âPicking the best solution really depended on your definition of best.â â Victoria Schwab, Vicious
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@onemorechaptertosleep
âPicking the best solution really depended on your definition of best.â â Victoria Schwab, Vicious

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âThe moments that define lives aren't always obvious. They don't scream LEDGE, and nine times out of ten there's no rope to duck under, no line to cross, no blood pact, no official letter on fancy paper. They aren't always protracted, heavy with meaning. Between one sip and the next, Victor made the biggest mistake of his life, and it was made of nothing more than one line. Three small words. "I'll go first.â â Victoria Schwab, Vicious
âThe thing he hadnât realized about success was that success made people boring. Failure also made people boring, but in a different way: failing people were constantly striving for one thingâsuccess. But successful people were also only striving to maintain their success. It was the difference between running and running in place, and although running was boring no matter what, at least the person running was moving, through different scenery and past different vistas.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âWe are so old, we have become young again.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âEveryone thought they would be friends for decades, forever. But for most people, of course, that hadn't happened. As you got older, you realized that the qualities you valued in the people you slept with or dated weren't necessarily the ones you wanted to live with, or be with, or plod through your days with. If you were smart, and if you were lucky, you learned this and accepted this. You figured out what was most important to you and you looked for it, and you learned to be realistic.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

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âBut then, didnât everyone only tell their lives â truly tell their lives â to one person?â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âIt had always seemed to him a very plush kind of problem, a privilege, really, to consider whether life was meaningful or not.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âI have never been one of those peopleâI know you arenât, eitherâwho feels that the love one has for a child is somehow a superior love, one more meaningful, more significant, and grander than any other. I didnât feel that before Jacob, and I didnât feel that after. But it is a singular love, because it is a love whose foundation is not physical attraction, or pleasure, or intellect, but fear. You have never known fear until you have a child, and maybe that is what tricks us into thinking that it is more magnificent, because the fear itself is more magnificent. Every day, your first thought is not âI love himâ but âHow is he?â The world, overnight, rearranges itself into an obstacle course of terrors. I would hold him in my arms and wait to cross the street and would think how absurd it was that my child, that any child, could expect to survive this life. It seemed as improbable as the survival of one of those late-spring butterfliesâyou know, those little white onesâI sometimes saw wobbling through the air, always just millimeters away from smacking itself against a windshield.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âRelationships never provide you with everything. They provide you with some things. You take all the things you want from a person -- sexual chemistry, let's say, or good conversation, or financial support, or intellectual compatibility, or niceness, or loyalty -- and you get to pick three of those things. The rest you have to look for elsewhere. It's only in the movies that you find someone who gives you all those things. But this isn't the movies. In the real world, you have to identify which three qualities you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then you look for those qualities in another person. That's real life. Don't you see it's a trap? If you keep trying to find everything, you'll wind up with nothing.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
â...when your child dies, you feel everything you'd expect to feel, feelings so well-documented by so many others that I won't even bother to list them here, except to say that everything that's written about mourning is all the same, and it's all the same for a reason - because there is no read deviation from the text. Sometimes you feel more of one thing and less of another, and sometimes you feel them out of order, and sometimes you feel them for a longer time or a shorter time. But the sensations are always the same. But here's what no one says - when it's your child, a part of you, a very tiny but nonetheless unignorable part of you, also feels relief. Because finally, the moment you have been expecting, been dreading, been preparing yourself for since the day you became a parent, has come. Ah, you tell yourself, it's arrived. Here it is. And after that, you have nothing to fear again.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

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âIt is also then that I wish I believed in some sort of life after life, that in another universe, maybe on a small red planet where we have not legs but tails, where we paddle through the atmosphere like seals, where the air itself is sustenance, composed of trillions of molecules of protein and sugar and all one has to do is open one's mouth and inhale in order to remain alive and healthy, maybe you two are there together, floating through the climate. Or maybe he is closer still: maybe he is that gray cat that has begun to sit outside our neighbor's house, purring when I reach out my hand to it; maybe he is that new puppy I see tugging at the end of my other neighbor's leash; maybe he is that toddler I saw running through the square a few months ago, shrieking with joy, his parents huffing after him; maybe he is that flower that suddenly bloomed on the rhododendron bush I thought had died long ago; maybe he is that cloud, that wave, that rain, that mist. It isn't only that he died, or how he died; it is what he died believing. And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
âHe experienced the singular pleasure of watching people he loved fall in love with other people he loved.â â Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life