storytime

Sunlight streams through the window, illuminating the room in a soft, golden glow. Birds chirp outside, creating a peaceful melody, and a chill breeze blows through the leaves. It’s quiet, peaceful. Inside, Charlie sits on a chair, fast asleep. Rope binds her to the chair, and her head lolls forward. Sleep and Charlie Cale have… a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. She slept well as a child, but as she grew up, her long shifts at the casino took a toll on her mentally, physically...and especially her sleep. While on the run, sleep was a luxury she couldn’t afford, her senses always on high alert, preparing for danger. 

But in the days she spent with Luca, those short, yet happy days… she was okay.

She was incredible, actually. She was safe. She felt loved. Luca protected her.

And now, it’s all over.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Charlie bolts awake at the voice, her eyes snapping open. “Wondered how long it’d take you to wake up. I’ve just been sitting here watching you drool all over yourself.” Alex chuckles, twirling a knife between her fingers, the blade glinting in the light.

Charlie groans, her body throbbing with a dull ache as she slowly wakes up. A wave of nausea and dizziness washes over her, the world still spinning despite her attempts to blink it away.

“Hey. Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Alex snaps, clicking her fingers in front of Charlie’s face. Memories come back then, albeit hazy. A bag over her head, a sharp sting at her neck. Then nothing.

“Luca.” Charlie murmurs, her voice panicked. “W-Where’s Luca…?” Her heart pounds against her ribs, and she writhes in the chair, grunting as she strains against her bindings, desperately trying to free herself. But it makes no difference. Charlie slumps against the back of the chair, tears welling in her eyes as the aching sense of hopelessness floods throughout her blood. She fights the urge to cry, determined not to let Alex witness her pain. 

But it’s too late.

“Aw.” Alex pouts mockingly, her expression soon growing into a smirk. “You don’t remember, do you? I must’ve drugged you pretty strongly. But you have been out for a couple of days.” she laughs proudly, grinning triumphantly. “You broke his heart, remember? So…he’s probably not coming for you.”

“But I don’t love you.” All at once, everything comes rushing back, completely overwhelming her. The pain, the lies… and the heartbreak, the anguish, on Luca’s face. Poor, lovesick Luca’s face. Charlie’s gut twists. She was doing this to save him, and to keep him safe. That’s what matters.

But she still feels like the worst person in the entire world.

“That’s not what I’m interested in right now, though. I went through your pockets when you were asleep, and just look what I found.” Alex chuckles, plunging her knife into the armrest of the chair between Charlie’s fingers, making Charlie jump and ‌cry out:

“Jesus-” Charlie looks up, seeing an all too familiar device dangling from Alex’s grip.

Her panic alarm. Charlie’s chest tightens, sucking all the air out of her lungs. "No. No, no, no."

“How sweet.” Alex chuckles. “Your boyfriend really thought he could save you, huh?”

“You said I broke his heart. And he’s not my-”

“Bullshit.” She scoffs. “I saw the way he looks at you, Charlie. That man is whipped for you. So romantic, isn’t it? Just like a fairytale, with you as the damsel in distress.” Alex pauses, chuckling. “Or would you prefer I call you Lady Galahad?” Alex smirks. Charlie’s blood runs cold, hardening to ice in her veins.

More memories hit her then, sudden and intense, persisting despite her attempts to stop them.

Natalie. The face she sees every time she wakes up, and every time she goes to sleep. The first person she couldn’t save, but the one she wanted to, so, so badly. The failure that’s haunted her ever since. An all too familiar hollow ache, the stinging feeling of failure, drops into her gut. 

“Don’t you ever call me that name again.” she spits, leaning forward despite the pain of the rope digging into her skin. Alex simply laughs. 

“Galahad. The most gallant and perfect of the knights.” She continues, grabbing Charlie's shoulder and yanking her back into the chair. “Doesn’t really fit you though, does it, Charlie?" she chuckles, digging her fingers deeper into Charlie’s shoulder. “I mean, you’re a fucking mess.”

“Yeah, well, being hunted by a serial killer will do that to you.” Charlie snaps. Alex continues, ignoring her.

“That's what this has all been for, right? Trying to help people, save them. To bring justice against people like me. All because you couldn’t keep your best friend alive. Because you failed.” 

That fills Charlie with even more rage. Not because she doesn’t think she’s a failure, no, Charlie knows she is. 

It’s because only Charlie Cale gets to call herself a fucking failure.

“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth-“ Charlie orders, her voice breaking. She thrashes against her restraints, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she strains to free herself and reach Alex.

“And then you failed at protecting Beatrix.”

“That was your fault, actually.” Alex shrugs, grinning. Charlie’s urge to wipe that grin off ‌her face intensifies.

“They say bad things come in threes, don’t they? So, let’s see if you're unlucky this time too, and invite Luca to join us.” Alex chuckles, holding the panic alarm aloft, out of Charlie’s reach.

“Y-You really think that’s a good idea?” Charlie stammers, trying to hide her fear. “He’ll bring all his agent friends down here to stop you too. He’s smart, he’ll know this is a trap.”

Alex laughs, rolling her eyes. “Oh, please. He’s not that smart. He couldn’t even figure out who I was. And I’ve seen how that man looks at you. He would do absolutely anything to find you, Charlie. And he’s so stupidly lovesick, and so determined, he’d do it all by himself, which is exactly what I need.”

She’s right. Charlie knows she is. Luca has always wanted to be the hero, even when it could put him at risk. He would absolutely come for her alone. And that’s because he’s such a good person, far better than Charlie could ever be. That doesn’t make him stupid. It makes him brave. 

Luca told her once that the only reason‌ he got his promotion was because of her, and that she’s the smartest one out of them both. Charlie laughed it off, even though she knew it was wrong. Luca Clark is an incredible agent, much better than he ever gives himself credit for. And god, Charlie wishes Luca could see himself the way she sees him, and realise just how smart, compassionate and committed he is. 

He’s already saved her ass before. 

Now, it's up to Charlie to save his.

Alex’s finger hovers over the button, and Charlie’s eyes widen.

“No. No.” Charlie gasps, her stomach lurching. Instantly, her anger disappears, replaced by pure, primal fear. “He has nothing to do with this, Alex, please!”

“Bullshit. He has everything to do with this.” Alex tilts her head, watching Charlie struggle and panic. “It’s hilarious seeing you panic like this, you know? I thought Charlie Cale only ever wanted to be alone, and only cared about herself.” Charlie grunts and swears, straining and trying with all her might to lean forward and snatch the alarm right out of Alex’s hand. The rope strains against her, burning as it digs into her skin and causing her to swear, but Charlie pushes through it.

“Alex, please.” Charlie begs, tears streaming down her face. “Why don’t you just kill me instead, get it over with. I’m the one you want, it’s always been me! Just-“

“Oh, I am going to kill you.” She chuckles. “But I’m going to kill him first, and make you watch.” 

And with that, she presses the button on the panic alarm.

Meanwhile, Luca is sitting in his car by the side of the road. His head is in his hands, and he groans as he runs his fingers through his hair. His half-finished coffee and fast-food breakfast sit beside him, and he tiredly rubs his eyes. He’s been desperately searching for Charlie ever since she left, with little success… or sleep. Clearly, she wants to be hidden, and considering everything that’s been going on, that’s understandable.

Yet… Luca can’t forget the look on her face when she told him she never wanted to see him again. He’s replayed the scene at least a thousand times since then, trying to decipher every word she said, every shift in her expression, and try as he might, he can’t stop thinking about what that could mean. Or can't stop thinking about the one possibility he doesn't want to confront.

That maybe she wasn’t in danger, and that he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Maybe whatever they had is gone, or it wasn’t even there at all.

Maybe Charlie truly doesn’t want to be found.

Or at least… not by Luca.

But just as he’s about to consider calling it quits, his phone beeps loudly. Immediately, he’s wide awake, grabbing his phone and checking the alert. Charlie’s panic alarm has been activated. His heart pounds against his ribs, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He was right, Charlie is in danger. She’s close by, an hour max. But Luca could make it even quicker than that. 

The thought that this is a little too convenient - that Charlie’s panic button would suddenly activate just as he’s thinking about her, and this could be a trap - crosses his mind, but his determination to find Charlie and keep her safe is so strong that it overpowers everything else. Luca types the address into his GPS, and quickly heads back onto the road.

The address belongs to a house in the middle of nowhere. The paint is peeling off the walls, and a few of the windows are broken too. An eerie quiet hangs in the air, and everything is still. Immediately, Luca’s breath hitches, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. He steps up towards the door, pushing it open. The door creaks, the sound echoing through the house. Stepping inside, Luca’s hands instinctively go to his gun as he looks around for any sign of Charlie.

Footsteps approach, and he lets out a sigh. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that-”

But then, hard and cold metal presses against the back of his neck. “Hello again, Luca.” Alex chuckles. “Wasn’t too smart of you to come to an abandoned house all alone, was it?”

“Pointing a gun at an armed FBI agent isn't exactly a smart move either.” Luca retorts, and she scoffs dismissively.

“Pull that on me, and I’ll make Charlie pay whilst you watch.” Luca immediately freezes, his body tense as his breath catches in his throat. He knew it. This was a trap.

“Where is she, Alex?”

“Upstairs. She’s waiting for you.” Alex teases, pressing the gun harder into the back of Luca’s neck. “So let’s walk.”

Sure enough, upstairs Charlie remains tied to her chair, with tape covering her mouth. Luca’s heart stops. He breaks away from Alex, dropping to his knees before Charlie. “Oh my god. Charlie, shit-” he fumbles, his hands still shaking as he tries to remove the rope from her wrists and ankles.

“Uh uh.” Alex tuts, pointing her gun at him. “Sit, Luca.” Luca ignores her, completely focused on helping Charlie. “Hey, didn’t you hear me? I said SIT-”

Luca turns, striking Alex hard across her face. She hisses, stumbling backwards, momentarily disoriented. Charlie blinks at Luca in confusion as he takes the tape off her mouth. That was fucking awesome, but completely unexpected. “Why the hell did you do that?! That’s just gonna piss her off-” 

But as Alex goes to grab Charlie this time, Luca fends her off once more. Charlie watches the pair fighting, wanting to help but not sure how, other than throwing out encouraging words to Luca. The pair fight well, but after a while, Luca fails to dodge one of Alex’s hits, leading to her momentarily gaining the upper hand. Pulling out her gun, she aims it right at Charlie’s temple. “Sit….” she repeats, panting. “Or I’ll shoot her.” Panicked, Luca’s eyes dart between her and Charlie, weighing up what he could do. When he locks eyes with Charlie, she frantically shakes her head, urging him to drop it and do what Alex says. 

And Luca does as he’s told.

“Good.” Alex looks between them both, still keeping the gun pointed at Charlie, a silent warning in case Luca tries anything.

“Alex, let him go, I told you-” 

“Shut up!” She hisses. “Now…I’m going to make you regret ever crossing me.” She pants, her eyes wild with rage and adrenaline. “And we’re going to start with-”

But then, someone violently kicks open the door downstairs, and other voices fill the air.

“FBI! Hands in the air!” 

“What the hell did you do?!” Alex demands.

And everything descends into chaos. Glass breaks, doors are kicked open… and through it all, Luca and Charlie keep their gazes locked on each other. Panicking, Alex tries to make a break for the door, but it’s too late, and she’s easily overpowered by the approaching agents, who subdue her and drag her outside. Charlie pants, trying to make sense of everything. Her heart rate is still going a million miles an hour, pounding in her ears like a drum, and she’s still shaking.

“Guys, can we give her a minute?” Luca asks. Suddenly, he’s in front of her again, gently taking her hands. His touch is warm and gentle, and he runs his hands along her knuckles. “It’s okay. Shh, shh….” he soothes, holding her as she calms down.

“W-What the hell happened?” Charlie gasps, making him chuckle.

“I knew something was suspicious when I saw the house. I called for backup just in case.” He removes the rope that binds her wrists and ankles with a smile. “There you go. You're safe now.”

As soon as she hears those words, Charlie starts sobbing.

“See? I told you it was a good idea to have a panic alarm, didn’t I?” Luca grins, his grin immediately faltering as he realises that wasn't the best thing to say, or the best time to say it.

But Charlie’s too grateful to care. She lunges forward, almost sending Luca to the floor with the speed she tackles him into a hug. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay-“ Charlie sobs into his shirt, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her up as her body shakes. “It’s alright, it’s okay. It’s over now.”

“I didn’t mean what I said, I-she made me do it. She threatened you, and-” Charlie mumbles.

 “I know. I know. It’s okay.” Luca holds her until she calms down. He doesn’t loosen his grip, even when he’s sure she’ll be okay. Because for once, everything in their life is going well for them, and he’s terrified that this is still a dream, that if he lets her go, he’ll lose her forever. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. She smells like home, like new beginnings.

“What’s going to happen to us?” Charlie murmurs. “Are you going to arrest me?”

He has to. They both know it. There’s no way they make it out of this, in any universe. But god, Luca will do everything in his power to make sure they do, even if it's til his last breath.

“No.” Luca insists. “I won’t let anything happen to you ever again, Charlie. I promise.”

Sunlight streams through the window, illuminating the room in a soft, golden glow. Birds chirp outside, creating a peaceful melody, and a chill breeze blows through the leaves. It’s quiet, peaceful. Inside, Charlie sits on a chair, fast asleep. Rope binds her to the chair, and her head lolls forward. Sleep and Charlie Cale have… a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. She slept well as a child, but as she grew up, her long shifts at the casino took a toll on her mentally, physically...and especially her sleep. While on the run, sleep was a luxury she couldn’t afford, her senses always on high alert, preparing for danger. 

But in the days she spent with Luca, those short, yet happy days… she was okay.

She was incredible, actually. She was safe. She felt loved. Luca protected her.

And now, it’s all over.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Charlie bolts awake at the voice, her eyes snapping open. “Wondered how long it’d take you to wake up. I’ve just been sitting here watching you drool all over yourself.” Alex chuckles, twirling a knife between her fingers, the blade glinting in the light.

Charlie groans, her body throbbing with a dull ache as she slowly wakes up. A wave of nausea and dizziness washes over her, the world still spinning despite her attempts to blink it away.

“Hey. Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Alex snaps, clicking her fingers in front of Charlie’s face. Memories come back then, albeit hazy. A bag over her head, a sharp sting at her neck. Then nothing.

“Luca.” Charlie murmurs, her voice panicked. “W-Where’s Luca…?” Her heart pounds against her ribs, and she writhes in the chair, grunting as she strains against her bindings, desperately trying to free herself. But it makes no difference. Charlie slumps against the back of the chair, tears welling in her eyes as the aching sense of hopelessness floods throughout her blood. She fights the urge to cry, determined not to let Alex witness her pain. 

But it’s too late.

“Aw.” Alex pouts mockingly, her expression soon growing into a smirk. “You don’t remember, do you? I must’ve drugged you pretty strongly. But you have been out for a couple of days.” she laughs proudly, grinning triumphantly. “You broke his heart, remember? So…he’s probably not coming for you.”

“But I don’t love you.” All at once, everything comes rushing back, completely overwhelming her. The pain, the lies… and the heartbreak, the anguish, on Luca’s face. Poor, lovesick Luca’s face. Charlie’s gut twists. She was doing this to save him, and to keep him safe. That’s what matters.

But she still feels like the worst person in the entire world.

“That’s not what I’m interested in right now, though. I went through your pockets when you were asleep, and just look what I found.” Alex chuckles, plunging her knife into the armrest of the chair between Charlie’s fingers, making Charlie jump and ‌cry out:

“Jesus-” Charlie looks up, seeing an all too familiar device dangling from Alex’s grip.

Her panic alarm. Charlie’s chest tightens, sucking all the air out of her lungs. "No. No, no, no."

“How sweet.” Alex chuckles. “Your boyfriend really thought he could save you, huh?”

“You said I broke his heart. And he’s not my-”

“Bullshit.” She scoffs. “I saw the way he looks at you, Charlie. That man is whipped for you. So romantic, isn’t it? Just like a fairytale, with you as the damsel in distress.” Alex pauses, chuckling. “Or would you prefer I call you Lady Galahad?” Alex smirks. Charlie’s blood runs cold, hardening to ice in her veins.

More memories hit her then, sudden and intense, persisting despite her attempts to stop them.

Natalie. The face she sees every time she wakes up, and every time she goes to sleep. The first person she couldn’t save, but the one she wanted to, so, so badly. The failure that’s haunted her ever since. An all too familiar hollow ache, the stinging feeling of failure, drops into her gut. 

“Don’t you ever call me that name again.” she spits, leaning forward despite the pain of the rope digging into her skin. Alex simply laughs. 

“Galahad. The most gallant and perfect of the knights.” She continues, grabbing Charlie's shoulder and yanking her back into the chair. “Doesn’t really fit you though, does it, Charlie?" she chuckles, digging her fingers deeper into Charlie’s shoulder. “I mean, you’re a fucking mess.”

“Yeah, well, being hunted by a serial killer will do that to you.” Charlie snaps. Alex continues, ignoring her.

“That's what this has all been for, right? Trying to help people, save them. To bring justice against people like me. All because you couldn’t keep your best friend alive. Because you failed.” 

That fills Charlie with even more rage. Not because she doesn’t think she’s a failure, no, Charlie knows she is. 

It’s because only Charlie Cale gets to call herself a fucking failure.

“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth-“ Charlie orders, her voice breaking. She thrashes against her restraints, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she strains to free herself and reach Alex.

“And then you failed at protecting Beatrix.”

“That was your fault, actually.” Alex shrugs, grinning. Charlie’s urge to wipe that grin off ‌her face intensifies.

“They say bad things come in threes, don’t they? So, let’s see if you're unlucky this time too, and invite Luca to join us.” Alex chuckles, holding the panic alarm aloft, out of Charlie’s reach.

“Y-You really think that’s a good idea?” Charlie stammers, trying to hide her fear. “He’ll bring all his agent friends down here to stop you too. He’s smart, he’ll know this is a trap.”

Alex laughs, rolling her eyes. “Oh, please. He’s not that smart. He couldn’t even figure out who I was. And I’ve seen how that man looks at you. He would do absolutely anything to find you, Charlie. And he’s so stupidly lovesick, and so determined, he’d do it all by himself, which is exactly what I need.”

She’s right. Charlie knows she is. Luca has always wanted to be the hero, even when it could put him at risk. He would absolutely come for her alone. And that’s because he’s such a good person, far better than Charlie could ever be. That doesn’t make him stupid. It makes him brave. 

Luca told her once that the only reason‌ he got his promotion was because of her, and that she’s the smartest one out of them both. Charlie laughed it off, even though she knew it was wrong. Luca Clark is an incredible agent, much better than he ever gives himself credit for. And god, Charlie wishes Luca could see himself the way she sees him, and realise just how smart, compassionate and committed he is. 

He’s already saved her ass before. 

Now, it's up to Charlie to save his.

Alex’s finger hovers over the button, and Charlie’s eyes widen.

“No. No.” Charlie gasps, her stomach lurching. Instantly, her anger disappears, replaced by pure, primal fear. “He has nothing to do with this, Alex, please!”

“Bullshit. He has everything to do with this.” Alex tilts her head, watching Charlie struggle and panic. “It’s hilarious seeing you panic like this, you know? I thought Charlie Cale only ever wanted to be alone, and only cared about herself.” Charlie grunts and swears, straining and trying with all her might to lean forward and snatch the alarm right out of Alex’s hand. The rope strains against her, burning as it digs into her skin and causing her to swear, but Charlie pushes through it.

“Alex, please.” Charlie begs, tears streaming down her face. “Why don’t you just kill me instead, get it over with. I’m the one you want, it’s always been me! Just-“

“Oh, I am going to kill you.” She chuckles. “But I’m going to kill him first, and make you watch.” 

And with that, she presses the button on the panic alarm.

Meanwhile, Luca is sitting in his car by the side of the road. His head is in his hands, and he groans as he runs his fingers through his hair. His half-finished coffee and fast-food breakfast sit beside him, and he tiredly rubs his eyes. He’s been desperately searching for Charlie ever since she left, with little success… or sleep. Clearly, she wants to be hidden, and considering everything that’s been going on, that’s understandable.

Yet… Luca can’t forget the look on her face when she told him she never wanted to see him again. He’s replayed the scene at least a thousand times since then, trying to decipher every word she said, every shift in her expression, and try as he might, he can’t stop thinking about what that could mean. Or can't stop thinking about the one possibility he doesn't want to confront.

That maybe she wasn’t in danger, and that he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Maybe whatever they had is gone, or it wasn’t even there at all.

Maybe Charlie truly doesn’t want to be found.

Or at least… not by Luca.

But just as he’s about to consider calling it quits, his phone beeps loudly. Immediately, he’s wide awake, grabbing his phone and checking the alert. Charlie’s panic alarm has been activated. His heart pounds against his ribs, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He was right, Charlie is in danger. She’s close by, an hour max. But Luca could make it even quicker than that. 

The thought that this is a little too convenient - that Charlie’s panic button would suddenly activate just as he’s thinking about her, and this could be a trap - crosses his mind, but his determination to find Charlie and keep her safe is so strong that it overpowers everything else. Luca types the address into his GPS, and quickly heads back onto the road.

The address belongs to a house in the middle of nowhere. The paint is peeling off the walls, and a few of the windows are broken too. An eerie quiet hangs in the air, and everything is still. Immediately, Luca’s breath hitches, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. He steps up towards the door, pushing it open. The door creaks, the sound echoing through the house. Stepping inside, Luca’s hands instinctively go to his gun as he looks around for any sign of Charlie.

Footsteps approach, and he lets out a sigh. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that-”

But then, hard and cold metal presses against the back of his neck. “Hello again, Luca.” Alex chuckles. “Wasn’t too smart of you to come to an abandoned house all alone, was it?”

“Pointing a gun at an armed FBI agent isn't exactly a smart move either.” Luca retorts, and she scoffs dismissively.

“Pull that on me, and I’ll make Charlie pay whilst you watch.” Luca immediately freezes, his body tense as his breath catches in his throat. He knew it. This was a trap.

“Where is she, Alex?”

“Upstairs. She’s waiting for you.” Alex teases, pressing the gun harder into the back of Luca’s neck. “So let’s walk.”

Sure enough, upstairs Charlie remains tied to her chair, with tape covering her mouth. Luca’s heart stops. He breaks away from Alex, dropping to his knees before Charlie. “Oh my god. Charlie, shit-” he fumbles, his hands still shaking as he tries to remove the rope from her wrists and ankles.

“Uh uh.” Alex tuts, pointing her gun at him. “Sit, Luca.” Luca ignores her, completely focused on helping Charlie. “Hey, didn’t you hear me? I said SIT-”

Luca turns, striking Alex hard across her face. She hisses, stumbling backwards, momentarily disoriented. Charlie blinks at Luca in confusion as he takes the tape off her mouth. That was fucking awesome, but completely unexpected. “Why the hell did you do that?! That’s just gonna piss her off-” 

But as Alex goes to grab Charlie this time, Luca fends her off once more. Charlie watches the pair fighting, wanting to help but not sure how, other than throwing out encouraging words to Luca. The pair fight well, but after a while, Luca fails to dodge one of Alex’s hits, leading to her momentarily gaining the upper hand. Pulling out her gun, she aims it right at Charlie’s temple. “Sit….” she repeats, panting. “Or I’ll shoot her.” Panicked, Luca’s eyes dart between her and Charlie, weighing up what he could do. When he locks eyes with Charlie, she frantically shakes her head, urging him to drop it and do what Alex says. 

And Luca does as he’s told.

“Good.” Alex looks between them both, still keeping the gun pointed at Charlie, a silent warning in case Luca tries anything.

“Alex, let him go, I told you-” 

“Shut up!” She hisses. “Now…I’m going to make you regret ever crossing me.” She pants, her eyes wild with rage and adrenaline. “And we’re going to start with-”

But then, someone violently kicks open the door downstairs, and other voices fill the air.

“FBI! Hands in the air!” 

“What the hell did you do?!” Alex demands.

And everything descends into chaos. Glass breaks, doors are kicked open… and through it all, Luca and Charlie keep their gazes locked on each other. Panicking, Alex tries to make a break for the door, but it’s too late, and she’s easily overpowered by the approaching agents, who subdue her and drag her outside. Charlie pants, trying to make sense of everything. Her heart rate is still going a million miles an hour, pounding in her ears like a drum, and she’s still shaking.

“Guys, can we give her a minute?” Luca asks. Suddenly, he’s in front of her again, gently taking her hands. His touch is warm and gentle, and he runs his hands along her knuckles. “It’s okay. Shh, shh….” he soothes, holding her as she calms down.

“W-What the hell happened?” Charlie gasps, making him chuckle.

“I knew something was suspicious when I saw the house. I called for backup just in case.” He removes the rope that binds her wrists and ankles with a smile. “There you go. You're safe now.”

As soon as she hears those words, Charlie starts sobbing.

“See? I told you it was a good idea to have a panic alarm, didn’t I?” Luca grins, his grin immediately faltering as he realises that wasn't the best thing to say, or the best time to say it.

But Charlie’s too grateful to care. She lunges forward, almost sending Luca to the floor with the speed she tackles him into a hug. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay-“ Charlie sobs into his shirt, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her up as her body shakes. “It’s alright, it’s okay. It’s over now.”

“I didn’t mean what I said, I-she made me do it. She threatened you, and-” Charlie mumbles.

 “I know. I know. It’s okay.” Luca holds her until she calms down. He doesn’t loosen his grip, even when he’s sure she’ll be okay. Because for once, everything in their life is going well for them, and he’s terrified that this is still a dream, that if he lets her go, he’ll lose her forever. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. She smells like home, like new beginnings.

“What’s going to happen to us?” Charlie murmurs. “Are you going to arrest me?”

He has to. They both know it. There’s no way they make it out of this, in any universe. But god, Luca will do everything in his power to make sure they do, even if it's til his last breath.

“No.” Luca insists. “I won’t let anything happen to you ever again, Charlie. I promise.”

Sunlight streams through the window, illuminating the room in a soft, golden glow. Birds chirp outside, creating a peaceful melody, and a chill breeze blows through the leaves. It’s quiet, peaceful. Inside, Charlie sits on a chair, fast asleep. Rope binds her to the chair, and her head lolls forward. Sleep and Charlie Cale have… a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. She slept well as a child, but as she grew up, her long shifts at the casino took a toll on her mentally, physically...and especially her sleep. While on the run, sleep was a luxury she couldn’t afford, her senses always on high alert, preparing for danger. 

But in the days she spent with Luca, those short, yet happy days… she was okay.

She was incredible, actually. She was safe. She felt loved. Luca protected her.

And now, it’s all over.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Charlie bolts awake at the voice, her eyes snapping open. “Wondered how long it’d take you to wake up. I’ve just been sitting here watching you drool all over yourself.” Alex chuckles, twirling a knife between her fingers, the blade glinting in the light.

Charlie groans, her body throbbing with a dull ache as she slowly wakes up. A wave of nausea and dizziness washes over her, the world still spinning despite her attempts to blink it away.

“Hey. Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Alex snaps, clicking her fingers in front of Charlie’s face. Memories come back then, albeit hazy. A bag over her head, a sharp sting at her neck. Then nothing.

“Luca.” Charlie murmurs, her voice panicked. “W-Where’s Luca…?” Her heart pounds against her ribs, and she writhes in the chair, grunting as she strains against her bindings, desperately trying to free herself. But it makes no difference. Charlie slumps against the back of the chair, tears welling in her eyes as the aching sense of hopelessness floods throughout her blood. She fights the urge to cry, determined not to let Alex witness her pain. 

But it’s too late.

“Aw.” Alex pouts mockingly, her expression soon growing into a smirk. “You don’t remember, do you? I must’ve drugged you pretty strongly. But you have been out for a couple of days.” she laughs proudly, grinning triumphantly. “You broke his heart, remember? So…he’s probably not coming for you.”

“But I don’t love you.” All at once, everything comes rushing back, completely overwhelming her. The pain, the lies… and the heartbreak, the anguish, on Luca’s face. Poor, lovesick Luca’s face. Charlie’s gut twists. She was doing this to save him, and to keep him safe. That’s what matters.

But she still feels like the worst person in the entire world.

“That’s not what I’m interested in right now, though. I went through your pockets when you were asleep, and just look what I found.” Alex chuckles, plunging her knife into the armrest of the chair between Charlie’s fingers, making Charlie jump and ‌cry out:

“Jesus-” Charlie looks up, seeing an all too familiar device dangling from Alex’s grip.

Her panic alarm. Charlie’s chest tightens, sucking all the air out of her lungs. "No. No, no, no."

“How sweet.” Alex chuckles. “Your boyfriend really thought he could save you, huh?”

