Blog of Freedom

No one can take the happiness you experienced from the special people that are always the reason behind your smile and laugh.

In life there are things that you can’t expect to come. Sometimes life isn’t always in fairytale with happy ending but sometimes it ends with sorrow and pain. It happened when I was 16 years old when I had my first love.At that timed I was too young,and to naive. I thought I knew everything about love .We shared a lot of memories together. When I played basketball, she always there cheering for me.We always hang out together like watching movies,hanging out with our friends.I always often visit her family .We were so attached to each other,and I thought no one can break us apart. Our relationship last for 2 years with so many obstacles we went through,we faced ups and down also, but our love stays strong.At that timed I thought my life is in a fairytale story that will end in a happy ending.But the overwhelming happiness that I felt will never last. One day she stopped texting on me,even calls she didn’t answered.She kept avoiding on me, every time I went to her house she isn’t there either. And I asked myself what did I do wrong,what happened to her?. I really don’t know the answered. One day one of my friend came to visit at me,and then told me about everything why my girlfriend doesn’t contact at me anymore.He told me that my girlfriend had a new boyfriend .I was so shocked that timed I felt my body was trembling,I felt so much pain in my heart,I felt my world stopped spinning around.And then I cried so much that timed and asked myself why? For 2 years we’ve been through for her it was nothing. That timed I never confronted her,we don’t have an official break up.So I tried to move on it was so difficult to me to do that .It took me 3 years to move on but thanks to my friends, my family and with God I survived.I learned that in love never expect to much because if you expect that much you will end up in disappointment.Moving on is the hardest part to do but when faced it strongly you can move on.And don’t forget that time can also heal the wounds in our heart although it takes a long time to recover,but in a matter of time you can forget the pain that you experience.I cope with that in love we must learned to accept and forgive and learned that in this world the word “change” is constant.Learned to appreciate the value of life because life is to short,we must enjoy every second of it and to lived to the fullest.

It has been 3 years since I first experience a heartache, that time I really thought that she is the one that she'll never leave my side but one day I saw her walking with a guy not just some typical guy but with my very close friend the person that I treated as my own brother they're so sweet walking while holding each others hands, that time I was so mad that I confronted them, they were too shocked when they saw me to my anger I punched my friend then I asked my girlfriend why did she do it, but instead of saying sorry she just told that I'm crazy stupid and she don't love me at all, she never loved me and that she is just playing with me and she's not serious about our relationship. That time terror and shock was all over my spine, the pain that I'm feeling is killing me that day I promised to myself that I will not be that dumb and stupid guy again I won't fall for the wrong girl again. It took 8 months for me to totally move on and forget about what happened in the past, instead of sitting in the corner I realized I should move on and get over it

No lies, no promises and no more goodbyes,  our hearts were mend by each other after a kiss and we both said, I will love you forever and ever babe !!

I realize that I have to move on and I don’t need to be hurt. The love of my family is more important than his love to me. I’m moving on with the past. After a few weeks, I found someone who is more deserving of my love. He and my family inspire me to smile and stay happy in this world.

When I was in first year high school I met a good looking guy-handsome, cute and talented. From the first time I saw him, I fell in love with him. My mind says that I will be with him forever. He was the campus heartthrob so when he courted me, I felt so lucky. After a month of being close to each other and getting to know each other I already call him my friend. One day when we’re sitting inside the room he told me that he like me; he wanted to be with me. On that day, after he said that, I feel like a bird flying and singing in the sky. Without hesitation I said yes to him. After that day we treat each other as lover. He was so sweet to me. During break time and lunchtime we’re always together. The day came, the day I don’t want to come. I can’t believe what my naked eyes saw. I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do after seeing that unexpected action of him. I don’t know if I could trust him anymore. When I saw them, I approached the girl and my boyfriend. O told them that they may live a nice and happy life and as for my boyfriend I broke up with him.

Where we typically tend to replay patterns In Our lives that were formed in our childhood experiences.  

