Power, Responsibility, and Weird Stuff

I need a fic

Amazing Spider-man №524

Peter, pointing to a flock of seagulls: LoOk aT aLL tHoSe cHiCkEnS

Tony: Peter. Those are seagulls.

Tony: *making a peppermint circle around himself* NO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

Peter: I WONT DO IT AGAIN I PROMISE-

Tony: NO, NO HUGS FOR YOU

Rhodey: *turns to the invisible camera*

Peter: oh sorry, I can’t eat peppermint I’m allergic.

PTA mom: sweetheart, allergies aren’t real. You just need to eat more peppermint and get over it.

Peter: If you believe that then you shouldn’t be a parent.

PTA mom: how dare you? You insolent kid! I am a adult you are a teenager! You have no right to tell me how to parent!

Peter: *in a leg cast* I jumped out of a window during school and landed on the sidewalk.

Tony: why- why would you do that?

Peter: well I couldn’t climb down! That would have given away my secret identity as Spider-Man!

Tony: no. I mean why did you jump out of a window that was three stories high?!?!?

Peter: my guidance councilor was asking about my plans for the future.

Wade, limbless in a princess dress and covered in glitter: probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a history of violence.

Peter: oh.