“You said I broke his heart. And he’s not my-”

“Bullshit.” She scoffs. “I saw the way he looks at you, Charlie. That man is whipped for you. So romantic, isn’t it? Just like a fairytale, with you as the damsel in distress.” Alex pauses, chuckling. “Or would you prefer I call you Lady Galahad?” Alex smirks. Charlie’s blood runs cold, hardening to ice in her veins.

More memories hit her then, sudden and intense, persisting despite her attempts to stop them.

Natalie. The face she sees every time she wakes up, and every time she goes to sleep. The first person she couldn’t save, but the one she wanted to, so, so badly. The failure that’s haunted her ever since. An all too familiar hollow ache, the stinging feeling of failure, drops into her gut. 

“Don’t you ever call me that name again.” she spits, leaning forward despite the pain of the rope digging into her skin. Alex simply laughs. 

“Galahad. The most gallant and perfect of the knights.” She continues, grabbing Charlie's shoulder and yanking her back into the chair. “Doesn’t really fit you though, does it, Charlie?" she chuckles, digging her fingers deeper into Charlie’s shoulder. “I mean, you’re a fucking mess.”

“Yeah, well, being hunted by a serial killer will do that to you.” Charlie snaps. Alex continues, ignoring her.

“That's what this has all been for, right? Trying to help people, save them. To bring justice against people like me. All because you couldn’t keep your best friend alive. Because you failed.” 

That fills Charlie with even more rage. Not because she doesn’t think she’s a failure, no, Charlie knows she is. 

It’s because only Charlie Cale gets to call herself a fucking failure.

“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth-“ Charlie orders, her voice breaking. She thrashes against her restraints, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she strains to free herself and reach Alex.

“And then you failed at protecting Beatrix.”

“That was your fault, actually.” Alex shrugs, grinning. Charlie’s urge to wipe that grin off ‌her face intensifies.

“They say bad things come in threes, don’t they? So, let’s see if you're unlucky this time too, and invite Luca to join us.” Alex chuckles, holding the panic alarm aloft, out of Charlie’s reach.

“Y-You really think that’s a good idea?” Charlie stammers, trying to hide her fear. “He’ll bring all his agent friends down here to stop you too. He’s smart, he’ll know this is a trap.”

Alex laughs, rolling her eyes. “Oh, please. He’s not that smart. He couldn’t even figure out who I was. And I’ve seen how that man looks at you. He would do absolutely anything to find you, Charlie. And he’s so stupidly lovesick, and so determined, he’d do it all by himself, which is exactly what I need.”

She’s right. Charlie knows she is. Luca has always wanted to be the hero, even when it could put him at risk. He would absolutely come for her alone. And that’s because he’s such a good person, far better than Charlie could ever be. That doesn’t make him stupid. It makes him brave. 

Luca told her once that the only reason‌ he got his promotion was because of her, and that she’s the smartest one out of them both. Charlie laughed it off, even though she knew it was wrong. Luca Clark is an incredible agent, much better than he ever gives himself credit for. And god, Charlie wishes Luca could see himself the way she sees him, and realise just how smart, compassionate and committed he is. 

He’s already saved her ass before. 

Now, it's up to Charlie to save his.

Alex’s finger hovers over the button, and Charlie’s eyes widen.

“No. No.” Charlie gasps, her stomach lurching. Instantly, her anger disappears, replaced by pure, primal fear. “He has nothing to do with this, Alex, please!”

“Bullshit. He has everything to do with this.” Alex tilts her head, watching Charlie struggle and panic. “It’s hilarious seeing you panic like this, you know? I thought Charlie Cale only ever wanted to be alone, and only cared about herself.” Charlie grunts and swears, straining and trying with all her might to lean forward and snatch the alarm right out of Alex’s hand. The rope strains against her, burning as it digs into her skin and causing her to swear, but Charlie pushes through it.

“Alex, please.” Charlie begs, tears streaming down her face. “Why don’t you just kill me instead, get it over with. I’m the one you want, it’s always been me! Just-“

“Oh, I am going to kill you.” She chuckles. “But I’m going to kill him first, and make you watch.” 

And with that, she presses the button on the panic alarm.

Meanwhile, Luca is sitting in his car by the side of the road. His head is in his hands, and he groans as he runs his fingers through his hair. His half-finished coffee and fast-food breakfast sit beside him, and he tiredly rubs his eyes. He’s been desperately searching for Charlie ever since she left, with little success… or sleep. Clearly, she wants to be hidden, and considering everything that’s been going on, that’s understandable.

Yet… Luca can’t forget the look on her face when she told him she never wanted to see him again. He’s replayed the scene at least a thousand times since then, trying to decipher every word she said, every shift in her expression, and try as he might, he can’t stop thinking about what that could mean. Or can't stop thinking about the one possibility he doesn't want to confront.

That maybe she wasn’t in danger, and that he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Maybe whatever they had is gone, or it wasn’t even there at all.

Maybe Charlie truly doesn’t want to be found.

Or at least… not by Luca.

But just as he’s about to consider calling it quits, his phone beeps loudly. Immediately, he’s wide awake, grabbing his phone and checking the alert. Charlie’s panic alarm has been activated. His heart pounds against his ribs, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He was right, Charlie is in danger. She’s close by, an hour max. But Luca could make it even quicker than that. 

The thought that this is a little too convenient - that Charlie’s panic button would suddenly activate just as he’s thinking about her, and this could be a trap - crosses his mind, but his determination to find Charlie and keep her safe is so strong that it overpowers everything else. Luca types the address into his GPS, and quickly heads back onto the road.

The address belongs to a house in the middle of nowhere. The paint is peeling off the walls, and a few of the windows are broken too. An eerie quiet hangs in the air, and everything is still. Immediately, Luca’s breath hitches, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. He steps up towards the door, pushing it open. The door creaks, the sound echoing through the house. Stepping inside, Luca’s hands instinctively go to his gun as he looks around for any sign of Charlie.

Footsteps approach, and he lets out a sigh. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that-”

But then, hard and cold metal presses against the back of his neck. “Hello again, Luca.” Alex chuckles. “Wasn’t too smart of you to come to an abandoned house all alone, was it?”

“Pointing a gun at an armed FBI agent isn't exactly a smart move either.” Luca retorts, and she scoffs dismissively.

“Pull that on me, and I’ll make Charlie pay whilst you watch.” Luca immediately freezes, his body tense as his breath catches in his throat. He knew it. This was a trap.

“Where is she, Alex?”

“Upstairs. She’s waiting for you.” Alex teases, pressing the gun harder into the back of Luca’s neck. “So let’s walk.”

Sure enough, upstairs Charlie remains tied to her chair, with tape covering her mouth. Luca’s heart stops. He breaks away from Alex, dropping to his knees before Charlie. “Oh my god. Charlie, shit-” he fumbles, his hands still shaking as he tries to remove the rope from her wrists and ankles.

“Uh uh.” Alex tuts, pointing her gun at him. “Sit, Luca.” Luca ignores her, completely focused on helping Charlie. “Hey, didn’t you hear me? I said SIT-”

Luca turns, striking Alex hard across her face. She hisses, stumbling backwards, momentarily disoriented. Charlie blinks at Luca in confusion as he takes the tape off her mouth. That was fucking awesome, but completely unexpected. “Why the hell did you do that?! That’s just gonna piss her off-” 

But as Alex goes to grab Charlie this time, Luca fends her off once more. Charlie watches the pair fighting, wanting to help but not sure how, other than throwing out encouraging words to Luca. The pair fight well, but after a while, Luca fails to dodge one of Alex’s hits, leading to her momentarily gaining the upper hand. Pulling out her gun, she aims it right at Charlie’s temple. “Sit….” she repeats, panting. “Or I’ll shoot her.” Panicked, Luca’s eyes dart between her and Charlie, weighing up what he could do. When he locks eyes with Charlie, she frantically shakes her head, urging him to drop it and do what Alex says. 

And Luca does as he’s told.

“Good.” Alex looks between them both, still keeping the gun pointed at Charlie, a silent warning in case Luca tries anything.

“Alex, let him go, I told you-” 

“Shut up!” She hisses. “Now…I’m going to make you regret ever crossing me.” She pants, her eyes wild with rage and adrenaline. “And we’re going to start with-”

But then, someone violently kicks open the door downstairs, and other voices fill the air.

“FBI! Hands in the air!” 

“What the hell did you do?!” Alex demands.

And everything descends into chaos. Glass breaks, doors are kicked open… and through it all, Luca and Charlie keep their gazes locked on each other. Panicking, Alex tries to make a break for the door, but it’s too late, and she’s easily overpowered by the approaching agents, who subdue her and drag her outside. Charlie pants, trying to make sense of everything. Her heart rate is still going a million miles an hour, pounding in her ears like a drum, and she’s still shaking.

“Guys, can we give her a minute?” Luca asks. Suddenly, he’s in front of her again, gently taking her hands. His touch is warm and gentle, and he runs his hands along her knuckles. “It’s okay. Shh, shh….” he soothes, holding her as she calms down.

“W-What the hell happened?” Charlie gasps, making him chuckle.

“I knew something was suspicious when I saw the house. I called for backup just in case.” He removes the rope that binds her wrists and ankles with a smile. “There you go. You're safe now.”

As soon as she hears those words, Charlie starts sobbing.

“See? I told you it was a good idea to have a panic alarm, didn’t I?” Luca grins, his grin immediately faltering as he realises that wasn't the best thing to say, or the best time to say it.

But Charlie’s too grateful to care. She lunges forward, almost sending Luca to the floor with the speed she tackles him into a hug. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay-“ Charlie sobs into his shirt, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her up as her body shakes. “It’s alright, it’s okay. It’s over now.”

“I didn’t mean what I said, I-she made me do it. She threatened you, and-” Charlie mumbles.

 “I know. I know. It’s okay.” Luca holds her until she calms down. He doesn’t loosen his grip, even when he’s sure she’ll be okay. Because for once, everything in their life is going well for them, and he’s terrified that this is still a dream, that if he lets her go, he’ll lose her forever. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. She smells like home, like new beginnings.

“What’s going to happen to us?” Charlie murmurs. “Are you going to arrest me?”

He has to. They both know it. There’s no way they make it out of this, in any universe. But god, Luca will do everything in his power to make sure they do, even if it's til his last breath.

“No.” Luca insists. “I won’t let anything happen to you ever again, Charlie. I promise.”

The hotel room is meticulously and ornately decorated. Even though it’s small, it’s cosy, with all the essentials they need. It’s perfect for their overnight stay, but there’s one problem. Despite all its fancy decor, the room has only one double bed.

“I’ll take the couch. I’m sure it’s comfortable.” Y/N says, immediately. Bucky shakes his head.

“Absolutely not,” he declares, his voice firm. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Bucky, this mess is on me,” Y/N insists. “I deserve the couch.” 

Working as Congressman Bucky Barnes’ personal assistant, Y/N gets to spend her days travelling the country alongside a literal superhero. And now, their professional relationship has developed, making him one of her closest friends… and the love of her life. However, she has no intention whatsoever of ever telling him. She’s more than happy being his friend and nothing more. And besides, she’s not even sure he likes her in that way anyway, especially since they’re from two different worlds.

After all, he practically admitted it himself when the press published an article all about her, digging through her background and trying to talk to the neighbours in her apartment block.

“Damn press.” He ‌huffed, massaging his temples and running his hands through his brunette hair, pushing it back and tucking it behind his ears like he does when he’s stressed. Of course, after working with Bucky for so long, Y/N was already well aware of his habits. “I don’t want you to have anything to do with this, or with them. If you hear or see anything, you come to me, understand?”

“That's just what comes with the job.” She shrugged. Honestly though, the sheer volume of attention directed at her for the very first time was genuinely terrifying. “This morning, I saw them waiting for me outside my neighbourhood coffee shop.” She murmured.

Bucky sat up straight then, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. “They…what?” he hissed. Y/N had never seen him so angry… yet so calm at the same time. For a split second, she wondered if this tranquil fury is what he was like as The Winter Soldier, or when he was battling space monsters. “Get me the phone.”

“Bucky, I’m-”

“Y/N. Phone.” She handed it to him without another word. Before she could hear the call, another emergency ushered her out of the room. But she had an idea of what was said based on Bucky’s raised voice coming from his office.

Bucky surprised her with a new apartment in a quieter area of the city the very next day. Well… he didn’t technically pay for it himself. He just increased her pay so she could purchase it. And he didn’t say a single thing about it, or what it was for.

“You’ve been working hard. Here’s a raise.” he told her, handing over the cheque.

“I haven’t been working here that long; I thought I didn’t-”

“Y/N.” His voice was firm, cutting her off. “I insist.”

“I can’t take this,” she said, attempting to hand it back.

“You can, and you will.” he ordered, passing it back over. 

“Surely this is better suited for-”

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than my best employee. You know,” he began, sipping his coffee. “Not to change the subject, but the apartment building opposite mine has just had a place go up for sale. Two bedrooms, big bathroom and kitchen…it’s a quieter area of the city, near a park. It's like a gated community, really. Lots of famous people live there, so it's very private. ...No unwanted paps or journalists.”

She understood what he meant then, and felt her cheeks burning as she stumbled over her words, thanking him profusely for his generosity, but Bucky simply smiled. “Don’t worry about the press; I’ve got it covered. But for now…” he sighed. “Maybe it’s best if you stay away from me, and that we’re not photographed together, until things die down.”

“Oh.” she nodded. “Of course.” He’s right, she knows he is. But she can’t help but feel a small pang of hurt at how his thoughts immediately went to them keeping apart from each other. Despite being closer to Bucky than ever before, she can’t even walk down the street with him anymore.

But just as she turned to leave, she swears she caught a look of disappointment on Bucky's face.

That’s the problem with Bucky Barnes. He’s undeniably handsome, of course, but there’s always… something with him. Even though he seems to want to keep their friendship strictly professional and platonic, the way he looks at her always seems to say the opposite. His gaze always lingers on her for just a moment too long, and despite his demanding work, he always makes time to bring her both lunch and dinner, even if he only has seconds between meetings. 

"I'm too busy right now to eat," she said one night, hunched over her laptop. "I have to prepare for-"

“No,” he replied instantly, cutting her off. “Now. You need to eat," he whispered, his voice gentle as he pushed the food towards her. Her favourite, of course. “I can’t have my best girl out of action.” He always does that. Calls her his favourite, insists that he can’t live without her. Nobody else is told that.

An ex-employee even scornfully called her out for being his favourite once. “It’s just because he thinks you’re pretty. You’re shit at your job, and he’ll see that I’m way more capable than you soon enough.” And he got right in her face, demanding to know if there was something more between them, sneering and mocking her.

In an instant, Bucky was between them, shoving him back, away from her, and protectively shielding her with his body. He was trying to remain professional, but Y/N could sense his simmering rage. “Back. Off.” Bucky hissed. “If you touch her again-”

“So what if I do?” the man sneered. 

“I’ll fucking break your hand. That’s what.” Bucky responded, dragging the man to his office.

Y/N heard little of the dressing-down Bucky inflicted on him, but from the snippets she heard, Bucky was furious. The employee also didn’t last til the end of the day. 

“You alright?” Bucky asked her afterwards, his voice full of concern, and she nodded. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s nothing.” 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

“Bucky, he’s just jealous.”

“He’s an asshole.” he grunted, and she laughed, making his angry expression soften into a smile. “And he’s completely wrong. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends.” Her smile faltered momentarily in disappointment, but she nodded.

“Y-Yeah…” Bucky’s eyebrow raised as he noticed her disappointment, but Y/N hastily claimed she needed to check her emails, turning away from him and hurrying back to her office.

And she’s lost count of the nights they’ve spent together, reviewing meeting notes, or just talking about anything and everything for hours. One night, she fell asleep in her office, hunched over some notes, and awoke to find a warm blanket carefully draped over her. He never admitted to it, of course, but Bucky was the only other person there that night. And when he calls her in the middle of the night, shaken by another nightmare, Y/N is there to listen and calm him down until he feels safe. Because that’s the relationship they have. They’re each other's chosen family, a bond full of unwavering support and unconditional love. 

But considering everything else going on between them, is it really her fault for thinking there may be something more there? 

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you wanted tonight to go." Y/N murmurs.

Tonight, they’re staying over before a conference, something they’ve done countless times before. However, with Y/N's extremely busy schedule leading up to the conference, she had to book the hotel at the last minute. This hotel was the only one within their price range… and it turns out the only available room they have is a double room. When they first found out there was only one bed, Y/N was mortified, and wanted the ground to swallow her whole. 

“Sharing a room with you is not a punishment, Y/N.” Bucky whispers, and her heart skips a beat. She opens her mouth again, and he shakes his head, stopping her. “No buts. And no more apologies from now on, okay?”

“Well, I still can’t let you sleep on the couch when you have an important speech tomorrow.” She points out, and Bucky shrugs indifferently.

“I’ve slept on plenty of couches in my 110 years. It’s fine.” he insists, and Y/N sighs. Soon after they started working together, Bucky revealed his traumatic past to her. And it ignited in her a fierce desire to protect him from that happening to him ever again.

“Absolutely not.” She says, firmly. “I’m not letting you do it.”

“And I’m not letting you, either.” Bucky chuckles.

“So I suppose the only choice left is…”

"...We'll have to share." Bucky finishes for her. “You're sure it’s alright? I just want you to be comfortable.” His concern for her makes her heartbeat increase, and her knees go weak. 

Or perhaps it’s the intoxicating thrill of sharing a bed with the man she’s had a crush on for years, her dreams of what it would be like to wake up next to him finally a tangible reality.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She nods, trying to play it cool even though her heart is beating against her chest so hard she fears it could break through her ribs. To her surprise, Bucky seems much calmer than she is, only deepening her confusion.

Does he really still not see anything between them?

Later that night, as they both finish getting ready for bed, Bucky piles up the pillows in the middle of the bed, creating a soft barrier to separate them both. “Promise you’re alright?” he asks, his voice soft as they both get comfortable. “You want the fan on, or anything?”

“Bucky, it’s fine, honestly.” She smiles. He rolls over onto his side, his intense, icy blue eyes settling on her. He sighs.

“I’ll apologise in advance…in case I have nightmares again. I feel bad enough waking you up with a call, but I’d feel even worse if I woke you up when you’re right beside me.”

“You never have to apologise to me for that.” She smiles softly. “I told you I’m always here for you.”

“You’re too good to me.” he whispers. 

“It’s my job.”

“No, it’s not. You do so much for me, and I don’t deserve you or your kindness.” He smiles over at her like she hung the moon, and as if she’s the most important thing in the world. And Y/N feels a warmth bloom in her chest, spreading throughout her body. 

“Of course you do. You’re a great man, Bucky.” She insists. “And you’re going to keep saving the world.”

“Y/N, I….” he murmurs, so quietly she almost doesn’t hear him. Her heart starts to pound again. Could this be it? Is he going to admit his feelings?

“Yeah?” Bucky’s gaze flickers down, towards her lips, subtly biting his own lip. But then he clears his throat.

“...N-Nothing. Just…thanks.” He gives her a small smile. “It means a lot.”

“Oh…you’re welcome.” Y/N nods with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, pushing down her disappointment. “Goodnight, Bucky.” She says, turning away from him and snuggling under the covers. How much longer can she keep living like this? Wondering if he feels the same for her before she crumbles and just asks him how he feels? …or before she leaves for good?

Bucky keeps a watchful, protective eye over her until she falls asleep. Once he’s sure she’s asleep, he gently adjusts the cover over her, tucking her in and fluffing her pillow. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers softly. “Sorry I’m such an idiot.”

The next morning, sunlight streams through the window and a crack in the curtain, illuminating both the room and Y/N and Bucky in a warm glow. In the night, the pillows set up between them collapsed, so they lay together, their bodies intertwined, and each one holding the other close. Y/N’s head rests on Bucky’s chest, her lips softly parted. His heartbeat is a steady rhythm in her ears, the comforting sound keeping her relaxed. Her eyes flutter open, and she gazes over at Bucky. 

Bucky is still fast asleep. He looks so handsome, serene and at peace. His hair falls in soft curls, and she swears there’s a smile on his lips. She’s so close that she can see all the freckles and body marks dotting his skin, and for a moment, she links them together, creating a constellation. But then, Y/N suddenly realises where she is. Her eyes widen in shock, and her heart stops.

“Oh, fuck.” she whispers. Hearing her whisper, Bucky’s own eyes open, his gaze falling onto her.

“Oh…” he murmurs. “Well.” he chuckles, the sound husky and warm. “Good morning to you, too.” Her heart hammers against her ribs so rapidly that it feels it might break free from her chest, and the comforting warmth of Bucky’s skin turns ice cold. She looks at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, else. “So…you want some breakfast?” 

Out of all the things she thought he would’ve said, that wasn’t one of them. 

“What?!” she scoffs, still in shock, still wondering if he’s joking.

“Well, we need to get ready for the conference, so-”

“Are you serious?! I just woke up in your arms and you’re asking me if I’m hungry?” She demands incredulously, her voice trembling with barely contained anger. Bucky’s brow furrows, blinking in confusion. 

“But-”

“You know what?” she huffs, deciding not to fight this battle right here, right now. “Yeah, I will have some breakfast.” She snaps, pulling herself free from Bucky's grasp, snatching her things and retreating into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her.

Unsurprisingly, breakfast and the conference are just as awkward and tense as the morning, with Y/N and Bucky not saying anything to each other aside from the occasional comment regarding the conference. Behind Y/N's polite facade for the cameras and attendees, her stomach churns, frustration pulsing through her veins.

Bucky walks up to her. “We need to talk.”

“I think you made your thoughts very clear, Congressman.” she responds. 

“Y/N-” Bucky huffs, stopping only so the two of them can plaster on a polite smile for a passing photographer. “Please,” he pleads, his eyes wide with desperation. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes meet his, and she sees the weariness and hope within, prompting a soft sigh to escape her lips. Those damn blue eyes.

“Okay, fine.” she nods. “I think there’s a quiet room somewhere.” Bucky follows her into the room, closing the door behind him. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. “You’ve been acting weird all day.” she scoffs.

“You’re serious? You really don’t know?” Bucky shakes his head, and she rolls her eyes. “You constantly tell me I’m your favourite, saying you can’t live without me, and you keep fucking staring at me during meetings, dinners, and events. And you’re looking at me like I mean something to you, and that you want me, too, but you keep calling it platonic and looking away every time I look back. Which is fine, cause I know you’re a Congressman, and I don’t want to overstep,” she’s rambling now, her voice cracking as everything comes to the surface. She hates it, wanting to show him how angry she is, how he can’t keep playing with her emotions like this. But she can already feel tears stinging at her waterline. “But you keep doing it! So I think, oh, maybe it does mean something, and he just doesn’t want to tell me. Which again, is fine.” she insists.

Bucky hasn’t said anything yet. He’s just staring at her, only intensifying her anger. “T-Then you wake up with me in your arms, and pretend like it's just another morning. You didn’t say anything, just asked if I wanted breakfast! Stop sending me mixed signals, it’s fucking annoying! Are you falling for me, or not?” she asks.

Bucky laughs, smirking. “Am I falling for you?” he repeats. “What do you think?”

“Oh my god, Bucky, can you just say yes or no?!” she demands. “I’ve already spent months asking myself this, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Months?” he raises a brow, the grin never leaving his lips. “I never knew you spent so long wanting me.” 

And with that, Y/N is done with this conversation. “God, just forget it.” she murmurs. However, as she begins to walk away, Bucky softly grabs her wrist, pulling her back slightly. Electricity tingles up her arm, spreading goosebumps all over her skin.

“Uh uh.” he shakes his head, his voice deeper. “I wasn’t finished talking.” Y/N nods, immediately feeling her heart drop to her stomach as a wave of dread floods over her. Oh god, she’s about to be so fucking fired.

“Sorry-”

“Doll.” Bucky leans in closer. “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” she asks, incredulous.

“Quiet.” he whispers, the deep rhythm of his voice reverberating throughout her body. “I’m trying to answer your question, but I can’t do it if you keep running that gorgeous mouth of yours.” Her eyes widen in surprise, and her mouth becomes so dry she can't say another word. Bucky smiles. “Good girl, there we go.”

God, he’s going to be the death of her.

“As I was saying,” Bucky continues. “I’m not ‘falling’ for you.” Seeing her expression falter, he chuckles softly, running one of his human fingers down her jawline before stopping at her chin and gently lifting her face up towards him. His gaze, sharp and unwavering, pierces through her, causing her legs to tremble. Thank god Bucky is basically holding her up. “Because I’ve already fallen for you. Hook, line and fucking sinker. Ever since you came to work for me, that very first day.” 

“But I thought you wanted to keep things professional? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Of course I don’t. I want you, Y/N, and nobody else. God, that first day…” He laughs again, shaking his head. “You were talking to someone, I don’t remember who, or what you were talking about. But you had this smile on your face, so radiant and wide. I can’t even describe how beautiful you looked. And I was having a shitty day, but I just… felt compelled to look up, and then, I saw that smile. And I felt so much better. Y/N, you make me a better person, just by being around me.”

“Bucky, you’re already a good person. You don’t need me.”

“I do, though.” he murmurs. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And god, I love you so damn much. I can’t do this without you.” He runs his free hand through his hair, sighing. “But I’ve got my own issues, and then there’s the whole Congressman thing, and the press and paparazzi are fucking nightmares. I’m a total idiot, you’re right. I shouldn’t have been stringing you along like that, and I regret it so much. But I just… kept quiet, and held back. Because I didn’t want to drag you into this, or assume you might like me back. I’m so sorry, I’ve been acting like an ass, and I completely understand if you don’t want to deal with it. If you want to quit, I’ll write you a glowing reference-”

Now it’s Y/N's turn to interrupt him. Stepping closer, she places her hands on Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him in. “...I want to stay. I want every moment I can get with you, Bucky.”

Bucky’s breath shudders. It’s almost funny, seeing the confident Congressman and superhero so flustered, especially around her. He leans in closer, their faces inches apart and his breath hot on her skin. A moment of silence hangs in the air. Bucky parts his lips, as if to ask if they’re really doing this, really crossing that line.

Because once they do this, there’s truly no going back.

But Y/N doesn’t let him ask it. She closes the distance between them, her lips meeting his in a silent, urgent kiss. Bucky pulls away a moment later. “Oh…sorry.” she murmurs. “I wasn’t thinking, I just, I wanted-”

“I want it too.” Is all Bucky says.

And then he stops holding back.

He returns his lips to hers, their kiss now filled with a deeper hunger and ‌more intense passion. Pushing her against the wall, his hands descend to her waist, intensifying the kiss. Her fingers tangle in his hair, a silent plea for more. Every second feels like a minute, every minute like an hour. All thoughts of the conference fade into nothing. It’s just the two of them… because they’re the only ones who matter. 

But soon, they have to break apart… albeit just to catch their breaths again. Their hearts pound against their ribs, and Bucky chuckles breathlessly, adjusting his tie and shirt. 

“W-Wow…” Y/N gasps.

“I know.” he grins. “Still have any doubt?”

The common room of The New Avengers Tower is a hub of activity and chatter. Yelena and Ava watch a movie, chatting about the plot, whilst Bob, John and Alexei play cards, the sound of a cheer or laugh occasionally filling the air. The door swings open, and Mel walks in, the sharp click of her heels echoing on the floor.

“Bucky,” she smiles, looking over at the super soldier who’s currently slumped on the couch and scrolling through his phone. “Valentina wants to see you in her office immediately, please.”

The room goes quiet. Valentina wanting to see you is never good news. And alone is even worse.

“What is this meeting? Valentina never told me about this?” Alexei frowns.

“Think it’s just for me, Alexei.” Bucky sighs wearily, pushing himself up.

“...And you too, please, Y/N.” Mel interrupts. Immediately, the New Avengers and Bob all turn their heads to stare at the two of them. 

“Why? I’m not an Avenger-”

“You’re our assistant, though. Maybe you did something wrong-” John suggests, his familiar, condescending smirk playing on his lips. Thankfully, Yelena quickly whispers a: 

“Shut the fuck up.” and Y/N shoots her a grateful look.

Valentina’s office is pristine, full of polished marble and velvet. Y/N has always hated it. It’s like she’s just waiting for people to screw up. Any mistake, any spill would be visible, no matter how tiny. Both in this office and in real life.

“Close the door. Please don’t scuff the floors, I just had those put in.” Valentina says, spinning around in her chair to face them. Y/N can’t help but wonder if Valentina knows how much she looks like a supervillain when she does that. Knowing her, she’d probably relish it. Valentina sips from a glass of champagne, her eyes narrowing as the two approach her.