My first heartache is when I met a girl whom I believed that she’s the love of my life, she meant everything to me and I would walk to the ends of the earth and back if she wanted me too.. One day she told me that shes breaking up with me. I walked away crying while remembering what she told me, “ I will never leave you or do things that can hurt you.” She tried to chase me but I ran away and not even talking to her. Her mother tried to call me asking what happened, I just cry and said that her daughter knows everything. I still respect her family; I still love them like the way I used too love her . After a months crying for her everything has changed the day I couldn’t reach her I keep on calling her and sending messages hoping that she will respond. She was a very different girl from whom I was used to. I went to her house the next day. There were no people there and the room was very messy. I called her but I heard her phone ringing next to the TV. I was very sad because that is the only way on how I am going to contact her. I went home feeling hopeless. Her neighbors told me that she already have a new one ,it hurts.. but I will accept it. I Learned that “PROMISES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN”. I Don’t believe in that saying anymore . I’ve moved on already, I changed for the better and  I accept the reality that she’s not the perfect girl for me. For now I’m happy together with my Family and friends, I smile and feeling contented with them. I forget the past that made me cry and I will focus on the people that made me smile. I know someday I will found the right one for me .

At last, I found her and now we’re happy of our relationship. The girl in my dream comes into real. Her name is Mariecris Durano. I love her so much, She’s the woman I wanted to be my wife. A woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

And most especially the acceptance 

 But I know I’m stronger than that and I should move on.

And I learned some lessons on that situation, it is never let hatred reigns in your heart instead let LOVE and FORGIVENESS dwells in it.

This "life" is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But just remember, some come, some go. Everything  happens for a "reason". When I was 13 years old my parents separated because my father had a mistress, not just one but many mistress, I was too young to understand and was too vulnerable, that time it was so hard for me to adopt in that situation. It's like I'm loosing hope, I feel so weak and helpless. I loose track and followed the wrong path , I've been a rebel, we've been too distracted and I've been cutting classes always and hang out with the wrong people and did what I think is right. I was too hurt that time and it was really hard for my family because having a broken family is a big shame, but i guess my father didn't realized it because he kept on he doing what he think is right and act as if he doesn't have a family at all he kept on hurting us specially my mom, as time passes by I realized that she's the one who's suffering the most, the one who's hurting a lot from what had happened then I thought is being a rebel, choosing the wrong path and hanging out with wrong people is the right thing to do? That question keeps on bugging my mind. My mothers unconditional love without any hesitant made me realized that I'm lucky even without my father. My mother is the foundation of our family. Love is a continuous act of  "forgiveness", and time will heal all the wounds, I know someday I'll forgive him,maybe not now but soon. We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

Fell in love? They said love is the strongest feeling of affection. You don't have reason why you love that someone. It feels like you're in heaven when you're together. You're happiness cannot be measured.But, what if you're beloved someone has to go to a far, away in which you cannot see him in person, you cannot talk him face to face and communication is yet worthful.How does it feel? It's the first heartache that I feel when he left me .He has to went back to their place somewhere in Mindanao and to be back here in Cebu is unclear . He only promised that he will return at a time.But then, his promises are meant to be broken. He didn't came that time he promised that he'll be back.Its hard to move on with that situation because its the first time that I'm seriously in love. It hurts a lot . It's hard to moved on but it's the reality that we were not meant to be. So what I did is I only focus on my studies,enjoy my life together with my friends and always remembered that I only lost one person but still I have my family.Its been couple of months that I have moved on. Yes, memories are still there but then I can managed and control my feelings not to be sad of what had happened.

