Omni Memex

Illenium is a favorite artist, and their new album Ascend is the best yet. My love of them began with Fortress and Sleepwalker from the album Ashes in 2016. They have been an inspiration during these relatively short years, and I wonder where the creative inspiration arises from. It must be an important place. Owing to a desire to improve my ability remixing, I chose the final song from Ascend, Lonely. It uses transparent limiting for all of its exports, which is unusual and experimental. It seems to be best heard 25 to 50 percent louder. Transparent limiters reduce sound distortions as well as volume. In an attempt to improve and find new ways of creating music, I have been experimenting with more complex mixing. This has effected the sound quality, and has improved overall.

Memex is unique in that it incorporates classical elements such as piano, vocals, (violin and cello to come soon), and sometimes bells or shutter sounds. Post-EDM is my interpretation of Post-Rock for electronic music. It uses the same buildup seen in many of the songs coming from Memex, with the climax at the end rather than an immediately heavy drop near the beginning. Sometimes there is no real drop, and ambience takes hold. Most of the time, the climax is a special moment near the end. Sometimes black metal percussion is used, as in a buildup of repetitive bass drums.

Post-EDM can be seen in songs such as from Calming Sirens in the current album Synergy, with its long ambient introduction and sudden climax. The entire Cult of Esoteric Illusion series can be considered Post-EDM. The Human Condition is an excellent example of this genre and style. There are other examples throughout the history of Memex.

In the new remix of Illenium’s from the album Ascend, the major drop is near the end, the second one of two. This remix can be found here: Illenium | Lonely | Memex | Remix.

MEMEX Track 11 of Complex, Paracusia.

A recreation of Paracusia, 2C, meaning second cut.

The word Paracusia means auditory hallucinations; this includes the term "voices". Many famous figures who heard auditory hallucinations have been both revered and persecuted for thousands of years, and the trend is both variable by date and selective by culture.

It is a sorry state of things when people with a genuinely capable mind also have a crutch. It is a worse state of things when people dislike those people because of their crutch. It is a further, more unfortunate thing when people who have not told about their crutch are treated better than those who have. A genuinely capable mind can be held back by ignoring that capacity for ability. Ignoring a capable mind might come because of fear – something which is both innate and important, and problematic.​​

I knew someone who could hold a conversation up to par with anyone else around him, but who had been held back and put into the “special class”. Because I struggled and mostly failed high school, I was put into the “special class”. It was only through my vehement persistence to be removed that I was able to continue on with the other students. I have often been put in classes, organizations, and so forth, that I did not seem to fit into. It was not until college that I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa.

Having a crutch of the mind means that you rely on something, and it does not usually have your best interest. It is a crutch nonetheless, meaning that people with this crutch experience a mind with differing opinions that they are forced into obeying. When these multitude of opinions collide, discord can result. That is when the person experiencing is usually blamed. Sometimes it can feel like, when their behavior pushes everyone away, that no one can help. Ironically, misunderstandings occur in that this person does not ultimately want to make themselves miserable. They probably know that chaos is not order, and with that order brings the place for resolution. A crutch often times avoids resolution.

This is how many people come to despair, due to the misunderstandings that arise from behavior and their misunderstanding of their own behavior and the need for a compassionate response. Compassion is ultimately what will allow for self-realization and self-insight. The self is devoid of self; it is empty. By empty, I mean that every characteristic and every personality trait can float off and we would still be here. Except, we would be devoid of self. All of our senses can be gone, and we would still be here. Further devoid of self. Our identity of the mind, our concepts about life; everything and anything from the mind can be reset to empty. Then there is only consciousness. With consciousness we look inward, away from the self, away from our selves. It makes sense. But there is no concept of sense, only the real Self, the Pure, Bliss, a complete lack of suffering. It is not that we have no self, it is that it is devoid of anything real and lasting. Through meditation and using a compassionate and altruistic philosophy, resolution is more likely to occur.

How is all of this possible? I do not understand. I believe that it is real, but I can only believe that because it is relative to everything else, so everything exists. So it is real. How has all of this technology been created in such a short period of time? How has globalization played a role in this? Why are there floating balls in an empty place above us and how are some of them giant balls of fire that do not kill us? It seems fantastical. How can humans suffer to degrees at which it seems impossible? How can humans experience pleasure to a degree that goes beyond consciousness?

 We assign meaning to things via words and their definitions. Is there anything which as of yet has no meaning? No words or definitions? Meaning is assigned to everything known, almost automatically, even by description of it. So, language or communication is the study of everything known. Because we cannot possibly know that which is unknown (until we discover it, in which case it is now known and not unknown), symbols occur. A symbol of something can be as simple as a representation of the thing itself. How is the mind possible?

 This existence is what we think it is. It is also more. There is that which is perhaps communicable that cannot be qualified or quantified. There are more words or meaning to convey certain things that perhaps even our awareness cannot grasp. What am I? Who are we? How is the mind so vast? How is there no other species as advanced as ours? An anthropologist would know some of these, I am sure. Others maybe an astronomer.

