Genetically Modified

“I think he was more embarrassed than upset. C’est la vie,” Arcadia shrugged, giving her full attention to Cosima as she explained her own experience. “Sounds very vanilla. Who knew you’d turn out so wild,” the wolf teased through a toothy grin, her hands dropping to rest upon Cosima’s shoulders. “There’s something about a woman that just feels so soft and welcoming. Not to mention the scent. I can smell you from a mile away.”

Cosima winced when she called her “relationship” vanilla. “You’re totally right.” She could feel her face heat up when Arcadia said she could smell her from a mile away. “I mean, usually, that would probably be an insult. But, not everyone has a super sniffer like you do.” Her index finger came up to gently poke at her girlfriend’s nose. A thought popped into her head, proving that she was always curious. “What do I smell like? Is it unique or do some people smell similar?” Another wince. “Now that I’ve asked that, I’m not sure I want to know.”

A soft purr rumbled in her throat as Cosima stole another kiss—the faintest trailing of her thumbs behind her girlfriend’s ears as a sign of gentle affection accompanied the lip-lock. “Oh well…you know how much I love big, hairy men. Woman are so soft and warm. Yuck,” he teased, brows rising in jest as the wolf waited for Cosima’s reaction. “Obviously I told her no. I kissed a boy in my pack when I was 12…and then kissed his sister and never went back.”

A shiver ran through her at the feel of Arcadia’s thumbs moving behind her ears, unable to hold back a laugh when she said she had kissed a boy. “I bet he totally loved that,” she said, her smile widening as she spoke. “I dated a boy back in junior high. He was really nice, but it definitely confirmed some things for me.” She shook her head at the memory, the smile remaining. “His name was Seth and we dated for about six months. And by date I mean we held hands and made out between classes.” 

“You’re not the one who should be apologizing,” Arcadia rebounded, a faint smile rising at the corner of her mouth as she felt Cosima reaching to kiss her. The height difference would never get old.

“Much to my surprise. You think she would have found a softer way to ease into the whole, ‘have you ever had children?’ question. Perhaps my beastly ways give her the illusion that nothing phases me. In any case…I think it’s quite obvious what my answer was,” she teased, the wolf’s hand cupping the side’s of Cosima’s neck.

Cosima knew she could keep arguing the fact that she should be apologizing, but it also wasn’t worth it. “I’m starting to realize that bluntness and lack of filters seems to run in the family.” A smile appeared when she felt Arcadia’s hand moved to her neck, enjoying the closeness of her girlfriend. 

“And what was your answer?” Before she allowed the other woman to answer, she pressed another kiss to her lips. 

“Really,” the wolf highlighted, allowing herself to be wrangled in closer by Cosima’s wily arms. Resting her hands upon her girlfriend’s shoulders as she leaned into the other’s touch, Arcadia faintly smiled at the promise, “I appreciate that, and I look forward to hearing the progression as you test further. Side note, can I ask one more favor?” She asked, turning on the puppy eyes. “Please tell Alison to stop asking me questions about my monthly cycle, unless it’s to do with the full moon.”

Cosima quickly nodded when Arcadia asked if she could do her a favor. “Of course.” Her body visibly relaxed when she realized that her girlfriend wasn’t upset anymore. The favor had her laughing as she shook her head. “Alison really seems to be struggling with boundaries. I’m sorry.” Standing on her tip toes, she pressed a kiss to the other woman’s lips. “Did she really ask you if you’ve been with a man before?”

Letting the dust settle in the midst of their tiff, the wolf’s arms relaxed almost instantly when Cosima reached out to take her hand. “It’s fine, Cosima—I know why you did it and I can respect your dedication to the science. I’ve never lied to you…All I ask is you give me the same courtesy, please.” A chaste kiss was placed on the back of the brunette’s hand. “You should give it another go.”

Cosima was fully expecting Arcadia to say that she didn’t want her DNA being used for the experiment, and yet she surprised her once again by encouraging her to try again. “Really?” She was relieved that Arcadia hadn’t told her to go home, in fact she kissed her on the back of her hand. “I promise you you will never be left out of something like that again.” Her arms snaked around her girlfriend’s waist, pulling her in closer.