“Hello, Valentina.” Y/N nods. Bucky already looks bored with this whole thing, but murmurs his own greeting. “You wanted to see us?”

“Care to explain this?” Valentina ignores their greeting, and slides an iPad across the desk. The image shows Y/N and Bucky attending a recent gala. The picture captures Y/N, her head thrown back in laughter at something Bucky is saying, and he’s grinning as he looks over at her. Y/N's smile grows as she looks at the picture, warmth spreading in her stomach from the happy memory.

“It’s a picture of Y/N and I from the last gala.” Bucky grunts. 

“Yes, I know that,” Valentina replies with a dismissive tsk. “Mel, you were supposed to- whatever.” With an exasperated huff, she swipes to the next image. “I meant these.”

The screen is full of comments left on the post. Of course, Y/N’s seen most of them, considering her job as an assistant for The New Avengers. 

However, these comments all focus on one specific thing.

User 1: Y/N and Bucky are so cute together. They’d really be a great couple. Reply: Right?! The way he looks at her!!! User 2: Has anyone else noticed how much Bucky, the grumpy ex-assassin, smiles around Y/N??? IT’S SO CUUUUTE!!! User 3: WE WANT Y/N AND BUCKY!!! User 4: Anyone have any ship name ideas? User 5: They’re WAY more interesting than the Thunderbolts, or whatever they’re called now #sorrynotsorry

“Those aren't the only comments. And Mel has informed me that there are TikTok videos and fan accounts dedicated to you, too. It appears people are shipping you both.” Valentina's brow arches as she looks at them both. Bucky furrows his brow, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“Shipping us where?”

“Jesus Christ, how old are you?!" Valentina rubs her temple, irritated. “It means they want you two to be a couple. Mel told me that.” Y/N is about to call out the hypocrisy of her scolding Bucky for his own lack of understanding, but Valentina’s icy glare and Mel’s frantic head shake, warning her to stop, stop her. "Well?" She prompts, raising her brow as she looks at the pair expectantly.

“Well…what?” Bucky asks, his brow furrowed. 

“What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

"Well, I didn’t know so many people see us that way..." Y/N explains. Even though she loves her job, she finds it incredibly jarring to realise how visible she is and how much Valentina and others scrutinise and try to dictate her every move.

“Sorry, why is this a bad thing?” Bucky asks. “They just want us to be together; it’s not like they’re sending us death threats or hate, like usual.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Valentina snaps. “The focus is supposed to be on the New Avengers as a group, not their dating lives. You saw it yourselves; someone said you two are way more interesting than the group! We’ve done so much, and yet the focus is always on you two.” She looks between them both, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Y/N’s heart jumps into her throat. Whenever Valentina is in one of her moods, it’s best to steer clear. And she’s never seen her this frustrated before. “So.” She sips some more champagne, clearing her throat. “I want you two to stay apart from each other.”

“What?” Y/N gasps. “You can’t do that! My job is being an assistant for The New Avengers! It’s my job to be with him all the time!”

“I was going to say you stay away from him, aside from the bare minimum duties of your job, if you’d have let me finish.” Valentina hisses.

“That’s not fair, you can’t punish her for-” Bucky, always the hero, steps in. 

“As your boss, I can and I will.” Valentina counters. “Now, I have to go to a meeting, so you two can talk amongst yourselves. I’m sure we’ll come to an understanding on this.” She smiles, her expression ice cold. “I trust you know the way out.” Y/N and Bucky take their cue to leave, the door slamming shut behind them.

“I can’t believe she’s done this.” Y/N murmurs, still in shock.

“I know.” Bucky hisses. His hand moves as if to comfort her, but he notices the cameras above them, quickly letting it fall back to his side. “Come on. Let’s…talk this out.” he urges, guiding her to another, more secluded room in the compound.

“Are you sure it’s alright in here? That there are no cameras?” Bucky laughs.

“Y/N, I’m an ex-assassin. I know how to spot a camera. This place is a total blackout, we’ll be undetectable.” 

The door clicks shut, and their mouths immediately meet in an intense, passionate kiss. Bucky’s lips kiss down her neck, a playful smirk on his face. “God, you look so gorgeous today.” He whispers, his breath hot against her skin. “It’s so hard to keep my hands off ‌you. You know what you do to me, hm?”

“Watch out you don’t leave any hickeys. Then she really will get pissed at us.” Y/N says, and he laughs again, the sound warm and deep.

“Screw her.”

Y/N and Bucky’s secret relationship started long before that gala. Their relationship began when he joined the Thunderbolts. At first, Y/N found it so romantic and thrilling, that even though Valentina and the others want to know everything about each other, she and Bucky could have this one little thing to themselves, a fuck you to Valentina after all the demands and cruel words she's inflicted on them so far. 

“We have to keep it a secret.” Bucky had said, kissing the top of her head as they laid on her couch on one of the first nights they spent together. “The last thing I want is Valentina interfering in our private lives.” And Y/N agreed. She thought it was a great idea, a moment of rebellion. 

But now, she’s not so sure. Because it sure feels like Valentina is already messing with their private lives. And now Valentina’s aware of how people want them to be together, it could only get worse.

“Bucky, wait.” She says. Immediately, he stops, pulling away from her. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, did I go too far?” His blue eyes sweep over her, checking she’s okay. He’s so caring, so perfect in every way. How could she ever let him go? Stay away from him as if he means nothing, just because of Valentina?

“No, you’re great. You’re perfect, actually.” He raises a brow, taking her hands in his. 

“What’s wrong, gorgeous?” her nickname. She always feels herself melting at that, and at how Bucky immediately knows something is wrong with her without her even having to say she isn’t feeling okay. “Is it because of what Valentina said?” He asks, and she nods.

“I just…she’s going to be more vigilant now, and if she finds out about us-”

“She’s not going to,” Bucky insists, shaking his head. “Sure, maybe we have to spend less time together in public, but this is really no different from how we usually act: being friendly to each other in public, and being together behind closed doors. And besides, we've been doing this for over ‌a year, haven't we?” He lifts her hands, kissing both her knuckles. “I hate it too, but I still get to see you and know you’re mine, and only mine.”

“I guess you’re right.” She murmurs. With a gentle smile, Bucky pecks her forehead. 

“I promise you, everything will be alright.” He whispers, giving her hand a soft squeeze. Y/N nods, squeezing back… but she still doesn’t feel reassured.

A few weeks after Valentina’s demand, The New Avengers are at a press conference. Off to the side, Y/N scans the room, trying not to focus on Bucky for too long, even though it’s impossible to ignore him today. His curly hair is pulled back partway in a man bun, a few loose tendrils slipping out and framing his face. His suit flexes against his muscles and his metal arm, the material clinging to his biceps. 

“God.” she thinks, feeling her throat going dry. “Valentina may be an insufferable bitch who’s interfering with my boyfriend and I’s relationship, but fuck me, she knows how to make him look good.” Y/N almost had a heart attack when she saw him for the first time today, and had to bite down hard on her tongue to compose herself. She feels herself automatically doing it now, as she pictures her and Bucky together, clinging to each other as they kiss, wanting to take things further right then and there. And then Bucky is unbuckling his belt and pulling his trousers down, even though they both know they shouldn’t be doing this….

And even though they had already done exactly that in the bathroom earlier. Fortunately, they’re both well accustomed to quickies in the bathroom and how to remain undetected.

As she scans the room, her eyes land on a member of the press. She’s crossed paths with him a few times. His name’s Tommy, and he’s the entertainment editor for some big gossip magazine. The New Avengers fill their pages a lot.

But that’s mainly because Valentina pays a lot for the privilege.

His eyes land on hers, and he gives her a smile. In response, she gives him a small nod back before going back to checking the room. 

When she looks back, Tommy is still looking at her. Y/N suppresses the urge to grimace. She's met Tommy's type before: smooth-talking sleazeballs, eager to wine and dine you for a story, only to drop you the moment you’re no longer valuable. And Y/N refuses to be his next victim. 

“Hey, Y/N, right?” He smiles, walking over to her as she gathers her notes at the end of the conference.

“I’ve literally met you like five times already, you ass. How do you not know my name?” She thinks, but plasters on a dazzling smile. “Yes, that’s me. So nice to see you again, Tommy.” she says, shaking his hand.

“You haven't changed your mind about that dinner offer yet?” He chuckles, and Y/N shakes her head, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. Because of course he can’t be bothered to remember her name, yet he magically remembers all the gossip about The New Avengers and Valentina she must have.

“As I’ve told you before, if you want an interview, let Valentina know and we can schedule a time. I don’t do solo dinner dates with gossip columnists. That’s just asking for trouble.” She retorts, her tone politely joking, yet her words biting. 

Even with her back turned, she can feel Bucky's intense gaze boring a hole into Tommy. She can also sense the tightness in his jaw and the stiffness of his posture.

Quickly, she glances back to Bucky. Sure enough, he’s trying to mask his anger. If looks could kill, Tommy would be a dead man. Thankfully, nobody seems to have picked up on Bucky’s anger, and Y/N gives him a quick: “Don’t.” look. Bucky doesn’t respond, but gives her a look of his own, one saying they’re definitely going to talk about this later.

“Speaking of, I have to go. Bye.” she says, turning on her heel and walking towards the others.

In the limo back to the tower, Ava chuckles, raising her brow. “What happened with you and that reporter guy, Y/N? He was making eyes at you again.”

“Ach! Yes, it was very distracting. The attention is supposed to be on us!” Alexei says disapprovingly.

“He’s not a reporter, Ava.” Y/N scoffs. “He just wants to stir up trouble and gossip, which he’s not going to get. And nobody could ever steal the attention away from you, Alexei.” Y/N reassures. Bucky still hasn’t taken his eyes off ‌her. 

“Good.” he nods. “Mister Soldier!” Alexei turns his attention to Bucky, clapping him on the shoulder. “You are very quiet, you know, it’s unnerving me a little. What do you think about the conference?”

“We all know what he thinks.” John smirks, his eyes flickering to Y/N, and the girls chuckle. Y/N clears her throat, swallowing hard.

“Shut up, John.” Bucky hisses. Thankfully, before they can say anything else, the limo pulls back up at the tower. Everyone hurries out, eager to relax and be out of the spotlight for a while.

“Wait...What does he think?” Alexei frowns, trailing behind.

Later that evening, as Y/N walks back to her office, Bucky appears from a secluded hallway, pulling her down it. “Jeez, you need to be more subtle with these things.” she jokes. Bucky doesn’t laugh.

“The way that asshole looked at you today. It makes me sick.” he says, his voice deep, and angry. “He looks at you like you’re nothing more than a piece of meat. God, I hate him.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Bucky, you need to be more careful, we both do! I already think John and the girls suspect something is up with us.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not his.” Bucky hisses, kissing her. But instead of kissing back, Y/N pulls away. 

“I want to be yours. In public.” She says, and Bucky frowns.

“But we can’t, remember? If Valentina-”

“Are you even listening to me, Bucky? People are already suspecting us. People we see every day! Maybe…we should work out a way to tell people. Not everyone, just people we trust.”

“And you trust people in this tower?” He raises a brow. “Do you really trust someone like Alexei to keep our secret?”

“I trust Mel! She helped you, remember?” Y/N points out. “And I’ve had enough cocktails and gossip sessions with her, I’m sure she’d keep our secret. Hell, she probably understands us, too!” Seeing the look on Bucky’s face, Y/N sighs. “Bucky, please. I don’t want to live like this forever, wondering if I can hold your hand… if I can go outside with you, on a date, not just a work thing. Can you at least consider it?”

Bucky shakes his head. Seeing the hurt look on her face, Bucky’s eyes widen. “No. Shit, sorry. Not no, because I don’t want to go public with you, because I do.” He rambles, fidgeting with his hair. “Just…n-not yet, at least. I want to show you off, too. So, so badly. But I know what Valentina’s like, we both do. And I can’t lose you, or let her keep us apart.” 

“Even though she already is?” Y/N murmurs. He sighs, softly kissing her forehead.

“I’m sorry, gorgeous. I do want to show you off, fuck, I wanna scream from the rooftops that I’m dating someone as incredible as you, but we just need to find the right time to say it.” He squeezes her hand, kissing her lips just as softly, continuing until he hits just the right spot. “I promise, we’ll go public soon.” he whispers, kissing her again.

Yet… even as she melts into his kiss, deep down, part of Y/N still doesn’t believe him.

Sure enough, the more the weeks go on, the longer Bucky keeps their secret relationship going. And the more Y/N considers cutting her losses and leaving. She loves Bucky, of course she does. She loves him more than anything in the world. But there’s only so many times you can see other couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and saying sweet things to each other in public whilst your own boyfriend keeps telling you he can’t do that with you before you think it’s something that you’re doing.

And their need to keep apart from each other for Valentina isn’t working either. In fact, the fans are clamouring for them even more, causing Valentina to keep driving the wedge further and further between them, like sending Bucky on remote solo missions, or keeping Y/N buried under a mound of paperwork in her office.

And yet, Bucky still isn’t doing anything about it. Not that Y/N is either, but ironically, it seems Valentina is the most invested person in their relationship, even when she’s trying to keep them apart.

It all comes to a head one day when Y/N is picking up coffee. As soon as she enters the coffee shop, she’s immediately aware of all the couples around her. Giggles, hand-holding, gazing into each other's eyes… everything she can’t do with Bucky. Bitterness swirls in her stomach, an acidic, destructive force which she tries to push down, but after so long pushing it down, it’s refusing to stay buried. To take her mind off things, she flicks through the stack of magazines beside the counter whilst she waits for the coffee. But then, a headline catches her eye, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. There, bold and right in her face, are the words:

“The dating life of superhero James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine comments!”

The article is mostly guesswork, implying that Bucky may have something with random women he’s photographed with, whether they’re women he saved or people he met on the street. Most of the article is dedicated to Y/N herself, with a large paragraph and multiple photos describing her and Bucky’s chemistry and potential relationship. But as promised, there’s also a paragraph from Valentina, where she comments on the rumours and seems to imply there may be more to things than meets the eye. Y/N clenches the magazine in a vice-like grip, the bitterness, rage, and hurt building and growing, creating a dangerous Molotov cocktail ready to explode. 

“Can I take this?” she asks the barista, practically through gritted teeth. “...Please?” The barista nods, slightly unnerved by the look of pure rage on Y/N’s face.

Back in the tower, Y/N dumps the coffee in the common room without another word, turning on her heel and storming out without so much as a hello.

“...What the hell’s her problem?” John frowns.

Y/N storms down the hallway, her fists clenched. Mel’s eyes widen as she sees her approaching, noticing the fire in her eyes.

“Y/N, Valentina’s about to leave, can you do this later? She has to-”

“Oh, she’ll make time for me.” Y/N snaps, opening the door and letting it bang against the wall. Valentina peers up from her desk, her brow raised.

“Good morning to you, too.” Y/N slams the magazine down onto the desk, the pages still open on the article.

“What the hell is this? Why wasn’t I consulted on this?”

“Now, come Y/N, you must know this is an inevitable part of celebrity life.” She chuckles condescendingly, only pissing Y/N off more.

“You told us to stay apart, because you didn’t want the press to focus on their personal lives!” she’s shaking now, grinding her teeth to dust. “But you yourself are more than happy to go to… Tommy and give your side?!”

“Well, he called me, said you weren’t giving him anything useful. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Because you-” she hisses, stopping herself before she breaks something. “You told me you wanted to control the narrative and focus only on their missions!”

“Well, what do you expect? I am controlling the narrative.” She smirks. “Don’t be so upset, you have the biggest paragraph, and I made sure you looked good.”

Y/N scoffs. Of course. Of fucking course she’s only thinking about herself. She always is, even at the expense of everyone else. 

And Y/N’s had enough.

“I’m done with this. I quit.” She says. Valentina splutters, choking on her drink, shocked. “Effective immediately.”

“Excuse me? You can’t-”

“I can, and I will.” Y/N retorts.

“I must say, this is a really inconvenient time to quit, especially with the gala coming up this week.” Valentina points out, and Y/N rolls her eyes, no longer concerned about offending her.

“I’ve done most of the work for it, anyway. Like usual.” 

“And you want to let all that work go to waste?” Valentina stammers, clearly grasping at straws to get her to stay. Seeing how sure Y/N is about this, she sighs. “Okay, fine. At least stay till the gala and help run it, please? After that, you’re free to go wherever you want.”

“Fine.” Y/N nods. “And you’ll write me a glowing reference. Deal?”

“...Deal.” Y/N smiles, nodding. She’s glad to see Valentina like this - bending to her every whim for once. 

But as she turns to leave, Valentina can’t help but stab the knife in her back… and twist it for good measure. “And this way, you have time to say goodbye to everyone. Especially Bucky.”

Y/N sighs, not even turning to face her, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing her pain. Even though she can already feel herself about to crumble.

“Eat shit, Valentina.”

Meanwhile, Bucky is in the gym, completely unaware of everything going on. He unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches on the punching bag, sending it flying. He’s focused, absorbed in his own world. That is, however, until he takes a break for some water and finds Yelena standing right behind him.

“Jesus. You always sneak up on people like that?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Fair.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Okay, spill.” Yelena orders.

“I’d rather not,” Bucky responds with a teasing grin, sipping his water. 

“Ha ha.” she says flatly. “I meant about you and Y/N.”

“What about us?”

“Oh, come on, Bucky. You’re really not subtle. It’s obvious, really.” When he ignores her, she rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Did Mel tell you Y/N’s quitting?”

That gets his attention. Bucky jolts, sending his water flying everywhere. “Fuck-wait, w-what did you just say?”

“You heard me. Mel told me earlier. Y/N went to Valentina and said she quit.”

“If I swear, you’re lying to me, Yel-”

“Why the fuck would I lie about that?” Yelena raises a brow. 

“But why would-”

“Maybe it’s because she’s madly in love with you, but you’ve been letting Valentina mess with your relationship and treat the two of you like a doormat?” Bucky doesn’t respond, bolting out of the room in search of Y/N. He feels his entire world collapsing beneath him. His chest constricts, and he blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of it all, or fight back the tears.

He finds Y/N in her office, meticulously packing her things away. “You’re leaving?” He asks, his mind still reeling.

“Yes. I am,” she responds, not even looking at him. “My last night is the gala on Friday.”

“But why?” he asks, stepping closer. “I thought things were good between us, that we were happy.”

“You were.” She answers with a biting remark. She still hasn’t looked at him, even though she's breaking his heart. Pain and anger build within Bucky, the mixture swirling in his gut.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Have you seen this?” she pushes the magazine over to him. Bucky scans the page, his eyes narrowing when he realises what it says.

“Oh my- what the fuck is wrong with her?”

“Yup. God forbid she’s not the one controlling the narrative.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. She still hasn’t looked at him.

“...So you’re leaving because of that? A gossip article?”

“No, Bucky, I’m not leaving just because of that. That,” she spits out, her voice laced with resentment. “Is just the tip of a fucking iceberg.” Bucky’s brow furrows. He’s still hurt - hurt that she’s leaving, hurt that he had to find out from Yelena of all people, hurt that his strong, beautiful girlfriend would be so upset by a fucking gossip tabloid. But most of all, hurt that she still won’t fucking look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve told you multiple times how unhappy I was with all of this.” she retorts.

“I meant that you’re leaving!” he bites back. “You know, not even telling me, or even thinking about how I feel is pretty selfish.” he snaps.

“I’M the one being selfish?!” she scoffs, finally looking at him. Her eyes blaze with a fury and pain he’s never seen before. “I’m selfish because I want to hold hands with you in public? Because I want to tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, regardless of what Valentina says?” she scoffs. “Because I’m fucking tired of people, of you,” she spits, her voice breaking. “Letting Valentina control us?” And finally, Bucky understands. And it breaks his damn heart.

“Y/N, I…” he murmurs. He doesn’t even know what to say.

“I love you, Bucky, and it feels like you never want to show it. Like you love the secret part of our relationship more than you love me.”

“That’s not true, you know it’s not.” He insists, his own voice breaking. He steps closer, reaching out for her.

“Don’t I? Then why won’t you tell me in public? O-Or stand up to Valentina?”

“...It’s not that easy, she’s my boss, and-”

“That’s what I thought.” she sniffles, picking up her box of things and walking to the door.

Bucky wants to stop her. To pull her into his arms and kiss her. To tell her he’s sorry, that he’s being an asshole. Because of course, he loves her. Of course he wants to show her off to the world.

But he just… can’t. 

So, he just lets her go.

Later, Bucky sits alone at the table, his head in his hands as the weight of everything presses down on him. The other New Avengers watch him, not wanting to say anything, or unsure of what to say.

“Stop looking at me like I’m fragile.” he grunts, breaking the silence. “You all know about Y/N and me, and that she quit.”

“And she dumped you.” Ava chimes in. “Because you were being an ass.”

“Thanks.” Bucky huffs, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I was though, you’re right.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Yelena asks. 

“...I just don’t know,” he lets out a resigned sigh. “I love her so much. She’s my whole damn world, and I’ve really screwed up. I’ll see her at the gala on Friday, but god knows if she’ll even want to see me.” But then, he has an idea. “Guys… I need your help.”

That Friday, the gala is in full swing. The room, decorated with expensive chandeliers and opulent floral arrangements, is full of laughter, chatter and music. Y/N stands alone in the corner, sipping ‌her drink. This whole situation with Bucky has really brought to her attention how alone she feels in these places, always on the outside looking in.

Y/N’s eyes drift to the other side of the room, locking eyes with Bucky. Her breath hitches in her throat. He looks so good, dressed to the nines in a sharp, fitted suit, exuding charm and sophistication. And god, she misses him so fucking badly.

He makes his way over to her, giving her a soft smile. “Hi.” Somehow, he looks even better up close. He even smells sophisticated.

“Hey Bucky.”

“You look…” he chuckles softly, breathless. “Fucking incredible.” A faint smile graces her lips, and she even gives him a little twirl.

“Thanks. You look great too.” 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for what happened. I messed up, and you’re right-”

“Well, hello you two.” Valentina says, and Bucky huffs. Valentina walks up to them both, her smile as cold as ice. “Almost time for your speech, Bucky.” she smiles.

“You’re doing a speech?” Y/N’s brow furrows. “Nobody told me-”

“He sure is.” Valentina cuts in, placing a hand on his arm and giving Y/N a look that seems to say ‘I win.’ “And he better go.” Bucky gives Y/N one last look, then walks off. Y/N’s heart sinks.

“Glad to see you came.” Valentina smiles. “Although I’m not sure why you’re surprised nobody told you about Bucky’s speech. You did quit last minute.”

“I said I would come.” Y/N retorts, refusing to take the bait Valentina’s dangling in front of her. If she confronts her here, Valentina can easily twist the narrative against her, and she refuses to let her have any hold over her anymore.

“Sure you don’t want to come back? You planned an excellent party, I must admit. Didn’t realise you had it in you.” She’s a master at that. Of making compliments feel like poison.

“I’m sure.” Valentina opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Bucky clears his throat, and his voice fills the air. 

“Good evening, all. Thank you for coming.” His eyes scan the room again, landing on Y/N and Valentina. “This night wouldn’t be possible without the incredible woman who organised it all,” Valentina’s smile grows, and Y/N rolls her eyes. “My girlfriend, Y/N.” The room goes silent, save for Valentina sputtering on her wine.

“What?!” she demands.

“What?” Y/N gasps.

“You may have seen an article in a magazine a few days ago about my dating life, one Y/N and I were never consulted about. But Valentina was.” His eyes narrow. “And I’ve decided that I’m tired of letting this woman control my life, and coming between Y/N and I.”

The entire room turns to look at them both. Valentina goes bright red, stammering as she tries to form a coherent sentence. Y/N can’t say anything, still in shock. She considers pinching herself to see if she’s dreaming, but can’t even muster the strength to do that, either. “Y/N.” Bucky sighs. “I’m so, so sorry I let Valentina come between us, and didn’t tell the entire world that I love you, like you deserve. So…” he smiles. “I love you, Y/N. So, so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to show you off to the world and do everything with you, too. In public, because I want everyone to know how happy I am. And it’s all because of you. I’ve been such an asshole, and you deserve so much better. And again, I’m so, so sorry. I totally understand if you never want to see me again, or take me back. But will you please consider giving me another chance?”

In response, Y/N walks over to him, pulling him into a kiss. The room descends into chaos, and she registers cameras flashing around them, but she and Bucky don’t care. “Of course I will.” she whispers, pecking his lips. “...I didn’t expect this public, though.” She giggles softly. Bucky smiles. 

“It’s the least you deserve.”

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He kisses her again, and the press go wild. “Now, come on.” He takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

The common room of The New Avengers Tower is a hub of activity and chatter. Yelena and Ava watch a movie, chatting about the plot, whilst Bob, John and Alexei play cards, the sound of a cheer or laugh occasionally filling the air. The door swings open, and Mel walks in, the sharp click of her heels echoing on the floor.

“Bucky,” she smiles, looking over at the super soldier who’s currently slumped on the couch and scrolling through his phone. “Valentina wants to see you in her office immediately, please.”

The room goes quiet. Valentina wanting to see you is never good news. And alone is even worse.

“What is this meeting? Valentina never told me about this?” Alexei frowns.

“Think it’s just for me, Alexei.” Bucky sighs wearily, pushing himself up.

“...And you too, please, Y/N.” Mel interrupts. Immediately, the New Avengers and Bob all turn their heads to stare at the two of them. 

“Why? I’m not an Avenger-”

“You’re our assistant, though. Maybe you did something wrong-” John suggests, his familiar, condescending smirk playing on his lips. Thankfully, Yelena quickly whispers a: 

“Shut the fuck up.” and Y/N shoots her a grateful look.

Valentina’s office is pristine, full of polished marble and velvet. Y/N has always hated it. It’s like she’s just waiting for people to screw up. Any mistake, any spill would be visible, no matter how tiny. Both in this office and in real life.

“Close the door. Please don’t scuff the floors, I just had those put in.” Valentina says, spinning around in her chair to face them. Y/N can’t help but wonder if Valentina knows how much she looks like a supervillain when she does that. Knowing her, she’d probably relish it. Valentina sips from a glass of champagne, her eyes narrowing as the two approach her.

“Hello, Valentina.” Y/N nods. Bucky already looks bored with this whole thing, but murmurs his own greeting. “You wanted to see us?”

“Care to explain this?” Valentina ignores their greeting, and slides an iPad across the desk. The image shows Y/N and Bucky attending a recent gala. The picture captures Y/N, her head thrown back in laughter at something Bucky is saying, and he’s grinning as he looks over at her. Y/N's smile grows as she looks at the picture, warmth spreading in her stomach from the happy memory.

“It’s a picture of Y/N and I from the last gala.” Bucky grunts. 

“Yes, I know that,” Valentina replies with a dismissive tsk. “Mel, you were supposed to- whatever.” With an exasperated huff, she swipes to the next image. “I meant these.”

The screen is full of comments left on the post. Of course, Y/N’s seen most of them, considering her job as an assistant for The New Avengers. 

However, these comments all focus on one specific thing.

User 1: Y/N and Bucky are so cute together. They’d really be a great couple. Reply: Right?! The way he looks at her!!! User 2: Has anyone else noticed how much Bucky, the grumpy ex-assassin, smiles around Y/N??? IT’S SO CUUUUTE!!! User 3: WE WANT Y/N AND BUCKY!!! User 4: Anyone have any ship name ideas? User 5: They’re WAY more interesting than the Thunderbolts, or whatever they’re called now #sorrynotsorry

“Those aren't the only comments. And Mel has informed me that there are TikTok videos and fan accounts dedicated to you, too. It appears people are shipping you both.” Valentina's brow arches as she looks at them both. Bucky furrows his brow, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“Shipping us where?”

“Jesus Christ, how old are you?!" Valentina rubs her temple, irritated. “It means they want you two to be a couple. Mel told me that.” Y/N is about to call out the hypocrisy of her scolding Bucky for his own lack of understanding, but Valentina’s icy glare and Mel’s frantic head shake, warning her to stop, stop her. "Well?" She prompts, raising her brow as she looks at the pair expectantly.

“Well…what?” Bucky asks, his brow furrowed. 

“What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

"Well, I didn’t know so many people see us that way..." Y/N explains. Even though she loves her job, she finds it incredibly jarring to realise how visible she is and how much Valentina and others scrutinise and try to dictate her every move.

“Sorry, why is this a bad thing?” Bucky asks. “They just want us to be together; it’s not like they’re sending us death threats or hate, like usual.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Valentina snaps. “The focus is supposed to be on the New Avengers as a group, not their dating lives. You saw it yourselves; someone said you two are way more interesting than the group! We’ve done so much, and yet the focus is always on you two.” She looks between them both, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Y/N’s heart jumps into her throat. Whenever Valentina is in one of her moods, it’s best to steer clear. And she’s never seen her this frustrated before. “So.” She sips some more champagne, clearing her throat. “I want you two to stay apart from each other.”

