled through her and made her feel light for a second. attempting to contain it, her face contorts to that of semi-seriousness and she nods slightly. “ had a nice run in with myrtle, didn’t y’ alfie? it’s worse when you’re trying to take a bath in peace and someone’s peekin’ through the bubbles. maybe they’re jus’ wanting friends. i mean, ‘s kind of SAD that they’re jus’ hanging round loos all day. ”

“ they’re goals – there is nothing wrong with having goals and ambitions, don’t ya know. you could do to be a bit more positive.”

“ come on, don’t kid yourself. there are goals and ambitions and then there’s cheap ways to make everyone think you’re doing something with your life. you don’t have to wait for a new year to reinvent yourself and if you were really serious about it, you would’ve done it. ”