Between The Bars

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

teaching teenagers safe sex but not encouraging them to engage or seek out dangerous sexual situations or sex with a partner who doesn’t care about them in an attempt to be ‘sexually liberated’ 

In this house, dumb bitch hours are 24 fucking 7

Why is it?? That I can go through the whole day feeling fine and dandy but the second I lay down for bed impending doom settles on me?

“C minor! Put it in C minor!” - The Fairy Godmother in Shrek 2, about to SNATCH ME BALD!

did u guys see the deer with the ribbon

did u see this

He cookin

im a hoe for art restoration

ive been thinking and honest to god: i think i would actually join a girl gang if the offer came. like a legitimate, hierarchical, “let’s carry knives under our skirts and beat up men” gang. fuck college

and this was no “5 girls in a small town” who made the news—this was yakuza level shit. 20,000 girls getting into gang fights and shoplifting and getting pissed off that only men were allowed to be rough and violent and angry

Anyway… 2019 is about being bisexual and sexy