There are certain complications. I am having some difficulty making music as of late. It does not have to be this way, but I am afraid that my interest for the time being has dwindled. This is okay, because it happens after every few albums. Eventually, something reignites the flame, and melodies seem effortless. Now seems like a good time for self-reflection, in a superficial way and a deep way.

Thankfully, there are plans being implemented. I have had some good ideas for melodies, and the harmony would follow with it, as wood the bass line. A more melancholic album might come next - it has at least been thought about. This is in response to recent inspiration from brilliant dark piano artists. It reminds me of Obluda, the most emotional depictions of loss and grief to come from Memex. Music sways the emotion, the only time alone, or shared with others. The emotion sways us, our selves. Back and forth, back and forth. Into a rhythmic state.

It seems like everyone is getting sick, or dying. I suppose that is the way of life. Not everyone, of course; probably most people are seriously ill. But, we all act like nothing wrong is happening - it is a fallacy, a mirage. And if we tell the truth, we are seen as nonsocial. Who wants to talk about death at a business meeting? Not many people, and that would be a characteristic meeting. So, we save it for the times when it is most appropriate. But even people who have the best of intentions to listen to you: "Hey, whenever you want to talk, just ask. I'll be there", sometimes ending up not wanting to be around you if you call them on that favor.

Is it fun to think the worst?

I love the newspaper, with its flimsical paper type and words so printed in black that you can practically still feel them off the press. Content in the news itself is more than satisfactory. The news can stop there, but they continue, they show us things that are meant to incite excitement, feel better about our life and therefore want more reaffirmation that it cannot happen to us. They publicize and turn minor or serious issues such as shootings and gang violence into a parade, into something that gets a label and a folder and a file and maybe even a writing and investigative team and maybe their own department one day. We are monetizing an industry on other people's suffering. Likewise, some companies depend that other people stay sick, or meet an unfortunate end. That goes beyond the press, or the news online or offline. It ends up being word of mouth, and then you want to know what it was all about, so you start watching or reading or listening to the news.

A lot of people catastrophize. I am probably overreacting to the content on a newspaper, at least a little. Catastrophizing is the most common form of cognitive distortion there is. We exaggerate less important events because we think we see something there that in reality does not matter or might not exist. Many people do not fulfill their words; their behavior is not aligned with what they communicate it is. We do not need to exaggerate, and it takes insight to recognize when a cognitive distortion is taking place and how to manage and remove it. It is like pulling out a thorn. It hurts; but once it is pulled out with fingernails or tweezers or some apparatus, it hurts less.

Can the pain wait? I have asked it many times, and indeed, ignored a great deal of it. How do we live in a world where everyone is okay and hurting at the same time? Some people hurt more than others, and certainly in different ways from different causes. Yet, there is something that brings it all together in the word “suffering” or “hurt” or “pain”. Sometimes, I can be completely oblivious that I am hurting someone, such as insulting them without realizing it or using their things without knowing not to. That, contrasted with my life's mission: To help others. We hurt and we help. I think it might be that way in any relationship; and it would seem that hurt is inevitable.

Relationships are much more than a yes or a no. They are emotional, dynamic, personal in sometimes serious or profound way. You are interacting with and handling the life of someone else, because they could get attached to you, and you could get attached to them. When that happens, what happens to you and what you do impact them - it happens to them in some way. There is pleasure, pain, all in between and out of.

Solace

writing turned into music,

          over time

I have written as much as I need to write

          I assumed

          and still do

creating and learning to produce music was challenging

          but it was a haven

          an escape

art in general has been supplemental of lost relationships and things that happened which did not need to have happened

when listening to Memex

          I remember creating it

          and the times in which it was made

those times are highly reflective of the ephemeral nature and uncertain beauty in much of my life

some people are afraid to touch what can heal them

although

          I have found plenty of hugs in the last couple of years

this is also highly reflected in newer albums of Memex

for instance

          the excitably buzzing energy of Siren Song

                     (there is an amazing B-Side in Siren Song quite possibly my favorite track to be released)

          then the more neutral upbeat of Ethereal

to be honest

          and I believe in honesty because it can bring authenticity which in turn reveals true qualities and is often times appreciated more than deception

to be honest

          Ethereal was meant to be almost exclusively similar to the first track

higher quality was meant to occur over time

          and while this still will be the case

          certain assessments will be carried out to determine the next serious course of action

the way in which Memex is created will be reconsidered

          and the general feel may meet a new introduced one

hopefully the transition will not last too long

production may slow down beginning in August

          or it may continue at its current pace

          it depends on circumstances

I often times think about the suffering

          and wonder how it is possible

perhaps this has been written about before

          certainly Buddhism discusses it at length

I do not think that nearly anyone understands human suffering completely

          because they have not suffered in every way

and therein lies the problem: We are designed to experience immeasurable pleasure and incomprehensible pain