Arcadia stood her ground, eyes transfixed on Cosima as the clone rounded the island to stand in front of her. Her expression remained stoic, allowing her girlfriend to explain the situation in detail. Her brow creased; Alison’s questions made sense with the context clues Cosima gave. “And you didn’t think to tell me that my regenerative properties were being harvested for duel purposes?” she asked, her features softening as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“It would have been better coming from you than pussyfooting around the subject the way Alison did. You know I would never deny you the opportunity to help your sisters. I guess I just wish I would have been privy to the plan.”

“You’re absolutely right,” she said after respectfully waiting for Arcadia to finish speaking. “It’s so not fair to you. I wasn’t being fair and I’m sorry.” Cosima tentatively reached out to take one of her girlfriend’s hands. “Truth be told, I’ve only run one experiment and it’s come back inconclusive.” 

Her other hand reached up to rub the back of her own neck to convey her discomfort. “I’m sorry for not telling you.”

There certainly had been sticking—more so than the wolf was used to when they had been working on the inoculate. Every few days she’d give a few vials, which turned into weeks on end. Arcadia grew suspicious that something wasn’t quite right, given the amount of poking and prodding that was going on—and not just from needlesticks.

“I need you to be honest with me, Cos,” Arcadia pleaded, standing across the kitchen island in her home, stare unwavering at the brunette on the other side. “First the copious amounts of blood…then I go to help Alison move inventory for Bubbles and I’m given the forth degree about ‘have I ever had sex with a man?, ‘have I ever had children?,’ ‘how often do I get my period and when do I ovulate?’ A little too personal for me and your sister to be sharing information like that. What is going on?”

Cosima quickly realized this was going to be a serious conversation and so clipped her joint, exhaling the last mouthful of smoke for the time being. Eyebrows creased when Alison was mentioned before her expression relaxed. Of course Alison couldn’t keep her promise to not mention anything remotely related to the experiments Cosima was conducting. She also said several times to not get her hopes up as she couldn’t guarantee that this would workout. 

Hearing that she had gone as far as asking about having children and what her period was like had Cosima quickly tensing up. “She said what?” Coming around the kitchen island, she exhaled shakily. Honestly, she knew they would be having this talk eventually. She had just hoped that it would have been on her terms. “After everything that happened with your DNA curing me, saving me, Alison had come to me asking if it was possible to reverse our ability to be able to have biological children.” Her eyes didn’t shift from Arcadia. “It was on the back burner the entire time. I promise you I was not taking your blood solely for that. She just put the thought into my mind and I wanted to see if it was a possibility.” 

Plopping down on the love seat beside Cosima, the wolf opened her arm for the scientist to slide in against her during the kiss. The romantic gesture did take her mind off most recent events momentarily…however, she wasn’t sure she’d ever fully recover. Upon breaking from the lip-lock, Arcadia sighed, still hovering close to the other’s face, “It’s nice to come home after a long day of dealing with Sarah to this. You’re still planning to stick me later?”

A soft laugh fell from her lips when she mentioned Sarah. “Was it just a day of butting heads?” Her hand came up so she could gently stroke her thumb over Arcadia’s cheekbone. At the question, the movement faltered as her eyebrows rose. “Oh,” she said, suddenly realizing what the other woman meant. “Yes, I’m still planning on sticking you later.” Shaking her head, she felt ashamed that her mind immediately went there. “As long as you’re ok with that.” 

For as much as Arcadia reassured her that she wanted to help them in anyway she could, Cosima never wanted her to feel like she was being taken advantage of. 

“Sorry…I’m just a little unnerved,” Arcadia huffed, wringing her hands repeatedly in the sink. When she felt she’d scoured them clean, the wolf patted them dry on her jeans. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look Donnie in the eye again without thinking of this very moment,” she deadpanned, hands firmly planted on her hips as she wandered back to the more homey side of the lab to rejoin Cosima. “I’ll pass on the drink, but you could take my mind off it with a little sugar.”