“What?” Y/N gasps. “You can’t do that! My job is being an assistant for The New Avengers! It’s my job to be with him all the time!”

“I was going to say you stay away from him, aside from the bare minimum duties of your job, if you’d have let me finish.” Valentina hisses.

“That’s not fair, you can’t punish her for-” Bucky, always the hero, steps in. 

“As your boss, I can and I will.” Valentina counters. “Now, I have to go to a meeting, so you two can talk amongst yourselves. I’m sure we’ll come to an understanding on this.” She smiles, her expression ice cold. “I trust you know the way out.” Y/N and Bucky take their cue to leave, the door slamming shut behind them.

“I can’t believe she’s done this.” Y/N murmurs, still in shock.

“I know.” Bucky hisses. His hand moves as if to comfort her, but he notices the cameras above them, quickly letting it fall back to his side. “Come on. Let’s…talk this out.” he urges, guiding her to another, more secluded room in the compound.

“Are you sure it’s alright in here? That there are no cameras?” Bucky laughs.

“Y/N, I’m an ex-assassin. I know how to spot a camera. This place is a total blackout, we’ll be undetectable.” 

The door clicks shut, and their mouths immediately meet in an intense, passionate kiss. Bucky’s lips kiss down her neck, a playful smirk on his face. “God, you look so gorgeous today.” He whispers, his breath hot against her skin. “It’s so hard to keep my hands off ‌you. You know what you do to me, hm?”

“Watch out you don’t leave any hickeys. Then she really will get pissed at us.” Y/N says, and he laughs again, the sound warm and deep.

“Screw her.”

Y/N and Bucky’s secret relationship started long before that gala. Their relationship began when he joined the Thunderbolts. At first, Y/N found it so romantic and thrilling, that even though Valentina and the others want to know everything about each other, she and Bucky could have this one little thing to themselves, a fuck you to Valentina after all the demands and cruel words she's inflicted on them so far. 

“We have to keep it a secret.” Bucky had said, kissing the top of her head as they laid on her couch on one of the first nights they spent together. “The last thing I want is Valentina interfering in our private lives.” And Y/N agreed. She thought it was a great idea, a moment of rebellion. 

But now, she’s not so sure. Because it sure feels like Valentina is already messing with their private lives. And now Valentina’s aware of how people want them to be together, it could only get worse.

“Bucky, wait.” She says. Immediately, he stops, pulling away from her. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, did I go too far?” His blue eyes sweep over her, checking she’s okay. He’s so caring, so perfect in every way. How could she ever let him go? Stay away from him as if he means nothing, just because of Valentina?

“No, you’re great. You’re perfect, actually.” He raises a brow, taking her hands in his. 

“What’s wrong, gorgeous?” her nickname. She always feels herself melting at that, and at how Bucky immediately knows something is wrong with her without her even having to say she isn’t feeling okay. “Is it because of what Valentina said?” He asks, and she nods.

“I just…she’s going to be more vigilant now, and if she finds out about us-”

“She’s not going to,” Bucky insists, shaking his head. “Sure, maybe we have to spend less time together in public, but this is really no different from how we usually act: being friendly to each other in public, and being together behind closed doors. And besides, we've been doing this for over ‌a year, haven't we?” He lifts her hands, kissing both her knuckles. “I hate it too, but I still get to see you and know you’re mine, and only mine.”

“I guess you’re right.” She murmurs. With a gentle smile, Bucky pecks her forehead. 

“I promise you, everything will be alright.” He whispers, giving her hand a soft squeeze. Y/N nods, squeezing back… but she still doesn’t feel reassured.

A few weeks after Valentina’s demand, The New Avengers are at a press conference. Off to the side, Y/N scans the room, trying not to focus on Bucky for too long, even though it’s impossible to ignore him today. His curly hair is pulled back partway in a man bun, a few loose tendrils slipping out and framing his face. His suit flexes against his muscles and his metal arm, the material clinging to his biceps. 

“God.” she thinks, feeling her throat going dry. “Valentina may be an insufferable bitch who’s interfering with my boyfriend and I’s relationship, but fuck me, she knows how to make him look good.” Y/N almost had a heart attack when she saw him for the first time today, and had to bite down hard on her tongue to compose herself. She feels herself automatically doing it now, as she pictures her and Bucky together, clinging to each other as they kiss, wanting to take things further right then and there. And then Bucky is unbuckling his belt and pulling his trousers down, even though they both know they shouldn’t be doing this….

And even though they had already done exactly that in the bathroom earlier. Fortunately, they’re both well accustomed to quickies in the bathroom and how to remain undetected.

As she scans the room, her eyes land on a member of the press. She’s crossed paths with him a few times. His name’s Tommy, and he’s the entertainment editor for some big gossip magazine. The New Avengers fill their pages a lot.

But that’s mainly because Valentina pays a lot for the privilege.

His eyes land on hers, and he gives her a smile. In response, she gives him a small nod back before going back to checking the room. 

When she looks back, Tommy is still looking at her. Y/N suppresses the urge to grimace. She's met Tommy's type before: smooth-talking sleazeballs, eager to wine and dine you for a story, only to drop you the moment you’re no longer valuable. And Y/N refuses to be his next victim. 

“Hey, Y/N, right?” He smiles, walking over to her as she gathers her notes at the end of the conference.

“I’ve literally met you like five times already, you ass. How do you not know my name?” She thinks, but plasters on a dazzling smile. “Yes, that’s me. So nice to see you again, Tommy.” she says, shaking his hand.

“You haven't changed your mind about that dinner offer yet?” He chuckles, and Y/N shakes her head, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. Because of course he can’t be bothered to remember her name, yet he magically remembers all the gossip about The New Avengers and Valentina she must have.

“As I’ve told you before, if you want an interview, let Valentina know and we can schedule a time. I don’t do solo dinner dates with gossip columnists. That’s just asking for trouble.” She retorts, her tone politely joking, yet her words biting. 

Even with her back turned, she can feel Bucky's intense gaze boring a hole into Tommy. She can also sense the tightness in his jaw and the stiffness of his posture.

Quickly, she glances back to Bucky. Sure enough, he’s trying to mask his anger. If looks could kill, Tommy would be a dead man. Thankfully, nobody seems to have picked up on Bucky’s anger, and Y/N gives him a quick: “Don’t.” look. Bucky doesn’t respond, but gives her a look of his own, one saying they’re definitely going to talk about this later.

“Speaking of, I have to go. Bye.” she says, turning on her heel and walking towards the others.

In the limo back to the tower, Ava chuckles, raising her brow. “What happened with you and that reporter guy, Y/N? He was making eyes at you again.”

“Ach! Yes, it was very distracting. The attention is supposed to be on us!” Alexei says disapprovingly.

“He’s not a reporter, Ava.” Y/N scoffs. “He just wants to stir up trouble and gossip, which he’s not going to get. And nobody could ever steal the attention away from you, Alexei.” Y/N reassures. Bucky still hasn’t taken his eyes off ‌her. 

“Good.” he nods. “Mister Soldier!” Alexei turns his attention to Bucky, clapping him on the shoulder. “You are very quiet, you know, it’s unnerving me a little. What do you think about the conference?”

“We all know what he thinks.” John smirks, his eyes flickering to Y/N, and the girls chuckle. Y/N clears her throat, swallowing hard.

“Shut up, John.” Bucky hisses. Thankfully, before they can say anything else, the limo pulls back up at the tower. Everyone hurries out, eager to relax and be out of the spotlight for a while.

“Wait...What does he think?” Alexei frowns, trailing behind.

Later that evening, as Y/N walks back to her office, Bucky appears from a secluded hallway, pulling her down it. “Jeez, you need to be more subtle with these things.” she jokes. Bucky doesn’t laugh.

“The way that asshole looked at you today. It makes me sick.” he says, his voice deep, and angry. “He looks at you like you’re nothing more than a piece of meat. God, I hate him.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Bucky, you need to be more careful, we both do! I already think John and the girls suspect something is up with us.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not his.” Bucky hisses, kissing her. But instead of kissing back, Y/N pulls away. 

“I want to be yours. In public.” She says, and Bucky frowns.

“But we can’t, remember? If Valentina-”

“Are you even listening to me, Bucky? People are already suspecting us. People we see every day! Maybe…we should work out a way to tell people. Not everyone, just people we trust.”

“And you trust people in this tower?” He raises a brow. “Do you really trust someone like Alexei to keep our secret?”

“I trust Mel! She helped you, remember?” Y/N points out. “And I’ve had enough cocktails and gossip sessions with her, I’m sure she’d keep our secret. Hell, she probably understands us, too!” Seeing the look on Bucky’s face, Y/N sighs. “Bucky, please. I don’t want to live like this forever, wondering if I can hold your hand… if I can go outside with you, on a date, not just a work thing. Can you at least consider it?”

Bucky shakes his head. Seeing the hurt look on her face, Bucky’s eyes widen. “No. Shit, sorry. Not no, because I don’t want to go public with you, because I do.” He rambles, fidgeting with his hair. “Just…n-not yet, at least. I want to show you off, too. So, so badly. But I know what Valentina’s like, we both do. And I can’t lose you, or let her keep us apart.” 

“Even though she already is?” Y/N murmurs. He sighs, softly kissing her forehead.

“I’m sorry, gorgeous. I do want to show you off, fuck, I wanna scream from the rooftops that I’m dating someone as incredible as you, but we just need to find the right time to say it.” He squeezes her hand, kissing her lips just as softly, continuing until he hits just the right spot. “I promise, we’ll go public soon.” he whispers, kissing her again.

Yet… even as she melts into his kiss, deep down, part of Y/N still doesn’t believe him.

Sure enough, the more the weeks go on, the longer Bucky keeps their secret relationship going. And the more Y/N considers cutting her losses and leaving. She loves Bucky, of course she does. She loves him more than anything in the world. But there’s only so many times you can see other couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and saying sweet things to each other in public whilst your own boyfriend keeps telling you he can’t do that with you before you think it’s something that you’re doing.

And their need to keep apart from each other for Valentina isn’t working either. In fact, the fans are clamouring for them even more, causing Valentina to keep driving the wedge further and further between them, like sending Bucky on remote solo missions, or keeping Y/N buried under a mound of paperwork in her office.

And yet, Bucky still isn’t doing anything about it. Not that Y/N is either, but ironically, it seems Valentina is the most invested person in their relationship, even when she’s trying to keep them apart.

It all comes to a head one day when Y/N is picking up coffee. As soon as she enters the coffee shop, she’s immediately aware of all the couples around her. Giggles, hand-holding, gazing into each other's eyes… everything she can’t do with Bucky. Bitterness swirls in her stomach, an acidic, destructive force which she tries to push down, but after so long pushing it down, it’s refusing to stay buried. To take her mind off things, she flicks through the stack of magazines beside the counter whilst she waits for the coffee. But then, a headline catches her eye, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. There, bold and right in her face, are the words:

“The dating life of superhero James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine comments!”

The article is mostly guesswork, implying that Bucky may have something with random women he’s photographed with, whether they’re women he saved or people he met on the street. Most of the article is dedicated to Y/N herself, with a large paragraph and multiple photos describing her and Bucky’s chemistry and potential relationship. But as promised, there’s also a paragraph from Valentina, where she comments on the rumours and seems to imply there may be more to things than meets the eye. Y/N clenches the magazine in a vice-like grip, the bitterness, rage, and hurt building and growing, creating a dangerous Molotov cocktail ready to explode. 

“Can I take this?” she asks the barista, practically through gritted teeth. “...Please?” The barista nods, slightly unnerved by the look of pure rage on Y/N’s face.

Back in the tower, Y/N dumps the coffee in the common room without another word, turning on her heel and storming out without so much as a hello.

“...What the hell’s her problem?” John frowns.

Y/N storms down the hallway, her fists clenched. Mel’s eyes widen as she sees her approaching, noticing the fire in her eyes.

“Y/N, Valentina’s about to leave, can you do this later? She has to-”

“Oh, she’ll make time for me.” Y/N snaps, opening the door and letting it bang against the wall. Valentina peers up from her desk, her brow raised.

“Good morning to you, too.” Y/N slams the magazine down onto the desk, the pages still open on the article.

“What the hell is this? Why wasn’t I consulted on this?”

“Now, come Y/N, you must know this is an inevitable part of celebrity life.” She chuckles condescendingly, only pissing Y/N off more.

“You told us to stay apart, because you didn’t want the press to focus on their personal lives!” she’s shaking now, grinding her teeth to dust. “But you yourself are more than happy to go to… Tommy and give your side?!”

“Well, he called me, said you weren’t giving him anything useful. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Because you-” she hisses, stopping herself before she breaks something. “You told me you wanted to control the narrative and focus only on their missions!”

“Well, what do you expect? I am controlling the narrative.” She smirks. “Don’t be so upset, you have the biggest paragraph, and I made sure you looked good.”

Y/N scoffs. Of course. Of fucking course she’s only thinking about herself. She always is, even at the expense of everyone else. 

And Y/N’s had enough.

“I’m done with this. I quit.” She says. Valentina splutters, choking on her drink, shocked. “Effective immediately.”

“Excuse me? You can’t-”

“I can, and I will.” Y/N retorts.

“I must say, this is a really inconvenient time to quit, especially with the gala coming up this week.” Valentina points out, and Y/N rolls her eyes, no longer concerned about offending her.

“I’ve done most of the work for it, anyway. Like usual.” 

“And you want to let all that work go to waste?” Valentina stammers, clearly grasping at straws to get her to stay. Seeing how sure Y/N is about this, she sighs. “Okay, fine. At least stay till the gala and help run it, please? After that, you’re free to go wherever you want.”

“Fine.” Y/N nods. “And you’ll write me a glowing reference. Deal?”

“...Deal.” Y/N smiles, nodding. She’s glad to see Valentina like this - bending to her every whim for once. 

But as she turns to leave, Valentina can’t help but stab the knife in her back… and twist it for good measure. “And this way, you have time to say goodbye to everyone. Especially Bucky.”

Y/N sighs, not even turning to face her, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing her pain. Even though she can already feel herself about to crumble.

“Eat shit, Valentina.”

Meanwhile, Bucky is in the gym, completely unaware of everything going on. He unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches on the punching bag, sending it flying. He’s focused, absorbed in his own world. That is, however, until he takes a break for some water and finds Yelena standing right behind him.

“Jesus. You always sneak up on people like that?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Fair.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Okay, spill.” Yelena orders.

“I’d rather not,” Bucky responds with a teasing grin, sipping his water. 

“Ha ha.” she says flatly. “I meant about you and Y/N.”

“What about us?”

“Oh, come on, Bucky. You’re really not subtle. It’s obvious, really.” When he ignores her, she rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Did Mel tell you Y/N’s quitting?”

That gets his attention. Bucky jolts, sending his water flying everywhere. “Fuck-wait, w-what did you just say?”

“You heard me. Mel told me earlier. Y/N went to Valentina and said she quit.”

“If I swear, you’re lying to me, Yel-”

“Why the fuck would I lie about that?” Yelena raises a brow. 

“But why would-”

“Maybe it’s because she’s madly in love with you, but you’ve been letting Valentina mess with your relationship and treat the two of you like a doormat?” Bucky doesn’t respond, bolting out of the room in search of Y/N. He feels his entire world collapsing beneath him. His chest constricts, and he blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of it all, or fight back the tears.

He finds Y/N in her office, meticulously packing her things away. “You’re leaving?” He asks, his mind still reeling.

“Yes. I am,” she responds, not even looking at him. “My last night is the gala on Friday.”

“But why?” he asks, stepping closer. “I thought things were good between us, that we were happy.”

“You were.” She answers with a biting remark. She still hasn’t looked at him, even though she's breaking his heart. Pain and anger build within Bucky, the mixture swirling in his gut.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Have you seen this?” she pushes the magazine over to him. Bucky scans the page, his eyes narrowing when he realises what it says.

“Oh my- what the fuck is wrong with her?”

“Yup. God forbid she’s not the one controlling the narrative.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. She still hasn’t looked at him.

“...So you’re leaving because of that? A gossip article?”

“No, Bucky, I’m not leaving just because of that. That,” she spits out, her voice laced with resentment. “Is just the tip of a fucking iceberg.” Bucky’s brow furrows. He’s still hurt - hurt that she’s leaving, hurt that he had to find out from Yelena of all people, hurt that his strong, beautiful girlfriend would be so upset by a fucking gossip tabloid. But most of all, hurt that she still won’t fucking look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve told you multiple times how unhappy I was with all of this.” she retorts.

“I meant that you’re leaving!” he bites back. “You know, not even telling me, or even thinking about how I feel is pretty selfish.” he snaps.

“I’M the one being selfish?!” she scoffs, finally looking at him. Her eyes blaze with a fury and pain he’s never seen before. “I’m selfish because I want to hold hands with you in public? Because I want to tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, regardless of what Valentina says?” she scoffs. “Because I’m fucking tired of people, of you,” she spits, her voice breaking. “Letting Valentina control us?” And finally, Bucky understands. And it breaks his damn heart.

“Y/N, I…” he murmurs. He doesn’t even know what to say.

“I love you, Bucky, and it feels like you never want to show it. Like you love the secret part of our relationship more than you love me.”

“That’s not true, you know it’s not.” He insists, his own voice breaking. He steps closer, reaching out for her.

“Don’t I? Then why won’t you tell me in public? O-Or stand up to Valentina?”

“...It’s not that easy, she’s my boss, and-”

“That’s what I thought.” she sniffles, picking up her box of things and walking to the door.

Bucky wants to stop her. To pull her into his arms and kiss her. To tell her he’s sorry, that he’s being an asshole. Because of course, he loves her. Of course he wants to show her off to the world.

But he just… can’t. 

So, he just lets her go.

Later, Bucky sits alone at the table, his head in his hands as the weight of everything presses down on him. The other New Avengers watch him, not wanting to say anything, or unsure of what to say.

“Stop looking at me like I’m fragile.” he grunts, breaking the silence. “You all know about Y/N and me, and that she quit.”

“And she dumped you.” Ava chimes in. “Because you were being an ass.”

“Thanks.” Bucky huffs, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I was though, you’re right.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Yelena asks. 

“...I just don’t know,” he lets out a resigned sigh. “I love her so much. She’s my whole damn world, and I’ve really screwed up. I’ll see her at the gala on Friday, but god knows if she’ll even want to see me.” But then, he has an idea. “Guys… I need your help.”

That Friday, the gala is in full swing. The room, decorated with expensive chandeliers and opulent floral arrangements, is full of laughter, chatter and music. Y/N stands alone in the corner, sipping ‌her drink. This whole situation with Bucky has really brought to her attention how alone she feels in these places, always on the outside looking in.

Y/N’s eyes drift to the other side of the room, locking eyes with Bucky. Her breath hitches in her throat. He looks so good, dressed to the nines in a sharp, fitted suit, exuding charm and sophistication. And god, she misses him so fucking badly.

He makes his way over to her, giving her a soft smile. “Hi.” Somehow, he looks even better up close. He even smells sophisticated.

“Hey Bucky.”

“You look…” he chuckles softly, breathless. “Fucking incredible.” A faint smile graces her lips, and she even gives him a little twirl.

“Thanks. You look great too.” 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for what happened. I messed up, and you’re right-”

“Well, hello you two.” Valentina says, and Bucky huffs. Valentina walks up to them both, her smile as cold as ice. “Almost time for your speech, Bucky.” she smiles.

“You’re doing a speech?” Y/N’s brow furrows. “Nobody told me-”

“He sure is.” Valentina cuts in, placing a hand on his arm and giving Y/N a look that seems to say ‘I win.’ “And he better go.” Bucky gives Y/N one last look, then walks off. Y/N’s heart sinks.

“Glad to see you came.” Valentina smiles. “Although I’m not sure why you’re surprised nobody told you about Bucky’s speech. You did quit last minute.”

“I said I would come.” Y/N retorts, refusing to take the bait Valentina’s dangling in front of her. If she confronts her here, Valentina can easily twist the narrative against her, and she refuses to let her have any hold over her anymore.

“Sure you don’t want to come back? You planned an excellent party, I must admit. Didn’t realise you had it in you.” She’s a master at that. Of making compliments feel like poison.

“I’m sure.” Valentina opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Bucky clears his throat, and his voice fills the air. 

“Good evening, all. Thank you for coming.” His eyes scan the room again, landing on Y/N and Valentina. “This night wouldn’t be possible without the incredible woman who organised it all,” Valentina’s smile grows, and Y/N rolls her eyes. “My girlfriend, Y/N.” The room goes silent, save for Valentina sputtering on her wine.

“What?!” she demands.

“What?” Y/N gasps.

“You may have seen an article in a magazine a few days ago about my dating life, one Y/N and I were never consulted about. But Valentina was.” His eyes narrow. “And I’ve decided that I’m tired of letting this woman control my life, and coming between Y/N and I.”

The entire room turns to look at them both. Valentina goes bright red, stammering as she tries to form a coherent sentence. Y/N can’t say anything, still in shock. She considers pinching herself to see if she’s dreaming, but can’t even muster the strength to do that, either. “Y/N.” Bucky sighs. “I’m so, so sorry I let Valentina come between us, and didn’t tell the entire world that I love you, like you deserve. So…” he smiles. “I love you, Y/N. So, so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to show you off to the world and do everything with you, too. In public, because I want everyone to know how happy I am. And it’s all because of you. I’ve been such an asshole, and you deserve so much better. And again, I’m so, so sorry. I totally understand if you never want to see me again, or take me back. But will you please consider giving me another chance?”

In response, Y/N walks over to him, pulling him into a kiss. The room descends into chaos, and she registers cameras flashing around them, but she and Bucky don’t care. “Of course I will.” she whispers, pecking his lips. “...I didn’t expect this public, though.” She giggles softly. Bucky smiles. 

“It’s the least you deserve.”

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He kisses her again, and the press go wild. “Now, come on.” He takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

The common room of The New Avengers Tower is a hub of activity and chatter. Yelena and Ava watch a movie, chatting about the plot, whilst Bob, John and Alexei play cards, the sound of a cheer or laugh occasionally filling the air. The door swings open, and Mel walks in, the sharp click of her heels echoing on the floor.

“Bucky,” she smiles, looking over at the super soldier who’s currently slumped on the couch and scrolling through his phone. “Valentina wants to see you in her office immediately, please.”

The room goes quiet. Valentina wanting to see you is never good news. And alone is even worse.

“What is this meeting? Valentina never told me about this?” Alexei frowns.

“Think it’s just for me, Alexei.” Bucky sighs wearily, pushing himself up.

“...And you too, please, Y/N.” Mel interrupts. Immediately, the New Avengers and Bob all turn their heads to stare at the two of them. 

“Why? I’m not an Avenger-”

“You’re our assistant, though. Maybe you did something wrong-” John suggests, his familiar, condescending smirk playing on his lips. Thankfully, Yelena quickly whispers a: 

“Shut the fuck up.” and Y/N shoots her a grateful look.

Valentina’s office is pristine, full of polished marble and velvet. Y/N has always hated it. It’s like she’s just waiting for people to screw up. Any mistake, any spill would be visible, no matter how tiny. Both in this office and in real life.

“Close the door. Please don’t scuff the floors, I just had those put in.” Valentina says, spinning around in her chair to face them. Y/N can’t help but wonder if Valentina knows how much she looks like a supervillain when she does that. Knowing her, she’d probably relish it. Valentina sips from a glass of champagne, her eyes narrowing as the two approach her.

“Hello, Valentina.” Y/N nods. Bucky already looks bored with this whole thing, but murmurs his own greeting. “You wanted to see us?”

“Care to explain this?” Valentina ignores their greeting, and slides an iPad across the desk. The image shows Y/N and Bucky attending a recent gala. The picture captures Y/N, her head thrown back in laughter at something Bucky is saying, and he’s grinning as he looks over at her. Y/N's smile grows as she looks at the picture, warmth spreading in her stomach from the happy memory.

“It’s a picture of Y/N and I from the last gala.” Bucky grunts. 

“Yes, I know that,” Valentina replies with a dismissive tsk. “Mel, you were supposed to- whatever.” With an exasperated huff, she swipes to the next image. “I meant these.”

The screen is full of comments left on the post. Of course, Y/N’s seen most of them, considering her job as an assistant for The New Avengers. 

However, these comments all focus on one specific thing.

User 1: Y/N and Bucky are so cute together. They’d really be a great couple. Reply: Right?! The way he looks at her!!! User 2: Has anyone else noticed how much Bucky, the grumpy ex-assassin, smiles around Y/N??? IT’S SO CUUUUTE!!! User 3: WE WANT Y/N AND BUCKY!!! User 4: Anyone have any ship name ideas? User 5: They’re WAY more interesting than the Thunderbolts, or whatever they’re called now #sorrynotsorry

“Those aren't the only comments. And Mel has informed me that there are TikTok videos and fan accounts dedicated to you, too. It appears people are shipping you both.” Valentina's brow arches as she looks at them both. Bucky furrows his brow, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“Shipping us where?”

“Jesus Christ, how old are you?!" Valentina rubs her temple, irritated. “It means they want you two to be a couple. Mel told me that.” Y/N is about to call out the hypocrisy of her scolding Bucky for his own lack of understanding, but Valentina’s icy glare and Mel’s frantic head shake, warning her to stop, stop her. "Well?" She prompts, raising her brow as she looks at the pair expectantly.

“Well…what?” Bucky asks, his brow furrowed. 

“What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

"Well, I didn’t know so many people see us that way..." Y/N explains. Even though she loves her job, she finds it incredibly jarring to realise how visible she is and how much Valentina and others scrutinise and try to dictate her every move.

“Sorry, why is this a bad thing?” Bucky asks. “They just want us to be together; it’s not like they’re sending us death threats or hate, like usual.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Valentina snaps. “The focus is supposed to be on the New Avengers as a group, not their dating lives. You saw it yourselves; someone said you two are way more interesting than the group! We’ve done so much, and yet the focus is always on you two.” She looks between them both, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Y/N’s heart jumps into her throat. Whenever Valentina is in one of her moods, it’s best to steer clear. And she’s never seen her this frustrated before. “So.” She sips some more champagne, clearing her throat. “I want you two to stay apart from each other.”

“What?” Y/N gasps. “You can’t do that! My job is being an assistant for The New Avengers! It’s my job to be with him all the time!”

“I was going to say you stay away from him, aside from the bare minimum duties of your job, if you’d have let me finish.” Valentina hisses.

“That’s not fair, you can’t punish her for-” Bucky, always the hero, steps in. 

“As your boss, I can and I will.” Valentina counters. “Now, I have to go to a meeting, so you two can talk amongst yourselves. I’m sure we’ll come to an understanding on this.” She smiles, her expression ice cold. “I trust you know the way out.” Y/N and Bucky take their cue to leave, the door slamming shut behind them.

“I can’t believe she’s done this.” Y/N murmurs, still in shock.

“I know.” Bucky hisses. His hand moves as if to comfort her, but he notices the cameras above them, quickly letting it fall back to his side. “Come on. Let’s…talk this out.” he urges, guiding her to another, more secluded room in the compound.

“Are you sure it’s alright in here? That there are no cameras?” Bucky laughs.

“Y/N, I’m an ex-assassin. I know how to spot a camera. This place is a total blackout, we’ll be undetectable.” 

The door clicks shut, and their mouths immediately meet in an intense, passionate kiss. Bucky’s lips kiss down her neck, a playful smirk on his face. “God, you look so gorgeous today.” He whispers, his breath hot against her skin. “It’s so hard to keep my hands off ‌you. You know what you do to me, hm?”

“Watch out you don’t leave any hickeys. Then she really will get pissed at us.” Y/N says, and he laughs again, the sound warm and deep.

“Screw her.”

Y/N and Bucky’s secret relationship started long before that gala. Their relationship began when he joined the Thunderbolts. At first, Y/N found it so romantic and thrilling, that even though Valentina and the others want to know everything about each other, she and Bucky could have this one little thing to themselves, a fuck you to Valentina after all the demands and cruel words she's inflicted on them so far. 

“We have to keep it a secret.” Bucky had said, kissing the top of her head as they laid on her couch on one of the first nights they spent together. “The last thing I want is Valentina interfering in our private lives.” And Y/N agreed. She thought it was a great idea, a moment of rebellion. 

But now, she’s not so sure. Because it sure feels like Valentina is already messing with their private lives. And now Valentina’s aware of how people want them to be together, it could only get worse.