if there were some kind of formula to end human suffering

          I am sure that many people would work tirelessly and go to great lengths to acquire it

so

          I write

          and make music

honestly

          it is mostly for a personal emotional resolve that I wish to connect with to others on some level

          possibly to receive affirmation and resolve a past unintended on misguided sayings and secret love

music saved my life

          and Memex is epic

realistically speaking

          I create music for other people

          because I want to give back for a

          and to have a connection on an audio level

somehow

          due to the wavelengths of sound

          I am hoping to provoke that which is most beneficial

          perhaps to be a part in ending suffering

          perhaps for some other reason

          certainly to appreciate and enjoy music

Memex

"Change in the Darkest of Times. Quality Shift. Thinking Long-Term and Living Today. An Update." published June 20, 2018, has reflected in it the honesty that dark times often are a cause for dramatic change. Sometimes that change comes slowly, other times it seems immediate. Decisions have to be made at some point, and in some ways it can be said that our greatest strengths are tested. This brief article is an honest update on thinking long-term, as far as can be said for brevity.

It can be found at

https://omnimemex.com/ or

MARCH 25, 2018

It is the afternoon. I make a call, feel better. An hour passes; where did feeling better go? I ask, was talking to my brother about him graduating not enough to last the rest of the day? I cannot drink tea, not this late in the afternoon. I feel better when the sun comes out (I can feel it in my stomach). It has always been a warm feeling, at least I imagine it is. Then it fades, and I return to a state of general discontent, realizing at moments that it is largely the fact that I dislike how I feel, that I feel unwell. Somehow that paradox escapes me.

I learn to relax as the evening comes. Who can tell if this is it; if relaxation is what I have been looking for. Then I want to sleep, to wake up to another day. Better or not, it will surely and truly be different. Somehow that makes life better – change. Change can hurt, help, everything in between – not to think in extremes, but to think with simplicity. In another way of thinking, change does not hurt or help us at all: When I think that running out of space on the bookshelf is frustrating, I might blame change. I might believe that changes in life are the cause of how I feel, and in a way, they might be. At one point in time, there was adequate room on the bookshelf for my books; now, there is not. I ask myself a lot, how I think, how I feel; how does how I think about what happens to me affect the way I feel about that thing? I have experimented, and most of the time I am responsible.

If you cannot sleep, you cope, or suffer. Maybe a half sleep will suffice. Wake up, do it all again; all over again. You get up for something, there is always a meaning in every action. Meaning in every word, whether we find it very meaningful or not. Meaningful life, purposeful life. I try to live with purpose, and sometimes I forget – often, actually. I find myself doing the things that I find give me purpose, and not experiencing the meaning they gave me the first time I did them. There was a time when making music was like throwing sticks into a river. Quite dull; yet, I wanted it to be enjoyable. Sometimes we find something dull because it is not time, and when we think it is time and it turns out not to be, then we sometimes keep trying. Eventually, you will probably get it.

There are other forms of it than writing fiction, writing poetry, or writing about my life; writing music. I write something, it gets dull; I read something interesting; I study for a long time, it gets dull; I work on a music project, how the percussion meets the melody; then I inevitably write again. It is not always a perfect cycle, it changes without notice, depending on mood, and so forth. I did not want to write about ways of achieving it that have much to do with finances. They help, and in fact it is a supporting factor. It can be seen in various forms, and can be found in many ways. It is subjective, and variable between people. It is universal, and you may experience it without realizing it. It does not need a name, a face to tell you what it is. It is common and personal.

Siren Song is the nineteenth album in the first cut of sequence 2 for Memex.

Interim is the word used to describe the long break in the production of Memex. Remixes and mixes may still continue. During this indefinite time, particular attention will be placed on its quality. There have been two defined parts to Memex: 1C, starting with Complex, and 2C, starting with Medicine. The intention is that, after the interim, particular progress will have been made as to the quality and type of music created. One genre will be selected, likely a hybrid, that includes elements of drum and bass.

During the interim, previously unreleased tracks are also likely to begin, although likely individually and as addendums, as opposed to as an album. One idea with enhancing Memex is that it is a long term project - indefinite - and, as such, needs to be taken seriously.

The goal is that, once the interim is completed, and Sequence 2 of Memex begins (indicated by the release of an album), that the many parts of production will have been utilized more effectively. This includes foundations between theory and composition, to the mixing and mastering processes. Distribution has been a mostly resolvable concern, and can be addressed. Promotion is more challenging, and there will be attempts at coming to a resolution.

Thank you for your support. Clearly, Memex would not be ongoing today in the form that it is without it. Memex will continue to progress over time.

Regards, Solace

There have been many times when the obsession with Memex seemed too great, when the meaning was too deep. Set Fire To The Field is one of several projects during the Fall of 2015 that was meant to replace Memex. Much like Ascendance under Solace Divinity, and Obluda under Mansion of Red Roses, these projects have been included into the history of Memex.