All teenager's can experience "HEARTACHE" in a different way's mine is a little bit exciting and so childish. And it all started with a " text message" my phone ring, one message came and I opened it. It says "Hi" can you be my text mate? Then I wonder if who this person was,so I sent a reply saying. Who you? as we all know "SMILE" Then after a second . I receive a responce message. "This is Reymond just want to be your friend" and to make the story short we decide to meet at "Rizal Park Danao,City " And my heart beats faster and faster. Because I am nervous then finally he came "Oh! My Gosh" He is so cute and charming. I don't know what to do. He introduced his self to me and do a hand shake. My nerves was shaking inside I am so speechless. After that, everyday we exchange messages then he asked for a date thru text message. And we meet again. Then this is the day I've been waiting for. Finally he courted me. "O.M.G" deep inside my heart is jumping "SMILE" Then i said "Yes" only one click. He said, he like me and happy when were together as they say. "SMILE" You cannot blame me if I say's yes because he is so cute you know "Teenagers :)" agreed? I am so very happy he had our 1st,2nd and 3rd months until problem came as natural for a relationship "Jealousy" Is the problem my boyfriend is a "Marine" student in Cebu Technological University Carmen Campus. Girls "Flirting" with him but my boyfriend prove me that Im the one he love. He is so caring and Loving giving me Chocolates and Flowers. He is so "Romantic" Then finally he do a formal visit. He went into my house and meet my family personally. I felt like Im so special. And then 4th,5th and 6th months came. I felt that there is something wrong in our relationship. He started to hide he's phone and change the password in his "Facebook Account" I am hurting deep inside co'z I know that he's hiding something from me. Then few weeks past. I heard that he's dating someone. Also a student in there school. And I feel really weak, I confront him and he denies everything. His face looks really mad when i asked "Questions" But then when you're in love you believe everything what they says, our relationship continues without trust to one another. And I am not happy anymore co'z I know that he cheated on me. 7th'8th'9th and 10th months we  doesn't have clear communication anymore. He always had excuses like comes that I need to know  the truth. You cannot hide secret's forever. I went to Carmen with friends watch for a show but then accidentally I saw my boyfriend with someone, they looked so sweet  and happy. My heart is "Aching" I felt like I was carrying the whole world in my shoulder. I feel miserable I don't know how to stand anymore. I drunk too much I don't know if how I got home when I woke up the pain is still there and I try to hide it with my family. A days past I got sick  because I always skip lunch and dinner. I only eat a little in my mind I said I want to die.and I try to kill myself. I don't know if I can still recover from the deep pain. I cried everyday until 2 months later I feel fine again but not fully recovered. But then I ask to my self why should I do crazy thing when we broke-up? Maybe because I gave everything. I didn't left any respect for myself. And now I learned that you shouldn't love too much but yourself.I cope it co'z i realize that I still had a family who love me for what I am.Then I started to love myself before anything.

" Sometimes the person who you trust most with you’re heart is the one who ends up breaking it". These quotes reminds me on my "first heartache". It happened 4 years ago during my past 6 months relationship, with my first girlfriend. During that timed I felt so happy,excited ,and so blessed with her . We shared a lot of wonderful memories, together.We always went to church during my day off .We often talked about our problems together, we shared so many, laughters and joys together.And I thought I had a perfect relationship with her,and I give her so much trust, but I was wrong. It was a Sunday evening, I decided to went out to attend a 7 pm mass all by myself.Because at that timed she already text me that she can’t come with me, because she had a work to do .So I decided to went all by myself , when I was walking near the church . I saw a couple, sitting on a bench,they are so sweet, kissing each other.And with a few steps near to the couple, I stopped and I was shocked, from what I saw. I saw my girlfriend kissing with the other guy.During that timed I felt so much pain,I felt my body is trembling with sadness, and anger .My heart breaks into pieces.My world stop spinning around that timed, I really don’t know what to do. So I decided not to attend the mass and went home early.That night I never answered her calls, even her text . By the following day I went to her and confronted her .And told her what I saw last time, she was only crying that night and said sorry to me.When I saw her crying I want to hug her and forgive her for what she did.So I decided to asked her to chose which one of us .But she chose the other guy than me.It’s because she was pregnant for one month.And again I was shocked I can’t believed that she was lying all the timed. So I decided to stand up and walked near to the door and never turned around for her. So when I close the door,suddenly my tears falls down.And I didn’t know that I was crying.After that incident I never spoke to her anymore, one year later I heared that she was getting married. On that day I learned that when it comes to love you should never give all your 100% love easily.It’s better that you should left something for yourself.In this world there’s only one thing that is constant and that word is "change" .And it’s not necessary that when you change you close all the opportunities close all the doors that might came to you.But it’s a change to make you a better person.I cope with that in order for us to moved on, you must love yourself first ,and try to be positive and forgive those people who hurt you and pray for them for their own good and for yourself also that’s what I did. And how do I start again by making myself busy,meeting new friends and having fun with my family,and tried something new for myself. And forget the past ,enjoy my present.And look forward for my future.

Then I realize that there are many girl’s out there and I know God will find a girl that deserves me.