“Bucky, wait.” She says. Immediately, he stops, pulling away from her. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, did I go too far?” His blue eyes sweep over her, checking she’s okay. He’s so caring, so perfect in every way. How could she ever let him go? Stay away from him as if he means nothing, just because of Valentina?

“No, you’re great. You’re perfect, actually.” He raises a brow, taking her hands in his. 

“What’s wrong, gorgeous?” her nickname. She always feels herself melting at that, and at how Bucky immediately knows something is wrong with her without her even having to say she isn’t feeling okay. “Is it because of what Valentina said?” He asks, and she nods.

“I just…she’s going to be more vigilant now, and if she finds out about us-”

“She’s not going to,” Bucky insists, shaking his head. “Sure, maybe we have to spend less time together in public, but this is really no different from how we usually act: being friendly to each other in public, and being together behind closed doors. And besides, we've been doing this for over ‌a year, haven't we?” He lifts her hands, kissing both her knuckles. “I hate it too, but I still get to see you and know you’re mine, and only mine.”

“I guess you’re right.” She murmurs. With a gentle smile, Bucky pecks her forehead. 

“I promise you, everything will be alright.” He whispers, giving her hand a soft squeeze. Y/N nods, squeezing back… but she still doesn’t feel reassured.

A few weeks after Valentina’s demand, The New Avengers are at a press conference. Off to the side, Y/N scans the room, trying not to focus on Bucky for too long, even though it’s impossible to ignore him today. His curly hair is pulled back partway in a man bun, a few loose tendrils slipping out and framing his face. His suit flexes against his muscles and his metal arm, the material clinging to his biceps. 

“God.” she thinks, feeling her throat going dry. “Valentina may be an insufferable bitch who’s interfering with my boyfriend and I’s relationship, but fuck me, she knows how to make him look good.” Y/N almost had a heart attack when she saw him for the first time today, and had to bite down hard on her tongue to compose herself. She feels herself automatically doing it now, as she pictures her and Bucky together, clinging to each other as they kiss, wanting to take things further right then and there. And then Bucky is unbuckling his belt and pulling his trousers down, even though they both know they shouldn’t be doing this….

And even though they had already done exactly that in the bathroom earlier. Fortunately, they’re both well accustomed to quickies in the bathroom and how to remain undetected.

As she scans the room, her eyes land on a member of the press. She’s crossed paths with him a few times. His name’s Tommy, and he’s the entertainment editor for some big gossip magazine. The New Avengers fill their pages a lot.

But that’s mainly because Valentina pays a lot for the privilege.

His eyes land on hers, and he gives her a smile. In response, she gives him a small nod back before going back to checking the room. 

When she looks back, Tommy is still looking at her. Y/N suppresses the urge to grimace. She's met Tommy's type before: smooth-talking sleazeballs, eager to wine and dine you for a story, only to drop you the moment you’re no longer valuable. And Y/N refuses to be his next victim. 

“Hey, Y/N, right?” He smiles, walking over to her as she gathers her notes at the end of the conference.

“I’ve literally met you like five times already, you ass. How do you not know my name?” She thinks, but plasters on a dazzling smile. “Yes, that’s me. So nice to see you again, Tommy.” she says, shaking his hand.

“You haven't changed your mind about that dinner offer yet?” He chuckles, and Y/N shakes her head, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. Because of course he can’t be bothered to remember her name, yet he magically remembers all the gossip about The New Avengers and Valentina she must have.

“As I’ve told you before, if you want an interview, let Valentina know and we can schedule a time. I don’t do solo dinner dates with gossip columnists. That’s just asking for trouble.” She retorts, her tone politely joking, yet her words biting. 

Even with her back turned, she can feel Bucky's intense gaze boring a hole into Tommy. She can also sense the tightness in his jaw and the stiffness of his posture.

Quickly, she glances back to Bucky. Sure enough, he’s trying to mask his anger. If looks could kill, Tommy would be a dead man. Thankfully, nobody seems to have picked up on Bucky’s anger, and Y/N gives him a quick: “Don’t.” look. Bucky doesn’t respond, but gives her a look of his own, one saying they’re definitely going to talk about this later.

“Speaking of, I have to go. Bye.” she says, turning on her heel and walking towards the others.

In the limo back to the tower, Ava chuckles, raising her brow. “What happened with you and that reporter guy, Y/N? He was making eyes at you again.”

“Ach! Yes, it was very distracting. The attention is supposed to be on us!” Alexei says disapprovingly.

“He’s not a reporter, Ava.” Y/N scoffs. “He just wants to stir up trouble and gossip, which he’s not going to get. And nobody could ever steal the attention away from you, Alexei.” Y/N reassures. Bucky still hasn’t taken his eyes off ‌her. 

“Good.” he nods. “Mister Soldier!” Alexei turns his attention to Bucky, clapping him on the shoulder. “You are very quiet, you know, it’s unnerving me a little. What do you think about the conference?”

“We all know what he thinks.” John smirks, his eyes flickering to Y/N, and the girls chuckle. Y/N clears her throat, swallowing hard.

“Shut up, John.” Bucky hisses. Thankfully, before they can say anything else, the limo pulls back up at the tower. Everyone hurries out, eager to relax and be out of the spotlight for a while.

“Wait...What does he think?” Alexei frowns, trailing behind.

Later that evening, as Y/N walks back to her office, Bucky appears from a secluded hallway, pulling her down it. “Jeez, you need to be more subtle with these things.” she jokes. Bucky doesn’t laugh.

“The way that asshole looked at you today. It makes me sick.” he says, his voice deep, and angry. “He looks at you like you’re nothing more than a piece of meat. God, I hate him.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Bucky, you need to be more careful, we both do! I already think John and the girls suspect something is up with us.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not his.” Bucky hisses, kissing her. But instead of kissing back, Y/N pulls away. 

“I want to be yours. In public.” She says, and Bucky frowns.

“But we can’t, remember? If Valentina-”

“Are you even listening to me, Bucky? People are already suspecting us. People we see every day! Maybe…we should work out a way to tell people. Not everyone, just people we trust.”

“And you trust people in this tower?” He raises a brow. “Do you really trust someone like Alexei to keep our secret?”

“I trust Mel! She helped you, remember?” Y/N points out. “And I’ve had enough cocktails and gossip sessions with her, I’m sure she’d keep our secret. Hell, she probably understands us, too!” Seeing the look on Bucky’s face, Y/N sighs. “Bucky, please. I don’t want to live like this forever, wondering if I can hold your hand… if I can go outside with you, on a date, not just a work thing. Can you at least consider it?”

Bucky shakes his head. Seeing the hurt look on her face, Bucky’s eyes widen. “No. Shit, sorry. Not no, because I don’t want to go public with you, because I do.” He rambles, fidgeting with his hair. “Just…n-not yet, at least. I want to show you off, too. So, so badly. But I know what Valentina’s like, we both do. And I can’t lose you, or let her keep us apart.” 

“Even though she already is?” Y/N murmurs. He sighs, softly kissing her forehead.

“I’m sorry, gorgeous. I do want to show you off, fuck, I wanna scream from the rooftops that I’m dating someone as incredible as you, but we just need to find the right time to say it.” He squeezes her hand, kissing her lips just as softly, continuing until he hits just the right spot. “I promise, we’ll go public soon.” he whispers, kissing her again.

Yet… even as she melts into his kiss, deep down, part of Y/N still doesn’t believe him.

Sure enough, the more the weeks go on, the longer Bucky keeps their secret relationship going. And the more Y/N considers cutting her losses and leaving. She loves Bucky, of course she does. She loves him more than anything in the world. But there’s only so many times you can see other couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and saying sweet things to each other in public whilst your own boyfriend keeps telling you he can’t do that with you before you think it’s something that you’re doing.

And their need to keep apart from each other for Valentina isn’t working either. In fact, the fans are clamouring for them even more, causing Valentina to keep driving the wedge further and further between them, like sending Bucky on remote solo missions, or keeping Y/N buried under a mound of paperwork in her office.

And yet, Bucky still isn’t doing anything about it. Not that Y/N is either, but ironically, it seems Valentina is the most invested person in their relationship, even when she’s trying to keep them apart.

It all comes to a head one day when Y/N is picking up coffee. As soon as she enters the coffee shop, she’s immediately aware of all the couples around her. Giggles, hand-holding, gazing into each other's eyes… everything she can’t do with Bucky. Bitterness swirls in her stomach, an acidic, destructive force which she tries to push down, but after so long pushing it down, it’s refusing to stay buried. To take her mind off things, she flicks through the stack of magazines beside the counter whilst she waits for the coffee. But then, a headline catches her eye, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. There, bold and right in her face, are the words:

“The dating life of superhero James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine comments!”

The article is mostly guesswork, implying that Bucky may have something with random women he’s photographed with, whether they’re women he saved or people he met on the street. Most of the article is dedicated to Y/N herself, with a large paragraph and multiple photos describing her and Bucky’s chemistry and potential relationship. But as promised, there’s also a paragraph from Valentina, where she comments on the rumours and seems to imply there may be more to things than meets the eye. Y/N clenches the magazine in a vice-like grip, the bitterness, rage, and hurt building and growing, creating a dangerous Molotov cocktail ready to explode. 

“Can I take this?” she asks the barista, practically through gritted teeth. “...Please?” The barista nods, slightly unnerved by the look of pure rage on Y/N’s face.

Back in the tower, Y/N dumps the coffee in the common room without another word, turning on her heel and storming out without so much as a hello.

“...What the hell’s her problem?” John frowns.

Y/N storms down the hallway, her fists clenched. Mel’s eyes widen as she sees her approaching, noticing the fire in her eyes.

“Y/N, Valentina’s about to leave, can you do this later? She has to-”

“Oh, she’ll make time for me.” Y/N snaps, opening the door and letting it bang against the wall. Valentina peers up from her desk, her brow raised.

“Good morning to you, too.” Y/N slams the magazine down onto the desk, the pages still open on the article.

“What the hell is this? Why wasn’t I consulted on this?”

“Now, come Y/N, you must know this is an inevitable part of celebrity life.” She chuckles condescendingly, only pissing Y/N off more.

“You told us to stay apart, because you didn’t want the press to focus on their personal lives!” she’s shaking now, grinding her teeth to dust. “But you yourself are more than happy to go to… Tommy and give your side?!”

“Well, he called me, said you weren’t giving him anything useful. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Because you-” she hisses, stopping herself before she breaks something. “You told me you wanted to control the narrative and focus only on their missions!”

“Well, what do you expect? I am controlling the narrative.” She smirks. “Don’t be so upset, you have the biggest paragraph, and I made sure you looked good.”

Y/N scoffs. Of course. Of fucking course she’s only thinking about herself. She always is, even at the expense of everyone else. 

And Y/N’s had enough.

“I’m done with this. I quit.” She says. Valentina splutters, choking on her drink, shocked. “Effective immediately.”

“Excuse me? You can’t-”

“I can, and I will.” Y/N retorts.

“I must say, this is a really inconvenient time to quit, especially with the gala coming up this week.” Valentina points out, and Y/N rolls her eyes, no longer concerned about offending her.

“I’ve done most of the work for it, anyway. Like usual.” 

“And you want to let all that work go to waste?” Valentina stammers, clearly grasping at straws to get her to stay. Seeing how sure Y/N is about this, she sighs. “Okay, fine. At least stay till the gala and help run it, please? After that, you’re free to go wherever you want.”

“Fine.” Y/N nods. “And you’ll write me a glowing reference. Deal?”

“...Deal.” Y/N smiles, nodding. She’s glad to see Valentina like this - bending to her every whim for once. 

But as she turns to leave, Valentina can’t help but stab the knife in her back… and twist it for good measure. “And this way, you have time to say goodbye to everyone. Especially Bucky.”

Y/N sighs, not even turning to face her, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing her pain. Even though she can already feel herself about to crumble.

“Eat shit, Valentina.”

Meanwhile, Bucky is in the gym, completely unaware of everything going on. He unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches on the punching bag, sending it flying. He’s focused, absorbed in his own world. That is, however, until he takes a break for some water and finds Yelena standing right behind him.

“Jesus. You always sneak up on people like that?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Fair.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Okay, spill.” Yelena orders.

“I’d rather not,” Bucky responds with a teasing grin, sipping his water. 

“Ha ha.” she says flatly. “I meant about you and Y/N.”

“What about us?”

“Oh, come on, Bucky. You’re really not subtle. It’s obvious, really.” When he ignores her, she rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Did Mel tell you Y/N’s quitting?”

That gets his attention. Bucky jolts, sending his water flying everywhere. “Fuck-wait, w-what did you just say?”

“You heard me. Mel told me earlier. Y/N went to Valentina and said she quit.”

“If I swear, you’re lying to me, Yel-”

“Why the fuck would I lie about that?” Yelena raises a brow. 

“But why would-”

“Maybe it’s because she’s madly in love with you, but you’ve been letting Valentina mess with your relationship and treat the two of you like a doormat?” Bucky doesn’t respond, bolting out of the room in search of Y/N. He feels his entire world collapsing beneath him. His chest constricts, and he blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of it all, or fight back the tears.

He finds Y/N in her office, meticulously packing her things away. “You’re leaving?” He asks, his mind still reeling.

“Yes. I am,” she responds, not even looking at him. “My last night is the gala on Friday.”

“But why?” he asks, stepping closer. “I thought things were good between us, that we were happy.”

“You were.” She answers with a biting remark. She still hasn’t looked at him, even though she's breaking his heart. Pain and anger build within Bucky, the mixture swirling in his gut.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Have you seen this?” she pushes the magazine over to him. Bucky scans the page, his eyes narrowing when he realises what it says.

“Oh my- what the fuck is wrong with her?”

“Yup. God forbid she’s not the one controlling the narrative.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. She still hasn’t looked at him.

“...So you’re leaving because of that? A gossip article?”

“No, Bucky, I’m not leaving just because of that. That,” she spits out, her voice laced with resentment. “Is just the tip of a fucking iceberg.” Bucky’s brow furrows. He’s still hurt - hurt that she’s leaving, hurt that he had to find out from Yelena of all people, hurt that his strong, beautiful girlfriend would be so upset by a fucking gossip tabloid. But most of all, hurt that she still won’t fucking look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve told you multiple times how unhappy I was with all of this.” she retorts.

“I meant that you’re leaving!” he bites back. “You know, not even telling me, or even thinking about how I feel is pretty selfish.” he snaps.

“I’M the one being selfish?!” she scoffs, finally looking at him. Her eyes blaze with a fury and pain he’s never seen before. “I’m selfish because I want to hold hands with you in public? Because I want to tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, regardless of what Valentina says?” she scoffs. “Because I’m fucking tired of people, of you,” she spits, her voice breaking. “Letting Valentina control us?” And finally, Bucky understands. And it breaks his damn heart.

“Y/N, I…” he murmurs. He doesn’t even know what to say.

“I love you, Bucky, and it feels like you never want to show it. Like you love the secret part of our relationship more than you love me.”

“That’s not true, you know it’s not.” He insists, his own voice breaking. He steps closer, reaching out for her.

“Don’t I? Then why won’t you tell me in public? O-Or stand up to Valentina?”

“...It’s not that easy, she’s my boss, and-”

“That’s what I thought.” she sniffles, picking up her box of things and walking to the door.

Bucky wants to stop her. To pull her into his arms and kiss her. To tell her he’s sorry, that he’s being an asshole. Because of course, he loves her. Of course he wants to show her off to the world.

But he just… can’t. 

So, he just lets her go.

Later, Bucky sits alone at the table, his head in his hands as the weight of everything presses down on him. The other New Avengers watch him, not wanting to say anything, or unsure of what to say.

“Stop looking at me like I’m fragile.” he grunts, breaking the silence. “You all know about Y/N and me, and that she quit.”

“And she dumped you.” Ava chimes in. “Because you were being an ass.”

“Thanks.” Bucky huffs, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I was though, you’re right.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Yelena asks. 

“...I just don’t know,” he lets out a resigned sigh. “I love her so much. She’s my whole damn world, and I’ve really screwed up. I’ll see her at the gala on Friday, but god knows if she’ll even want to see me.” But then, he has an idea. “Guys… I need your help.”

That Friday, the gala is in full swing. The room, decorated with expensive chandeliers and opulent floral arrangements, is full of laughter, chatter and music. Y/N stands alone in the corner, sipping ‌her drink. This whole situation with Bucky has really brought to her attention how alone she feels in these places, always on the outside looking in.

Y/N’s eyes drift to the other side of the room, locking eyes with Bucky. Her breath hitches in her throat. He looks so good, dressed to the nines in a sharp, fitted suit, exuding charm and sophistication. And god, she misses him so fucking badly.

He makes his way over to her, giving her a soft smile. “Hi.” Somehow, he looks even better up close. He even smells sophisticated.

“Hey Bucky.”

“You look…” he chuckles softly, breathless. “Fucking incredible.” A faint smile graces her lips, and she even gives him a little twirl.

“Thanks. You look great too.” 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for what happened. I messed up, and you’re right-”

“Well, hello you two.” Valentina says, and Bucky huffs. Valentina walks up to them both, her smile as cold as ice. “Almost time for your speech, Bucky.” she smiles.

“You’re doing a speech?” Y/N’s brow furrows. “Nobody told me-”

“He sure is.” Valentina cuts in, placing a hand on his arm and giving Y/N a look that seems to say ‘I win.’ “And he better go.” Bucky gives Y/N one last look, then walks off. Y/N’s heart sinks.

“Glad to see you came.” Valentina smiles. “Although I’m not sure why you’re surprised nobody told you about Bucky’s speech. You did quit last minute.”

“I said I would come.” Y/N retorts, refusing to take the bait Valentina’s dangling in front of her. If she confronts her here, Valentina can easily twist the narrative against her, and she refuses to let her have any hold over her anymore.

“Sure you don’t want to come back? You planned an excellent party, I must admit. Didn’t realise you had it in you.” She’s a master at that. Of making compliments feel like poison.

“I’m sure.” Valentina opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Bucky clears his throat, and his voice fills the air. 

“Good evening, all. Thank you for coming.” His eyes scan the room again, landing on Y/N and Valentina. “This night wouldn’t be possible without the incredible woman who organised it all,” Valentina’s smile grows, and Y/N rolls her eyes. “My girlfriend, Y/N.” The room goes silent, save for Valentina sputtering on her wine.

“What?!” she demands.

“What?” Y/N gasps.

“You may have seen an article in a magazine a few days ago about my dating life, one Y/N and I were never consulted about. But Valentina was.” His eyes narrow. “And I’ve decided that I’m tired of letting this woman control my life, and coming between Y/N and I.”

The entire room turns to look at them both. Valentina goes bright red, stammering as she tries to form a coherent sentence. Y/N can’t say anything, still in shock. She considers pinching herself to see if she’s dreaming, but can’t even muster the strength to do that, either. “Y/N.” Bucky sighs. “I’m so, so sorry I let Valentina come between us, and didn’t tell the entire world that I love you, like you deserve. So…” he smiles. “I love you, Y/N. So, so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to show you off to the world and do everything with you, too. In public, because I want everyone to know how happy I am. And it’s all because of you. I’ve been such an asshole, and you deserve so much better. And again, I’m so, so sorry. I totally understand if you never want to see me again, or take me back. But will you please consider giving me another chance?”

In response, Y/N walks over to him, pulling him into a kiss. The room descends into chaos, and she registers cameras flashing around them, but she and Bucky don’t care. “Of course I will.” she whispers, pecking his lips. “...I didn’t expect this public, though.” She giggles softly. Bucky smiles. 

“It’s the least you deserve.”

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He kisses her again, and the press go wild. “Now, come on.” He takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

The common room of The New Avengers Tower is a hub of activity and chatter. Yelena and Ava watch a movie, chatting about the plot, whilst Bob, John and Alexei play cards, the sound of a cheer or laugh occasionally filling the air. The door swings open, and Mel walks in, the sharp click of her heels echoing on the floor.

“Bucky,” she smiles, looking over at the super soldier who’s currently slumped on the couch and scrolling through his phone. “Valentina wants to see you in her office immediately, please.”

The room goes quiet. Valentina wanting to see you is never good news. And alone is even worse.

“What is this meeting? Valentina never told me about this?” Alexei frowns.

“Think it’s just for me, Alexei.” Bucky sighs wearily, pushing himself up.

“...And you too, please, Y/N.” Mel interrupts. Immediately, the New Avengers and Bob all turn their heads to stare at the two of them. 

“Why? I’m not an Avenger-”

“You’re our assistant, though. Maybe you did something wrong-” John suggests, his familiar, condescending smirk playing on his lips. Thankfully, Yelena quickly whispers a: 

“Shut the fuck up.” and Y/N shoots her a grateful look.

Valentina’s office is pristine, full of polished marble and velvet. Y/N has always hated it. It’s like she’s just waiting for people to screw up. Any mistake, any spill would be visible, no matter how tiny. Both in this office and in real life.

“Close the door. Please don’t scuff the floors, I just had those put in.” Valentina says, spinning around in her chair to face them. Y/N can’t help but wonder if Valentina knows how much she looks like a supervillain when she does that. Knowing her, she’d probably relish it. Valentina sips from a glass of champagne, her eyes narrowing as the two approach her.

“Hello, Valentina.” Y/N nods. Bucky already looks bored with this whole thing, but murmurs his own greeting. “You wanted to see us?”

“Care to explain this?” Valentina ignores their greeting, and slides an iPad across the desk. The image shows Y/N and Bucky attending a recent gala. The picture captures Y/N, her head thrown back in laughter at something Bucky is saying, and he’s grinning as he looks over at her. Y/N's smile grows as she looks at the picture, warmth spreading in her stomach from the happy memory.

“It’s a picture of Y/N and I from the last gala.” Bucky grunts. 

“Yes, I know that,” Valentina replies with a dismissive tsk. “Mel, you were supposed to- whatever.” With an exasperated huff, she swipes to the next image. “I meant these.”

The screen is full of comments left on the post. Of course, Y/N’s seen most of them, considering her job as an assistant for The New Avengers. 

However, these comments all focus on one specific thing.

User 1: Y/N and Bucky are so cute together. They’d really be a great couple. Reply: Right?! The way he looks at her!!! User 2: Has anyone else noticed how much Bucky, the grumpy ex-assassin, smiles around Y/N??? IT’S SO CUUUUTE!!! User 3: WE WANT Y/N AND BUCKY!!! User 4: Anyone have any ship name ideas? User 5: They’re WAY more interesting than the Thunderbolts, or whatever they’re called now #sorrynotsorry

“Those aren't the only comments. And Mel has informed me that there are TikTok videos and fan accounts dedicated to you, too. It appears people are shipping you both.” Valentina's brow arches as she looks at them both. Bucky furrows his brow, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“Shipping us where?”

“Jesus Christ, how old are you?!" Valentina rubs her temple, irritated. “It means they want you two to be a couple. Mel told me that.” Y/N is about to call out the hypocrisy of her scolding Bucky for his own lack of understanding, but Valentina’s icy glare and Mel’s frantic head shake, warning her to stop, stop her. "Well?" She prompts, raising her brow as she looks at the pair expectantly.

“Well…what?” Bucky asks, his brow furrowed. 

“What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

"Well, I didn’t know so many people see us that way..." Y/N explains. Even though she loves her job, she finds it incredibly jarring to realise how visible she is and how much Valentina and others scrutinise and try to dictate her every move.

“Sorry, why is this a bad thing?” Bucky asks. “They just want us to be together; it’s not like they’re sending us death threats or hate, like usual.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Valentina snaps. “The focus is supposed to be on the New Avengers as a group, not their dating lives. You saw it yourselves; someone said you two are way more interesting than the group! We’ve done so much, and yet the focus is always on you two.” She looks between them both, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. Y/N’s heart jumps into her throat. Whenever Valentina is in one of her moods, it’s best to steer clear. And she’s never seen her this frustrated before. “So.” She sips some more champagne, clearing her throat. “I want you two to stay apart from each other.”

“What?” Y/N gasps. “You can’t do that! My job is being an assistant for The New Avengers! It’s my job to be with him all the time!”

“I was going to say you stay away from him, aside from the bare minimum duties of your job, if you’d have let me finish.” Valentina hisses.

“That’s not fair, you can’t punish her for-” Bucky, always the hero, steps in. 

“As your boss, I can and I will.” Valentina counters. “Now, I have to go to a meeting, so you two can talk amongst yourselves. I’m sure we’ll come to an understanding on this.” She smiles, her expression ice cold. “I trust you know the way out.” Y/N and Bucky take their cue to leave, the door slamming shut behind them.

“I can’t believe she’s done this.” Y/N murmurs, still in shock.

“I know.” Bucky hisses. His hand moves as if to comfort her, but he notices the cameras above them, quickly letting it fall back to his side. “Come on. Let’s…talk this out.” he urges, guiding her to another, more secluded room in the compound.

“Are you sure it’s alright in here? That there are no cameras?” Bucky laughs.

“Y/N, I’m an ex-assassin. I know how to spot a camera. This place is a total blackout, we’ll be undetectable.” 

The door clicks shut, and their mouths immediately meet in an intense, passionate kiss. Bucky’s lips kiss down her neck, a playful smirk on his face. “God, you look so gorgeous today.” He whispers, his breath hot against her skin. “It’s so hard to keep my hands off ‌you. You know what you do to me, hm?”

“Watch out you don’t leave any hickeys. Then she really will get pissed at us.” Y/N says, and he laughs again, the sound warm and deep.

“Screw her.”

Y/N and Bucky’s secret relationship started long before that gala. Their relationship began when he joined the Thunderbolts. At first, Y/N found it so romantic and thrilling, that even though Valentina and the others want to know everything about each other, she and Bucky could have this one little thing to themselves, a fuck you to Valentina after all the demands and cruel words she's inflicted on them so far. 

“We have to keep it a secret.” Bucky had said, kissing the top of her head as they laid on her couch on one of the first nights they spent together. “The last thing I want is Valentina interfering in our private lives.” And Y/N agreed. She thought it was a great idea, a moment of rebellion. 

But now, she’s not so sure. Because it sure feels like Valentina is already messing with their private lives. And now Valentina’s aware of how people want them to be together, it could only get worse.

“Bucky, wait.” She says. Immediately, he stops, pulling away from her. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, did I go too far?” His blue eyes sweep over her, checking she’s okay. He’s so caring, so perfect in every way. How could she ever let him go? Stay away from him as if he means nothing, just because of Valentina?

“No, you’re great. You’re perfect, actually.” He raises a brow, taking her hands in his. 

“What’s wrong, gorgeous?” her nickname. She always feels herself melting at that, and at how Bucky immediately knows something is wrong with her without her even having to say she isn’t feeling okay. “Is it because of what Valentina said?” He asks, and she nods.

“I just…she’s going to be more vigilant now, and if she finds out about us-”

“She’s not going to,” Bucky insists, shaking his head. “Sure, maybe we have to spend less time together in public, but this is really no different from how we usually act: being friendly to each other in public, and being together behind closed doors. And besides, we've been doing this for over ‌a year, haven't we?” He lifts her hands, kissing both her knuckles. “I hate it too, but I still get to see you and know you’re mine, and only mine.”

“I guess you’re right.” She murmurs. With a gentle smile, Bucky pecks her forehead. 

“I promise you, everything will be alright.” He whispers, giving her hand a soft squeeze. Y/N nods, squeezing back… but she still doesn’t feel reassured.

A few weeks after Valentina’s demand, The New Avengers are at a press conference. Off to the side, Y/N scans the room, trying not to focus on Bucky for too long, even though it’s impossible to ignore him today. His curly hair is pulled back partway in a man bun, a few loose tendrils slipping out and framing his face. His suit flexes against his muscles and his metal arm, the material clinging to his biceps. 

“God.” she thinks, feeling her throat going dry. “Valentina may be an insufferable bitch who’s interfering with my boyfriend and I’s relationship, but fuck me, she knows how to make him look good.” Y/N almost had a heart attack when she saw him for the first time today, and had to bite down hard on her tongue to compose herself. She feels herself automatically doing it now, as she pictures her and Bucky together, clinging to each other as they kiss, wanting to take things further right then and there. And then Bucky is unbuckling his belt and pulling his trousers down, even though they both know they shouldn’t be doing this….

And even though they had already done exactly that in the bathroom earlier. Fortunately, they’re both well accustomed to quickies in the bathroom and how to remain undetected.

As she scans the room, her eyes land on a member of the press. She’s crossed paths with him a few times. His name’s Tommy, and he’s the entertainment editor for some big gossip magazine. The New Avengers fill their pages a lot.

But that’s mainly because Valentina pays a lot for the privilege.

His eyes land on hers, and he gives her a smile. In response, she gives him a small nod back before going back to checking the room. 