“And now I won’t be able to either,” she said, a visible cringe present as she spoke. Shifting over to make room for Arcadia, she laughed softly at her question. “I sure can,” she murmured before leaning in to press her lips to her girlfriend’s. Admittedly in the back of her mind she was hoping that would be the end of that discussion. 

“Concerns?” Arcadia asked in surprise, “I’m concerned that you’re storing DNA inside the mini fridge next to Scott’s lunch, your Kambucha and the sodas. I’m afraid to reach in for another go. I might find some Art or Felix next.” Gingerly putting the specimen jar back onto the fridge rack (far from any of the other items), she closed the door and stood up to full height. “I at least hope he wiped the jar off when he was done,” she grimaced, crossing into the lab to wash her hands thoroughly.

Judging by the way Arcadia said ‘concerns’, it seemed like her lie was convincing. A grimace took over her features as Art and Felix were mentioned. “If I had an appetite, I wouldn’t have one now.” Shuddering at the comment about wiping the jar, her gaze followed Arcadia as she went to wash her hands. “It was cleaned several times, trust me.” She made a mental note to order another fridge and she would certainly make sure to label it “do not open”. 

“You sure you don’t want anything to drink now?” 

“Oh goodie,” Arc mused, her brow furrowing in a playful way as Cosima pulled her along to the love seat in the makeshift living quarters at the back of the lab.  “I’m parched…Ran all the way here from Kira’s school. Someone forgot her science project that Auntie Cosima helped with, and we wouldn’t have that.” Breaking from the scientist’s grip momentarily, the wolf bent down to open the mini fridge beside the love seat. Reaching inside without really looking, she pulled out what seemed to be a small can of soda. Attempting to screw off the lid, which seemed to be on tight, she brought it up to level eye sight. “Cosima!…Why did I almost drink Donnie sperm?”

“Definitely can’t have that, since she’s destined to get an A+.” Hearing that she had run all the way here kept the wide smile on her face. “You couldn’t wait to see me, could you?” Cosima watched as Arcadia went to open the fridge, only remembering what was in there as she reached in. “Uh,” she sounded, realizing soon enough that it was too late. Still, her eyes widened as the specimen jar was brought up to eye level.

So much for keeping that a secret. “Donnie just had some concerns, he thought I could help.” That was her poor attempt at still trying to keep her promise to Alison.

Trotting downstairs to the lab, Arcadia’s line of sight went immediately to Cosima, a matching smile present on features. “Hello darling,” she purred, wrapping her arms around her much smaller girlfriend as they embraced. “Are you hard at work or hardly working?” she teased, peppering Cosima’s cheek with kisses before settling on her lips. “Do I need to be on my best behavior? I don’t see Scotty around so I’m hoping the answer is no.”

“He went home to take care of his cat.” She stopped talking to return the kiss for a moment. “So, no need to behave.” Her hands moved to her girlfriend’s waist as she began kissing her again. Eventually (and reluctantly) she moved back to look up to her girlfriend with a wide smile. “I’ve been working too hard,” she said with a pout, “so you came at the perfect time and gave me the perfect excuse to take a break.” Another kiss was pressed to Arcadia’s lips before she guided her over to sit down on the love seat. 

“I should hope not, but, someone with delusions of grandeur may come along and decide to take off where DYAD left off. And if someone does…We’ll be ready for them,” she mirrored Cosima’s smile, graciously accepting the quick kiss. Tilting her head to look up to the star filled sky, Arcadia drew in a deep breath.  “You say that now, but wait until the winter when I start shedding all over the house.”

She perked up at Arcadia’s comment about shedding. “How does that work?” They spoke for nearly an hour outside before exhaustion began to take over her body. She spent the night and part of the next day before she was needed back in the lab. 

Alison had stopped by earlier to discuss the possibility of the cure that worked for Cosima having the ability to become fertile again. Truthfully Cosima didn’t know if it was possible, but knowing how much it would mean to her sister made her want to pursue it. She also promised that she wouldn’t make it known to anyone else (besides Scott) that she was testing it out. 