When she looks back, Tommy is still looking at her. Y/N suppresses the urge to grimace. She's met Tommy's type before: smooth-talking sleazeballs, eager to wine and dine you for a story, only to drop you the moment you’re no longer valuable. And Y/N refuses to be his next victim. 

“Hey, Y/N, right?” He smiles, walking over to her as she gathers her notes at the end of the conference.

“I’ve literally met you like five times already, you ass. How do you not know my name?” She thinks, but plasters on a dazzling smile. “Yes, that’s me. So nice to see you again, Tommy.” she says, shaking his hand.

“You haven't changed your mind about that dinner offer yet?” He chuckles, and Y/N shakes her head, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. Because of course he can’t be bothered to remember her name, yet he magically remembers all the gossip about The New Avengers and Valentina she must have.

“As I’ve told you before, if you want an interview, let Valentina know and we can schedule a time. I don’t do solo dinner dates with gossip columnists. That’s just asking for trouble.” She retorts, her tone politely joking, yet her words biting. 

Even with her back turned, she can feel Bucky's intense gaze boring a hole into Tommy. She can also sense the tightness in his jaw and the stiffness of his posture.

Quickly, she glances back to Bucky. Sure enough, he’s trying to mask his anger. If looks could kill, Tommy would be a dead man. Thankfully, nobody seems to have picked up on Bucky’s anger, and Y/N gives him a quick: “Don’t.” look. Bucky doesn’t respond, but gives her a look of his own, one saying they’re definitely going to talk about this later.

“Speaking of, I have to go. Bye.” she says, turning on her heel and walking towards the others.

In the limo back to the tower, Ava chuckles, raising her brow. “What happened with you and that reporter guy, Y/N? He was making eyes at you again.”

“Ach! Yes, it was very distracting. The attention is supposed to be on us!” Alexei says disapprovingly.

“He’s not a reporter, Ava.” Y/N scoffs. “He just wants to stir up trouble and gossip, which he’s not going to get. And nobody could ever steal the attention away from you, Alexei.” Y/N reassures. Bucky still hasn’t taken his eyes off ‌her. 

“Good.” he nods. “Mister Soldier!” Alexei turns his attention to Bucky, clapping him on the shoulder. “You are very quiet, you know, it’s unnerving me a little. What do you think about the conference?”

“We all know what he thinks.” John smirks, his eyes flickering to Y/N, and the girls chuckle. Y/N clears her throat, swallowing hard.

“Shut up, John.” Bucky hisses. Thankfully, before they can say anything else, the limo pulls back up at the tower. Everyone hurries out, eager to relax and be out of the spotlight for a while.

“Wait...What does he think?” Alexei frowns, trailing behind.

Later that evening, as Y/N walks back to her office, Bucky appears from a secluded hallway, pulling her down it. “Jeez, you need to be more subtle with these things.” she jokes. Bucky doesn’t laugh.

“The way that asshole looked at you today. It makes me sick.” he says, his voice deep, and angry. “He looks at you like you’re nothing more than a piece of meat. God, I hate him.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Bucky, you need to be more careful, we both do! I already think John and the girls suspect something is up with us.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not his.” Bucky hisses, kissing her. But instead of kissing back, Y/N pulls away. 

“I want to be yours. In public.” She says, and Bucky frowns.

“But we can’t, remember? If Valentina-”

“Are you even listening to me, Bucky? People are already suspecting us. People we see every day! Maybe…we should work out a way to tell people. Not everyone, just people we trust.”

“And you trust people in this tower?” He raises a brow. “Do you really trust someone like Alexei to keep our secret?”

“I trust Mel! She helped you, remember?” Y/N points out. “And I’ve had enough cocktails and gossip sessions with her, I’m sure she’d keep our secret. Hell, she probably understands us, too!” Seeing the look on Bucky’s face, Y/N sighs. “Bucky, please. I don’t want to live like this forever, wondering if I can hold your hand… if I can go outside with you, on a date, not just a work thing. Can you at least consider it?”

Bucky shakes his head. Seeing the hurt look on her face, Bucky’s eyes widen. “No. Shit, sorry. Not no, because I don’t want to go public with you, because I do.” He rambles, fidgeting with his hair. “Just…n-not yet, at least. I want to show you off, too. So, so badly. But I know what Valentina’s like, we both do. And I can’t lose you, or let her keep us apart.” 

“Even though she already is?” Y/N murmurs. He sighs, softly kissing her forehead.

“I’m sorry, gorgeous. I do want to show you off, fuck, I wanna scream from the rooftops that I’m dating someone as incredible as you, but we just need to find the right time to say it.” He squeezes her hand, kissing her lips just as softly, continuing until he hits just the right spot. “I promise, we’ll go public soon.” he whispers, kissing her again.

Yet… even as she melts into his kiss, deep down, part of Y/N still doesn’t believe him.

Sure enough, the more the weeks go on, the longer Bucky keeps their secret relationship going. And the more Y/N considers cutting her losses and leaving. She loves Bucky, of course she does. She loves him more than anything in the world. But there’s only so many times you can see other couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and saying sweet things to each other in public whilst your own boyfriend keeps telling you he can’t do that with you before you think it’s something that you’re doing.

And their need to keep apart from each other for Valentina isn’t working either. In fact, the fans are clamouring for them even more, causing Valentina to keep driving the wedge further and further between them, like sending Bucky on remote solo missions, or keeping Y/N buried under a mound of paperwork in her office.

And yet, Bucky still isn’t doing anything about it. Not that Y/N is either, but ironically, it seems Valentina is the most invested person in their relationship, even when she’s trying to keep them apart.

It all comes to a head one day when Y/N is picking up coffee. As soon as she enters the coffee shop, she’s immediately aware of all the couples around her. Giggles, hand-holding, gazing into each other's eyes… everything she can’t do with Bucky. Bitterness swirls in her stomach, an acidic, destructive force which she tries to push down, but after so long pushing it down, it’s refusing to stay buried. To take her mind off things, she flicks through the stack of magazines beside the counter whilst she waits for the coffee. But then, a headline catches her eye, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. There, bold and right in her face, are the words:

“The dating life of superhero James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine comments!”

The article is mostly guesswork, implying that Bucky may have something with random women he’s photographed with, whether they’re women he saved or people he met on the street. Most of the article is dedicated to Y/N herself, with a large paragraph and multiple photos describing her and Bucky’s chemistry and potential relationship. But as promised, there’s also a paragraph from Valentina, where she comments on the rumours and seems to imply there may be more to things than meets the eye. Y/N clenches the magazine in a vice-like grip, the bitterness, rage, and hurt building and growing, creating a dangerous Molotov cocktail ready to explode. 

“Can I take this?” she asks the barista, practically through gritted teeth. “...Please?” The barista nods, slightly unnerved by the look of pure rage on Y/N’s face.

Back in the tower, Y/N dumps the coffee in the common room without another word, turning on her heel and storming out without so much as a hello.

“...What the hell’s her problem?” John frowns.

Y/N storms down the hallway, her fists clenched. Mel’s eyes widen as she sees her approaching, noticing the fire in her eyes.

“Y/N, Valentina’s about to leave, can you do this later? She has to-”

“Oh, she’ll make time for me.” Y/N snaps, opening the door and letting it bang against the wall. Valentina peers up from her desk, her brow raised.

“Good morning to you, too.” Y/N slams the magazine down onto the desk, the pages still open on the article.

“What the hell is this? Why wasn’t I consulted on this?”

“Now, come Y/N, you must know this is an inevitable part of celebrity life.” She chuckles condescendingly, only pissing Y/N off more.

“You told us to stay apart, because you didn’t want the press to focus on their personal lives!” she’s shaking now, grinding her teeth to dust. “But you yourself are more than happy to go to… Tommy and give your side?!”

“Well, he called me, said you weren’t giving him anything useful. What else was I supposed to do?”

“Because you-” she hisses, stopping herself before she breaks something. “You told me you wanted to control the narrative and focus only on their missions!”

“Well, what do you expect? I am controlling the narrative.” She smirks. “Don’t be so upset, you have the biggest paragraph, and I made sure you looked good.”

Y/N scoffs. Of course. Of fucking course she’s only thinking about herself. She always is, even at the expense of everyone else. 

And Y/N’s had enough.

“I’m done with this. I quit.” She says. Valentina splutters, choking on her drink, shocked. “Effective immediately.”

“Excuse me? You can’t-”

“I can, and I will.” Y/N retorts.

“I must say, this is a really inconvenient time to quit, especially with the gala coming up this week.” Valentina points out, and Y/N rolls her eyes, no longer concerned about offending her.

“I’ve done most of the work for it, anyway. Like usual.” 

“And you want to let all that work go to waste?” Valentina stammers, clearly grasping at straws to get her to stay. Seeing how sure Y/N is about this, she sighs. “Okay, fine. At least stay till the gala and help run it, please? After that, you’re free to go wherever you want.”

“Fine.” Y/N nods. “And you’ll write me a glowing reference. Deal?”

“...Deal.” Y/N smiles, nodding. She’s glad to see Valentina like this - bending to her every whim for once. 

But as she turns to leave, Valentina can’t help but stab the knife in her back… and twist it for good measure. “And this way, you have time to say goodbye to everyone. Especially Bucky.”

Y/N sighs, not even turning to face her, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing her pain. Even though she can already feel herself about to crumble.

“Eat shit, Valentina.”

Meanwhile, Bucky is in the gym, completely unaware of everything going on. He unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches on the punching bag, sending it flying. He’s focused, absorbed in his own world. That is, however, until he takes a break for some water and finds Yelena standing right behind him.

“Jesus. You always sneak up on people like that?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Fair.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Okay, spill.” Yelena orders.

“I’d rather not,” Bucky responds with a teasing grin, sipping his water. 

“Ha ha.” she says flatly. “I meant about you and Y/N.”

“What about us?”

“Oh, come on, Bucky. You’re really not subtle. It’s obvious, really.” When he ignores her, she rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Did Mel tell you Y/N’s quitting?”

That gets his attention. Bucky jolts, sending his water flying everywhere. “Fuck-wait, w-what did you just say?”

“You heard me. Mel told me earlier. Y/N went to Valentina and said she quit.”

“If I swear, you’re lying to me, Yel-”

“Why the fuck would I lie about that?” Yelena raises a brow. 

“But why would-”

“Maybe it’s because she’s madly in love with you, but you’ve been letting Valentina mess with your relationship and treat the two of you like a doormat?” Bucky doesn’t respond, bolting out of the room in search of Y/N. He feels his entire world collapsing beneath him. His chest constricts, and he blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of it all, or fight back the tears.

He finds Y/N in her office, meticulously packing her things away. “You’re leaving?” He asks, his mind still reeling.

“Yes. I am,” she responds, not even looking at him. “My last night is the gala on Friday.”

“But why?” he asks, stepping closer. “I thought things were good between us, that we were happy.”

“You were.” She answers with a biting remark. She still hasn’t looked at him, even though she's breaking his heart. Pain and anger build within Bucky, the mixture swirling in his gut.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Have you seen this?” she pushes the magazine over to him. Bucky scans the page, his eyes narrowing when he realises what it says.

“Oh my- what the fuck is wrong with her?”

“Yup. God forbid she’s not the one controlling the narrative.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. She still hasn’t looked at him.

“...So you’re leaving because of that? A gossip article?”

“No, Bucky, I’m not leaving just because of that. That,” she spits out, her voice laced with resentment. “Is just the tip of a fucking iceberg.” Bucky’s brow furrows. He’s still hurt - hurt that she’s leaving, hurt that he had to find out from Yelena of all people, hurt that his strong, beautiful girlfriend would be so upset by a fucking gossip tabloid. But most of all, hurt that she still won’t fucking look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve told you multiple times how unhappy I was with all of this.” she retorts.

“I meant that you’re leaving!” he bites back. “You know, not even telling me, or even thinking about how I feel is pretty selfish.” he snaps.

“I’M the one being selfish?!” she scoffs, finally looking at him. Her eyes blaze with a fury and pain he’s never seen before. “I’m selfish because I want to hold hands with you in public? Because I want to tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, regardless of what Valentina says?” she scoffs. “Because I’m fucking tired of people, of you,” she spits, her voice breaking. “Letting Valentina control us?” And finally, Bucky understands. And it breaks his damn heart.

“Y/N, I…” he murmurs. He doesn’t even know what to say.

“I love you, Bucky, and it feels like you never want to show it. Like you love the secret part of our relationship more than you love me.”

“That’s not true, you know it’s not.” He insists, his own voice breaking. He steps closer, reaching out for her.

“Don’t I? Then why won’t you tell me in public? O-Or stand up to Valentina?”

“...It’s not that easy, she’s my boss, and-”

“That’s what I thought.” she sniffles, picking up her box of things and walking to the door.

Bucky wants to stop her. To pull her into his arms and kiss her. To tell her he’s sorry, that he’s being an asshole. Because of course, he loves her. Of course he wants to show her off to the world.

But he just… can’t. 

So, he just lets her go.

Later, Bucky sits alone at the table, his head in his hands as the weight of everything presses down on him. The other New Avengers watch him, not wanting to say anything, or unsure of what to say.

“Stop looking at me like I’m fragile.” he grunts, breaking the silence. “You all know about Y/N and me, and that she quit.”

“And she dumped you.” Ava chimes in. “Because you were being an ass.”

“Thanks.” Bucky huffs, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I was though, you’re right.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Yelena asks. 

“...I just don’t know,” he lets out a resigned sigh. “I love her so much. She’s my whole damn world, and I’ve really screwed up. I’ll see her at the gala on Friday, but god knows if she’ll even want to see me.” But then, he has an idea. “Guys… I need your help.”

That Friday, the gala is in full swing. The room, decorated with expensive chandeliers and opulent floral arrangements, is full of laughter, chatter and music. Y/N stands alone in the corner, sipping ‌her drink. This whole situation with Bucky has really brought to her attention how alone she feels in these places, always on the outside looking in.

Y/N’s eyes drift to the other side of the room, locking eyes with Bucky. Her breath hitches in her throat. He looks so good, dressed to the nines in a sharp, fitted suit, exuding charm and sophistication. And god, she misses him so fucking badly.

He makes his way over to her, giving her a soft smile. “Hi.” Somehow, he looks even better up close. He even smells sophisticated.

“Hey Bucky.”

“You look…” he chuckles softly, breathless. “Fucking incredible.” A faint smile graces her lips, and she even gives him a little twirl.

“Thanks. You look great too.” 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for what happened. I messed up, and you’re right-”

“Well, hello you two.” Valentina says, and Bucky huffs. Valentina walks up to them both, her smile as cold as ice. “Almost time for your speech, Bucky.” she smiles.

“You’re doing a speech?” Y/N’s brow furrows. “Nobody told me-”

“He sure is.” Valentina cuts in, placing a hand on his arm and giving Y/N a look that seems to say ‘I win.’ “And he better go.” Bucky gives Y/N one last look, then walks off. Y/N’s heart sinks.

“Glad to see you came.” Valentina smiles. “Although I’m not sure why you’re surprised nobody told you about Bucky’s speech. You did quit last minute.”

“I said I would come.” Y/N retorts, refusing to take the bait Valentina’s dangling in front of her. If she confronts her here, Valentina can easily twist the narrative against her, and she refuses to let her have any hold over her anymore.

“Sure you don’t want to come back? You planned an excellent party, I must admit. Didn’t realise you had it in you.” She’s a master at that. Of making compliments feel like poison.

“I’m sure.” Valentina opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Bucky clears his throat, and his voice fills the air. 

“Good evening, all. Thank you for coming.” His eyes scan the room again, landing on Y/N and Valentina. “This night wouldn’t be possible without the incredible woman who organised it all,” Valentina’s smile grows, and Y/N rolls her eyes. “My girlfriend, Y/N.” The room goes silent, save for Valentina sputtering on her wine.

“What?!” she demands.

“What?” Y/N gasps.

“You may have seen an article in a magazine a few days ago about my dating life, one Y/N and I were never consulted about. But Valentina was.” His eyes narrow. “And I’ve decided that I’m tired of letting this woman control my life, and coming between Y/N and I.”

The entire room turns to look at them both. Valentina goes bright red, stammering as she tries to form a coherent sentence. Y/N can’t say anything, still in shock. She considers pinching herself to see if she’s dreaming, but can’t even muster the strength to do that, either. “Y/N.” Bucky sighs. “I’m so, so sorry I let Valentina come between us, and didn’t tell the entire world that I love you, like you deserve. So…” he smiles. “I love you, Y/N. So, so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to show you off to the world and do everything with you, too. In public, because I want everyone to know how happy I am. And it’s all because of you. I’ve been such an asshole, and you deserve so much better. And again, I’m so, so sorry. I totally understand if you never want to see me again, or take me back. But will you please consider giving me another chance?”

In response, Y/N walks over to him, pulling him into a kiss. The room descends into chaos, and she registers cameras flashing around them, but she and Bucky don’t care. “Of course I will.” she whispers, pecking his lips. “...I didn’t expect this public, though.” She giggles softly. Bucky smiles. 

“It’s the least you deserve.”

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He kisses her again, and the press go wild. “Now, come on.” He takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

The hotel room is meticulously and ornately decorated. Even though it’s small, it’s cosy, with all the essentials they need. It’s perfect for their overnight stay, but there’s one problem. Despite all its fancy decor, the room has only one double bed.

“I’ll take the couch. I’m sure it’s comfortable.” Y/N says, immediately. Bucky shakes his head.

“Absolutely not,” he declares, his voice firm. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Bucky, this mess is on me,” Y/N insists. “I deserve the couch.” 

Working as Congressman Bucky Barnes’ personal assistant, Y/N gets to spend her days travelling the country alongside a literal superhero. And now, their professional relationship has developed, making him one of her closest friends… and the love of her life. However, she has no intention whatsoever of ever telling him. She’s more than happy being his friend and nothing more. And besides, she’s not even sure he likes her in that way anyway, especially since they’re from two different worlds.

After all, he practically admitted it himself when the press published an article all about her, digging through her background and trying to talk to the neighbours in her apartment block.

“Damn press.” He ‌huffed, massaging his temples and running his hands through his brunette hair, pushing it back and tucking it behind his ears like he does when he’s stressed. Of course, after working with Bucky for so long, Y/N was already well aware of his habits. “I don’t want you to have anything to do with this, or with them. If you hear or see anything, you come to me, understand?”

“That's just what comes with the job.” She shrugged. Honestly though, the sheer volume of attention directed at her for the very first time was genuinely terrifying. “This morning, I saw them waiting for me outside my neighbourhood coffee shop.” She murmured.

Bucky sat up straight then, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. “They…what?” he hissed. Y/N had never seen him so angry… yet so calm at the same time. For a split second, she wondered if this tranquil fury is what he was like as The Winter Soldier, or when he was battling space monsters. “Get me the phone.”

“Bucky, I’m-”

“Y/N. Phone.” She handed it to him without another word. Before she could hear the call, another emergency ushered her out of the room. But she had an idea of what was said based on Bucky’s raised voice coming from his office.

Bucky surprised her with a new apartment in a quieter area of the city the very next day. Well… he didn’t technically pay for it himself. He just increased her pay so she could purchase it. And he didn’t say a single thing about it, or what it was for.

“You’ve been working hard. Here’s a raise.” he told her, handing over the cheque.

“I haven’t been working here that long; I thought I didn’t-”

“Y/N.” His voice was firm, cutting her off. “I insist.”

“I can’t take this,” she said, attempting to hand it back.

“You can, and you will.” he ordered, passing it back over. 

“Surely this is better suited for-”

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than my best employee. You know,” he began, sipping his coffee. “Not to change the subject, but the apartment building opposite mine has just had a place go up for sale. Two bedrooms, big bathroom and kitchen…it’s a quieter area of the city, near a park. It's like a gated community, really. Lots of famous people live there, so it's very private. ...No unwanted paps or journalists.”

She understood what he meant then, and felt her cheeks burning as she stumbled over her words, thanking him profusely for his generosity, but Bucky simply smiled. “Don’t worry about the press; I’ve got it covered. But for now…” he sighed. “Maybe it’s best if you stay away from me, and that we’re not photographed together, until things die down.”

“Oh.” she nodded. “Of course.” He’s right, she knows he is. But she can’t help but feel a small pang of hurt at how his thoughts immediately went to them keeping apart from each other. Despite being closer to Bucky than ever before, she can’t even walk down the street with him anymore.

But just as she turned to leave, she swears she caught a look of disappointment on Bucky's face.

That’s the problem with Bucky Barnes. He’s undeniably handsome, of course, but there’s always… something with him. Even though he seems to want to keep their friendship strictly professional and platonic, the way he looks at her always seems to say the opposite. His gaze always lingers on her for just a moment too long, and despite his demanding work, he always makes time to bring her both lunch and dinner, even if he only has seconds between meetings. 

"I'm too busy right now to eat," she said one night, hunched over her laptop. "I have to prepare for-"

“No,” he replied instantly, cutting her off. “Now. You need to eat," he whispered, his voice gentle as he pushed the food towards her. Her favourite, of course. “I can’t have my best girl out of action.” He always does that. Calls her his favourite, insists that he can’t live without her. Nobody else is told that.

An ex-employee even scornfully called her out for being his favourite once. “It’s just because he thinks you’re pretty. You’re shit at your job, and he’ll see that I’m way more capable than you soon enough.” And he got right in her face, demanding to know if there was something more between them, sneering and mocking her.

In an instant, Bucky was between them, shoving him back, away from her, and protectively shielding her with his body. He was trying to remain professional, but Y/N could sense his simmering rage. “Back. Off.” Bucky hissed. “If you touch her again-”

“So what if I do?” the man sneered. 

“I’ll fucking break your hand. That’s what.” Bucky responded, dragging the man to his office.

Y/N heard little of the dressing-down Bucky inflicted on him, but from the snippets she heard, Bucky was furious. The employee also didn’t last til the end of the day. 

“You alright?” Bucky asked her afterwards, his voice full of concern, and she nodded. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s nothing.” 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

“Bucky, he’s just jealous.”

“He’s an asshole.” he grunted, and she laughed, making his angry expression soften into a smile. “And he’s completely wrong. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends.” Her smile faltered momentarily in disappointment, but she nodded.

“Y-Yeah…” Bucky’s eyebrow raised as he noticed her disappointment, but Y/N hastily claimed she needed to check her emails, turning away from him and hurrying back to her office.

And she’s lost count of the nights they’ve spent together, reviewing meeting notes, or just talking about anything and everything for hours. One night, she fell asleep in her office, hunched over some notes, and awoke to find a warm blanket carefully draped over her. He never admitted to it, of course, but Bucky was the only other person there that night. And when he calls her in the middle of the night, shaken by another nightmare, Y/N is there to listen and calm him down until he feels safe. Because that’s the relationship they have. They’re each other's chosen family, a bond full of unwavering support and unconditional love. 

But considering everything else going on between them, is it really her fault for thinking there may be something more there? 

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you wanted tonight to go." Y/N murmurs.

Tonight, they’re staying over before a conference, something they’ve done countless times before. However, with Y/N's extremely busy schedule leading up to the conference, she had to book the hotel at the last minute. This hotel was the only one within their price range… and it turns out the only available room they have is a double room. When they first found out there was only one bed, Y/N was mortified, and wanted the ground to swallow her whole. 

“Sharing a room with you is not a punishment, Y/N.” Bucky whispers, and her heart skips a beat. She opens her mouth again, and he shakes his head, stopping her. “No buts. And no more apologies from now on, okay?”

“Well, I still can’t let you sleep on the couch when you have an important speech tomorrow.” She points out, and Bucky shrugs indifferently.

“I’ve slept on plenty of couches in my 110 years. It’s fine.” he insists, and Y/N sighs. Soon after they started working together, Bucky revealed his traumatic past to her. And it ignited in her a fierce desire to protect him from that happening to him ever again.

“Absolutely not.” She says, firmly. “I’m not letting you do it.”

“And I’m not letting you, either.” Bucky chuckles.

“So I suppose the only choice left is…”

"...We'll have to share." Bucky finishes for her. “You're sure it’s alright? I just want you to be comfortable.” His concern for her makes her heartbeat increase, and her knees go weak. 

Or perhaps it’s the intoxicating thrill of sharing a bed with the man she’s had a crush on for years, her dreams of what it would be like to wake up next to him finally a tangible reality.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She nods, trying to play it cool even though her heart is beating against her chest so hard she fears it could break through her ribs. To her surprise, Bucky seems much calmer than she is, only deepening her confusion.

Does he really still not see anything between them?

Later that night, as they both finish getting ready for bed, Bucky piles up the pillows in the middle of the bed, creating a soft barrier to separate them both. “Promise you’re alright?” he asks, his voice soft as they both get comfortable. “You want the fan on, or anything?”

“Bucky, it’s fine, honestly.” She smiles. He rolls over onto his side, his intense, icy blue eyes settling on her. He sighs.

“I’ll apologise in advance…in case I have nightmares again. I feel bad enough waking you up with a call, but I’d feel even worse if I woke you up when you’re right beside me.”

“You never have to apologise to me for that.” She smiles softly. “I told you I’m always here for you.”

“You’re too good to me.” he whispers. 

“It’s my job.”

“No, it’s not. You do so much for me, and I don’t deserve you or your kindness.” He smiles over at her like she hung the moon, and as if she’s the most important thing in the world. And Y/N feels a warmth bloom in her chest, spreading throughout her body. 

“Of course you do. You’re a great man, Bucky.” She insists. “And you’re going to keep saving the world.”

“Y/N, I….” he murmurs, so quietly she almost doesn’t hear him. Her heart starts to pound again. Could this be it? Is he going to admit his feelings?

“Yeah?” Bucky’s gaze flickers down, towards her lips, subtly biting his own lip. But then he clears his throat.

“...N-Nothing. Just…thanks.” He gives her a small smile. “It means a lot.”

“Oh…you’re welcome.” Y/N nods with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, pushing down her disappointment. “Goodnight, Bucky.” She says, turning away from him and snuggling under the covers. How much longer can she keep living like this? Wondering if he feels the same for her before she crumbles and just asks him how he feels? …or before she leaves for good?

Bucky keeps a watchful, protective eye over her until she falls asleep. Once he’s sure she’s asleep, he gently adjusts the cover over her, tucking her in and fluffing her pillow. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers softly. “Sorry I’m such an idiot.”

The next morning, sunlight streams through the window and a crack in the curtain, illuminating both the room and Y/N and Bucky in a warm glow. In the night, the pillows set up between them collapsed, so they lay together, their bodies intertwined, and each one holding the other close. Y/N’s head rests on Bucky’s chest, her lips softly parted. His heartbeat is a steady rhythm in her ears, the comforting sound keeping her relaxed. Her eyes flutter open, and she gazes over at Bucky. 

Bucky is still fast asleep. He looks so handsome, serene and at peace. His hair falls in soft curls, and she swears there’s a smile on his lips. She’s so close that she can see all the freckles and body marks dotting his skin, and for a moment, she links them together, creating a constellation. But then, Y/N suddenly realises where she is. Her eyes widen in shock, and her heart stops.

“Oh, fuck.” she whispers. Hearing her whisper, Bucky’s own eyes open, his gaze falling onto her.

“Oh…” he murmurs. “Well.” he chuckles, the sound husky and warm. “Good morning to you, too.” Her heart hammers against her ribs so rapidly that it feels it might break free from her chest, and the comforting warmth of Bucky’s skin turns ice cold. She looks at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, else. “So…you want some breakfast?” 

Out of all the things she thought he would’ve said, that wasn’t one of them. 

“What?!” she scoffs, still in shock, still wondering if he’s joking.

“Well, we need to get ready for the conference, so-”

“Are you serious?! I just woke up in your arms and you’re asking me if I’m hungry?” She demands incredulously, her voice trembling with barely contained anger. Bucky’s brow furrows, blinking in confusion. 

“But-”

“You know what?” she huffs, deciding not to fight this battle right here, right now. “Yeah, I will have some breakfast.” She snaps, pulling herself free from Bucky's grasp, snatching her things and retreating into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her.

Unsurprisingly, breakfast and the conference are just as awkward and tense as the morning, with Y/N and Bucky not saying anything to each other aside from the occasional comment regarding the conference. Behind Y/N's polite facade for the cameras and attendees, her stomach churns, frustration pulsing through her veins.

Bucky walks up to her. “We need to talk.”

“I think you made your thoughts very clear, Congressman.” she responds. 

“Y/N-” Bucky huffs, stopping only so the two of them can plaster on a polite smile for a passing photographer. “Please,” he pleads, his eyes wide with desperation. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes meet his, and she sees the weariness and hope within, prompting a soft sigh to escape her lips. Those damn blue eyes.

“Okay, fine.” she nods. “I think there’s a quiet room somewhere.” Bucky follows her into the room, closing the door behind him. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. “You’ve been acting weird all day.” she scoffs.

“You’re serious? You really don’t know?” Bucky shakes his head, and she rolls her eyes. “You constantly tell me I’m your favourite, saying you can’t live without me, and you keep fucking staring at me during meetings, dinners, and events. And you’re looking at me like I mean something to you, and that you want me, too, but you keep calling it platonic and looking away every time I look back. Which is fine, cause I know you’re a Congressman, and I don’t want to overstep,” she’s rambling now, her voice cracking as everything comes to the surface. She hates it, wanting to show him how angry she is, how he can’t keep playing with her emotions like this. But she can already feel tears stinging at her waterline. “But you keep doing it! So I think, oh, maybe it does mean something, and he just doesn’t want to tell me. Which again, is fine.” she insists.

Bucky hasn’t said anything yet. He’s just staring at her, only intensifying her anger. “T-Then you wake up with me in your arms, and pretend like it's just another morning. You didn’t say anything, just asked if I wanted breakfast! Stop sending me mixed signals, it’s fucking annoying! Are you falling for me, or not?” she asks.

Bucky laughs, smirking. “Am I falling for you?” he repeats. “What do you think?”

“Oh my god, Bucky, can you just say yes or no?!” she demands. “I’ve already spent months asking myself this, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Months?” he raises a brow, the grin never leaving his lips. “I never knew you spent so long wanting me.” 

And with that, Y/N is done with this conversation. “God, just forget it.” she murmurs. However, as she begins to walk away, Bucky softly grabs her wrist, pulling her back slightly. Electricity tingles up her arm, spreading goosebumps all over her skin.

“Uh uh.” he shakes his head, his voice deeper. “I wasn’t finished talking.” Y/N nods, immediately feeling her heart drop to her stomach as a wave of dread floods over her. Oh god, she’s about to be so fucking fired.

“Sorry-”

“Doll.” Bucky leans in closer. “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” she asks, incredulous.

“Quiet.” he whispers, the deep rhythm of his voice reverberating throughout her body. “I’m trying to answer your question, but I can’t do it if you keep running that gorgeous mouth of yours.” Her eyes widen in surprise, and her mouth becomes so dry she can't say another word. Bucky smiles. “Good girl, there we go.”

God, he’s going to be the death of her.

“As I was saying,” Bucky continues. “I’m not ‘falling’ for you.” Seeing her expression falter, he chuckles softly, running one of his human fingers down her jawline before stopping at her chin and gently lifting her face up towards him. His gaze, sharp and unwavering, pierces through her, causing her legs to tremble. Thank god Bucky is basically holding her up. “Because I’ve already fallen for you. Hook, line and fucking sinker. Ever since you came to work for me, that very first day.” 

“But I thought you wanted to keep things professional? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Of course I don’t. I want you, Y/N, and nobody else. God, that first day…” He laughs again, shaking his head. “You were talking to someone, I don’t remember who, or what you were talking about. But you had this smile on your face, so radiant and wide. I can’t even describe how beautiful you looked. And I was having a shitty day, but I just… felt compelled to look up, and then, I saw that smile. And I felt so much better. Y/N, you make me a better person, just by being around me.”

“Bucky, you’re already a good person. You don’t need me.”

“I do, though.” he murmurs. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And god, I love you so damn much. I can’t do this without you.” He runs his free hand through his hair, sighing. “But I’ve got my own issues, and then there’s the whole Congressman thing, and the press and paparazzi are fucking nightmares. I’m a total idiot, you’re right. I shouldn’t have been stringing you along like that, and I regret it so much. But I just… kept quiet, and held back. Because I didn’t want to drag you into this, or assume you might like me back. I’m so sorry, I’ve been acting like an ass, and I completely understand if you don’t want to deal with it. If you want to quit, I’ll write you a glowing reference-”

Now it’s Y/N's turn to interrupt him. Stepping closer, she places her hands on Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him in. “...I want to stay. I want every moment I can get with you, Bucky.”

Bucky’s breath shudders. It’s almost funny, seeing the confident Congressman and superhero so flustered, especially around her. He leans in closer, their faces inches apart and his breath hot on her skin. A moment of silence hangs in the air. Bucky parts his lips, as if to ask if they’re really doing this, really crossing that line.

Because once they do this, there’s truly no going back.

But Y/N doesn’t let him ask it. She closes the distance between them, her lips meeting his in a silent, urgent kiss. Bucky pulls away a moment later. “Oh…sorry.” she murmurs. “I wasn’t thinking, I just, I wanted-”

“I want it too.” Is all Bucky says.

And then he stops holding back.

He returns his lips to hers, their kiss now filled with a deeper hunger and ‌more intense passion. Pushing her against the wall, his hands descend to her waist, intensifying the kiss. Her fingers tangle in his hair, a silent plea for more. Every second feels like a minute, every minute like an hour. All thoughts of the conference fade into nothing. It’s just the two of them… because they’re the only ones who matter. 

But soon, they have to break apart… albeit just to catch their breaths again. Their hearts pound against their ribs, and Bucky chuckles breathlessly, adjusting his tie and shirt. 

“W-Wow…” Y/N gasps.

“I know.” he grins. “Still have any doubt?”

The hotel room is meticulously and ornately decorated. Even though it’s small, it’s cosy, with all the essentials they need. It’s perfect for their overnight stay, but there’s one problem. Despite all its fancy decor, the room has only one double bed.

“I’ll take the couch. I’m sure it’s comfortable.” Y/N says, immediately. Bucky shakes his head.

“Absolutely not,” he declares, his voice firm. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Bucky, this mess is on me,” Y/N insists. “I deserve the couch.” 

Working as Congressman Bucky Barnes’ personal assistant, Y/N gets to spend her days travelling the country alongside a literal superhero. And now, their professional relationship has developed, making him one of her closest friends… and the love of her life. However, she has no intention whatsoever of ever telling him. She’s more than happy being his friend and nothing more. And besides, she’s not even sure he likes her in that way anyway, especially since they’re from two different worlds.

After all, he practically admitted it himself when the press published an article all about her, digging through her background and trying to talk to the neighbours in her apartment block.

“Damn press.” He ‌huffed, massaging his temples and running his hands through his brunette hair, pushing it back and tucking it behind his ears like he does when he’s stressed. Of course, after working with Bucky for so long, Y/N was already well aware of his habits. “I don’t want you to have anything to do with this, or with them. If you hear or see anything, you come to me, understand?”

“That's just what comes with the job.” She shrugged. Honestly though, the sheer volume of attention directed at her for the very first time was genuinely terrifying. “This morning, I saw them waiting for me outside my neighbourhood coffee shop.” She murmured.

Bucky sat up straight then, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. “They…what?” he hissed. Y/N had never seen him so angry… yet so calm at the same time. For a split second, she wondered if this tranquil fury is what he was like as The Winter Soldier, or when he was battling space monsters. “Get me the phone.”

“Bucky, I’m-”

“Y/N. Phone.” She handed it to him without another word. Before she could hear the call, another emergency ushered her out of the room. But she had an idea of what was said based on Bucky’s raised voice coming from his office.

Bucky surprised her with a new apartment in a quieter area of the city the very next day. Well… he didn’t technically pay for it himself. He just increased her pay so she could purchase it. And he didn’t say a single thing about it, or what it was for.

“You’ve been working hard. Here’s a raise.” he told her, handing over the cheque.

“I haven’t been working here that long; I thought I didn’t-”

“Y/N.” His voice was firm, cutting her off. “I insist.”

“I can’t take this,” she said, attempting to hand it back.

“You can, and you will.” he ordered, passing it back over. 

“Surely this is better suited for-”

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than my best employee. You know,” he began, sipping his coffee. “Not to change the subject, but the apartment building opposite mine has just had a place go up for sale. Two bedrooms, big bathroom and kitchen…it’s a quieter area of the city, near a park. It's like a gated community, really. Lots of famous people live there, so it's very private. ...No unwanted paps or journalists.”

She understood what he meant then, and felt her cheeks burning as she stumbled over her words, thanking him profusely for his generosity, but Bucky simply smiled. “Don’t worry about the press; I’ve got it covered. But for now…” he sighed. “Maybe it’s best if you stay away from me, and that we’re not photographed together, until things die down.”

“Oh.” she nodded. “Of course.” He’s right, she knows he is. But she can’t help but feel a small pang of hurt at how his thoughts immediately went to them keeping apart from each other. Despite being closer to Bucky than ever before, she can’t even walk down the street with him anymore.

But just as she turned to leave, she swears she caught a look of disappointment on Bucky's face.

That’s the problem with Bucky Barnes. He’s undeniably handsome, of course, but there’s always… something with him. Even though he seems to want to keep their friendship strictly professional and platonic, the way he looks at her always seems to say the opposite. His gaze always lingers on her for just a moment too long, and despite his demanding work, he always makes time to bring her both lunch and dinner, even if he only has seconds between meetings. 

"I'm too busy right now to eat," she said one night, hunched over her laptop. "I have to prepare for-"

“No,” he replied instantly, cutting her off. “Now. You need to eat," he whispered, his voice gentle as he pushed the food towards her. Her favourite, of course. “I can’t have my best girl out of action.” He always does that. Calls her his favourite, insists that he can’t live without her. Nobody else is told that.

An ex-employee even scornfully called her out for being his favourite once. “It’s just because he thinks you’re pretty. You’re shit at your job, and he’ll see that I’m way more capable than you soon enough.” And he got right in her face, demanding to know if there was something more between them, sneering and mocking her.

In an instant, Bucky was between them, shoving him back, away from her, and protectively shielding her with his body. He was trying to remain professional, but Y/N could sense his simmering rage. “Back. Off.” Bucky hissed. “If you touch her again-”

“So what if I do?” the man sneered. 

“I’ll fucking break your hand. That’s what.” Bucky responded, dragging the man to his office.

Y/N heard little of the dressing-down Bucky inflicted on him, but from the snippets she heard, Bucky was furious. The employee also didn’t last til the end of the day. 

“You alright?” Bucky asked her afterwards, his voice full of concern, and she nodded. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s nothing.” 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

“Bucky, he’s just jealous.”

“He’s an asshole.” he grunted, and she laughed, making his angry expression soften into a smile. “And he’s completely wrong. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends.” Her smile faltered momentarily in disappointment, but she nodded.

“Y-Yeah…” Bucky’s eyebrow raised as he noticed her disappointment, but Y/N hastily claimed she needed to check her emails, turning away from him and hurrying back to her office.

And she’s lost count of the nights they’ve spent together, reviewing meeting notes, or just talking about anything and everything for hours. One night, she fell asleep in her office, hunched over some notes, and awoke to find a warm blanket carefully draped over her. He never admitted to it, of course, but Bucky was the only other person there that night. And when he calls her in the middle of the night, shaken by another nightmare, Y/N is there to listen and calm him down until he feels safe. Because that’s the relationship they have. They’re each other's chosen family, a bond full of unwavering support and unconditional love. 

But considering everything else going on between them, is it really her fault for thinking there may be something more there? 

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you wanted tonight to go." Y/N murmurs.

Tonight, they’re staying over before a conference, something they’ve done countless times before. However, with Y/N's extremely busy schedule leading up to the conference, she had to book the hotel at the last minute. This hotel was the only one within their price range… and it turns out the only available room they have is a double room. When they first found out there was only one bed, Y/N was mortified, and wanted the ground to swallow her whole. 

“Sharing a room with you is not a punishment, Y/N.” Bucky whispers, and her heart skips a beat. She opens her mouth again, and he shakes his head, stopping her. “No buts. And no more apologies from now on, okay?”

“Well, I still can’t let you sleep on the couch when you have an important speech tomorrow.” She points out, and Bucky shrugs indifferently.

“I’ve slept on plenty of couches in my 110 years. It’s fine.” he insists, and Y/N sighs. Soon after they started working together, Bucky revealed his traumatic past to her. And it ignited in her a fierce desire to protect him from that happening to him ever again.

“Absolutely not.” She says, firmly. “I’m not letting you do it.”

“And I’m not letting you, either.” Bucky chuckles.

“So I suppose the only choice left is…”

"...We'll have to share." Bucky finishes for her. “You're sure it’s alright? I just want you to be comfortable.” His concern for her makes her heartbeat increase, and her knees go weak. 

Or perhaps it’s the intoxicating thrill of sharing a bed with the man she’s had a crush on for years, her dreams of what it would be like to wake up next to him finally a tangible reality.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She nods, trying to play it cool even though her heart is beating against her chest so hard she fears it could break through her ribs. To her surprise, Bucky seems much calmer than she is, only deepening her confusion.

Does he really still not see anything between them?

Later that night, as they both finish getting ready for bed, Bucky piles up the pillows in the middle of the bed, creating a soft barrier to separate them both. “Promise you’re alright?” he asks, his voice soft as they both get comfortable. “You want the fan on, or anything?”

“Bucky, it’s fine, honestly.” She smiles. He rolls over onto his side, his intense, icy blue eyes settling on her. He sighs.

“I’ll apologise in advance…in case I have nightmares again. I feel bad enough waking you up with a call, but I’d feel even worse if I woke you up when you’re right beside me.”

“You never have to apologise to me for that.” She smiles softly. “I told you I’m always here for you.”

“You’re too good to me.” he whispers. 

“It’s my job.”

“No, it’s not. You do so much for me, and I don’t deserve you or your kindness.” He smiles over at her like she hung the moon, and as if she’s the most important thing in the world. And Y/N feels a warmth bloom in her chest, spreading throughout her body. 

“Of course you do. You’re a great man, Bucky.” She insists. “And you’re going to keep saving the world.”

“Y/N, I….” he murmurs, so quietly she almost doesn’t hear him. Her heart starts to pound again. Could this be it? Is he going to admit his feelings?

“Yeah?” Bucky’s gaze flickers down, towards her lips, subtly biting his own lip. But then he clears his throat.

“...N-Nothing. Just…thanks.” He gives her a small smile. “It means a lot.”

“Oh…you’re welcome.” Y/N nods with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, pushing down her disappointment. “Goodnight, Bucky.” She says, turning away from him and snuggling under the covers. How much longer can she keep living like this? Wondering if he feels the same for her before she crumbles and just asks him how he feels? …or before she leaves for good?

Bucky keeps a watchful, protective eye over her until she falls asleep. Once he’s sure she’s asleep, he gently adjusts the cover over her, tucking her in and fluffing her pillow. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers softly. “Sorry I’m such an idiot.”

The next morning, sunlight streams through the window and a crack in the curtain, illuminating both the room and Y/N and Bucky in a warm glow. In the night, the pillows set up between them collapsed, so they lay together, their bodies intertwined, and each one holding the other close. Y/N’s head rests on Bucky’s chest, her lips softly parted. His heartbeat is a steady rhythm in her ears, the comforting sound keeping her relaxed. Her eyes flutter open, and she gazes over at Bucky. 

Bucky is still fast asleep. He looks so handsome, serene and at peace. His hair falls in soft curls, and she swears there’s a smile on his lips. She’s so close that she can see all the freckles and body marks dotting his skin, and for a moment, she links them together, creating a constellation. But then, Y/N suddenly realises where she is. Her eyes widen in shock, and her heart stops.

“Oh, fuck.” she whispers. Hearing her whisper, Bucky’s own eyes open, his gaze falling onto her.

“Oh…” he murmurs. “Well.” he chuckles, the sound husky and warm. “Good morning to you, too.” Her heart hammers against her ribs so rapidly that it feels it might break free from her chest, and the comforting warmth of Bucky’s skin turns ice cold. She looks at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, else. “So…you want some breakfast?” 

Out of all the things she thought he would’ve said, that wasn’t one of them. 

“What?!” she scoffs, still in shock, still wondering if he’s joking.

“Well, we need to get ready for the conference, so-”

“Are you serious?! I just woke up in your arms and you’re asking me if I’m hungry?” She demands incredulously, her voice trembling with barely contained anger. Bucky’s brow furrows, blinking in confusion. 

“But-”

“You know what?” she huffs, deciding not to fight this battle right here, right now. “Yeah, I will have some breakfast.” She snaps, pulling herself free from Bucky's grasp, snatching her things and retreating into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her.

Unsurprisingly, breakfast and the conference are just as awkward and tense as the morning, with Y/N and Bucky not saying anything to each other aside from the occasional comment regarding the conference. Behind Y/N's polite facade for the cameras and attendees, her stomach churns, frustration pulsing through her veins.

Bucky walks up to her. “We need to talk.”

“I think you made your thoughts very clear, Congressman.” she responds. 

“Y/N-” Bucky huffs, stopping only so the two of them can plaster on a polite smile for a passing photographer. “Please,” he pleads, his eyes wide with desperation. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes meet his, and she sees the weariness and hope within, prompting a soft sigh to escape her lips. Those damn blue eyes.

“Okay, fine.” she nods. “I think there’s a quiet room somewhere.” Bucky follows her into the room, closing the door behind him. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. “You’ve been acting weird all day.” she scoffs.

“You’re serious? You really don’t know?” Bucky shakes his head, and she rolls her eyes. “You constantly tell me I’m your favourite, saying you can’t live without me, and you keep fucking staring at me during meetings, dinners, and events. And you’re looking at me like I mean something to you, and that you want me, too, but you keep calling it platonic and looking away every time I look back. Which is fine, cause I know you’re a Congressman, and I don’t want to overstep,” she’s rambling now, her voice cracking as everything comes to the surface. She hates it, wanting to show him how angry she is, how he can’t keep playing with her emotions like this. But she can already feel tears stinging at her waterline. “But you keep doing it! So I think, oh, maybe it does mean something, and he just doesn’t want to tell me. Which again, is fine.” she insists.

Bucky hasn’t said anything yet. He’s just staring at her, only intensifying her anger. “T-Then you wake up with me in your arms, and pretend like it's just another morning. You didn’t say anything, just asked if I wanted breakfast! Stop sending me mixed signals, it’s fucking annoying! Are you falling for me, or not?” she asks.

Bucky laughs, smirking. “Am I falling for you?” he repeats. “What do you think?”

“Oh my god, Bucky, can you just say yes or no?!” she demands. “I’ve already spent months asking myself this, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Months?” he raises a brow, the grin never leaving his lips. “I never knew you spent so long wanting me.” 

And with that, Y/N is done with this conversation. “God, just forget it.” she murmurs. However, as she begins to walk away, Bucky softly grabs her wrist, pulling her back slightly. Electricity tingles up her arm, spreading goosebumps all over her skin.

“Uh uh.” he shakes his head, his voice deeper. “I wasn’t finished talking.” Y/N nods, immediately feeling her heart drop to her stomach as a wave of dread floods over her. Oh god, she’s about to be so fucking fired.

“Sorry-”

“Doll.” Bucky leans in closer. “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” she asks, incredulous.

“Quiet.” he whispers, the deep rhythm of his voice reverberating throughout her body. “I’m trying to answer your question, but I can’t do it if you keep running that gorgeous mouth of yours.” Her eyes widen in surprise, and her mouth becomes so dry she can't say another word. Bucky smiles. “Good girl, there we go.”

God, he’s going to be the death of her.

“As I was saying,” Bucky continues. “I’m not ‘falling’ for you.” Seeing her expression falter, he chuckles softly, running one of his human fingers down her jawline before stopping at her chin and gently lifting her face up towards him. His gaze, sharp and unwavering, pierces through her, causing her legs to tremble. Thank god Bucky is basically holding her up. “Because I’ve already fallen for you. Hook, line and fucking sinker. Ever since you came to work for me, that very first day.” 

“But I thought you wanted to keep things professional? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Of course I don’t. I want you, Y/N, and nobody else. God, that first day…” He laughs again, shaking his head. “You were talking to someone, I don’t remember who, or what you were talking about. But you had this smile on your face, so radiant and wide. I can’t even describe how beautiful you looked. And I was having a shitty day, but I just… felt compelled to look up, and then, I saw that smile. And I felt so much better. Y/N, you make me a better person, just by being around me.”

“Bucky, you’re already a good person. You don’t need me.”

“I do, though.” he murmurs. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And god, I love you so damn much. I can’t do this without you.” He runs his free hand through his hair, sighing. “But I’ve got my own issues, and then there’s the whole Congressman thing, and the press and paparazzi are fucking nightmares. I’m a total idiot, you’re right. I shouldn’t have been stringing you along like that, and I regret it so much. But I just… kept quiet, and held back. Because I didn’t want to drag you into this, or assume you might like me back. I’m so sorry, I’ve been acting like an ass, and I completely understand if you don’t want to deal with it. If you want to quit, I’ll write you a glowing reference-”

Now it’s Y/N's turn to interrupt him. Stepping closer, she places her hands on Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him in. “...I want to stay. I want every moment I can get with you, Bucky.”

Bucky’s breath shudders. It’s almost funny, seeing the confident Congressman and superhero so flustered, especially around her. He leans in closer, their faces inches apart and his breath hot on her skin. A moment of silence hangs in the air. Bucky parts his lips, as if to ask if they’re really doing this, really crossing that line.

Because once they do this, there’s truly no going back.

But Y/N doesn’t let him ask it. She closes the distance between them, her lips meeting his in a silent, urgent kiss. Bucky pulls away a moment later. “Oh…sorry.” she murmurs. “I wasn’t thinking, I just, I wanted-”

“I want it too.” Is all Bucky says.

And then he stops holding back.

He returns his lips to hers, their kiss now filled with a deeper hunger and ‌more intense passion. Pushing her against the wall, his hands descend to her waist, intensifying the kiss. Her fingers tangle in his hair, a silent plea for more. Every second feels like a minute, every minute like an hour. All thoughts of the conference fade into nothing. It’s just the two of them… because they’re the only ones who matter. 

But soon, they have to break apart… albeit just to catch their breaths again. Their hearts pound against their ribs, and Bucky chuckles breathlessly, adjusting his tie and shirt. 

“W-Wow…” Y/N gasps.

“I know.” he grins. “Still have any doubt?”

The hotel room is meticulously and ornately decorated. Even though it’s small, it’s cosy, with all the essentials they need. It’s perfect for their overnight stay, but there’s one problem. Despite all its fancy decor, the room has only one double bed.

“I’ll take the couch. I’m sure it’s comfortable.” Y/N says, immediately. Bucky shakes his head.

“Absolutely not,” he declares, his voice firm. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Bucky, this mess is on me,” Y/N insists. “I deserve the couch.” 

Working as Congressman Bucky Barnes’ personal assistant, Y/N gets to spend her days travelling the country alongside a literal superhero. And now, their professional relationship has developed, making him one of her closest friends… and the love of her life. However, she has no intention whatsoever of ever telling him. She’s more than happy being his friend and nothing more. And besides, she’s not even sure he likes her in that way anyway, especially since they’re from two different worlds.

After all, he practically admitted it himself when the press published an article all about her, digging through her background and trying to talk to the neighbours in her apartment block.

“Damn press.” He ‌huffed, massaging his temples and running his hands through his brunette hair, pushing it back and tucking it behind his ears like he does when he’s stressed. Of course, after working with Bucky for so long, Y/N was already well aware of his habits. “I don’t want you to have anything to do with this, or with them. If you hear or see anything, you come to me, understand?”

“That's just what comes with the job.” She shrugged. Honestly though, the sheer volume of attention directed at her for the very first time was genuinely terrifying. “This morning, I saw them waiting for me outside my neighbourhood coffee shop.” She murmured.

Bucky sat up straight then, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. “They…what?” he hissed. Y/N had never seen him so angry… yet so calm at the same time. For a split second, she wondered if this tranquil fury is what he was like as The Winter Soldier, or when he was battling space monsters. “Get me the phone.”

“Bucky, I’m-”

“Y/N. Phone.” She handed it to him without another word. Before she could hear the call, another emergency ushered her out of the room. But she had an idea of what was said based on Bucky’s raised voice coming from his office.

Bucky surprised her with a new apartment in a quieter area of the city the very next day. Well… he didn’t technically pay for it himself. He just increased her pay so she could purchase it. And he didn’t say a single thing about it, or what it was for.

“You’ve been working hard. Here’s a raise.” he told her, handing over the cheque.

“I haven’t been working here that long; I thought I didn’t-”

“Y/N.” His voice was firm, cutting her off. “I insist.”

“I can’t take this,” she said, attempting to hand it back.

“You can, and you will.” he ordered, passing it back over. 

“Surely this is better suited for-”

“I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than my best employee. You know,” he began, sipping his coffee. “Not to change the subject, but the apartment building opposite mine has just had a place go up for sale. Two bedrooms, big bathroom and kitchen…it’s a quieter area of the city, near a park. It's like a gated community, really. Lots of famous people live there, so it's very private. ...No unwanted paps or journalists.”

She understood what he meant then, and felt her cheeks burning as she stumbled over her words, thanking him profusely for his generosity, but Bucky simply smiled. “Don’t worry about the press; I’ve got it covered. But for now…” he sighed. “Maybe it’s best if you stay away from me, and that we’re not photographed together, until things die down.”

“Oh.” she nodded. “Of course.” He’s right, she knows he is. But she can’t help but feel a small pang of hurt at how his thoughts immediately went to them keeping apart from each other. Despite being closer to Bucky than ever before, she can’t even walk down the street with him anymore.

But just as she turned to leave, she swears she caught a look of disappointment on Bucky's face.

That’s the problem with Bucky Barnes. He’s undeniably handsome, of course, but there’s always… something with him. Even though he seems to want to keep their friendship strictly professional and platonic, the way he looks at her always seems to say the opposite. His gaze always lingers on her for just a moment too long, and despite his demanding work, he always makes time to bring her both lunch and dinner, even if he only has seconds between meetings. 

"I'm too busy right now to eat," she said one night, hunched over her laptop. "I have to prepare for-"

“No,” he replied instantly, cutting her off. “Now. You need to eat," he whispered, his voice gentle as he pushed the food towards her. Her favourite, of course. “I can’t have my best girl out of action.” He always does that. Calls her his favourite, insists that he can’t live without her. Nobody else is told that.

An ex-employee even scornfully called her out for being his favourite once. “It’s just because he thinks you’re pretty. You’re shit at your job, and he’ll see that I’m way more capable than you soon enough.” And he got right in her face, demanding to know if there was something more between them, sneering and mocking her.

In an instant, Bucky was between them, shoving him back, away from her, and protectively shielding her with his body. He was trying to remain professional, but Y/N could sense his simmering rage. “Back. Off.” Bucky hissed. “If you touch her again-”

“So what if I do?” the man sneered. 

“I’ll fucking break your hand. That’s what.” Bucky responded, dragging the man to his office.

Y/N heard little of the dressing-down Bucky inflicted on him, but from the snippets she heard, Bucky was furious. The employee also didn’t last til the end of the day. 

“You alright?” Bucky asked her afterwards, his voice full of concern, and she nodded. 

“Y-Yeah, it’s nothing.” 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.”

“Bucky, he’s just jealous.”

“He’s an asshole.” he grunted, and she laughed, making his angry expression soften into a smile. “And he’s completely wrong. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends.” Her smile faltered momentarily in disappointment, but she nodded.

“Y-Yeah…” Bucky’s eyebrow raised as he noticed her disappointment, but Y/N hastily claimed she needed to check her emails, turning away from him and hurrying back to her office.

And she’s lost count of the nights they’ve spent together, reviewing meeting notes, or just talking about anything and everything for hours. One night, she fell asleep in her office, hunched over some notes, and awoke to find a warm blanket carefully draped over her. He never admitted to it, of course, but Bucky was the only other person there that night. And when he calls her in the middle of the night, shaken by another nightmare, Y/N is there to listen and calm him down until he feels safe. Because that’s the relationship they have. They’re each other's chosen family, a bond full of unwavering support and unconditional love. 

But considering everything else going on between them, is it really her fault for thinking there may be something more there? 

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't how you wanted tonight to go." Y/N murmurs.

Tonight, they’re staying over before a conference, something they’ve done countless times before. However, with Y/N's extremely busy schedule leading up to the conference, she had to book the hotel at the last minute. This hotel was the only one within their price range… and it turns out the only available room they have is a double room. When they first found out there was only one bed, Y/N was mortified, and wanted the ground to swallow her whole. 

“Sharing a room with you is not a punishment, Y/N.” Bucky whispers, and her heart skips a beat. She opens her mouth again, and he shakes his head, stopping her. “No buts. And no more apologies from now on, okay?”

“Well, I still can’t let you sleep on the couch when you have an important speech tomorrow.” She points out, and Bucky shrugs indifferently.

“I’ve slept on plenty of couches in my 110 years. It’s fine.” he insists, and Y/N sighs. Soon after they started working together, Bucky revealed his traumatic past to her. And it ignited in her a fierce desire to protect him from that happening to him ever again.