Perking up when she heard the door open, a big smile spread across her lips at seeing Arcadia. “Hey you.” Stepping out from behind the lab table, she greeted her girlfriend with a hug.

“I know it has,” she acknowledged, keeping hold of Cosima’s hand as the other’s thumb made soothing passes over the back. “I made my intentions clear when you broke me free and I will never go back on my word. I’m with you for the long haul. There will always be trials and tribulations, even after we crush Neolution, but you won’t have to go through the alone anymore.” 

Arcadia’s words conjured up bittersweet feelings as she thought about the fact that Neolution still dominated most of their thoughts. However, Arcadia promised she would be by her side. “You mean there will be other people after me and my sisters even when we take them down?” It was said with a sarcastic tone and a smile to match. “You won’t be able to get rid of me either.” After speaking, she leaned in to press a chaste kiss to the other woman’s lips.

The silence had Arcadia panicked—afraid she’d spoke too soon, despite the avid response to never apologize for her heart. Her eyes never broke from Cosima’s, holding her ground and facing her fear of rejection head on. 

Quite the opposite reaction her mind had anticipated however. With Cosima’s returned affection, the wolf’s smile brightened, pulling the brunette into a quick kiss before quickly deciding to explain herself, even if it made her sound insane. “I know it’s soon—but it never felt slow for me. All the time we spent together in the lab when I was imprisoned; the times I stayed by your bedside after you helped me escape, recovering from your seizure. I felt myself being drawn in, way before we had our first kiss.”

Cosima felt her face heat up as Arcadia further explained when she realized she was in love with her. Her hand reached out to grab her girlfriends, thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. Cosima’s eyebrows creased as it brought up memories of some difficult times they had both been to. She couldn’t imagine it happening without the other woman by her side. “You’ve so selflessly helped me and my sisters and I know there was no agenda behind any of it. It’s been so hard for me to trust anyone, especially after I’ve discovered that there have been people monitoring me since I was a baby.” 

Lifting her head from the crook of Cosima’s neck, the panic in the wolf’s eyes had her stammering. Rose tinted cheeks, Arcadia shyly made eye contact with Cosima, drawing in a staggered breathe. “I…” She paused momentarily, bringing her hand up to cup Cosima’s cheek as she pushed forward on bated breath. “I love you, Cos. I’m sorry,” she squeezed her eye shut. “You don’t have to say it back. I just…I needed you to know. I’ve felt this way for quite some time.”

Cosima turned around completely (after having Dodger move off of her lap). She didn’t dare speak as Arcadia expressed how she felt. Her eyes moved between the other woman’s eyes and her mouth as she spoke. “Don’t apologize.” Was the first thing she said, covering the other woman’s hand that was touching her cheek. Realizing that she had felt that way for some time surprised Cosima, but as she sat in silence she thought back on their previous interactions. 

Once she noticed how long she was silent for, she looked back to Arcadia’s eyes. Coming so close to death had put so many things into perspective for Cosima and she knew there was no point in holding in her feelings. “I love you, too,” she said through a shaky voice, suddenly overcome with emotions.

“I’ve had plenty of practice receiving the fourth degree from Sarah and Alison, so your father should be a piece of cake. If he’s anything like you, I’m sure I’ll be in great company,” Arcadia reaffirmed, burying her face against Cosima’s neck. “I love—” she whispered against the brunette’s neck, catching herself before she could finish.

Was it the right time? They’d only danced around each other for months, confiding in one another, even before they’d made their feelings know. Now she could feel the lump in her throat preventing her from moving forward.

“That’s so true,” she said through a laugh. “If you can deal with Alison’s barrage of questions, you can handle just about anyone.” Her eyes open when she realized why Arcadia had cut herself off. She could ignore it and that’s what she thought about doing but decided against it. “You love what?”

As she spoke, she sat up and turned her head to at least attempt to look back at Arcadia. It seemed like the sort of thing you should make eye contact as it was said.