“Absolutely not.” She says, firmly. “I’m not letting you do it.”

“And I’m not letting you, either.” Bucky chuckles.

“So I suppose the only choice left is…”

"...We'll have to share." Bucky finishes for her. “You're sure it’s alright? I just want you to be comfortable.” His concern for her makes her heartbeat increase, and her knees go weak. 

Or perhaps it’s the intoxicating thrill of sharing a bed with the man she’s had a crush on for years, her dreams of what it would be like to wake up next to him finally a tangible reality.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She nods, trying to play it cool even though her heart is beating against her chest so hard she fears it could break through her ribs. To her surprise, Bucky seems much calmer than she is, only deepening her confusion.

Does he really still not see anything between them?

Later that night, as they both finish getting ready for bed, Bucky piles up the pillows in the middle of the bed, creating a soft barrier to separate them both. “Promise you’re alright?” he asks, his voice soft as they both get comfortable. “You want the fan on, or anything?”

“Bucky, it’s fine, honestly.” She smiles. He rolls over onto his side, his intense, icy blue eyes settling on her. He sighs.

“I’ll apologise in advance…in case I have nightmares again. I feel bad enough waking you up with a call, but I’d feel even worse if I woke you up when you’re right beside me.”

“You never have to apologise to me for that.” She smiles softly. “I told you I’m always here for you.”

“You’re too good to me.” he whispers. 

“It’s my job.”

“No, it’s not. You do so much for me, and I don’t deserve you or your kindness.” He smiles over at her like she hung the moon, and as if she’s the most important thing in the world. And Y/N feels a warmth bloom in her chest, spreading throughout her body. 

“Of course you do. You’re a great man, Bucky.” She insists. “And you’re going to keep saving the world.”

“Y/N, I….” he murmurs, so quietly she almost doesn’t hear him. Her heart starts to pound again. Could this be it? Is he going to admit his feelings?

“Yeah?” Bucky’s gaze flickers down, towards her lips, subtly biting his own lip. But then he clears his throat.

“...N-Nothing. Just…thanks.” He gives her a small smile. “It means a lot.”

“Oh…you’re welcome.” Y/N nods with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, pushing down her disappointment. “Goodnight, Bucky.” She says, turning away from him and snuggling under the covers. How much longer can she keep living like this? Wondering if he feels the same for her before she crumbles and just asks him how he feels? …or before she leaves for good?

Bucky keeps a watchful, protective eye over her until she falls asleep. Once he’s sure she’s asleep, he gently adjusts the cover over her, tucking her in and fluffing her pillow. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers softly. “Sorry I’m such an idiot.”

The next morning, sunlight streams through the window and a crack in the curtain, illuminating both the room and Y/N and Bucky in a warm glow. In the night, the pillows set up between them collapsed, so they lay together, their bodies intertwined, and each one holding the other close. Y/N’s head rests on Bucky’s chest, her lips softly parted. His heartbeat is a steady rhythm in her ears, the comforting sound keeping her relaxed. Her eyes flutter open, and she gazes over at Bucky. 

Bucky is still fast asleep. He looks so handsome, serene and at peace. His hair falls in soft curls, and she swears there’s a smile on his lips. She’s so close that she can see all the freckles and body marks dotting his skin, and for a moment, she links them together, creating a constellation. But then, Y/N suddenly realises where she is. Her eyes widen in shock, and her heart stops.

“Oh, fuck.” she whispers. Hearing her whisper, Bucky’s own eyes open, his gaze falling onto her.

“Oh…” he murmurs. “Well.” he chuckles, the sound husky and warm. “Good morning to you, too.” Her heart hammers against her ribs so rapidly that it feels it might break free from her chest, and the comforting warmth of Bucky’s skin turns ice cold. She looks at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, else. “So…you want some breakfast?” 

Out of all the things she thought he would’ve said, that wasn’t one of them. 

“What?!” she scoffs, still in shock, still wondering if he’s joking.

“Well, we need to get ready for the conference, so-”

“Are you serious?! I just woke up in your arms and you’re asking me if I’m hungry?” She demands incredulously, her voice trembling with barely contained anger. Bucky’s brow furrows, blinking in confusion. 

“But-”

“You know what?” she huffs, deciding not to fight this battle right here, right now. “Yeah, I will have some breakfast.” She snaps, pulling herself free from Bucky's grasp, snatching her things and retreating into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her.

Unsurprisingly, breakfast and the conference are just as awkward and tense as the morning, with Y/N and Bucky not saying anything to each other aside from the occasional comment regarding the conference. Behind Y/N's polite facade for the cameras and attendees, her stomach churns, frustration pulsing through her veins.

Bucky walks up to her. “We need to talk.”

“I think you made your thoughts very clear, Congressman.” she responds. 

“Y/N-” Bucky huffs, stopping only so the two of them can plaster on a polite smile for a passing photographer. “Please,” he pleads, his eyes wide with desperation. “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes meet his, and she sees the weariness and hope within, prompting a soft sigh to escape her lips. Those damn blue eyes.

“Okay, fine.” she nods. “I think there’s a quiet room somewhere.” Bucky follows her into the room, closing the door behind him. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. “You’ve been acting weird all day.” she scoffs.

“You’re serious? You really don’t know?” Bucky shakes his head, and she rolls her eyes. “You constantly tell me I’m your favourite, saying you can’t live without me, and you keep fucking staring at me during meetings, dinners, and events. And you’re looking at me like I mean something to you, and that you want me, too, but you keep calling it platonic and looking away every time I look back. Which is fine, cause I know you’re a Congressman, and I don’t want to overstep,” she’s rambling now, her voice cracking as everything comes to the surface. She hates it, wanting to show him how angry she is, how he can’t keep playing with her emotions like this. But she can already feel tears stinging at her waterline. “But you keep doing it! So I think, oh, maybe it does mean something, and he just doesn’t want to tell me. Which again, is fine.” she insists.

Bucky hasn’t said anything yet. He’s just staring at her, only intensifying her anger. “T-Then you wake up with me in your arms, and pretend like it's just another morning. You didn’t say anything, just asked if I wanted breakfast! Stop sending me mixed signals, it’s fucking annoying! Are you falling for me, or not?” she asks.

Bucky laughs, smirking. “Am I falling for you?” he repeats. “What do you think?”

“Oh my god, Bucky, can you just say yes or no?!” she demands. “I’ve already spent months asking myself this, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Months?” he raises a brow, the grin never leaving his lips. “I never knew you spent so long wanting me.” 

And with that, Y/N is done with this conversation. “God, just forget it.” she murmurs. However, as she begins to walk away, Bucky softly grabs her wrist, pulling her back slightly. Electricity tingles up her arm, spreading goosebumps all over her skin.

“Uh uh.” he shakes his head, his voice deeper. “I wasn’t finished talking.” Y/N nods, immediately feeling her heart drop to her stomach as a wave of dread floods over her. Oh god, she’s about to be so fucking fired.

“Sorry-”

“Doll.” Bucky leans in closer. “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” she asks, incredulous.

“Quiet.” he whispers, the deep rhythm of his voice reverberating throughout her body. “I’m trying to answer your question, but I can’t do it if you keep running that gorgeous mouth of yours.” Her eyes widen in surprise, and her mouth becomes so dry she can't say another word. Bucky smiles. “Good girl, there we go.”

God, he’s going to be the death of her.

“As I was saying,” Bucky continues. “I’m not ‘falling’ for you.” Seeing her expression falter, he chuckles softly, running one of his human fingers down her jawline before stopping at her chin and gently lifting her face up towards him. His gaze, sharp and unwavering, pierces through her, causing her legs to tremble. Thank god Bucky is basically holding her up. “Because I’ve already fallen for you. Hook, line and fucking sinker. Ever since you came to work for me, that very first day.” 

“But I thought you wanted to keep things professional? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Of course I don’t. I want you, Y/N, and nobody else. God, that first day…” He laughs again, shaking his head. “You were talking to someone, I don’t remember who, or what you were talking about. But you had this smile on your face, so radiant and wide. I can’t even describe how beautiful you looked. And I was having a shitty day, but I just… felt compelled to look up, and then, I saw that smile. And I felt so much better. Y/N, you make me a better person, just by being around me.”

“Bucky, you’re already a good person. You don’t need me.”

“I do, though.” he murmurs. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And god, I love you so damn much. I can’t do this without you.” He runs his free hand through his hair, sighing. “But I’ve got my own issues, and then there’s the whole Congressman thing, and the press and paparazzi are fucking nightmares. I’m a total idiot, you’re right. I shouldn’t have been stringing you along like that, and I regret it so much. But I just… kept quiet, and held back. Because I didn’t want to drag you into this, or assume you might like me back. I’m so sorry, I’ve been acting like an ass, and I completely understand if you don’t want to deal with it. If you want to quit, I’ll write you a glowing reference-”

Now it’s Y/N's turn to interrupt him. Stepping closer, she places her hands on Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him in. “...I want to stay. I want every moment I can get with you, Bucky.”

Bucky’s breath shudders. It’s almost funny, seeing the confident Congressman and superhero so flustered, especially around her. He leans in closer, their faces inches apart and his breath hot on her skin. A moment of silence hangs in the air. Bucky parts his lips, as if to ask if they’re really doing this, really crossing that line.

Because once they do this, there’s truly no going back.

But Y/N doesn’t let him ask it. She closes the distance between them, her lips meeting his in a silent, urgent kiss. Bucky pulls away a moment later. “Oh…sorry.” she murmurs. “I wasn’t thinking, I just, I wanted-”

“I want it too.” Is all Bucky says.

And then he stops holding back.

He returns his lips to hers, their kiss now filled with a deeper hunger and ‌more intense passion. Pushing her against the wall, his hands descend to her waist, intensifying the kiss. Her fingers tangle in his hair, a silent plea for more. Every second feels like a minute, every minute like an hour. All thoughts of the conference fade into nothing. It’s just the two of them… because they’re the only ones who matter. 

But soon, they have to break apart… albeit just to catch their breaths again. Their hearts pound against their ribs, and Bucky chuckles breathlessly, adjusting his tie and shirt. 

“W-Wow…” Y/N gasps.

“I know.” he grins. “Still have any doubt?”

The dance floor is alive, the air full of laughter and music. Beaming proudly, Ted, Karen, Joyce and Hopper watch Nancy and Jonathan dance together, their arms wrapped around each other and their smiles radiant. Love and happiness radiate from every person in the room.

One guest, though, is an exception.

Y/N sits alone, clutching her glass as she watches the happy couple, a knot of unease tightening in her gut. She shouldn’t have come here. She knew that months ago, when the invitation came in the mail, encased in a crisp white envelope with her and Christopher’s names written across the top in calligraphy. The invitation, intricately detailed, requested her and Christopher’s presence at ‘such a special day’ and how Nancy and Jonathan were ‘hoping they could make it’.

Standing alone in her kitchen, the invitation gripped in her hand, Y/N could hear her mother’s voice in her head, asking her why her invitations weren’t so polished, and chastising her for her life choices yet again. Because by her parent’s standards, anything less than perfect is unacceptable. And to them, their daughter and her life choices are the furthest thing from perfection. Even though they were the ones who meticulously planned her entire wedding, ignoring everything she wanted. 

Especially who she wanted as her groom.

Christopher, the son of a lawyer, captain of the football team, and destined to follow in his father’s footsteps, was like gold dust to her parents. His family also being rich and belonging to the same exclusive country club as her father helped too, of course. And he was… nice enough, thankfully just as bored by all the rich people’s pleasantries as Y/N was. He bought her flowers and chocolates, held her hand, took her to prom, and did all the classic, soppy boyfriend stuff that has girls in rom-coms squealing with delight. 

But despite all of Christopher’s pros, there was just one problem.

A big problem.

He isn’t Steve Harrington.

Steve, much like Y/N, is a rich kid, the poster boy athlete of his parents. Steve and Y/N actually met at a party hosted by Y/N’s parents, the two of them desperate for escape from the mind-numbing, snobby conversations. From that moment on, the rest was history, and they gravitated towards each other at every party since then.

With each passing moment they shared, Y/N's love for him deepened. For the longest time, she didn’t think he felt the same. The reigning King of Hawkins High, Steve had girls falling at his feet and could go for anyone he wanted. And Y/N knew she would not be his first choice.

But one night, everything changed.

Fifteen years ago.

“What do you think they’re talking about in there?” Y/N asks, giggling as she picks daisies from the grass beside her, gazing up at Steve from her position beside him. The lingering taste of the whisky they stole coats her lips and tongue, and she feels the warm, comforting haze of intoxication spreading through her. 

“Some country club bullshit, no doubt.” Steve chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he takes another swig. “Our dads are probably planning to play golf, and my dad’s busy talking about how much of a fuck-up I am.” 

“You’re not a fuck-up, Steve.” Y/N mumbles, propping herself up on her elbows. The fading summer light, mingled with the twinkling fairy lights overhead, bathes him in an angelic glow, and the warmth in Y/N’s gut intensifies.

God, he’s so beautiful. And the fact that he hates himself makes her heart ache. If he knew how she really felt, how much she loved him…would it be enough to convince him he’s worthy? “You’re fucking incredible. Imagine if your dad knew you fought monsters and saved the town! You’re a hero.” She insists. “I’m the fuck-up, not you.” She murmurs.

“No, you’re not. "Don't you ever say that shit again," Steve warns, his face inches from hers. He runs a finger along her jawline, and she registers a shiver of electricity running through her body.

“I am. I’ve not done anything like that. My parents are right. I’m a loser, a-and nobody likes me-” she murmurs, her voice cracking.

She’s cut off by Steve kissing her. Soft, hesitant at first, then firmer. The sensation, the scent, and the taste are still vivid in her memory, even now. The smooth warmth of the whisky, the sudden hit of the mint gum he brought to mask their drinking, and the smell of his cologne, ‘borrowed’ from his father to seem more mature, to make him proud of him. 

“I like you,” Steve whispers, his fingers brushing against hers as he pulls back slightly. “A lot. And I know I shouldn’t have done that, but hearing you talk so shitty about yourself-”

This time, Y/N silences him with a kiss.

As she drifted off to sleep that night, she dreamt of Steve, the gentle warmth of his skin against hers, and visions of their shared future. 

But the next day, everything came crashing down. 

She remembers it just as vividly as the night they had their first kiss. The air was heavy with the smell of rain as it hit against Steve's BMW, drowning out the soft song playing on the radio.

But the thing that sticks with her the most… is that Steve couldn’t even look at her as he ripped her apart.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking out of the window, his gaze distant. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. We were tipsy, and I’m still not sure how I feel.”

“You sure seemed to know how you felt last night, Steve.” She snaps. “I wanted you to kiss me. I like you too.” she replies. Steve doesn’t answer. 

“I don’t know how I feel Y/N. I still have this thing with Nancy, and I might still like her, so it's not fair to you.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. Y/N’s stomach twists, and her eyes sting with tears. 

“Steve, you said you liked me too.” She says, hating how her voice cracks on the last word. She wants him to know how angry she is, that he can’t just kiss her and then rip it all apart the next day. “So… so what? That’s it? You kiss me like that, then tell me you don't feel the same? You were lying to me?”

“Y/N-” He begins, but she cuts him off.

“And we’re just supposed to go back to normal after this? You want to just be friends, and for me to pretend I don't love you?” She demands, tears blurring her vision. “No, fuck that, Steve. I can’t do that.” She sniffs, opening the door and spilling out into the Hawkins evening air.

“Y/N, wait, it’s not forever! I just need time!” Steve insists. “Look, it’s gonna start pouring, at least let me give you a ride home! You’ll get soaked!” but she doesn’t turn back around, ignoring the urge to look back, to see if he was just as broken as her. 

Despite the pain he inflicted that night, she still hoped he would follow her. To apologise, to tell her he’s wrong, and declare his love for her.

He didn’t. 

Since that night, Y/N anxiously waited for Steve to decide and to give her some closure. Even as she watched him laughing with Nancy and other girls, and deep in her heart she understood he didn't want her anymore, a stubborn hope persisted within her. Even when she knew it was stupid, when he couldn’t even look at her anymore, when she knew it was over… she continued to wait for him, her hope unwavering. She still hoped something would change. Because she loved him so much, she could barely stand it. 

But he never came back, even to tell her what she already knew. And after so long hoping and dreaming, something in her just… snapped. 

And she stopped waiting.

So, when Christopher came along, so romantic and loving, promising her everything, Y/N said yes. She… settled. Even though her heart still longed for Steve, still wished it was him taking her to prom, sending her Valentine’s gifts, and promising to be hers forever. 

Steve didn’t want her, and she made her peace with that, even though it was tearing her up inside.

Even though it still is.

Deep down, a part of her still wonders if her parents had something to do with Steve never coming back. Christopher had everything. His future was bright, with a trust fund secured and prestigious law schools eager to accept him. He was the young man every parent hoped their daughter would bring home. Steve, ‌who gave up his popular, rich-kid life to work in an ice cream shop, a video store, and as a radio DJ, was precisely the person her parents disapproved of. Even though Y/N would have sacrificed it all for Steve. 

Nancy never had to deal with that. This wedding is the perfect mix of her and Jonathan, and even though they’ve had their struggles, it’s clear Ted and Karen love her and support her choices, and never forced her into anything. As she registers her grip on the glass tighten once again, Y/N lets out a weary sigh.

She’s had enough bitterness in her heart for years. It’s not Nancy’s fault Y/N’s marriage fell apart, or why she’s been standing here all day trying not to implode with all the thoughts of her own disastrous wedding replaying in her mind. 

It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She was supposed to be the blushing bride, radiant. 

Instead, all she felt was a vast sense of emptiness and exhaustion. She wasn’t happy. Her parents knew it, and deep down she knew Christopher did too, despite his cheerful demeanour. But she still plastered on a bright, almost aching smile, welcoming her guests and acting out a scene of domestic bliss. Everyone was there. Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, Vickie, the kids… all telling her how beautiful she looked, and how happy they were for her. 

Y/N felt utterly ridiculous, a pathetic shadow of herself, still clinging to the childish fantasy of her teenage crush bursting in to stop her wedding by professing his undying love. Her parents were watching her like a hawk, poised to rectify any mistake. Because god forbid she ruins the charade of this happy day, this excuse to show off their wealth and notoriety in society, by admitting she’s not happy. Thankfully, if her guests thought she was faking it, they said nothing.

She tried once. To fight for herself, for Christopher, their happiness, and stop things before they went too far. 

“And what? Who do you think will be there for you? Steve Harrington?” her father laughed coldly. “That loser?”

"Stop calling him that, he's a good man-"

“Oh please? The "good man" who abandoned you for his high school sweetheart? And still didn’t come back to you when they broke up?” Her mother scoffed, her tone pure disbelief, and rolled her eyes in exasperation. “He doesn’t want you.”

She still invited Steve to the wedding, though. Honestly, she was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. Part of her was hoping he wouldn’t show up, that she could start her new life without his shadow. But he still came. Because she and Steve are so connected, they just gravitate toward each other. 

Despite her best efforts to hide from the world, Steve found her in a side room, standing in front of a mirror. Her shoulders shook as she tried not to sob, and she couldn’t meet his gaze. “Go away, Steve,” she choked out, furiously wiping her eyes. 

“There you are.” He grinned, leaning against the doorway. His brown eyes moved down her figure, reigniting the bitterness, rage and heartbreak within her. How could he just ditch her with no apology so easily, and then come to her wedding like nothing had happened between them? “God, you’re gorgeous.” He slurred, the scent of alcohol clear on his breath.

But fuck, she still wanted him so badly. She could already feel her ‘perfect’ life and marriage unravelling with just a glimpse of Steve Harrington's smile.

“Steve, are you drunk?” Steve didn’t respond, his laughter filling the air as he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. As his cologne, a deep, intoxicating scent filled her nostrils, her heart stopped, her breath hitched in her throat.

He still smelt the same as that night at the country club. The night he kissed her, ‌his lips tasting of whisky and mint. When he told her he loved her…

“It’s your wedding! Of course I’m drunk!” 

“You can barely stand up.” She huffed. 

“Y/N, it’s fiiiiine.” Steve smiled. But then, he pulled away from her. As his gaze lingered on her, more memories of that night on the grass flooded Y/N’s mind. The night she would’ve burned her entire shitty life to the ground just to be with Steve. For a moment, all she could picture was the look in Steve’s eyes as he gazed at her that night. 

He looked at her like that then. Even though they were older, on two separate paths in life, and she had a ring on her finger… Steve still had that lovesick look on his face, like she hung the moon. “I’m sorry.” He murmured, biting his lip a little.

“For what?”

“For not tellin’ you how I felt. Or coming to see you.”

“It’s okay.” He shook his head, insistent.

“No. I figured out how I feel. A-About you. It’s you.” Her heart pounded, thudding against her ribcage so loudly she swore the entire party could’ve heard it. But all she cared about was Steve.

"Tell me to run," she silently urged, her fingers tightening around his. “Tell me to run, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.” For a moment, she swore Steve was thinking about doing just that. Of leaving Hawkins and all their shit behind, with her on his arm. Just her and Steve. Forever.

"Please." she breathed out before she could stop it, the word a soft whisper.

“Y/N… I-” his voice was barely audible as he whispered. “Fuck. I’m drunk.” He chuckled lightly, squeezing her hand. “But I need to say-" Her heart pounded in her chest, and she gasped for air.

“Yeah?”

But then, it all came crashing down yet again. “Y/N! There you are, sweetheart!” Her mother called, walking into the room. “What on earth are you doing in here? Your guests are-" Her gaze fell upon Steve holding her close, and a look of disdain crossed her face. “Steve. What are you doing here? And why are you holding my daughter like that?”

Steve must’ve felt her blood turn to ice then, noticed how she stiffened within his embrace. Even in his drunken haze, when he locked eyes with her again, she could see the look in his eyes, the way he was ready to defend her honour, like the hero he was. Even though by this point, it was a lost cause. Y/N knew it was. She had for years.

And maybe Steve did, too.

With a soft sigh, Steve gently pulled away, his lips brushing softly against Y/N's cheek in a tender kiss. His lips were still just as soft as the night he kissed her. And still made her feel the same way. Y/N's skin prickled with goosebumps as he pulled away, and she bit her lip hard to stop crying. “I was just…wishing her well.” Steve murmured. In response, her mother simply scoffed. 

“Well, she has a husband now, and a good roof over her head. Which is more than I can say about some people-”

“Mother!” Y/N snapped. “Steve’s my friend. Don’t be so rude.”

“Come now, Y/N. He’s a loser.” She hissed.

“Don’t-” Y/N began, but Steve cut her off.

“No. No…she’s right.” He murmured with a shrug. “Congrats, Y/N.” He managed a small smile, heading out of the room.

“Steve, wait!” Y/N gasped, trying to go after him.

“Now, now. This is for your own good, darling.” Her mother said, linking her arms with hers a little too tightly for Y/N’s comfort. Y/N ignored her, pulling her arm free and chasing after Steve. 

But by the time she got back to the party, he was gone.

And she never saw him again.

Until now, when they’re both at Nancy and Jonathan’s wedding. Where once again, Y/N is plastering a smile on her face and dodging all questions about her husband. 

Her marriage ended about a year after the wedding. She and Christopher tried really hard to make it work, and she tried to love him. But she just couldn’t, and they both knew that. Thankfully, Christopher took it better than she expected, and the breakup was amicable. Despite everything, they remained friends, and last she heard, he’d met someone new.

Her parents, however, were an entirely separate matter. Her divorce was an embarrassment because ‘the others at the country club would look down on them for this’, and ‘how dare she ruin their relationship with Christopher’s family?!’

And after years of enduring their abuse and judgement, and of them ruining her life and her happiness, Y/N finally told them the three words she’d been waiting to for years, and walked out of their lives.

“Kiss my ass.”

She hasn’t spoken to them since, and feels so much better. …She just hasn’t had the chance to tell the others yet, and the last thing she wants is to steal the spotlight from Nancy and Jonathan, to ruin yet another wedding. So for the whole day, people have been walking on eggshells around her, not sure how to broach the subject.

Much like her own wedding.

Downing the rest of her glass, Y/N heads outside for a breather, the cool Hawkins air a welcome relief. She sits down on a bench, gazing up at the stars. The night sky always makes her feel so small, so insignificant. Or maybe that was just growing up the way she did.

“Hey.” A voice says, and she sighs. She knew this time would come, eventually. “This seat taken?" Steve asks, and she responds with a shake of her head. Steve sits, the surrounding air suddenly turning awkward. Y/N hates it. She used to be able to speak to Steve with no problem, and now, she has no idea what to say.

“Hey.” Is all she can muster.

“It’s good to see you again. Where’s…what’s his face? Your husband. You guys break up or somethin’?” A laugh escapes Y/N's lips for the first time that night. Leave it to Steve to be as subtle as a car crash.

“Yeah, we did, actually.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” Steve murmurs.

“Nah, it’s fine. It was amicable. We just realised we weren’t compatible.”

“Oh.”

Silence falls again. Y/N’s heart pounds, thumping against her ribs. She racks her mind, thinking of something to say, anything. “I thought you were going to tell me to run at my wedding. That you loved me. I would’ve, if you had.” She says, immediately regretting it. Definitely not the best choice of words to say after ‌seeing each other for the first time in years, especially not after breaking everything beyond repair, but maybe after so long feeling resentful, of biting her tongue and playing along, she just wants to let it all out.

“Well sorry, but I didn’t think you’d have wanted me to, and then your mom got involved-” He says, clearly uncomfortable by the sudden revelation. “And you seemed so happy! Even when you two first started dating.”

“I wasn’t!” She retorts, snapping. “I just wanted you. Fuck, Steve. I would’ve dropped everything to be with you. And only you. And you would’ve known that if you bothered to talk to me!”

“God, Y/N, you don’t think I tried?!” Steve’s voice cracks. “But you had your new relationship, and your parents were refusing to hear me out and let me near you. And then your wedding….” He cuts himself off with a deep groan, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to stop it…but I just couldn’t. Because I kept thinking, what if your parents were right? What if everyone was? What if I’m just a loser who doesn’t deserve you, and should let you be with someone who could provide for you?” His words send a pang of pain through her chest, and she inches nearer to Steve. For a moment, her fingers brush against his skin, sending another shiver up her spine.

“Steve, you’re not a loser. I’m the loser. I forced myself into a relationship I didn’t even want, just to impress my parents.”

“Stop it.” He shakes his head. “Stop putting yourself down. It pisses me off that someone so incredible, so beautiful thinks of herself that way. Just because of her parents.” 

“Well… I told them to fuck off a long time ago, so I don’t need to deal with them anymore.” She says, making Steve grin proudly.

“That’s my girl.” That sends another pang through her heart, her chest aching. She could’ve been his girl a long time ago, and saved them from all this pain.

“So…” She murmurs awkwardly. “Now we know I’m single, how about you? Found someone?” She asks, subtly scanning his left hand and trying to spot a wedding ring. She can’t help feeling relieved when she doesn’t spot a band across his finger.

“Yeah.”

“O-Oh.” She murmurs, biting her lip. “I-I didn’t realise. Congrats. Is she here? I didn’t see you with someone.” A cool breeze blows, and she shivers. Without another word, Steve takes off his suit jacket and drapes it over her shoulders. It smells warm, comforting… like home. She takes a sniff, realising she’s already tearing up. How typical of her, ruining everything yet again. “Shouldn’t you be giving her this? She lets out a tearful giggle. “Can’t imagine she’d be happy to see another woman with your jacket.”

“Well… I don’t think she’d care.” He chuckles, and she raises a brow. “I met someone.” Steve nods. “But it didn’t work out.”

“Shit. Sorry.” She says, and he shrugs.

“Don’t worry about it. She wasn’t you.” He admits. Y/N’s eyes widen, and her mouth drops open. 

"Wh-What are you talking about?" she stammers. Steve turns to face her, his hand caressing her skin as he softly cups her cheek, turning her face closer to his. 

“That's why I broke up with her. It’s why I broke up with every woman I dated… because they weren't you. I love you, Y/N. I always have.” She blinks at him, still in shock, still wondering if she’s dreaming. “And I’m so sorry for what happened all those years ago.”

"Same," she whispered, her breath catching in her throat. "I mean, Steve, the reason Christopher and I broke up." Because he’s not you. I’m so sorry for everything, especially for letting my parents come between us-”

“Y/N.” he begins, but she shakes her head. She opens her mouth, and he shakes his head. “Don’t you dare apologise. It’s not your fault you have shitty parents.”

“No. Steve, let me say this.”

“Y/N… it’s okay.” He smiles. “I’m just glad we can start again now. We still have time.”

And with that, he leans over and kisses her.